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Hey guys! This is another one of my "kiss the.... goodbye". Since premature ejaculation is something a lot of men are experiencing it has become a huge problem for not only men (whose confidence might be screaming for help), but women as well (they do not get what they want). This is a huge problem, there are even some couples that break up, because of premature ejaculation. As we all know confidence is something every man must have. Confidence is well being. Confidence is happiness. Everyone (your future boss, everyone you might want to be friends with and every and I mean EVERY woman) likes people (men) with good confidence. Sexual act is something more than just fucking. It is love (for some people). If everyone knew how to make love and give enormous pleasure to the other half- the world would be an awesome place. I've been reading on this topic for quite some time and want to share my research (the net-comments in forum, articles etc.) and all of my knowledge regarding this topic to help as many people as I can.
Basic knowledge on Premature Ejaculation
What is premature ejaculation?
-It is blowing a nut before you want to. There is no such thing as having or being sick from premature ejaculation- it is nothing more than your own opinion whether you have it or not, which can be changed/influenced.
Why is there such thing as premature ejaculation?
-The reason men are used to ejaculating fast is because throughout the evolutionary process, the time when they had their guard off had to be minimized due to the vulnerability. They could be attacked any moment. That is how the body adapted to prevent stealth attacks.
-Another reason for this is bad masturbation habits. Most (if not all) teens want to blow as soon as possible when masturbating (they intentionally use mental control to get themselves more/faster aroused). Whether it is because they fear they can be caught any moment or because they just want to feel good and don’t like waiting. This reprograms their bodies to be used to blowing as fast as possible. But in sex there is more than 1 person who wants to feel satisfied, so this is not a good way of thinking.
Ejaculation response triggers
There are two things that can actually trigger you ejaculation response:
- Physical sensitivity- when even though your mental state is perfect for long lasting (when you have no erotic/sexual related thoughts) sex- you find it hard to last long.
- Mental sensitivity- when even though your physical state is perfect for long lasting (when your penis itself is not that sensitive to stimulation) sex- you find it hard to last long.
Erection
There are 2 types of erection that a man can get.
- The first one is physical stimulation and no (or minimum) mental stimulation.
- The second one is mental stimulation with no (or minimum) physical stimulation.
There is a combination of these two also- Combining physical (playing with yourself) and mental (having erotic thoughts) stimulation.
Mental stimulation gets you more/faster aroused.
Physical stimulation gets you less/more slowly aroused.
Physical stimulation erection might take some time, that’s why people usually think about something sexy/erotic to get easier/faster aroused.
Body states
Sympathetic (excited) and parasympathetic (relaxed).
The sympathetic system responds when your body finds itself in a stressful situation, whether the stress is from some kind of attack or not. This system prepares us to fight the stress via increasing the level of excitement. You can experience raise in this system when you experience something bad (a mad man attacks you with a knife), when someone tells you he/she loves you (excitement), or when having sex (there is no need to explain why). The effects of activating this system are:
- Increased heart rate.
- Increased breathing speed
- Increase in alertness
- Some muscles are beginning to tense
- Increased blood supply to muscles and therefore getting them ready for action
The parasympathetic system is the opposite of the sympathetic. It raises as the sympathetic falls. The requirement for your body to get in this system is to be relaxed and calm. When this system is working the results are:
- Decreased heart rate
- Decreased breathing speed
- Relaxation
A deep state of concentration and relaxation such as meditation is the time when this system becomes the most active.
So it actually goes like this- the longer you are in relaxed mode the more you will last. The more you stay excited to faster you will blow.
Key steps to controlling Premature Ejaculation
Understand if there is a problem.
You need to admit to yourself that there is such a problem. No matter now close this is to your ego. Premature ejaculation has different definitions- some say 10 minutes after the start of sexual intercourse, some say 20 etc, but the true definition is ejaculating before YOU want. So there is no time limit- if you finish faster than you want- you have a problem, if you don’t- you have no problems. BUT, we as men want more, we want to give not only one, but more orgasms to the girl, so this is why. So there is no other person than you who can tell if there is a problem or not. So next time just think about if your girl had an orgasm or if you want her to have more (I assume everyone’s goal number one is to satisfy the girl).
Commit to learning how to improve your stamina.
Learn how to improve your stamina and concentrate on that only. Don’t learn 10 things at the same time- in order to learn something you have to concentrate on- it has to have your full attention- no other distractions. Especially something that requires some time to master- such as Premature Ejaculation.
Mental stamina improvers
Realize that you are a human being.
As such you are allowed to make mistakes. Don’t blame yourself if you ejaculate prematurely. Putting pressure on yourself will only make things worse. This will give a huge result on your mentality- making you think too much and worry too much, and as we already know- we want a clear head and a relaxed body. Putting pressure on yourself will take away one of the reasons of sex- pleasure. You are not only taking your pleasure away- but the girl’s too- would you have a really good sex with someone who does not enjoy it and worries too much during the intercourse (and it’s even harder for women). Even the best ones (and I mean the most experienced and knowledgeable ones) last 5 minutes or even less sometimes. We all have our good days and our bad days- do not forget it. Nobody is perfect. Just accept that there are going to be times when you won’t last long even if you know how to do the techniques, exercises and stuff. A very good way to avoid uncomfortable situations is to give her orgasm before sexual intercourse using oral and hand sex (keep doing it for, like, 30-40 minutes, and if you see that she just won’t orgasm- go on. But it is really important that you try to do this and devote a significant amount of time). That way she is pleasured and even if you mess up- she has had her orgasm already and it’s not that big of a deal. If she is pleasured- that’s what sex is about (excluding the evolutionary purpose of spreading your semen). Plus, after the first orgasm, she is more prone to have another one. Do a lot of foreplay, a lot. This will not only give her orgasm, but will make her even more aroused (and the more arousal- the easier it is to orgasm). This will be better covered as a technique I will mention below, but it is an amazing technique to take the pressure off of yourself.
