The estrogen has already taken noticeably strong effect on my penis. Masturbation is pretty much semi soft so I can see it is like anti-penis enlargement substance. I think its going to be a fun challenge. I was reading this guys thread here (koooky), he gave me an awesome idea. I already mentioned how I have missed documenting my exercises and I have not stopped jounaling since I begin Penis Enlargement nor do I plan to quit any time soon. My new idea is to keep logging with this kind of [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]PowerAssist[/words] workout as the foundation. Well I haven't got all the equipment yet, I'm going to pick up some golf gloves it sounds constructive, my idea is to record a short video of my workout every couple weeks/months that way I can document my progress effectively. What gave me this idea is I thought how it would have been so cool to open this progress thread and see some video footage of his routine. Since it was not there my plan is to make my own. I will also try wearing my [words=https://shop.mattersofsize.com/products/sizegenetics-penis-extender]extender[/words] after the workouts as had done to maintain my post workout stretch. It will take me a couple weeks to get this going. Probably less time to begin the actual records of exercise but more time to make the video, but now come to think of it I pretty much have had access to photos/video cameras whenever I needed it, sometimes it is just so much more work and less convenient to get those images taken from an outside source. Besides any girth exercises or photos/videos are out of the question off of my own equipment. This is a project that will help keep me focused on what I want and motivated in actively accomplishing my penis enlargement goals. I would estimate my start date for the recorded workout will begin Saturday 4/9/11
My Account of Blood, Sweat, and Tears
- Thread starter Turnover
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4/11/11
Day 1- [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]PowerAssist[/words] routine
Sling Shot stretch: Lx40sec, Rx40sec
R-Mandingo 1 min
R 15 Rotary Cranks
L-Mandingo 1 min
L 15 Rotary Cranks
Straight Down 30sec
R-Mandingo 1 min
Straight Down 30 sec
Kegel several minutes
Sling Shot stretch: Lx40, Rx40
P.A. A-stretch 1 min
2 Handed A stretch 1 min
P.A. Base Twist stretch: Lx40sec, Rx40sec
R 15 Rotary Cranks
Body Rock stretch approx 2 min
Bow and Arrow stretch max intensity approx 1 min each direction
Mandingo approx 1 min
Bundled A-stretch approx 5 reps
Kegels
Very sore after session but nothing unusual. I was thinking I lost some BPFSL measurment but it looked to all be there, the hormones feel to have impacted my erections I haven't remeasured what is important to me is keeping up with maintenance. Only masturbating once a day sometimes twice. A good session for a stretch routine after some time off although I have never stopped stretching on a daily basis. It was not so easy in my restroom I'm going to do fine I will probably just keep the routine shorter than I prefer and may also skip a day in here now and then when I would be more serious on a 7 day work out otherwise. When I can I will. In the morning I do my girth routine as I have always currently it is about 20 min in the shower with the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] and I hardcore stretch as well as Kegel.
I also ate a whole bunch of fucking ice cream a couple days ago....for a couple days, luckily I have been walking often daily so it should not really effect me in the worst possible way.
Day 1- [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]PowerAssist[/words] routine
Sling Shot stretch: Lx40sec, Rx40sec
R-Mandingo 1 min
R 15 Rotary Cranks
L-Mandingo 1 min
L 15 Rotary Cranks
Straight Down 30sec
R-Mandingo 1 min
Straight Down 30 sec
Kegel several minutes
Sling Shot stretch: Lx40, Rx40
P.A. A-stretch 1 min
2 Handed A stretch 1 min
P.A. Base Twist stretch: Lx40sec, Rx40sec
R 15 Rotary Cranks
Body Rock stretch approx 2 min
Bow and Arrow stretch max intensity approx 1 min each direction
Mandingo approx 1 min
Bundled A-stretch approx 5 reps
Kegels
Very sore after session but nothing unusual. I was thinking I lost some BPFSL measurment but it looked to all be there, the hormones feel to have impacted my erections I haven't remeasured what is important to me is keeping up with maintenance. Only masturbating once a day sometimes twice. A good session for a stretch routine after some time off although I have never stopped stretching on a daily basis. It was not so easy in my restroom I'm going to do fine I will probably just keep the routine shorter than I prefer and may also skip a day in here now and then when I would be more serious on a 7 day work out otherwise. When I can I will. In the morning I do my girth routine as I have always currently it is about 20 min in the shower with the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] and I hardcore stretch as well as Kegel.
I also ate a whole bunch of fucking ice cream a couple days ago....for a couple days, luckily I have been walking often daily so it should not really effect me in the worst possible way.
I am recording some thoughts this morning. I bought stretchy pants with jeans printed on them lol damn I love these pants I feel butt ass naked! I already heard some indecent comments....I was like oh I get it bums have tourettes!! Because I mean like there are way uglier girls that nobody notices but I have such small boobies
- (in comparison to the rest of my body) Anyways I keep smiling anyways because I feel so good wearing this I can see my boobs are bigger than when I started, in comparison to what I started with they are way bigger, they have some bounce to them, and my hair has a little length finally. The thing is with stretchy pants is cootchie. I saw an elderly woman walking past me and her eyes were dead center on my cootch. lol I am thinking if transsexuals were more common it would be normal- what is fucked up is I don't feel not normal. Like I feel really comfortable and good and like I have been missing out for years and years although I know if I had started at a younger age I would have gotten into some devastating trouble like what happens to a lot of girls.
Well the outfit feels good and people with tourettes are like "Aghhh, what the..!" I looked at this fat black guy with ugly long hair smoking a cigarette who was going like"omfg bla bla bla" and I'm like good luck with all that....I wish they would mind their own business I mean I can't hold a diagnosis against them, but I wish I could pay for real long hair and real big boobs it would be so much easier. I have worn fake hair and breasts before and when I did I never had any trouble I mean I got clocked like once after a couple months I remember. I hate wearing that stuff it doesnt feel like myself. I'm not going to let other people who lay around doing nothing all day effect my life when they want to shout at me some disrespectful bullshit what they need to do is take a good long look in the mirror. Even then what business do they have opening their fucking mouth? I will never make sense of it because I'm so clean and I'm only clockable because of things I cannot do anything about at the current time. Why is it dirty people are telling me shit?!?
I haven't gotten back with the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]PowerAssist[/words] it feels like my penis is hybernating I never would have known the hormones would have such a major effect in one shot! If I was not so confident I would be struggling psycologically. My tucking is perfect and all I can see is my fat pad is somewhat of a buldge but I pumped in the morning and mastrubated and it is tightly held back and my testicles are not causing any issue. I sent my friend a message to borrow the money for a computer until I can start a new job and I know he will be cool with it so I'm expecting to get it this week, my mom also said I could do some things around the house for her for some cash and I'm thinking I will try and get $60 for my 1st laser treatment on my face- that will help enormously with people clocking me since I don't wear makeup. And finally.....
But there hasn't been enough blood....
- (in comparison to the rest of my body) Anyways I keep smiling anyways because I feel so good wearing this I can see my boobs are bigger than when I started, in comparison to what I started with they are way bigger, they have some bounce to them, and my hair has a little length finally. The thing is with stretchy pants is cootchie. I saw an elderly woman walking past me and her eyes were dead center on my cootch. lol I am thinking if transsexuals were more common it would be normal- what is fucked up is I don't feel not normal. Like I feel really comfortable and good and like I have been missing out for years and years although I know if I had started at a younger age I would have gotten into some devastating trouble like what happens to a lot of girls. Well the outfit feels good and people with tourettes are like "Aghhh, what the..!" I looked at this fat black guy with ugly long hair smoking a cigarette who was going like"omfg bla bla bla" and I'm like good luck with all that....I wish they would mind their own business I mean I can't hold a diagnosis against them, but I wish I could pay for real long hair and real big boobs it would be so much easier. I have worn fake hair and breasts before and when I did I never had any trouble I mean I got clocked like once after a couple months I remember. I hate wearing that stuff it doesnt feel like myself. I'm not going to let other people who lay around doing nothing all day effect my life when they want to shout at me some disrespectful bullshit what they need to do is take a good long look in the mirror. Even then what business do they have opening their fucking mouth? I will never make sense of it because I'm so clean and I'm only clockable because of things I cannot do anything about at the current time. Why is it dirty people are telling me shit?!?
