My Account of Blood, Sweat, and Tears

ahahahah I am a freak of nature:)

First thing I am going to fix is my waist.

Other modification's will include my penis, breasts, hair removal, tanning, preparation for I dont know what- I guess the final greatest party of all time or something. There is only so much you can do with words. I have begun this exercising specifically targeted at my waist because I want to keep the fat in all the other places of my body. I'm drinking an herbal dieting tea

I never stop pumping. The only thing I can think is I gotta prove that where I am is where the moneyz at bc it is. This journal is helpful but I cant even care about it for the first time all year. Right now I'm going to keep doing what I always have been and if it's as good as it looks then I havent stopped heading in the right direction all along.
 
 
What a week, I am crazy right? You would be so proud of me though because I kick ass. One morning I even woke up at 5am and jogged an hour IN THE RAIN! Ooo buddy that's one bad mother.... Last night I woke up at 2am and pumped an hour+. I purchased some pills today which are specifically designed strictly to reduce belly fat **HURRAY** so I hope it was money well spent having a flat tummy would change my life no matter who gets me or not. My diet has been terrific; all organic and whole wheat blends.

I've been keeping busy and covering tons of ground. I'm not sure what is going on, how this all came about, how I can make it stop. I do know that [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] is here and it is the coolest to be part of this affiliation so accepting and supportive. When you start to believe in yourself is when the world really begins rotating around you.

My exercising has taken its first stand still since the first run of my routine in March. It makes me too sad. Pumping is still rolling. [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]X-40[/words] can sure pack on some pressure. I switch between the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]X-40[/words] and [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]X-40[/words], generally 1 hour, depending on the amount of suction and pain I'm getting. When I order the Titans is when I'll try and really hammer out some girth work and take the pics, it's just stretching that I cant think about ATM. Pumping my chest might not be the best idea obtaining ultimate results. Light stretch marks are appearing nearby I've never had so obviously I dont want that. I will settle on an alternative natural method until I decide on the implants size, that will be a great deal of fun. ;).
 
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Everything is going well, just got out of my first work day dressed down fem and I think I passed. Even the women treat me like a chick lol craziness. The only thing is I hate getting hit on by all the average joes<:(. I got erect at one point and the pants I'm wearing are skin tight/stretchy and the panties I'm wearing, well they dont "hide" anything. The boner was not easy to keep out of site and I would not mind walking around with it showing but I couldn't help pulling my shirt down to not accidentally give any old ladies a heart attack ?:(

I can tell all the pumping is really effecting my shaft- the outer skin, size, shape. The only stretching I can think about is Hardcore [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] stretching. Pump 1 hour approx a day everyday and take the 1 tsp L-Arg. The diet pills are working it is most likely a combination of all the other work I'm putting into it. A l most t h ere just need some fenugreek:cool: o yeah and I never mentioned the lip injections haha well see where this is going, if I am going to do movies then I will.

I understand this very moment that you will not have me. Even though I wanted there to be, you will truly never know how bad, that. Wtf did I have everything I could have ever wanted, I could never stop smiling, and now I can never stop crying! This fucking life you can't win.
 
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They're trying to force me Out. When your really angry at somebody I guarantee it is your average stupid person. :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Here's what happen this morning: I had thrown out all my girl outfits as of September in fear of not having a home. I tried, but to no avail, I am what I always would seek. It was 2 separate worlds, and I said back then I chose [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words], well now it is just one. So all the blur of my past trys to haunt me, I was looking for some regular, plain, full covered panties. Since they've been mostly thrown out- I found an old ruffled skirt that passed the knee. I had to add that to something that matched a plain polka dot black sweater. My mom wanted to take us to Denny's this morning and I wasn't going to wear that but I had to see her in my outfit "what the fuck I am still just me" Ok that is the worst problem.

She flipped out man. Freaked. I am still really upset. This happens about twice a week, and the usual day is just a fresh dose of getting screamed at if I'm anywhere in near distance.

Ok that brings me to here, an old friend gave me the advice if your mom is not cool with it DONT DO IT. Have a place to Live

True- how about the place I am going to next I WANT to just be as normal as I feel. It is the worst confusion because I am accepted by literally everyone I have always been gifted with being passable- sorry mom.

How do I separate something that finally became ONE............
 
You just made all my problems seem extremely trivial. Obviously you have probably tried talking to her. I pray for you friend. I wish there was magic advice I could give you, but I think this is something you have to ultimately figure out on your own.

Be with the people who support you as much as possible. We are all here for you.
 
4 sum reason. Idk what it is still

when you are heart broken further than words could tell. some reason it says it will be ok. thats all i know that its telling me. its ok. its ok

but i want to go now. but i have to wait bc it told me its ok.

i swear though if u make me a fool. it will not be on my conscious. i have enough forgiveness for anyone. and i also cant begin loving u any less
 
n just in case i dont know whats happening: my update

i lost all teh weight. i recieved a box worth of breast supplement supplies. i have money. i look so good women are so jealous i am being thrown on to the street, regardless of what anyone could say at this point. just bc im so gorgeous and i have to work harder to fulfill my quest, as much as this hurts right now, it told me it is going to feel that good/contrast forever
 
Ok im on my way back to Venice so i Have no clue how i will check my email asap but a day wont go by i dont think of you. Pray for me
 
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