Relaxation and Arousal
Arousal
Arousal is the most important thing when fighting with premature ejaculation. Another word for being highly aroused is being very horny. Once you learn how to fully control arousal- you can have sex for as long as you want. What you must actually be aiming for is to keep your body in a parasympathetic mode- mentally calm, with clear mind and relaxed for long periods of time throughout sex. It is not like not being aroused- you should reach a certain point and keep it there until you want to release your load. If you want to control your arousal level you must first have a good understanding on its stages. You must be in touch with yourself and know when you will ejaculate. You must know a minute or two before that (which would be level 9- the point Previous to the Point Of No Return) to try to do your best to prevent it (the PONR). This is why you should be conscious of your arousal level and rate where you are on the scale.
1- I am not aroused.
2- She looks hot, but no erection.
3- She is hot- 10-20 % turned on.
4- This is nice- 20-40% EQ.
5- This feels good- 40-60% EQ
6- Erection of 60-80% range
7- No sexual pressure, can keep fucking as much as I want (80%-100% EQ)
8- Medium intense sexual pressure.
9- Very intense sexual pressure (Previous to the Point Of no Return)
10- Blow! (The Point Of No Return)
This means that the closer you are to the 10, the worse. The optimal level everyone should be aiming at is 7. The purpose of this scale is for you to react as soon as possible when a level higher than 7 is indicated and reduce it to 7 back again. Reducing your level can be done in two ways- physical or mental. The mental technique that can be used is the relaxation method. On the other hand, you can use many of the physical methods to reduce your level- they will have the (+) mark so they are easily distinguished amongst the others.
A good way of controlling arousal and not thinking about anything sexual is thinking about your girl being satisfied. Think about the great emotions you are giving her. This might be very hard for most people, but the point of sex is enjoying it. Try thinking about the great feelings you and your girl are experiencing.
Another thing you can do is to try to think of completely nothing and fall into absolute relaxation. Everything you see is just some images put together. These images are nothing more than that and they are bound with no emotion. You feel nothing. It is only you, your breathing and the relaxing feeling you get from it. If you find yourself thinking about something- shut down. Even the positive thoughts, just like “I’m doing awesome so far, amazing”- no, that is thinking. Do it just like you brush your teeth in the morning- mechanical, bonding no thought with it. You don’t do it thinking “Damn I’m brushing my teeth so well, I am the man” (this is damn hard, but not impossible).
Everyone has his own preferences on the above mentioned and should try all of them to see which works best for him.
The more you practice and understand your body and its arousal levels the longer you will be able to last. Never think that you will perform badly, because if you do- you will. The mind has control over your body. Walk into sex with confidence. If you have had bad experience it might be really hard to have such confidence, but understand that this is something temporary- premature ejaculation will not be with you fore ever. It is just a matter of time till it gets out of the picture. Go out and destroy that p*ssy. It might be much easier if you satisfy your girl/woman with oral sex and fingering before that, cause if you ejaculate- nah, big woof. She is satisfied, you are satisfied, nothing went wrong- that is the goal of sex- everyone is satisfied. Build yourself confidence that no one can break. Even if she starts laughing if you come, you must be fully confident and not worry. But if you practice using some of these techniques- you will last. Do NOT worry.
Relaxation
1-Physical relaxation- Keep your body as relaxed as possible during sex. Be conscious of your body and how it acts- determine what are the symptoms you get when you start reaching each of the levels of arousal and fight to avoid the ones that get you into the range of 8-10. Be in control. Keep your muscles as relaxed as possible and make sure that your bodyweight does not fall on your muscles to support, take it away by propping up your bodyweight to another object, leaving zero tense on your muscles. And as mentioned above muscle tensing will get you into sympathetic mode and do you more harm than good. Meditation is a great way to get used to having your muscles relaxed. It is not something you do in a certain position- it is something you do in a position where your muscles are completely relaxed- lying on your back, sitting on a chair, it does not matter- just make sure you are in the most comfortable position for your muscles to be relaxed.
2- Mental relaxation- Some men like to use the “think about something else” method. Like bodybuilding, cars etc. This technique has a few downfalls. It takes yours and your girl’s pleasure away. If the girl knows that you think about math more than you think about her while making love/having sex, it could be a big turn off. One more reason why this technique is not so good is that avoiding thinking about something makes you think about it even more. The human brain cannot process negative thoughts. If you tell yourself not to think about the color red, it will immediately pop into your head as an image. Your brain must know what you told it not to think about. If on the other hand you think about blue, blue and blue only will be in your head, leading to no images of the color red popping in your head. This is why all “don’t think about that” techniques do not work and put further pressure on your brain. Therefore, what you should concentrate on is relaxation. Let me give you an example: as you are having sex and feel that you are above 7, the mentality you should have is “I need to relax and drop to 7” and not “I must not hit the 10”.
This is another reason why you must do meditation. It will not only get you used to be physically and mentally relaxed, but will also get all that stress out of your body, which is a must for better health and well being. 30 minute everyday sessions will help you concentrate on your relaxation (you can go for less, we are all busy, but do not let that to be an excuse). Do not forget, meditation is not some kind of fancy position you are into and some kind of trance you are into. Meditation is a state of the mind, not the body.
Stop thinking about your stamina.
Once you have mastered the above mentioned techniques- let it all go on autopilot. Stop consciously thinking about the stamina. You do not need to think about techniques to tie your shoes- you just say “Oh, I’ll tie them” and you do it. You’ll do it without realizing that you ever tried to practice these techniques. Until you master them- PRACTICE! Sex, masturbation- no matter- just do them. Once you have done them a lot of times- you stop thinking about it. Make it as mechanical as possible. Reach the state where your subconscious determines and controls your arousal level without having you to make any conscious thoughts about it.