I haven't gotten back with the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]PowerAssist[/words] it feels like my penis is hybernating I never would have known the hormones would have such a major effect in one shot! If I was not so confident I would be struggling psycologically. My tucking is perfect and all I can see is my fat pad is somewhat of a buldge but I pumped in the morning and mastrubated and it is tightly held back and my testicles are not causing any issue. I sent my friend a message to borrow the money for a computer until I can start a new job and I know he will be cool with it so I'm expecting to get it this week, my mom also said I could do some things around the house for her for some cash and I'm thinking I will try and get $60 for my 1st laser treatment on my face- that will help enormously with people clocking me since I don't wear makeup. And finally.....
doublelongdaddy;424597 said:
But there hasn't been enough blood....
Excellent news, I was searching everywhere for a sweater, not just any sweater it had to be this sweater. Well finally I found it and I'm writing it here because after this morning it has been like a complete polar opposite attitude from interactions with others. Not one single negative coment not even one. I really like the sweater its nothing special just a particular style I wanted. Its pretty ridiculous how people will judge you so much on the difference of a peice of cloth over your shoulders. I feel like I went to DisneyLand, nobody has done anything mean or acted stupid and I walked all the way across downtown it feels a little bit fun. It must have really pulled it together. After I bought the sweater I went to a payphone I put in 35c and then 50c fell out. And I got the sweater cheaper than I was willing to pay.
Right? Its like, why are you asking me for money I live in the same city as you!
doublelongdaddy;425002 said:All of the bums in my town have tourettes too"Can I bum a cigarette", "Can I bum a quarter for the bus", "Can you help a vet get a cup of coffee" So fucking irritating.
Right? Its like, why are you asking me for money I live in the same city as you!
Shorter workout total approx 20min
4/14/11
Warm Up
Sling Shot stretch: Lx40sec, Rx40sec
Rotary 15 R
Mandingo R, L
Rotary 15 L
Mandingo R, L
A-stretch x 3reps
Bow and Arrow stretch: Rx1min, Lx1min (my arms lose stretgth before my penis)
Rotary 15 R
Mandingo R, L
Straight Out stretch
A-stretch x 5 reps
Rotary 15 L
Mandingo R, L
Base Twist: Rx40sec, Lx40sec
Double Handed A-stretch x 30sec
Rotary R 15, L 15
A-stretch x 3 reps
Mandingo R
Straight Out
As always Kegels and girth routine in the morning. After the session was feeling strong fatigue held a lazy ass stretch until I begin to feel like a pinching tingling sensation so I stopped. This morning there were little scratches at the tip of my glans I'm assuming from my nails pinching during the stretching. The PowerAsisst takes upper body strength to hold a firm grip while stretching.
Otherwise everything else is the same I masturbated once and it was really fucking good I wanted to go again but not enough stimulation after the session and the hormones have caused lower frequent erections; one thing I am disappointed in. I was not happy jerking it 10 times a day but I would still like the option. Makes me wonder about if I should really start androgen blockers that will be like suicide for my penis, but I really want the results. I would only take them once or twice a week not everyday. Also still on my natural hormones fenugreek, red clover blossoms, saw palmetto, PABA, and flax seed oil daily
I was wearing a shirt and pants today and I thought that I fit right in how would it be strange only a shirt and pants ever? Should I not be allowed to wear them how I feel good? It occured to me how it is not fair if a girl can wear these pants and these shirts how I should not be allowed to wear them? It was a thought that made me feel better this morning and it is also forcing me to see how most of the problems I am having is because the location I am geographically.
4/14/11
Warm Up
Sling Shot stretch: Lx40sec, Rx40sec
Rotary 15 R
Mandingo R, L
Rotary 15 L
Mandingo R, L
A-stretch x 3reps
Bow and Arrow stretch: Rx1min, Lx1min (my arms lose stretgth before my penis)
Rotary 15 R
Mandingo R, L
Straight Out stretch
A-stretch x 5 reps
Rotary 15 L
Mandingo R, L
Base Twist: Rx40sec, Lx40sec
Double Handed A-stretch x 30sec
Rotary R 15, L 15
A-stretch x 3 reps
Mandingo R
Straight Out
As always Kegels and girth routine in the morning. After the session was feeling strong fatigue held a lazy ass stretch until I begin to feel like a pinching tingling sensation so I stopped. This morning there were little scratches at the tip of my glans I'm assuming from my nails pinching during the stretching. The PowerAsisst takes upper body strength to hold a firm grip while stretching.
Otherwise everything else is the same I masturbated once and it was really fucking good I wanted to go again but not enough stimulation after the session and the hormones have caused lower frequent erections; one thing I am disappointed in. I was not happy jerking it 10 times a day but I would still like the option. Makes me wonder about if I should really start androgen blockers that will be like suicide for my penis, but I really want the results. I would only take them once or twice a week not everyday. Also still on my natural hormones fenugreek, red clover blossoms, saw palmetto, PABA, and flax seed oil daily
I was wearing a shirt and pants today and I thought that I fit right in how would it be strange only a shirt and pants ever? Should I not be allowed to wear them how I feel good? It occured to me how it is not fair if a girl can wear these pants and these shirts how I should not be allowed to wear them? It was a thought that made me feel better this morning and it is also forcing me to see how most of the problems I am having is because the location I am geographically.
4/19/11
Don't usually make updates like this but I haven't gone back to my stretching routine in 5 days. I had some scratches on the tip of my glans from my finger nails and it made it impossible to squeeze and pull it. Today is feeling much better. I was even feeling the sharp sting in the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] but haven't missed a day in that. I have to say I notice a remarkable loss in flaccid hang. I read on a instructional paper the doctors gave me for the estrogen the effects and side effects of the hormones and one is reduced penis size. I thought it would not effect me so much since I have pumped my body full of L-arginine in 2010 but it did effect me I do not have the same size or erection quality....I have been ejaculating with a softy but it feels really good I mean really good for a minute or two and then a depression sets in but it is not exactly related to the substance. Like I said my flaccid stretch seems to be there and currently I am still not having sex so I am not worrying too much about being able to satisfy anyone. I do penis enlarge regularly it is something I will always feel is part of my life no matter how my body is changing, it will be important in any relationship I end up. I also really really want the other benefits of the estrogen they give soft skin, less body hair, more head hair, breasts and hips viola.
On a down side I finally had a buyer for the equipment I'm trying to sell for a computer and of course the day they come to buy it is my sisters birthday so it all got mixed up and they couldn't find my address and now they are not sure if they want to buy it!!! So last night I could have gotten the money for the computer but now it is going to take possibly another week or longer! It is really difficult keeping up here sometimes on public computers I have begun to hate it so I hope I can just get it over with sooner the better.
Don't usually make updates like this but I haven't gone back to my stretching routine in 5 days. I had some scratches on the tip of my glans from my finger nails and it made it impossible to squeeze and pull it. Today is feeling much better. I was even feeling the sharp sting in the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] but haven't missed a day in that. I have to say I notice a remarkable loss in flaccid hang. I read on a instructional paper the doctors gave me for the estrogen the effects and side effects of the hormones and one is reduced penis size. I thought it would not effect me so much since I have pumped my body full of L-arginine in 2010 but it did effect me I do not have the same size or erection quality....I have been ejaculating with a softy but it feels really good I mean really good for a minute or two and then a depression sets in but it is not exactly related to the substance. Like I said my flaccid stretch seems to be there and currently I am still not having sex so I am not worrying too much about being able to satisfy anyone. I do penis enlarge regularly it is something I will always feel is part of my life no matter how my body is changing, it will be important in any relationship I end up. I also really really want the other benefits of the estrogen they give soft skin, less body hair, more head hair, breasts and hips viola.
On a down side I finally had a buyer for the equipment I'm trying to sell for a computer and of course the day they come to buy it is my sisters birthday so it all got mixed up and they couldn't find my address and now they are not sure if they want to buy it!!! So last night I could have gotten the money for the computer but now it is going to take possibly another week or longer! It is really difficult keeping up here sometimes on public computers I have begun to hate it so I hope I can just get it over with sooner the better.
Had a short stretch session last night, probably 20min mostly straight down and out, some BTC, and mandingo. I skipped two days pumping, Friday and Sunday. It felt really good to stretch last night. Haven't gotten the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]PowerAssist[/words] back out yet I would have really liked to get some [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?83577-Length-master-official-order-thread-now-shipping-06-16-2014!!!]LengthMaster[/words] in but I couldn't feel like I had enough privacy and I don't really like stretching exercises in the bathroom. I thought of a good analogy for trying to get out of the ghetto. It is like trying to fly a kite on a day without wind. Everyone around you is standing on their kites, kicking their kites, knocking the kites out of other peoples hands. Every day you wake up and go outside and try to fly your kite but you just cannot get it to fly. You know it is possible to fly a kite because you see other people all over parts of the city flying with their kites up in the sky so you know it is possible. So every day you try again and you keep trying and you have to avoid people trying to fuck it up for you and you just keep believing you can get it to fly.
