My Account of Blood, Sweat, and Tears

I think the worst is over
That was SO hard !
Thanks for understanding

I pumped twice in public restrooms, for a gal who tans naked on the roof thats not much of a challenge but it was definitely interesting. Orgasms where the best on the beach in the privacy of the restrooms of course. I've been told the new place has closed bathrooms so I can get back what I'm missing out on also I should not miss another day from today on:)!
 
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its going to be so much better where im going anyways. my family is abusive here. i dont usually like going into details of the bad things that occur. Maybe i am talking to myself here more or less...... it is kind of a way for me keep notes for my books. i was really exhausted this week brothers not using drugs, i took a bath today and half way through it i had to empty it and refill it because there was so much dirt in it ew. i had alllot of time to think and there was almost 24 hours of silence from my mouth everyday. God spoke to me very clearly. Im excited about the future and [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] because i love u
 
tomorrows the night i leave for a fuckin shelter hur-fucking-yay: at least they will pump me with all the best legal hormones available to the nation. That is the cost of a car payment. The rest is kill or be killed Finger nail eating black smog choking L.A. I used to call it the Devils asshole.

One night I got stranded on skid row at 3 am. in 09

ive been journalling over 3 years daily and have close to 25 full note books

I was on skid row the other morning well before the sun rise. Trying to find a computer to talk to u guys. Whata fuckin idiot. u know being at skid row aint so bad it aint. I just imagine when i finally get out of here, i can take a really long golf club and smash the shit out like some new technology thats keeping people from figuring out when something is fucking right in your lap to stop trying delete it!

seriously what im trying to do u think its safer to be celibate and walking in worst part of the ghetto at night/locked up in a facility 24/7 w psychopaths OR a guy who said u can do all the things u want to do in ur dreams for free.....................but i could turn out to be a serial killer or child molestor.

Im 1000% serious ok guys

say something to help me or fukcin buzz off
 
its free hormone treatment bc of some seriously fucked up shit that happens to tgirls: not bc yay they make trannies there!! anyways YAY
 
Well you are getting into a secure place tomorrow so you will be safe and able to work on other issues. I have been in the same place many times and I am stronger for it. You will be fine/
 
And seriously Dld ur fucked up for sending me ur number/and hanging up on me when i calledc claiming not to know who made u those BLOGS. Im out here backpacking all my belongings in shinny silver heals and long sleeves and pants bc i love u enough to rather die than imagine a life without u. What did u guys do take away my mod status and call me a druggy. i dont talk to myself ok. this is the fucking stupid fucking internet and real life is so real i have only stayed because of something i cant explain here. It happen to me when i was a child and i dont remember anything before it.

I apologize for having such a brass tone, but it is just that it is the truth.
 
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You got that phone number through a user name that had Salvini in it! Why the hell would you do that? Lets not play coy here.
 
doublelongdaddy;413211 said:
Well you are getting into a secure place tomorrow so you will be safe and able to work on other issues. I have been in the same place many times and I am stronger for it. You will be fine/
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that is true it is just the panic before the storm

doublelongdaddy;413213 said:
You got that phone number through a user name that had Salvini in it! Why the hell would you do that? Lets not play coy here.
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Thats what u really think of me?
 
Thank you so much
REDZULU2003;413822 said:
How are you doing Turnover? PM me if you like.
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you really probably would not know how good it really is to hear something.

I'm not able to really chat these days. I'm over tired, I have a knot the size of Kansas in my lower abdomin, I want to complain and complain and complain some more.

I wont. Later Im going to try and get back here and catch up. If you didnt know [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] is the best part of my day....and thats why if I were to even die I would die with this stupid smirk on my lips.
I also have been taking tighter shape.
 
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just a quick update i might be at my moms tonight not that she is happy about it, she made me practically humiliate myself which she loves.....if u guys really want to help me the best way is to visualize I am where I want to be at. Then I will be

Otherwise Im at my moms computer desk right now and they have my chair at the computer that I have used for a year while Penis Enlargementing 5 hours a day.... u know how much jizz i have dumped here...lol...damn nugga
 
I THOUGHT- this has to be the worst thing I've ever been through but then I thought- "Yeah, but I get to be the shit, so what if 4 weeks wasted in hell. I learned so MUCH" I'm really fucking ready for it to be good again though.

I'm so tired I was just closing my eyes and was hallucinating visions of suns and rain- I'm not even stonned a little bit, completely sober. I'm about to pump and crash.

I have not missed one day pumping. I pump every day, my favorite place is the public restrooms in Venice beach. If I cant get a full 30 min Im sure to get 15 a day and sometimes I just split it up into 2 sessions, not always the same restroom.

This is all for you [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words], I'm making a personal commitment to you that I'm going to make it and when I do it's for you. This is officially bullshit it is so fucking fucked up. When I'm done I just want to come back here I don't belong to anybody else. I wrote an outline to one of my books and I can't wait to share it. My whole life was waiting until now to buy a laptop and now I finally know why.
 
I just worked so hard to make these 4 Youtube videos and the audio was destroyed every track. I take [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] very serious. I'm going to leave one video open on Youtube with a ruined audio because it is a song you cant find anywhere else and its a good song to do a workout or just enjoy, I really do (Except for the minute at 1:20-2:20 THE WORST OBNOXIOUS hissing) . I was waiting to post pics of my gains and weight loss when I met someone special so they could help me take the pics. Now I dont know when you guys will be able to see them. Anyways heres the new songhttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5UN62xxEAY
 
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