Double the foreplay
The way this is going to help you is to make you used to being close to a female before penetration and therefore making you less excited and more relaxed. If you take your time to give more foreplay, having sex would be nowhere as exciting as if you rush into it.
Physical stamina improvers
Breathing control techniques (+)
As mentioned above (in the first post)- avoid taking short and fast breaths- you want slow and deep breathing with your diaphragm (belly)- where you see your belly expand while breathing, and not the chest. Short and fast breaths lead to faster heart beat, which leads to sympathetic response as excitement- arousal, which leads to arousal, which leads to specific hormone release, which leads to ejaculation. Deep and slow breaths (depth is not as important as the speed of the breaths) are the best to use. There are lots of techniques you can experiment with- different timing works different for different men. You may want to breathe for 6 seconds, hold your breath for 3-4 second and exhale for the same time you inhaled. Do not lose rhytHydromax of your breaths. Breathing has 2 subdivision techniques- these are the
-Breath holding- what makes this one special is that when you hold your breath and breathe slowly and deeply, you further slow down the heartbeat rhytHydromax.
-And no breath holding- what makes this one special to all that advocate it is that once you start holding your breath, it is much easier for you to start tensing your muscles.
Try both of these and choose the one you find to work better for you.
Learn the art of sex
First- learn which sex positions are good for your stamina and which are bad for your stamina.
All the positions where you are parallel to the girl are very, very bad for your stamina (such as traditional missionary)- it gives you a lot of stimulation and give the girl a little of stimulation.
Ninety degree angle positions (where she rides you (the best one- you can have all your muscles relaxed- plus you will not be required to thrust), where you are standing and have her legs on your shoulders etc), on the other side, give you less stimulation and give the girl a darn good G spot stimulation. These are the best and are the ones you should keep your aim at.
Second- learn how now to thrust. When you thrust- you give tension to your muscles you’re your breathing, which can result badly as previously discussed. So how to do sex then? You must stay relaxed and move her into you. This will give you much less stimulation. Just take her with your hands and control her motion. This is another reason why the riding position is so good- she does all the work. Since this is such a great position- you want to keep doing it as long as possible, so do it, when she gets tired, do another position and after some time- go back to the riding. One thing you can do is just grab her hips, shoulders, lower back, ass, head or wherever you want and push her towards you and then back. It’d feel the same for her- but not for you. You should have 50+% of the sexual stimulation coming from the above mentioned technique.
PC muscle use (+)
During sex keep your PC muscle relaxed. Use it if you get results from it. Everyone is different, but usually most men tend to ejaculate faster when flexing their PC during sexual intercourse. Experiment with kegels/ reverse kegels throughout sex. Exercise these muscles! Developing strong PC muscles via kegeling/reverse kegeling will not only help you last longer, but will make your erections harder, your orgasms better, make the refraction period less, but it will also be helpful with prostate and peeing as getting older.
Kegels:
Kegels are very important but for most men, their importance is out of the bed- where you train them and get your muscle stronger, strengthening your erections and providing a good prostate health. In bed, however, these are one of the worst things you can do- they get your “G spot” – the prostate closer to your penis and therefore add to the stimulation significantly. Keep your PC out of kegels when having sex- keep it as relaxed as possible. A good exercise for keeping the PC relaxed is to have your edging session on very arousing �naked people movies�. This can get you to have much better control over your Pelvic floor!
Reverse kegels:
Reverse kegels are one of the most effective techniques you can you do make yourself last longer. They are best used to get you to a smaller level of sexual arousal. Doing them throughout whole sexual intercourse can make your stamina enormously big. They distance further your penis and prostate and are a marvelous technique to lower your arousal level.
Edging
Edging is maintaining a high level of arousal while delaying ejaculation. It is also known as the stop-start technique. It is really important that every edging session lasts no less than 40 minutes. That will help you reprogram your body to last longer. It is vital important to edge for a log time and practice all of the above and below mentioned techniques- this will develop you a technique you can confidently use in bed. While doing your edging sessions- make sure you don’t cum very often- this is a miraculous method to reprogramming your mind into not having the urge to cum quickly after the start of the sexual intercourse/edging session. If you want to further upgrade- get a FleshLight and start putting muscle tension and sex positions to mimic the act of sex as much as you can. There are many different ways you can edge, but if your purpose is to reprogram your mind into getting used to lasting long and stop having the bad old sexual habits making you have the urge to cum as quickly as possible, this would be your best choice. It advocates that you should slow down the pace of your hand (FleshLight)/ decrease the grip intensity to reduce stimulation and get you down the scale if you go above 7.
Some useful techniques that you may want to try.
Extra condoms
Another thing you can do is to put a condom (or two). While this might make sex less satisfying, it can give you some extra minutes. Since the pleasure will be less you will not ejaculate that early. This will only work if you are physically sensitive. If you have any mental sensitivity- it might not work at all, if it does- it’ll be insignificant. Be careful what condoms you are using- if the condoms are extra tight this can lower your erection.
Blowing a nut before sex
This is a good technique. If you blow a nut before sex you are more likely to be calm and not have a bad mental state (when you relate everything to sex). Your level to arousal is less likely to hit the roof, but if it does- it will happen significantly slower, which can give you some extra minutes.
Changing positions often (+)
When you change positions you stop sexual intercourse for a few seconds. This not only gives you an opportunity to take a few good deep breaths and lower your arousal, but you can do a kegel/reverse kegel (if you find it helpful- everyone is different) meanwhile.
Use creams, sprays and supplements
This is always an option. I do not recommend it because you must learn how to last longer yourself. You can’t always rely on a cream, spray or a supplement- what happens if your girl/wife wants to have sex and your “equipment” is nowhere near you or you forgot to buy some? If you teach yourself to last longer you’ll be able to do it whenever you want and you yourself will be the only thing you will rely on. Your body might get adapted to these and they might stop working for you if you use them too often. But I think that it’s ok to use such stuff the first few times so you get less excited about having sex when you stop using them. Be picky when you choose such stuff- some products might be ineffective and do you more harm than good.