I got the money for my laptop but I am just enough too short to afford the tax on something worth buying so my mom said she would help me with the tax at the end of this week she gets paid What a relief! Otherwise I was extrememly depressed the beginning of last weekend I know the estrogen is probably the most to blame it was such a low feeling I felt like not getting out of bed- on the other hand I think Easter is my new favorite holiday! Wow that turned out to be the funnest weekend I've had in a long time! We ate Lots of good food and my whole family stayed at my moms the whole weekend and we watched movies, and went on walks, and shared sleeping in the bed, and yeah the only thing I was missing was not having much to type on the website.....and I've got a hella busy week this week, looking for a job IS a full time job! I can't wait to get one so I can get laser on my face that is a tough decision to not get that and to buy a laptop but I can't handle these public computers anymore/
My penis has lost some gains I'm guessing Idk its hard to tell when I'm not really conscious if it is big enough or not because I spend most of time avoiding sex, even thinking about it, it is weird dressing like female and then at the same time consiously dressing against fornication, but my sister dresses like a guy and we have lots of fun making fun of sluts and hanging out and she always calls me 'she' and always tells me how pretty I am. When I pump, my penis is big enough I never care about the size and it can take as few as 10min to get it up to enough pump not to fit in my underwear. Kegelling is like a part of thinking. If people are starring at me I usually end up getting in like 25 kegels while I'm consious of them. You can forget about maddogging people when you're a girl, if you look at people like you are going to fight they think you are checking them out.... as soon as I get my computer I can't wait to write about it even if I don't post about it. I spend a lot of my time finding groups and I have a couple this week I have to go to, not very exciting but it is keeping me out of trouble and in the loop. I've got one to go to so I am getting ready for that now.
I got the money for my laptop but I am just enough too short to afford the tax on something worth buying so my mom said she would help me with the tax at the end of this week she gets paid
What a relief! Otherwise I was extrememly depressed the beginning of last weekend I know the estrogen is probably the most to blame it was such a low feeling I felt like not getting out of bed- on the other hand I think Easter is my new favorite holiday! Wow that turned out to be the funnest weekend I've had in a long time! We ate Lots of good food and my whole family stayed at my moms the whole weekend and we watched movies, and went on walks, and shared sleeping in the bed, and yeah the only thing I was missing was not having much to type on the website.....and I've got a hella busy week this week, looking for a job IS a full time job! I can't wait to get one so I can get laser on my face that is a tough decision to not get that and to buy a laptop but I can't handle these public computers anymore/My penis has lost some gains I'm guessing Idk its hard to tell when I'm not really conscious if it is big enough or not because I spend most of time avoiding sex, even thinking about it, it is weird dressing like female and then at the same time consiously dressing against fornication, but my sister dresses like a guy and we have lots of fun making fun of sluts and hanging out and she always calls me 'she' and always tells me how pretty I am. When I pump, my penis is big enough I never care about the size and it can take as few as 10min to get it up to enough pump not to fit in my underwear. Kegelling is like a part of thinking. If people are starring at me I usually end up getting in like 25 kegels while I'm consious of them. You can forget about maddogging people when you're a girl, if you look at people like you are going to fight they think you are checking them out.... as soon as I get my computer I can't wait to write about it even if I don't post about it. I spend a lot of my time finding groups and I have a couple this week I have to go to, not very exciting but it is keeping me out of trouble and in the loop. I've got one to go to so I am getting ready for that now.
Turnover;427301 said:Had a short stretch session last night, probably 20min mostly straight down and out, some BTC, and mandingo. I skipped two days pumping, Friday and Sunday. It felt really good to stretch last night. Haven't gotten the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]PowerAssist[/words] back out yet I would have really liked to get some [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?83577-Length-master-official-order-thread-now-shipping-06-16-2014!!!]LengthMaster[/words] in but I couldn't feel like I had enough privacy and I don't really like stretching exercises in the bathroom. I thought of a good analogy for trying to get out of the ghetto. It is like trying to fly a kite on a day without wind. Everyone around you is standing on their kites, kicking their kites, knocking the kites out of other peoples hands. Every day you wake up and go outside and try to fly your kite but you just cannot get it to fly. You know it is possible to fly a kite because you see other people all over parts of the city flying with their kites up in the sky so you know it is possible. So every day you try again and you keep trying and you have to avoid people trying to fuck it up for you and you just keep believing you can get it to fly.
I got the money for my laptop but I am just enough too short to afford the tax on something worth buying so my mom said she would help me with the tax at the end of this week she gets paid
My penis has lost some gains I'm guessing Idk its hard to tell when I'm not really conscious if it is big enough or not because I spend most of time avoiding sex, even thinking about it, it is weird dressing like female and then at the same time consiously dressing against fornication, but my sister dresses like a guy and we have lots of fun making fun of sluts and hanging out and she always calls me 'she' and always tells me how pretty I am. When I pump, my penis is big enough I never care about the size and it can take as few as 10min to get it up to enough pump not to fit in my underwear. Kegelling is like a part of thinking. If people are starring at me I usually end up getting in like 25 kegels while I'm consious of them. You can forget about maddogging people when you're a girl, if you look at people like you are going to fight they think you are checking them out.... as soon as I get my computer I can't wait to write about it even if I don't post about it. I spend a lot of my time finding groups and I have a couple this week I have to go to, not very exciting but it is keeping me out of trouble and in the loop. I've got one to go to so I am getting ready for that now.
If you need a couple buck Turn let me know, I can paypal you some money to get that computer.
Well I decided to wear make up today and Wow what a motherfucking difference, I mean really, not only has every guy been polite to me, no women are giving me obscene stares, I have not heard one derogatory comment since I left my house. I was watching t.v. and some new reality show was on and usually when I see a beautiful woman I turn the channel but this time I just kept staring at this girls perfect face. While I was watching I applied my own make up then put on something nice and decided I'm going downtown, and now that is where I am. It felt pretty good too. I put on long hoop earrings I have not worn in a couple years and actually I'm wearing the exact same thing I always wear except this time I put on about a quarter size worth of make up. Proabably not even that much. I think that is absurd I am wearing so little make up I could spit on the ground and I would have more spit than make up and that changes how the entire world accepts me or not. Because I have a very passable face and not even a bad shaped body so when people are mean I am always confused even when they just call me "he" I am like why? Well I don't live in a normal neighborhood I realized it is not typical for people to shout rude comments at people in regular society. Its weird because I live in this one small section of the city of Long Beach that is torn apart and run down and the people there are all dirty and poor. It is literally like night and day a few blocks in ANY other direction the houses are nice and people are wearing beach clothes and they say 'Hi'. It is ghetto all the way down the train tracks to L.A. and that is where I pass through Compton and Watts. I use to live in Crenshaw I think that was the most ghetto area I have ever lived before I lived in this neighborhood in Long Beach it is seriously fucked up. I think it is so bad because so many highschool kids think they are thug and those are mostly where I hear descrimination, but it still makes me feel really sad when I hear it even though it is not true and I am only the way I am as in 'clockable' because I am celibate....and I am not doing anything wrong.
So I put on a little make up and poof I can walk down the street without any anxiety. I stopped trying because it use to really make me horny to wear make up but then I wore it because I feel good and I really am pretty when I wear even the tiniest bit. Anyways Crenshaw is not even like this area because people really get killed all over the place there and it is within walking distance of downtown L.A. and that is skid row. So people in Long Beach just really do not even know shit. I'm sorry if this is sort of out of place but I want it in my journal. I wanted to update this part because usually I am always complaining about how much of a problem it is that I have to deal with descrimination. But that is not because I am "not" passable, it is because I am not trying to look feminine, and when I try even just a spits worth, I had the complete polar opposite experience. I am just not turned on doing it I feel actually a bit angry that I am in a way forced to have to fight for it. And I am wearing a big fat diamond ring my mom gave me on my left ring finger.:blush:
I practiced the Lig Push and Stretch last night and that is a incredible stretch. I could really feel the tension and its potential. I then used my [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?83577-Length-master-official-order-thread-now-shipping-06-16-2014!!!]LengthMaster[/words] and stretched about 3 sets of bundles left, right, up, down, and BTC. The session lasted approx 20 min possibly longer I find myself starring at the clock and never actually registering the time. I just like stretching it feels good while I am setteling in for the night. I think I masturbated 2-3 times yesterday I wanted to go one more time but the last time it was very difficult unfortantely. I do not look at adult entertainment and lately not even a mirror although I did get semi hard looking in my bathroom mirror one morning when I saw my breast was really defined the areloa has become more pronouned and full it is extremely exciting for me. The problem is I am losing sensation in my penis. The experiement is a failure, hormones are destruction to penis enalrgement I will never recommend it! I have to keep going though there is no going back. When I masturbated last it felt like a marathon and my arm was getting tired but in my brain I knew I needed to ejaculate. I heard cumming is the bodies biggest release of endorfines natually possible. That is incredible. My load has also decreased I use to shoot and shoot and shoot seriously, and now it is just a decreased puddle...well if my partner really needs some cock I know how to fix it up, at the moment it is not really manditory and I will be making the changes that are most important. I am glad I found penis enlargement I can't picture having it missing in my life.
So I put on a little make up and poof I can walk down the street without any anxiety. I stopped trying because it use to really make me horny to wear make up but then I wore it because I feel good and I really am pretty when I wear even the tiniest bit. Anyways Crenshaw is not even like this area because people really get killed all over the place there and it is within walking distance of downtown L.A. and that is skid row. So people in Long Beach just really do not even know shit. I'm sorry if this is sort of out of place but I want it in my journal. I wanted to update this part because usually I am always complaining about how much of a problem it is that I have to deal with descrimination. But that is not because I am "not" passable, it is because I am not trying to look feminine, and when I try even just a spits worth, I had the complete polar opposite experience. I am just not turned on doing it I feel actually a bit angry that I am in a way forced to have to fight for it. And I am wearing a big fat diamond ring my mom gave me on my left ring finger.:blush:
I practiced the Lig Push and Stretch last night and that is a incredible stretch. I could really feel the tension and its potential. I then used my [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?83577-Length-master-official-order-thread-now-shipping-06-16-2014!!!]LengthMaster[/words] and stretched about 3 sets of bundles left, right, up, down, and BTC. The session lasted approx 20 min possibly longer I find myself starring at the clock and never actually registering the time. I just like stretching it feels good while I am setteling in for the night. I think I masturbated 2-3 times yesterday I wanted to go one more time but the last time it was very difficult unfortantely. I do not look at adult entertainment and lately not even a mirror although I did get semi hard looking in my bathroom mirror one morning when I saw my breast was really defined the areloa has become more pronouned and full it is extremely exciting for me. The problem is I am losing sensation in my penis. The experiement is a failure, hormones are destruction to penis enalrgement I will never recommend it! I have to keep going though there is no going back. When I masturbated last it felt like a marathon and my arm was getting tired but in my brain I knew I needed to ejaculate. I heard cumming is the bodies biggest release of endorfines natually possible. That is incredible. My load has also decreased
I use to shoot and shoot and shoot seriously, and now it is just a decreased puddle...well if my partner really needs some cock I know how to fix it up, at the moment it is not really manditory and I will be making the changes that are most important. I am glad I found penis enlargement I can't picture having it missing in my life.Try and get a quick update in: 1 more week until my laptop is here Last night I was laying in bed and my chest felt soreness so I was rubbing under the Areola and there is a like a little ball under each breast. They are hard I am not sure what they mean it is giving my chest definition but I could not lay on my stomach. The whole breast is not hard it is just under the nipple about the size of a golf ball. I was thinking the fenugreek and other pills could not be a good combination with estrogen so I will ask the doctor in a couple days at my appointment in May. Other than that the make up trick is working very well. I walked through a group of kids and instead of teasing me for my gender they made fun of me saying, "Oh, don't touch me!" Aha, so they do have tourettes that is why they make fun of people! I knew it, there was like 15 kids and there was no way around them so I just slipped through them and that is what they said....and then this morning some guys were calling me beautiful and to shake my ass....I feel like wearing make up is like equivalent to wearing a super hero mask because it is the same street, wearing the same clothes, but I'm wearing one line of eyeliner on each eye and the reactions from people are drastically the opposite of what they were since I moved here.....really odd.
I woke up with morning wood, it felt so good I haven't had that since the first shot. Did not last as long as I would have liked. I can pretty much kiss that goodbye when I start androgen blockers. I'm wondering if I can take L-arginine with these substances, might be helpful with this because I have been missing it. I think another thing happening is the dyslexia I recently complained about in my "Typing" thread. It was never a concern of mine, sure it happen on occasion, but recently it has become a regular habit. I also feel melancholy. I don't look up when I'm walking somewhere, or feel like talking. I looked in the mirror and I was like yeah really pretty and then I just sat down and wait for my hair to get longer, hahaha. Oh yea and I pumped this morning and my cock was looking realllly fat. There was some lint on it and I was trying to flick it off and it kept jumping around to another place on my dick and it was like flipping over a little whale
I was thinking how fun it would be to shove in somebody's mouth and seeing them trying to fit it in there because I never have since I made it bigger Thanks DLD.
Last night I was laying in bed and my chest felt soreness so I was rubbing under the Areola and there is a like a little ball under each breast. They are hard I am not sure what they mean it is giving my chest definition but I could not lay on my stomach. The whole breast is not hard it is just under the nipple about the size of a golf ball. I was thinking the fenugreek and other pills could not be a good combination with estrogen so I will ask the doctor in a couple days at my appointment in May. Other than that the make up trick is working very well. I walked through a group of kids and instead of teasing me for my gender they made fun of me saying, "Oh, don't touch me!" Aha, so they do have tourettes that is why they make fun of people! I knew it, there was like 15 kids and there was no way around them so I just slipped through them and that is what they said....and then this morning some guys were calling me beautiful and to shake my ass....I feel like wearing make up is like equivalent to wearing a super hero mask because it is the same street, wearing the same clothes, but I'm wearing one line of eyeliner on each eye and the reactions from people are drastically the opposite of what they were since I moved here.....really odd. I woke up with morning wood, it felt so good I haven't had that since the first shot. Did not last as long as I would have liked. I can pretty much kiss that goodbye when I start androgen blockers. I'm wondering if I can take L-arginine with these substances, might be helpful with this because I have been missing it. I think another thing happening is the dyslexia I recently complained about in my "Typing" thread. It was never a concern of mine, sure it happen on occasion, but recently it has become a regular habit. I also feel melancholy. I don't look up when I'm walking somewhere, or feel like talking. I looked in the mirror and I was like yeah really pretty and then I just sat down and wait for my hair to get longer, hahaha. Oh yea and I pumped this morning and my cock was looking realllly fat. There was some lint on it and I was trying to flick it off and it kept jumping around to another place on my dick and it was like flipping over a little whale
I was thinking how fun it would be to shove in somebody's mouth and seeing them trying to fit it in there because I never have since I made it bigger Thanks DLD.
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Turnover;428592 said:My areola is looking really thick and round. The tissue that was like a small ball is just breast tissue that softened up recently. Musta been the first stages of growth. It is a tad sore otherwise everything is fine and I am happy about it
WHen I was going through puberty I had hard, nodes under my nipple. The doctor said is was a flood of hormones. Must be what you are experiencing.
5/6/11
FRIDAY
40cc estrogen lower left buttocks. I thought I had gained weight but I am the same as last month Which is currently 203 fully clothed and wearing shoes
Had a good stretch the day before last through the hole in my jeans on my moms couch haha. I have not got an erection in like 3 days!...Not happy about it. I jerked off last night and felt great, did not get fully hard. I heard I could take viagra that will be helpful. I kicked ass last year enlarging my penis and in one month destroyed all the evidence! Even my huge balls have shrinkage. Well that is the price of ingenuity. More update coming soon, can't wait til this weekend will have my laptop and that means no more hours of waiting for online access and just overall peace of mind for me.
FRIDAY
40cc estrogen lower left buttocks. I thought I had gained weight but I am the same as last month
Which is currently 203 fully clothed and wearing shoes Had a good stretch the day before last through the hole in my jeans on my moms couch haha. I have not got an erection in like 3 days!...Not happy about it. I jerked off last night and felt great, did not get fully hard. I heard I could take viagra that will be helpful. I kicked ass last year enlarging my penis and in one month destroyed all the evidence! Even my huge balls have shrinkage. Well that is the price of ingenuity. More update coming soon, can't wait til this weekend will have my laptop and that means no more hours of waiting for online access and just overall peace of mind for me.What do you guys think of my banana? DLD could you make me a bigger [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?83577-Length-master-official-order-thread-now-shipping-06-16-2014!!!]LengthMaster[/words]?