Injaculation (+)
This technique relies on pushing the semen back. It goes like this:
When you feel ejaculation is coming, press on the perineum- PC muscle (located between the scrotum and the anus). This will stop ejaculation because this spot reaches through the prostate gland. It is the prostate that contracts and expands during orgasm and then expels the ejaculation fluid. The semen is pushed back into your bladder, which prolongs orgasm. I myself haven’t tried this technique, nor do I recommend it. It is said to be dangerous. It is better to ejaculate prematurely than damaging yourself seriously.
Testes pulling (+)
When a man nears orgasm his testes rise up closer to his body. You can delay ejaculation by GENTLY pulling your testes down and away from your body. This is another technique I myself have not used. Use it if you like, but keep in mind that you can damage yourself. This technique might damage you seriously as well. It is not advisable to do this.
Penis squeezes (+)
This technique is all about having sex until you feel your ejaculation is a few seconds away. Stop other stimulation and gently squeeze your thumb and forefinger around the part of the penis where the penis meets the shaft. After squeezing for a few seconds stop all stimulation for around a minute. This technique can be applied by squeezing the base( the beginning of the shaft).
See a doctor
Do not be ashamed to visit the doctor’s office. I would advise you to try and master the techniques above (not recommended the dangerous ones) and then pay a visit to the doctors office. But it is your choice. It is good to know everything down there is ok. Plus, if you have some problem, it is always best to cure it before it gets serious. But even if it does get serious- make sure to cure it as soon as possible.
See a professional
When talking about professionals- sex therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists come into play. Every single one of them can help you, giving you some helpful advices on how to improve your mentality or telling you some techniques you can try to improve.
Drink technique
Some men like to drink alcohol before sex. Drinking has two functions that one can benefit from. One is a mental benefit- it releases stress. You get less excited and your arousal level doesn’t hit the max (or near it). The other benefit is physical- the body gets less sensitive. If physical stimulation is your problem- that is a solution. Some men even find it hard to get an erection (or maintain it) when drunk.
The completely stop technique (+)
Another thing you can do is stop. When you feel you are too close to orgasm just stop, take your breath for about a minute and continue. That would be very awkward during sex, but meanwhile you can do some fingering or oral sex.
The slow down technique (+)
Slowing down the speed of the thrusts is always an option. If you start getting the feeling that you need to drop your arousal level- this is a really good method you should keep in mind. Even if she wants you to go faster, she would prefer having sex for a longer period of time instead of having you thrust fast for a few more seconds and blow your load.
Double your foreplay
Since the definition of Premature Ejaculation is blowing a nut before you want to (before the female is pleased), by making her ejaculate much faster (she gets very aroused from the stimulation and the more aroused she is, the faster she will cum), you take most of the chances for you to finish before her away.
Stop watching �naked people movies�
Once you stop watching �naked people movies� you will greatly reduce your excitement levels. Your thoughts will become much clearer and less prone to self pleasure fast. I don’t have a lot of information given on this one, but I am confident enough to include it in the list based on mine and other people’s experience.
Mind manipulation
This is the strongest and hardest technique of all. What it advocates is to implant deep in your mind that you will do great. The human brain has limitless power. It has control over every single cell in your body. Before there were medicines and pharmacies- people had to cure somehow. There is a small percentage of people that could manipulate their minds, implanting and subconsciously inducing the thoughts of health. Even processes such as aging can be dramatically slowed down if you have the mind manipulation ability (I believe anyone can do it through a lot of practice and hard work). Once you can manipulate this limitless power to convince yourself that you will do great, controlling your ejaculation will be really easy.
Make sure to read through all the information above to understand the exercises and the steps more accurately.
Workout premature ejaculation stopping program includes edging combined with:
-a- The stop watching �naked people movies� technique
-b- Physical erection technique
-c- Sexual jujitsu
-d- Breathing
-e- Arousal and Relaxation methods
-f- Reverse kegeling
-g- Kegeling
-h- The slow down technique
-I- The completely stop technique
Things to do long before sex:
-1 Understand if there is a problem
-2 Commit to improving your stamina
-3 Stop watching �naked people movies�
-4 See a doctor
-5 See a professional
-6 Learn the art of sex
-7 Mind manipulation
Things to do before sexual intercourse:
-8 Mind manipulation technique
-9 Realize that you’re a human being
-10 Use creams sprays and supplements
-11 Get drunk
-12 Blow a nut
-13 Get a physical stimulation erection
-14 Put on a condom
-15 Double your foreplay
Things to do during sexual intercourse:
-16 Apply the art of sex
-17 Mind manipulation
-18 Breathing control techniques
-19 Arousal and relaxation techniques
-20 Reverse Kegel
-21 The slow down technique
-22 The completely stop technique
-23 Changing positions often
-24 Penis squeezes
-25Testes pulling
-26 Injaculation
-27 Kegel
Things to do after sex:
-28 Realize that you’re a human being
-29 Mind manipulation technique
-30 Stop thinking about your stamina
Below are the ones that need further explanation than reading the above written methods
c- Start off with no body tension and hand activity. Afterward upgrade and add muscle movement and tension to your masturbation
g- Make sure not to kegel. Kegel only if this is part of your technique into dropping your arousal level to 7.
9- Take the pressure off of yourself
14- Or an additional condom
This is it folks. If you think there is something I missed to cover and did not mention, or you find the information here inaccurate- please do post. Give your comments, critiques, share your methods and techniques (How you control your arousal, which positions you find yourself most comfortable for lasting, what breathing methods and techniques you use- how much time do you inhale, exhale do you hold your breath, what edging techniques you use- how you edge- do you wait to flex PC or do you stop a minute( or how much time) before that, how long do you edge personally, give feedback if you did squeezes, this is very important- what kegeling/reverse kegeling techniques you use throughout the sexual intercourse and when, and if there is something that you do/use that is not mentioned here- please share). I truly believe that if everyone shares information- the world will be a much happier place!