I told my sister about the hard circle behind my areola and she told me that all women have that behind their breasts...I felt hers and she felt mine and they feel exactly the same so she told me that means I now have breasts and fat tissue will start growing around that. It is a little sore and she said it will always be that way and after we squeezed hers it was sore she said. It feels wonderful because when I masturbate it is the best orgasms I have ever felt with feeling my own chest because it feeling so much different than when I did not have estrogen. My orgasms are weaker; instead of shooting out they slowly push out in bursts of puddles about 5 total. I use to drown my sheets and now it is still not absent but it is definitely less. My erection was hard and it was not like before when it was a throbbing hard but the way I think is it feels like having sex pulling on my dick and my nipple can reach my mouth so every time I cum I make a vocal noise I cannot hold back.
Ok so anyways I stretch every night as I have always; the Lig Push stretch is one of favorite stretches while in bed. I do a lot of out, left, right, and mandingo stretches. The session will usually last 20 minutes at most. Sometimes I will stretch randomly through the day. Note to self wearing see through underwear with a pair of jeans with a hole in the crotch is probably not the best idea I have been stretching through this hole of these pants I like wearing and the hole has been gradually getting bigger. I didn't realize these under pants are virtually see through and all weekend I have looked down and my penis is showing. I missed a couple days pumping whenever I end up spending the night at my moms otherwise I have not missed any days there pumping approx 20min every day.
Ok so anyways I stretch every night as I have always; the Lig Push stretch is one of favorite stretches while in bed. I do a lot of out, left, right, and mandingo stretches. The session will usually last 20 minutes at most. Sometimes I will stretch randomly through the day. Note to self wearing see through underwear with a pair of jeans with a hole in the crotch is probably not the best idea
I have been stretching through this hole of these pants I like wearing and the hole has been gradually getting bigger. I didn't realize these under pants are virtually see through and all weekend I have looked down and my penis is showing. I missed a couple days pumping whenever I end up spending the night at my moms otherwise I have not missed any days there pumping approx 20min every day.doublelongdaddy;429862 said:SO happy for you! Now you can spend ALL DAY on [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words]
I know, I wish more mornings were like this morning. When I got to the train station the train arrived, when I got to the bus stop the bus arrived, nobody was fighting with each other, nobody was screaming at each other, nobody was saying nasty things to me, there was only a few people around, when I got to my moms a new computer was sitting here for me, I just got off the phone with someone who told me they for sure got me a job as a receptionist at a hair salon! What a fukn day! If I had more days like this I would love the area I live in and now that I just found out about this great job opportunity it looks like that is really coming right around the corner
I made a video masturbating and Wow I am so proud of myself. If someone could help walk me through how to upload videos I would love so much to share my progress. I did not shave for the video or wear anything I thought to be erotic and I feel like I was looking so good. First I'll talk about my penis, it has doubled in size!! I wouldn't say its huge but it has definitely grown in length and girth. if I didn't know my stats and I was seeing me for the first time I would say my length were to be 8" fully erect. The girth is looking surprisingly thick. Like I said not monstrous like in some of those pics in the thread we were conversing in earlier, but if I have ever felt like I was lacking in confidence in my life I do not have that any more because my size is looking very nice and I would admit if it were otherwise. The other side of the spectrum I was so happy about is how the hormones have made so much progress in a short time. My chest was bulging out of my shirt, my hips were not looking like my own waist; my ass was like a bubble I look exactly how I want to look already and thats why I say I wasn't wearing anything sexy because I wasn't even trying. I was looking at some naked photos of a couple shemales and for a moment I felt jealousy but I know I have something those girls don't, and I was thinking I should not throw away the opportunity to prove it to the world, but it will be so much more special for my lover when we meet if I can hold off. I keep getting more beautiful as time goes on anyway. When I think I look so nice I feel like it will be over when I wake up and it sometimes causes me to feel emotional or frantic.
Without shaving, wearing make up, wearing anything nice, and for a 10min stroke film I think just that video alone could get me some views in a porno advertisement. My penis is not 8" I think 7" bone pressed maybe more, like I have said the estrogen has caused some loss in my E.Q. and flaccid hang, so I assume it has probably effected all the work I've done.
Since going out people have been just as ignorant as they ever are and again I am stuck in this ghetto(yuck) full of disgusting people...nobody has made outright comments yet, aside from the occasional snickering. I feel so much confidence after that video, I see people the way I did years ago when they were "normies", I have always been different, whether it was because I was a punk rocker, or whatever, it has been hard for me to not feel stupid when people are mean because I feel awkward dressed down(i.e. not trying to be attractive) sometimes. I was rushing to leave my moms house and my brother and his friend were tired of waiting to give me a ride and right when I was walking out I heard one of them say, "this fool is a cock sucker" and it pisses me off because I get treated like a fag or something when they are mad when I am not even having sex- if I was boy if I was.......these kind of people have no idea. I know my body has everything I have been after this entire time I have been a resident at [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] and from here on it is going to just keep looking better and better. Especially happy with my penis looking proportionate to the rest of my body WOW that is honestly amazing. If I wasn't posting here so often I would be at a point I would say I have reached all my goals like I have heard some long time members post with an updated picture. Of course I will never be done, I have an obsession with LARGE and I want a long fat cock and huge tits so even though this is a good place I am going to go over the deep end like I do everything
If someone can help me upload a video please let me know it would really be cool to take that step.
Without shaving, wearing make up, wearing anything nice, and for a 10min stroke film I think just that video alone could get me some views in a porno advertisement. My penis is not 8" I think 7" bone pressed maybe more, like I have said the estrogen has caused some loss in my E.Q. and flaccid hang, so I assume it has probably effected all the work I've done.
Since going out people have been just as ignorant as they ever are and again I am stuck in this ghetto(yuck) full of disgusting people...nobody has made outright comments yet, aside from the occasional snickering. I feel so much confidence after that video, I see people the way I did years ago when they were "normies", I have always been different, whether it was because I was a punk rocker, or whatever, it has been hard for me to not feel stupid when people are mean because I feel awkward dressed down(i.e. not trying to be attractive) sometimes. I was rushing to leave my moms house and my brother and his friend were tired of waiting to give me a ride and right when I was walking out I heard one of them say, "this fool is a cock sucker" and it pisses me off because I get treated like a fag or something when they are mad when I am not even having sex- if I was boy if I was.......these kind of people have no idea. I know my body has everything I have been after this entire time I have been a resident at [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] and from here on it is going to just keep looking better and better. Especially happy with my penis looking proportionate to the rest of my body WOW that is honestly amazing. If I wasn't posting here so often I would be at a point I would say I have reached all my goals like I have heard some long time members post with an updated picture. Of course I will never be done, I have an obsession with LARGE and I want a long fat cock and huge tits so even though this is a good place I am going to go over the deep end like I do everything
If someone can help me upload a video please let me know it would really be cool to take that step.
Ok I'm sry there is so many I know I am a pervert for doing this:blush: I thought I would update this in another 4 months but I was so excited how the video turned out. It is not like it matters no one checks this thread except DLD anyways and he never comments on my boobs This was from the video I shot earlier today, remember if you are checking this, I have not shaved in it, combed my hair, no make up, or not in a fancy outfit, so in my opinion I am doing pretty damn well myself for not looking too shabby, no?
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And starbucks is so fucking relaxing after going through the hell I went through, I am loving this!
This was from the video I shot earlier today, remember if you are checking this, I have not shaved in it, combed my hair, no make up, or not in a fancy outfit, so in my opinion I am doing pretty damn well myself for not looking too shabby, no?View attachment 23763
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And starbucks is so fucking relaxing after going through the hell I went through, I am loving this!
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I took a better face pi[ture
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If who I am is not good enough there is not a thing I can do about it. I cannot believe I have gained this much breast tissue in only 2 estrogen shots. I love posting pictures of myself and I like seeing how much changes I'll be going through. I say in the next 4 months I will wear something nice and post it but I know myself too well and suddenly the moment will present itself I will make a really good video all fixed up and everything. These pictures here I have not put a razor to my chest, I have clipped it recently in a weeks time, but you can see the estrogen has prevented much growth of hair anymore. A person I know told me she knew a girl who started hormone shots with a flat chest and in 12 months had huge boobs. Is there anything better than having your own pair of breasts 24/7- the answer is no, ok. I can't explain how good it is, it is like having your own two best friends with you at all times, even though these are still small ok enough with the jokes I also wanted to restate on my previous pictures I never planned on posting as photographs, when I said penis doubled in size it would be accurately described as double in volume. Well what ever the case I have the perfect before photo for it when I am feeling like posting them. Currently my update will only be this pointless rambling to myself, just like most of my journal has always been, it doesn't bother me. Its not as important to me what anybody else thinks as it is important to me that I have documented my life, the changes and the thoughts through it. I get embarrassed sure, that is not as strongly conscious as I feel accomplished that I've done it. I do feel disappointed when I do not record something special and as it has ended how much I wish I had done it.....very few things get away but as they have in the past if I could go back and do it all over again I would in a heartbeat. Those events are never possible to recreate. What is it so amazing about creation? Is it the satisfaction of seeing your own talent make a piece of the world in your own personal style, or a vision come to life, or the freedom to do what with it whatever you wish, or having the pride it being yours and from you? This is not really my concern as it is to succeed in whatever it is I am creating. Failure has never really been an accepted direction for myself. Do I ignore failure or do I simply postpone its inevitability when I am so determined to get what I want? Whatever the answer is I have always felt like in some classification I have created something sincere and estimated with great works of art; at least their same unique product of design
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df-eLzao63I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SVuHV7suhQ&feature=related
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ok enough with the jokes I also wanted to restate on my previous pictures I never planned on posting as photographs, when I said penis doubled in size it would be accurately described as double in volume. Well what ever the case I have the perfect before photo for it when I am feeling like posting them. Currently my update will only be this pointless rambling to myself, just like most of my journal has always been, it doesn't bother me. Its not as important to me what anybody else thinks as it is important to me that I have documented my life, the changes and the thoughts through it. I get embarrassed sure, that is not as strongly conscious as I feel accomplished that I've done it. I do feel disappointed when I do not record something special and as it has ended how much I wish I had done it.....very few things get away but as they have in the past if I could go back and do it all over again I would in a heartbeat. Those events are never possible to recreate. What is it so amazing about creation? Is it the satisfaction of seeing your own talent make a piece of the world in your own personal style, or a vision come to life, or the freedom to do what with it whatever you wish, or having the pride it being yours and from you? This is not really my concern as it is to succeed in whatever it is I am creating. Failure has never really been an accepted direction for myself. Do I ignore failure or do I simply postpone its inevitability when I am so determined to get what I want? Whatever the answer is I have always felt like in some classification I have created something sincere and estimated with great works of art; at least their same unique product of designhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=df-eLzao63I
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0SVuHV7suhQ&feature=related
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Hey seriously thank you. Breast hormones are permanent, I think once you stop taking them the soft skin on the body isn't so soft and if you have body hair it wont have the effect of not growing anymore. I plan on lasering everything so it wont be an issue. I don't have a size currently I'm shooting for, the doctors say whatever your mom and sisters are is what someone on estrogen will be and my mom had to have breast reduction surgery and my sisters boobs are giant ol' titties so naturally by genetics mine should be the same. At the end of it all I may get implants if I am unhappy with the size, although I doubt I will be, if I'm dating someone and they like huge boobs I think implants would be fun, I am saving money for them either way just in case. My wig was so beaten up it has never been taken care of and it was cheap to begin with. I only wore it in the videos because it brought the whole look together but I hated wearing 'em! my hair is still very short and in those pictures I did not comb them and I haven't had laser yet so I was pretty embarrassed but also proud because I was surprised at how fast I had a couple positive changes. I have super wavy hair, when I was young I use to wish it was straight so much I would put so much goop in it and growing long hair was never something I liked because at the length it is now its the worst, so I would always cut it. At this point it will take a full year from now for it to grow about as short as I will think it is appropriate, and it is very wavy and I feel like it is perfect for the look I am going for. I never knew why I had such light brown curly hair but I think it is because it is going to be a stunning look I have never accomplished.
I'm going to try and just upload pictures of my progress from now on. We'll see how it goes. And yes I am totally sucking in my stomach in this 1st picture- it's a part of manifestation! They are shaping nicely and my next shot is June 9th and the doctor said he would give me a prescription for androgen blockers this time!
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They are shaping nicely and my next shot is June 9th and the doctor said he would give me a prescription for androgen blockers this time!View attachment 23808
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Keeping up with the updates, everything takes so long! It literally takes as long as watching hair grow... I was doing some research this morning and found some interesting information for supplements that help improve curves and breast size. Maca Root extract is one and it is also good for male arousal effects. They also said Saw Palmetto is good for stopping testosterone so Idk because that was giving me some intense erections but when I started the estrogen I had to stop the other supplements. I saw some girls bodies and it made me horribly jealous if I didn't know everything I already know I would think I was trapped this way forever! People are so ignorant they have no idea you can pretty much do anything in the world you dreamed up to your body with surgery as a last resort.
It was really weird yesterday I had a really horrible day right up until I went to sleep but the whole day I never felt defeated over it I just felt like after each thing it was over as soon as it was over. I thought maybe June 1st is a hexed day. If it had been any other time I would have probably sulked or been feeling really down because of so many things happening. I really didn't let it effect me that I got iin a angry mood or frustrated. In the movie the Secret after the lady kicks her toe they say not to keep that negative frame of mind or the whole day you will have that. I remembered that and 1st thing in the morning I sliced my finger open on a broken mirror and it bled everywhere. I went on about my business unfrustrated. After that I lost something like $30 worth of brand new clothes that I really needed badly and couldn't afford to replace. That really upset me but I tried to remain optimistic anyway. A couple other things happen on the way home I wont get into details and then when I got home I found out a really good friend of mine, one of the very few I have in real life, just suddenly died. Then I really was upset. Today I don't feel effected by it all. It was really a strange day for that all to happen at once. I was at my moms and I told her "I better get to bed before I get struck by lightening." Today I feel like any other day, depressed and like all my changes are going slow as ever- I think thats the normal way these days Its only there because I don't allow myself to feel satisfied with how I already am. Even though what I want only time can fix. After yesterday it didn't become like any worse of a nightmare and it easily could have been. I think I'm just happy I have so many other good things in life and for what is to come.
No picture updates currently the changes are not major enough. I will have a prescription for androgen blockers I am so happy it is June!! I am noticing some penis decreased size. Flaccid hang is still bigger than it was before Penis Enlargement. My erections are not solid and I was surprised. I got a cramp one night from masturbating. I have to masturbate or I feel like I am getting too anxious, but I can't get it up like I have been just by myself laying in bed. I don't use anything but my hand and sometimes dry, and my mind. I can still go 2 or 3 times in a row. The increased foreskin has grown permanently. And my routine is the same except for one new stretch I like is the deep lip push. I have not been exercising everyday like I was. I will again soon.
It was really weird yesterday I had a really horrible day right up until I went to sleep but the whole day I never felt defeated over it I just felt like after each thing it was over as soon as it was over. I thought maybe June 1st is a hexed day. If it had been any other time I would have probably sulked or been feeling really down because of so many things happening. I really didn't let it effect me that I got iin a angry mood or frustrated. In the movie the Secret after the lady kicks her toe they say not to keep that negative frame of mind or the whole day you will have that. I remembered that and 1st thing in the morning I sliced my finger open on a broken mirror and it bled everywhere. I went on about my business unfrustrated. After that I lost something like $30 worth of brand new clothes that I really needed badly and couldn't afford to replace. That really upset me but I tried to remain optimistic anyway. A couple other things happen on the way home I wont get into details and then when I got home I found out a really good friend of mine, one of the very few I have in real life, just suddenly died. Then I really was upset. Today I don't feel effected by it all. It was really a strange day for that all to happen at once. I was at my moms and I told her "I better get to bed before I get struck by lightening." Today I feel like any other day, depressed and like all my changes are going slow as ever- I think thats the normal way these days
Its only there because I don't allow myself to feel satisfied with how I already am. Even though what I want only time can fix. After yesterday it didn't become like any worse of a nightmare and it easily could have been. I think I'm just happy I have so many other good things in life and for what is to come. No picture updates currently the changes are not major enough. I will have a prescription for androgen blockers I am so happy it is June!! I am noticing some penis decreased size. Flaccid hang is still bigger than it was before Penis Enlargement. My erections are not solid and I was surprised. I got a cramp one night from masturbating. I have to masturbate or I feel like I am getting too anxious, but I can't get it up like I have been just by myself laying in bed. I don't use anything but my hand and sometimes dry, and my mind. I can still go 2 or 3 times in a row. The increased foreskin has grown permanently. And my routine is the same except for one new stretch I like is the deep lip push. I have not been exercising everyday like I was. I will again soon.