Edit: I can see a did a few spelling/grammar mistakes, but if I correct them all- that would take another 4 days.
Basic knowledge on Premature Ejaculation
What is premature ejaculation?
-It is blowing a nut before you want to. There is no such thing as having or being sick from premature ejaculation- it is nothing more than your own opinion whether you have it or not, which can be changed/influenced.
Why is there such thing as premature ejaculation?
-The reason men are used to ejaculating fast is because throughout the evolutionary process, the time when they had their guard off had to be minimized due to the vulnerability. They could be attacked any moment. That is how the body adapted to prevent stealth attacks.
-Another reason for this is bad masturbation habits. Most (if not all) teens want to blow as soon as possible when masturbating (they intentionally use mental control to get themselves more/faster aroused). Whether it is because they fear they can be caught any moment or because they just want to feel good and don’t like waiting. This reprograms their bodies to be used to blowing as fast as possible. But in sex there is more than 1 person who wants to feel satisfied, so this is not a good way of thinking.
Ejaculation response triggers
There are two things that can actually trigger you ejaculation response:
- Physical sensitivity- when even though your mental state is perfect for long lasting (when you have no erotic/sexual related thoughts) sex- you find it hard to last long.
- Mental sensitivity- when even though your physical state is perfect for long lasting (when your penis itself is not that sensitive to stimulation) sex- you find it hard to last long.
Erection
There are 2 types of erection that a man can get.
- The first one is physical stimulation and no (or minimum) mental stimulation.
- The second one is mental stimulation with no (or minimum) physical stimulation.
There is a combination of these two also- Combining physical (playing with yourself) and mental (having erotic thoughts) stimulation.
Mental stimulation gets you more/faster aroused.
Physical stimulation gets you less/more slowly aroused.
Physical stimulation erection might take some time, that’s why people usually think about something sexy/erotic to get easier/faster aroused.
Body states
Sympathetic (excited) and parasympathetic (relaxed).
The sympathetic system responds when your body finds itself in a stressful situation, whether the stress is from some kind of attack or not. This system prepares us to fight the stress via increasing the level of excitement. You can experience raise in this system when you experience something bad (a mad man attacks you with a knife), when someone tells you he/she loves you (excitement), or when having sex (there is no need to explain why). The effects of activating this system are:
- Increased heart rate.
- Increased breathing speed
- Increase in alertness
- Some muscles are beginning to tense
- Increased blood supply to muscles and therefore getting them ready for action
The parasympathetic system is the opposite of the sympathetic. It raises as the sympathetic falls. The requirement for your body to get in this system is to be relaxed and calm. When this system is working the results are:
- Decreased heart rate
- Decreased breathing speed
- Relaxation
A deep state of concentration and relaxation such as meditation is the time when this system becomes the most active.
So it actually goes like this- the longer you are in relaxed mode the more you will last. The more you stay excited to faster you will blow.
Key steps to controlling Premature Ejaculation
Understand if there is a problem.
You need to admit to yourself that there is such a problem. No matter now close this is to your ego. Premature ejaculation has different definitions- some say 10 minutes after the start of sexual intercourse, some say 20 etc, but the true definition is ejaculating before YOU want. So there is no time limit- if you finish faster than you want- you have a problem, if you don’t- you have no problems. BUT, we as men want more, we want to give not only one, but more orgasms to the girl, so this is why. So there is no other person than you who can tell if there is a problem or not. So next time just think about if your girl had an orgasm or if you want her to have more (I assume everyone’s goal number one is to satisfy the girl).
Commit to learning how to improve your stamina.
Learn how to improve your stamina and concentrate on that only. Don’t learn 10 things at the same time- in order to learn something you have to concentrate on- it has to have your full attention- no other distractions. Especially something that requires some time to master- such as Premature Ejaculation.
Mental stamina improvers
Realize that you are a human being.
As such you are allowed to make mistakes. Don’t blame yourself if you ejaculate prematurely. Putting pressure on yourself will only make things worse. This will give a huge result on your mentality- making you think too much and worry too much, and as we already know- we want a clear head and a relaxed body. Putting pressure on yourself will take away one of the reasons of sex- pleasure. You are not only taking your pleasure away- but the girl’s too- would you have a really good sex with someone who does not enjoy it and worries too much during the intercourse (and it’s even harder for women). Even the best ones (and I mean the most experienced and knowledgeable ones) last 5 minutes or even less sometimes. We all have our good days and our bad days- do not forget it. Nobody is perfect. Just accept that there are going to be times when you won’t last long even if you know how to do the techniques, exercises and stuff. A very good way to avoid uncomfortable situations is to give her orgasm before sexual intercourse using oral and hand sex (keep doing it for, like, 30-40 minutes, and if you see that she just won’t orgasm- go on. But it is really important that you try to do this and devote a significant amount of time). That way she is pleasured and even if you mess up- she has had her orgasm already and it’s not that big of a deal. If she is pleasured- that’s what sex is about (excluding the evolutionary purpose of spreading your semen). Plus, after the first orgasm, she is more prone to have another one. Do a lot of foreplay, a lot. This will not only give her orgasm, but will make her even more aroused (and the more arousal- the easier it is to orgasm). This will be better covered as a technique I will mention below, but it is an amazing technique to take the pressure off of yourself.