Well damn its passed 3 o clock in the morning, my mom must have sprinkled crack in my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Hell naw, I had to write about what happen tonight. I found this video online of a transsexual who was doing exactly what I wanna do. She was standing in front of the camera masturbating. I got so jealous. The reason I got so jealous is because this bitch had it ALL. She had wide hips, small waist, flat stomach, huge ass, big tits, smooth tan flawless skin, juicy red lips, long nails, long blonde hair, a big dick, facial feminzation surgery, this bitch had it all. I went straight into a sinking sadness. I felt like it was something I would never accomplish. I occasionally post on another forum for transgendered people and decided I would write about it. It was then I suddenly realized this girl in the video is a whore. I chose to not be a whore therefore I have to wait years to have everything she does. This video is not of her as a whore but she has a website where she in fact is a whore.
I will not share her name because I will one day have all those looks and there is no reason to show anyone that just to one day be it. While posting on the other forum I had a very personal feeling with how I feel about this forum and how special it is. At least to me it is and for you other few guys who it is. On the other forum I make one or 2 posts rarely, then disappear for weeks at a time or longer, in fact I have only been a member probably at most a month. While writing to them I thought about having the links to what I wrote here but I would rather not begin to mix up the 2 genres. One ts is crazy enough for this site and the girls over there have some pretty unattractive looks at times I don't need to mix the types!! This gorgeous ts would have had me wallowing in depression tonight, I probably would have fallen asleep in tears, but writing about it saved me that frustration. Because that could have been me but I don't actually want that I want what I have. Of course I want to be attractive and I am but this girl was adult entertainment star beautiful and for me I want that to only be for one person intimately and that means it is just going to take more time. Sometimes I can't help it but feel that most ts's aren't as lucky as me because their faces always have some very masculine traits that clocks them. Maybe I do as well but I have always felt very lucky because I am a rare few that have a different kind of face to do make it work as a tgirl.
And of course I wouldn't mind if there were others like me here but only if they loved penis enlargement and not because they loved "penis"! There may be an element of fun here but at the core of [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] there is the purpose that it stands for and that is something worth standing for. That must be why I relate to it so much because I have had to fight for a lot in a short time of my life. In fact I KNOW that is a huge part of it. I love this website and I love that I am accepted no matter what. Trust me this girl in the video was Bangin', straight BANGIN! But she also was pretty ditsy and ya'll know that aint my style anyways. One day I'm gonna rock that shit [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] style. Maybe I will never have sex again, but I will make the sexiest penis enlargement videos that have ever been made. Nobody is going to know what to think about penis enlargement when I get through with it. They are going to just say, "I guess so". I hope to break the 10,000 post mark at the least number of posts. This place is my home of penis enlargement and I am going to get that shit no matter what anybody else thinks or says. If its the last thing I do I will be that just like everything else I have ever made up my mind about.
I will not share her name because I will one day have all those looks and there is no reason to show anyone that just to one day be it. While posting on the other forum I had a very personal feeling with how I feel about this forum and how special it is. At least to me it is and for you other few guys who it is. On the other forum I make one or 2 posts rarely, then disappear for weeks at a time or longer, in fact I have only been a member probably at most a month. While writing to them I thought about having the links to what I wrote here but I would rather not begin to mix up the 2 genres. One ts is crazy enough for this site and the girls over there have some pretty unattractive looks at times I don't need to mix the types!! This gorgeous ts would have had me wallowing in depression tonight, I probably would have fallen asleep in tears, but writing about it saved me that frustration. Because that could have been me but I don't actually want that I want what I have. Of course I want to be attractive and I am but this girl was adult entertainment star beautiful and for me I want that to only be for one person intimately and that means it is just going to take more time. Sometimes I can't help it but feel that most ts's aren't as lucky as me because their faces always have some very masculine traits that clocks them. Maybe I do as well but I have always felt very lucky because I am a rare few that have a different kind of face to do make it work as a tgirl.
And of course I wouldn't mind if there were others like me here but only if they loved penis enlargement and not because they loved "penis"! There may be an element of fun here but at the core of [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] there is the purpose that it stands for and that is something worth standing for. That must be why I relate to it so much because I have had to fight for a lot in a short time of my life. In fact I KNOW that is a huge part of it. I love this website and I love that I am accepted no matter what. Trust me this girl in the video was Bangin', straight BANGIN! But she also was pretty ditsy and ya'll know that aint my style anyways. One day I'm gonna rock that shit [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] style. Maybe I will never have sex again, but I will make the sexiest penis enlargement videos that have ever been made. Nobody is going to know what to think about penis enlargement when I get through with it. They are going to just say, "I guess so". I hope to break the 10,000 post mark at the least number of posts. This place is my home of penis enlargement and I am going to get that shit no matter what anybody else thinks or says. If its the last thing I do I will be that just like everything else I have ever made up my mind about.
SirKyle;435746 said:I'll probably never get why you do this to yourself, but I'm starting to like you, I guess
Also: I've been quite jealous as well when I see the really pretty transgenders spotting 8 inchers or so
Sometimes people "don't get it" right, and that's fine, it's not for them to "get". As for a little compensation I like to be this way. I like to do regular things chicks like doing like regular average things that guys NEVER do! I have been this way my whole life and it has been a struggle ever since I can remember. I like make up, I like smooth skin, I like small clothes, I like having my own breasts, I like not being gross, I like having fixed up nails, I like dresses, I like my hair for the first time in my life, I like the emotional aspect of it, I just like it, and I like making my dick bigger, and when people are confused about that it is because there are not enough people that are like me that can say it so not many people have the opportunity to understand that I do it because "I like" it, so everyone else is off the hook.
Update 06/05/11
Great news, actually I'll start with the bad news, I wish so bad I would have taken a picture, the good news is I will have another opportunity and even a better one in the near future! I made a short video of myself and I began masturbating. I decided to stop the video and watch it and I began masturbating while watching it and I got really really hard. Harder than I have in a very long time. I think because I never look at adult entertainment and I don't get turned on by it, while watching myself I became very excited and my dick was harder than it has been in a long while. Well 1st thing I noticed was I thought, "Yep it's bigger!" I was going to try and take a picture but I couldn't stop stroking because it felt too good massaging it. I have a hole in the middle of these jean shorts and I was tugging it through there so I didn't want to start struggling with getting a perfect shot of the whole thing I just wanted to enjoy the feeling. This is without any pumping this morning. Soon I will get back into my hanging routine and clamping again. I am so excited to start this again! I thought I had lost some gains because the estrogen had such a powerful effect after one shot and then 2 and this week a 3rd, but today I could see that not stopping penis enlargement has really had an effect also so I am inspired to really work hard at gaining more length and girth. I have never stopped a routine but I was really sad that for 6 months I have not been able to work as hard as I use to with the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?83577-Length-master-official-order-thread-now-shipping-06-16-2014!!!]LengthMaster[/words] and [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]X-40[/words].
I also found a great instructor on Youtube that teaches voice lessons and I am excited about practicing that in the future and I took a picture of my chest this morning and it was looking large and I am surprised I am making such fast progress without much effort . I massage my chest daily very frequent so that could be the side effect. I have also noticed that I have been eating better but I do eat less healthy food more often that I use to. I thought I was maybe gaining weight in my belly but in the video I noticed my stomach looks pretty even because my hips have gotten rounder and that is probably where my breast tissue is coming from. Also no double chin. It maybe is because on the instructions from the estrogen that fat is redistributed to these other areas of the body. I read somewhere that is not possible but it also was not from a doctor who said it wasn't and who said it was is from a doctor. I tried eating whatever I feel like really and hoping it works and it looks like it is. My stomach was feeling a bit fatter but I like it like that because in fact it looks good to have some tummy and I get less attraction physically which I prefer right now until I make my videos then I will focus on that again. I believe by the end of this year I should be starting so Christmas 2011 and that is nearing the end of the world.
Great news, actually I'll start with the bad news, I wish so bad I would have taken a picture, the good news is I will have another opportunity and even a better one in the near future! I made a short video of myself and I began masturbating. I decided to stop the video and watch it and I began masturbating while watching it and I got really really hard. Harder than I have in a very long time. I think because I never look at adult entertainment and I don't get turned on by it, while watching myself I became very excited and my dick was harder than it has been in a long while. Well 1st thing I noticed was I thought, "Yep it's bigger!" I was going to try and take a picture but I couldn't stop stroking because it felt too good massaging it. I have a hole in the middle of these jean shorts and I was tugging it through there so I didn't want to start struggling with getting a perfect shot of the whole thing I just wanted to enjoy the feeling. This is without any pumping this morning. Soon I will get back into my hanging routine and clamping again. I am so excited to start this again! I thought I had lost some gains because the estrogen had such a powerful effect after one shot and then 2 and this week a 3rd, but today I could see that not stopping penis enlargement has really had an effect also so I am inspired to really work hard at gaining more length and girth. I have never stopped a routine but I was really sad that for 6 months I have not been able to work as hard as I use to with the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?83577-Length-master-official-order-thread-now-shipping-06-16-2014!!!]LengthMaster[/words] and [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]X-40[/words].
I also found a great instructor on Youtube that teaches voice lessons and I am excited about practicing that in the future and I took a picture of my chest this morning and it was looking large and I am surprised I am making such fast progress without much effort . I massage my chest daily very frequent so that could be the side effect. I have also noticed that I have been eating better but I do eat less healthy food more often that I use to. I thought I was maybe gaining weight in my belly but in the video I noticed my stomach looks pretty even because my hips have gotten rounder and that is probably where my breast tissue is coming from. Also no double chin. It maybe is because on the instructions from the estrogen that fat is redistributed to these other areas of the body. I read somewhere that is not possible but it also was not from a doctor who said it wasn't and who said it was is from a doctor. I tried eating whatever I feel like really and hoping it works and it looks like it is. My stomach was feeling a bit fatter but I like it like that because in fact it looks good to have some tummy and I get less attraction physically which I prefer right now until I make my videos then I will focus on that again. I believe by the end of this year I should be starting so Christmas 2011 and that is nearing the end of the world.
Hey Turnover,
Just wanted to chime in here. A friend of mine went through the change (guy --> girl) through college. She started off with the hormonal pills, got the new hair, new clothes, etc. Now, she had changed her name and has more or less completed her transformation...and to be honest, she is so much happier than she ever was as a male. For some people, it seems they just feel it and nothing else will make sense, and I hope you know that many have gone through the transformation and many more will. I really do hope that the changes bring all the happiness it brought for my friend.
Also, on another note, your progress in terms of Penis Enlargement has always been inspiring. When I first joined the site at the end of last summer, your story and thread was super motivation and showed me what was possible. I've gained a 1/4 in girth since I started, which may not seem like much, but I'm happy with my gains and happy to put the time in to gain more. Take care, my friend!
Just wanted to chime in here. A friend of mine went through the change (guy --> girl) through college. She started off with the hormonal pills, got the new hair, new clothes, etc. Now, she had changed her name and has more or less completed her transformation...and to be honest, she is so much happier than she ever was as a male. For some people, it seems they just feel it and nothing else will make sense, and I hope you know that many have gone through the transformation and many more will. I really do hope that the changes bring all the happiness it brought for my friend.
Also, on another note, your progress in terms of Penis Enlargement has always been inspiring. When I first joined the site at the end of last summer, your story and thread was super motivation and showed me what was possible. I've gained a 1/4 in girth since I started, which may not seem like much, but I'm happy with my gains and happy to put the time in to gain more. Take care, my friend!
deedni;436311 said:
Wow thanks for that. I was just thinking this morning if somehow I were to be forced to not go through with this, I would literally kill myself. [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] has helped me so much. I've gotten some great compliments the last couple days I was thinking about sharing, but your compliment was so cool I think you about covered it.
Well today I had my 3rd estrogen shot; left arm this time. This is the most shots I've had in a row so I am feeling really good. I also got my prescription for androgen blockers.
O ya and deedni have you got a [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words]? That could really help you increase your girth faster.
Last edited:
June 9, 2011
I had such an awesome day today. Actually it was the 1st day I had in a Loooooong time I was smiling and jumping up and down. 1st thing I did was get my shot of estrogen. It hurt in my arm, I could feel the substance flowing in my arm. It was warm and the pressure from the needle felt so heavy. After that I went to another appointment to find out about seeing a new doctor for estrogen. I wanted to go to this new place because they have better estrogen I think. And it is better. There was a waiting list until 4 months but they just had an opening for only 2 months so I got that. They said if they have a cancellation for a sooner date they will let me know. I don't have to pay here either and they are offering a ton of other services here for therapy, medication, and actually many many other things. I don't have to pay because they looked me up and I have Medicare. I didn't even know but somehow they can tell. They printed me out a paper of my Medicare number so I went to there pharmacy and gave them my testosterone blocker prescription called Spirolactin. I told them I have this Medicare number and this prescription. They told me to hang on a minute and it was literally a minute and they handed me my testosterone blockers! You can't believe how happy I was. They told me they make you pee and that must be why I was pissing so much before on the Saw Palmetto. I have to take them everyday so I am sad I will probably lose even more function of my penis but I will only have to be on them a couple years. They are also going to help me change my gender on my I.D. which I have stressing about and I didn't know they could help me with that
Everything else has been really good too. Someone in my apartment was acting kind of rude to me in front of the building where all these people from my building stand around sometimes. I asked him why he was dissing me like that in front of them was he embarrassed they thought he would be gay? He told me not at all that none of those guys believe him that I was not born a chick. They want to know if I'm down to fuck and he told them, "I have something to tell you guys, that girl was not always a girl" and then he told me they were stupid because they don't believe him. I was embarrassed to take that as a compliment. My hair is getting longer and I have a few new clothes so I have been having a much easier time in the ghetto. The only thing is I am desperate for laser on my face and stuff. This guy on a bike was singing, "the most beautiful girl in the world" and he stopped where I was and told me he has been watching me around for a while. I told him thanks I get a lot of shit from a lot of bums around here. He told me I probably don't see it but I also break a lot of hearts. Aww, I told him I was abstinent and he said if I ever quit to please please let him know haha yeah right not likely.
I was surprised things have been getting so much better. I will be 27 in 4 months or so, I am so ready to be moving on from this place. It has been a really stressful year I was not expecting that.
I had such an awesome day today. Actually it was the 1st day I had in a Loooooong time I was smiling and jumping up and down. 1st thing I did was get my shot of estrogen. It hurt in my arm, I could feel the substance flowing in my arm. It was warm and the pressure from the needle felt so heavy. After that I went to another appointment to find out about seeing a new doctor for estrogen. I wanted to go to this new place because they have better estrogen I think. And it is better. There was a waiting list until 4 months but they just had an opening for only 2 months so I got that. They said if they have a cancellation for a sooner date they will let me know. I don't have to pay here either and they are offering a ton of other services here for therapy, medication, and actually many many other things. I don't have to pay because they looked me up and I have Medicare. I didn't even know but somehow they can tell. They printed me out a paper of my Medicare number so I went to there pharmacy and gave them my testosterone blocker prescription called Spirolactin. I told them I have this Medicare number and this prescription. They told me to hang on a minute and it was literally a minute and they handed me my testosterone blockers! You can't believe how happy I was. They told me they make you pee and that must be why I was pissing so much before on the Saw Palmetto. I have to take them everyday so I am sad I will probably lose even more function of my penis but I will only have to be on them a couple years. They are also going to help me change my gender on my I.D. which I have stressing about and I didn't know they could help me with that
Everything else has been really good too. Someone in my apartment was acting kind of rude to me in front of the building where all these people from my building stand around sometimes. I asked him why he was dissing me like that in front of them was he embarrassed they thought he would be gay? He told me not at all that none of those guys believe him that I was not born a chick. They want to know if I'm down to fuck and he told them, "I have something to tell you guys, that girl was not always a girl" and then he told me they were stupid because they don't believe him. I was embarrassed to take that as a compliment. My hair is getting longer and I have a few new clothes so I have been having a much easier time in the ghetto. The only thing is I am desperate for laser on my face and stuff. This guy on a bike was singing, "the most beautiful girl in the world" and he stopped where I was and told me he has been watching me around for a while. I told him thanks I get a lot of shit from a lot of bums around here. He told me I probably don't see it but I also break a lot of hearts. Aww, I told him I was abstinent and he said if I ever quit to please please let him know
haha yeah right not likely.I was surprised things have been getting so much better. I will be 27 in 4 months or so, I am so ready to be moving on from this place. It has been a really stressful year I was not expecting that.