Relaxation and Arousal
Arousal
Arousal is the most important thing when fighting with premature ejaculation. Another word for being highly aroused is being very horny. Once you learn how to fully control arousal- you can have sex for as long as you want. What you must actually be aiming for is to keep your body in a parasympathetic mode- mentally calm, with clear mind and relaxed for long periods of time throughout sex. It is not like not being aroused- you should reach a certain point and keep it there until you want to release your load. If you want to control your arousal level you must first have a good understanding on its stages. You must be in touch with yourself and know when you will ejaculate. You must know a minute or two before that (which would be level 9- the point Previous to the Point Of No Return) to try to do your best to prevent it (the PONR). This is why you should be conscious of your arousal level and rate where you are on the scale.
1- I am not aroused.
2- She looks hot, but no erection.
3- She is hot- 10-20 % turned on.
4- This is nice- 20-40% EQ.
5- This feels good- 40-60% EQ
6- Erection of 60-80% range
7- No sexual pressure, can keep fucking as much as I want (80%-100% EQ)
8- Medium intense sexual pressure.
9- Very intense sexual pressure (Previous to the Point Of no Return)
10- Blow! (The Point Of No Return)
This means that the closer you are to the 10, the worse. The optimal level everyone should be aiming at is 7. The purpose of this scale is for you to react as soon as possible when a level higher than 7 is indicated and reduce it to 7 back again. Reducing your level can be done in two ways- physical or mental. The mental technique that can be used is the relaxation method. On the other hand, you can use many of the physical methods to reduce your level- they will have the (+) mark so they are easily distinguished amongst the others.
A good way of controlling arousal and not thinking about anything sexual is thinking about your girl being satisfied. Think about the great emotions you are giving her. This might be very hard for most people, but the point of sex is enjoying it. Try thinking about the great feelings you and your girl are experiencing.
Another thing you can do is to try to think of completely nothing and fall into absolute relaxation. Everything you see is just some images put together. These images are nothing more than that and they are bound with no emotion. You feel nothing. It is only you, your breathing and the relaxing feeling you get from it. If you find yourself thinking about something- shut down. Even the positive thoughts, just like “I’m doing awesome so far, amazing”- no, that is thinking. Do it just like you brush your teeth in the morning- mechanical, bonding no thought with it. You don’t do it thinking “Damn I’m brushing my teeth so well, I am the man” (this is damn hard, but not impossible).
Everyone has his own preferences on the above mentioned and should try all of them to see which works best for him.
The more you practice and understand your body and its arousal levels the longer you will be able to last. Never think that you will perform badly, because if you do- you will. The mind has control over your body. Walk into sex with confidence. If you have had bad experience it might be really hard to have such confidence, but understand that this is something temporary- premature ejaculation will not be with you fore ever. It is just a matter of time till it gets out of the picture. Go out and destroy that p*ssy. It might be much easier if you satisfy your girl/woman with oral sex and fingering before that, cause if you ejaculate- nah, big woof. She is satisfied, you are satisfied, nothing went wrong- that is the goal of sex- everyone is satisfied. Build yourself confidence that no one can break. Even if she starts laughing if you come, you must be fully confident and not worry. But if you practice using some of these techniques- you will last. Do NOT worry.
Relaxation
1-Physical relaxation- Keep your body as relaxed as possible during sex. Be conscious of your body and how it acts- determine what are the symptoms you get when you start reaching each of the levels of arousal and fight to avoid the ones that get you into the range of 8-10. Be in control. Keep your muscles as relaxed as possible and make sure that your bodyweight does not fall on your muscles to support, take it away by propping up your bodyweight to another object, leaving zero tense on your muscles. And as mentioned above muscle tensing will get you into sympathetic mode and do you more harm than good. Meditation is a great way to get used to having your muscles relaxed. It is not something you do in a certain position- it is something you do in a position where your muscles are completely relaxed- lying on your back, sitting on a chair, it does not matter- just make sure you are in the most comfortable position for your muscles to be relaxed.
2- Mental relaxation- Some men like to use the “think about something else” method. Like bodybuilding, cars etc. This technique has a few downfalls. It takes yours and your girl’s pleasure away. If the girl knows that you think about math more than you think about her while making love/having sex, it could be a big turn off. One more reason why this technique is not so good is that avoiding thinking about something makes you think about it even more. The human brain cannot process negative thoughts. If you tell yourself not to think about the color red, it will immediately pop into your head as an image. Your brain must know what you told it not to think about. If on the other hand you think about blue, blue and blue only will be in your head, leading to no images of the color red popping in your head. This is why all “don’t think about that” techniques do not work and put further pressure on your brain. Therefore, what you should concentrate on is relaxation. Let me give you an example: as you are having sex and feel that you are above 7, the mentality you should have is “I need to relax and drop to 7” and not “I must not hit the 10”.
This is another reason why you must do meditation. It will not only get you used to be physically and mentally relaxed, but will also get all that stress out of your body, which is a must for better health and well being. 30 minute everyday sessions will help you concentrate on your relaxation (you can go for less, we are all busy, but do not let that to be an excuse). Do not forget, meditation is not some kind of fancy position you are into and some kind of trance you are into. Meditation is a state of the mind, not the body.
Stop thinking about your stamina.
Once you have mastered the above mentioned techniques- let it all go on autopilot. Stop consciously thinking about the stamina. You do not need to think about techniques to tie your shoes- you just say “Oh, I’ll tie them” and you do it. You’ll do it without realizing that you ever tried to practice these techniques. Until you master them- PRACTICE! Sex, masturbation- no matter- just do them. Once you have done them a lot of times- you stop thinking about it. Make it as mechanical as possible. Reach the state where your subconscious determines and controls your arousal level without having you to make any conscious thoughts about it.
Double the foreplay
The way this is going to help you is to make you used to being close to a female before penetration and therefore making you less excited and more relaxed. If you take your time to give more foreplay, having sex would be nowhere as exciting as if you rush into it.
Physical stamina improvers
Breathing control techniques (+)
As mentioned above (in the first post)- avoid taking short and fast breaths- you want slow and deep breathing with your diaphragm (belly)- where you see your belly expand while breathing, and not the chest. Short and fast breaths lead to faster heart beat, which leads to sympathetic response as excitement- arousal, which leads to arousal, which leads to specific hormone release, which leads to ejaculation. Deep and slow breaths (depth is not as important as the speed of the breaths) are the best to use. There are lots of techniques you can experiment with- different timing works different for different men. You may want to breathe for 6 seconds, hold your breath for 3-4 second and exhale for the same time you inhaled. Do not lose rhytHydromax of your breaths. Breathing has 2 subdivision techniques- these are the
-Breath holding- what makes this one special is that when you hold your breath and breathe slowly and deeply, you further slow down the heartbeat rhytHydromax.
-And no breath holding- what makes this one special to all that advocate it is that once you start holding your breath, it is much easier for you to start tensing your muscles.
Try both of these and choose the one you find to work better for you.
Learn the art of sex
First- learn which sex positions are good for your stamina and which are bad for your stamina.
All the positions where you are parallel to the girl are very, very bad for your stamina (such as traditional missionary)- it gives you a lot of stimulation and give the girl a little of stimulation.
Ninety degree angle positions (where she rides you (the best one- you can have all your muscles relaxed- plus you will not be required to thrust), where you are standing and have her legs on your shoulders etc), on the other side, give you less stimulation and give the girl a darn good G spot stimulation. These are the best and are the ones you should keep your aim at.
Second- learn how now to thrust. When you thrust- you give tension to your muscles you’re your breathing, which can result badly as previously discussed. So how to do sex then? You must stay relaxed and move her into you. This will give you much less stimulation. Just take her with your hands and control her motion. This is another reason why the riding position is so good- she does all the work. Since this is such a great position- you want to keep doing it as long as possible, so do it, when she gets tired, do another position and after some time- go back to the riding. One thing you can do is just grab her hips, shoulders, lower back, ass, head or wherever you want and push her towards you and then back. It’d feel the same for her- but not for you. You should have 50+% of the sexual stimulation coming from the above mentioned technique.
PC muscle use (+)
During sex keep your PC muscle relaxed. Use it if you get results from it. Everyone is different, but usually most men tend to ejaculate faster when flexing their PC during sexual intercourse. Experiment with kegels/ reverse kegels throughout sex. Exercise these muscles! Developing strong PC muscles via kegeling/reverse kegeling will not only help you last longer, but will make your erections harder, your orgasms better, make the refraction period less, but it will also be helpful with prostate and peeing as getting older.
Kegels:
Kegels are very important but for most men, their importance is out of the bed- where you train them and get your muscle stronger, strengthening your erections and providing a good prostate health. In bed, however, these are one of the worst things you can do- they get your “G spot” – the prostate closer to your penis and therefore add to the stimulation significantly. Keep your PC out of kegels when having sex- keep it as relaxed as possible. A good exercise for keeping the PC relaxed is to have your edging session on very arousing �naked people movies�. This can get you to have much better control over your Pelvic floor!
Reverse kegels:
Reverse kegels are one of the most effective techniques you can you do make yourself last longer. They are best used to get you to a smaller level of sexual arousal. Doing them throughout whole sexual intercourse can make your stamina enormously big. They distance further your penis and prostate and are a marvelous technique to lower your arousal level.
Edging
Edging is maintaining a high level of arousal while delaying ejaculation. It is also known as the stop-start technique. It is really important that every edging session lasts no less than 40 minutes. That will help you reprogram your body to last longer. It is vital important to edge for a log time and practice all of the above and below mentioned techniques- this will develop you a technique you can confidently use in bed. While doing your edging sessions- make sure you don’t cum very often- this is a miraculous method to reprogramming your mind into not having the urge to cum quickly after the start of the sexual intercourse/edging session. If you want to further upgrade- get a FleshLight and start putting muscle tension and sex positions to mimic the act of sex as much as you can. There are many different ways you can edge, but if your purpose is to reprogram your mind into getting used to lasting long and stop having the bad old sexual habits making you have the urge to cum as quickly as possible, this would be your best choice. It advocates that you should slow down the pace of your hand (FleshLight)/ decrease the grip intensity to reduce stimulation and get you down the scale if you go above 7.
Some useful techniques that you may want to try.
Extra condoms
Another thing you can do is to put a condom (or two). While this might make sex less satisfying, it can give you some extra minutes. Since the pleasure will be less you will not ejaculate that early. This will only work if you are physically sensitive. If you have any mental sensitivity- it might not work at all, if it does- it’ll be insignificant. Be careful what condoms you are using- if the condoms are extra tight this can lower your erection.
Blowing a nut before sex
This is a good technique. If you blow a nut before sex you are more likely to be calm and not have a bad mental state (when you relate everything to sex). Your level to arousal is less likely to hit the roof, but if it does- it will happen significantly slower, which can give you some extra minutes.
Changing positions often (+)
When you change positions you stop sexual intercourse for a few seconds. This not only gives you an opportunity to take a few good deep breaths and lower your arousal, but you can do a kegel/reverse kegel (if you find it helpful- everyone is different) meanwhile.
Use creams, sprays and supplements
This is always an option. I do not recommend it because you must learn how to last longer yourself. You can’t always rely on a cream, spray or a supplement- what happens if your girl/wife wants to have sex and your “equipment” is nowhere near you or you forgot to buy some? If you teach yourself to last longer you’ll be able to do it whenever you want and you yourself will be the only thing you will rely on. Your body might get adapted to these and they might stop working for you if you use them too often. But I think that it’s ok to use such stuff the first few times so you get less excited about having sex when you stop using them. Be picky when you choose such stuff- some products might be ineffective and do you more harm than good.
Injaculation (+)
This technique relies on pushing the semen back. It goes like this:
When you feel ejaculation is coming, press on the perineum- PC muscle (located between the scrotum and the anus). This will stop ejaculation because this spot reaches through the prostate gland. It is the prostate that contracts and expands during orgasm and then expels the ejaculation fluid. The semen is pushed back into your bladder, which prolongs orgasm. I myself haven’t tried this technique, nor do I recommend it. It is said to be dangerous. It is better to ejaculate prematurely than damaging yourself seriously.
Testes pulling (+)
When a man nears orgasm his testes rise up closer to his body. You can delay ejaculation by GENTLY pulling your testes down and away from your body. This is another technique I myself have not used. Use it if you like, but keep in mind that you can damage yourself. This technique might damage you seriously as well. It is not advisable to do this.
Penis squeezes (+)
This technique is all about having sex until you feel your ejaculation is a few seconds away. Stop other stimulation and gently squeeze your thumb and forefinger around the part of the penis where the penis meets the shaft. After squeezing for a few seconds stop all stimulation for around a minute. This technique can be applied by squeezing the base( the beginning of the shaft).
See a doctor
Do not be ashamed to visit the doctor’s office. I would advise you to try and master the techniques above (not recommended the dangerous ones) and then pay a visit to the doctors office. But it is your choice. It is good to know everything down there is ok. Plus, if you have some problem, it is always best to cure it before it gets serious. But even if it does get serious- make sure to cure it as soon as possible.
See a professional
When talking about professionals- sex therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists come into play. Every single one of them can help you, giving you some helpful advices on how to improve your mentality or telling you some techniques you can try to improve.
Drink technique
Some men like to drink alcohol before sex. Drinking has two functions that one can benefit from. One is a mental benefit- it releases stress. You get less excited and your arousal level doesn’t hit the max (or near it). The other benefit is physical- the body gets less sensitive. If physical stimulation is your problem- that is a solution. Some men even find it hard to get an erection (or maintain it) when drunk.
The completely stop technique (+)
Another thing you can do is stop. When you feel you are too close to orgasm just stop, take your breath for about a minute and continue. That would be very awkward during sex, but meanwhile you can do some fingering or oral sex.
The slow down technique (+)
Slowing down the speed of the thrusts is always an option. If you start getting the feeling that you need to drop your arousal level- this is a really good method you should keep in mind. Even if she wants you to go faster, she would prefer having sex for a longer period of time instead of having you thrust fast for a few more seconds and blow your load.
Double your foreplay
Since the definition of Premature Ejaculation is blowing a nut before you want to (before the female is pleased), by making her ejaculate much faster (she gets very aroused from the stimulation and the more aroused she is, the faster she will cum), you take most of the chances for you to finish before her away.
Stop watching �naked people movies�
Once you stop watching �naked people movies� you will greatly reduce your excitement levels. Your thoughts will become much clearer and less prone to self pleasure fast. I don’t have a lot of information given on this one, but I am confident enough to include it in the list based on mine and other people’s experience.
Mind manipulation
This is the strongest and hardest technique of all. What it advocates is to implant deep in your mind that you will do great. The human brain has limitless power. It has control over every single cell in your body. Before there were medicines and pharmacies- people had to cure somehow. There is a small percentage of people that could manipulate their minds, implanting and subconsciously inducing the thoughts of health. Even processes such as aging can be dramatically slowed down if you have the mind manipulation ability (I believe anyone can do it through a lot of practice and hard work). Once you can manipulate this limitless power to convince yourself that you will do great, controlling your ejaculation will be really easy.
Make sure to read through all the information above to understand the exercises and the steps more accurately.
Workout premature ejaculation stopping program includes edging combined with:
-a- The stop watching �naked people movies� technique
-b- Physical erection technique
-c- Sexual jujitsu
-d- Breathing
-e- Arousal and Relaxation methods
-f- Reverse kegeling
-g- Kegeling
-h- The slow down technique
-I- The completely stop technique
Things to do long before sex:
-1 Understand if there is a problem
-2 Commit to improving your stamina
-3 Stop watching �naked people movies�
-4 See a doctor
-5 See a professional
-6 Learn the art of sex
-7 Mind manipulation
Things to do before sexual intercourse:
-8 Mind manipulation technique
-9 Realize that you’re a human being
-10 Use creams sprays and supplements
-11 Get drunk
-12 Blow a nut
-13 Get a physical stimulation erection
-14 Put on a condom
-15 Double your foreplay
Things to do during sexual intercourse:
-16 Apply the art of sex
-17 Mind manipulation
-18 Breathing control techniques
-19 Arousal and relaxation techniques
-20 Reverse Kegel
-21 The slow down technique
-22 The completely stop technique
-23 Changing positions often
-24 Penis squeezes
-25Testes pulling
-26 Injaculation
-27 Kegel
Things to do after sex:
-28 Realize that you’re a human being
-29 Mind manipulation technique
-30 Stop thinking about your stamina
Below are the ones that need further explanation than reading the above written methods
c- Start off with no body tension and hand activity. Afterward upgrade and add muscle movement and tension to your masturbation
g- Make sure not to kegel. Kegel only if this is part of your technique into dropping your arousal level to 7.
9- Take the pressure off of yourself
14- Or an additional condom
This is it folks. If you think there is something I missed to cover and did not mention, or you find the information here inaccurate- please do post. Give your comments, critiques, share your methods and techniques (How you control your arousal, which positions you find yourself most comfortable for lasting, what breathing methods and techniques you use- how much time do you inhale, exhale do you hold your breath, what edging techniques you use- how you edge- do you wait to flex PC or do you stop a minute( or how much time) before that, how long do you edge personally, give feedback if you did squeezes, this is very important- what kegeling/reverse kegeling techniques you use throughout the sexual intercourse and when, and if there is something that you do/use that is not mentioned here- please share). I truly believe that if everyone shares information- the world will be a much happier place!
Edit: I can see a did a few spelling/grammar mistakes, but if I correct them all- that would take another 4 days.
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