DLD's Lazy Ass Stretches

[DLD]

LAZY ASS STRETCHES
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I spend the majority of my day in front of my computer in a private office so this stretch is ideal for me...it is also good for those who have a driving job or a semi-private work and/or home environment. I wear warmup pant exclusively to work...The kind that button up the sides to give me easy access to my stuff. In a standing position I grab my penis from the back by the glans and stretch it as far as I can to the extreme right...once I am sure of the stretch being very stong I sit on my penis with the right butt cheek...once in seated position with a simple adjustment in seating angle the stretch can be intensified to varying tighness. I sit with my penis to the right for about 15 minutes...undo the stretch and return good circulation then set it up to the left. If time allows I do these for 2+ hours. I also found these to be a very good pre-cursor to Blasters.

 

[samzman]

haha that's bad ass i usually spend most of my nights on the couch this will help me lol

 

[Super]

This is the the the Best ever

 

[Dario]

I just wish I could wear warm-up pants to work. <

 

[Super]

DLD you dont have private office you jack ass!!! ROFLAMO

 

[bigbutnottoo]

I do this at home but I really dont know how to do this driving. I dont have a private garage- so where the hell am I supposed to standup grab my dick and pull it behind when I am in a car?

 

[Super]

Supra's Steps to lazy ass in the car

1. Put on the cruse control
2. Use your knee to steer the wheel if you have to
3. Right hand goes oneder your right leg and graps the penis and then pull it back and sti on it

 

[DLD]

Supra's Steps to lazy ass in the car

1. Put on the cruse control
2. Use your knee to steer the wheel if you have to
3. Right hand goes oneder your right leg and graps the penis and then pull it back and sti on it

I used to do these everyday when I worked for my Father. On the way to work and on the way home.

 

[crazyed27]

I used to do these everyday when I worked for my Father. On the way to work and on the way home.

I can just see it now on the 5:00 news "Man in head on collision, found dead, for some unknown reason he had his buttons of his right pant leg unbottoned and was found sitting on his penis, with his hand gripped tightley around it!" rofl

 

[bgrand]

Supra's Steps to lazy ass in the car

1. Put on the cruse control
2. Use your knee to steer the wheel if you have to
3. Right hand goes oneder your right leg and graps the penis and then pull it back and sti on it

Hey Supra-man, don't you think it might be safer to
do this at a red light? ;-)

bgrand

 

[Super]

Yea I do that as well

 

[xtremegamer]

I am having trouble getting my ass/leg to grip the penis, how do you keep it from sliding out?

 

[Super]

Use [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?44-Ace-Strapped-Jims-Joint]ace[/words] wrap

 

[Super]

These Rock!

 

[Super]

Lazy ass Stretching for lazy ass People like "DLD and SWM"

 

[LeeJunFan]

How many un-cut guys are doing these?

 

[DLD]

If nothing else this thread getting bumped all the time gets me to do these more often.

 

[wants9]

If nothing else this thread getting bumped all the time gets me to do these more often.

About how many of these do you usually get in a day, DLD?

 

[DLD]

About how many of these do you usually get in a day, DLD?

Depends on how much I'm sitting. Today I already got 2 hours under my belt...or butt

 

[Super]

IM doing them right now!

 

[wants9]

Depends on how much I'm sitting. Today I already got 2 hours under my belt...or butt

lol

 

[swedeguy]

Hm, I've tried them but somehow it just feels like I'm stretching the skin at the base of my penis, not the ligs...

 

[Super]

Really pull hard then, when at your maximum stretch, sit on it

 

[DLD]

Really pull hard then, when at your maximum stretch, sit on it

You can also adjust the tension once in this position by simply shifting you pelvic position.

 

[wants9]

You can also adjust the tension once in this position by simply shifting you pelvic position.

I've also found that rolling your thigh one way or the other (presuming your penis is under your leg) has a similar effect.

 

[DLD]

I've also found that rolling your thigh one way or the other (presuming your penis is under your leg) has a similar effect.

Yes it does.

 

[Super]

Man these really rock!

 

[Super]

Do this Exercise if you want to gain for Gods Sake!!!

 

[!DUDE]

:driving: LOL!!!!
good fuckin question

 

[DLD]

:driving: LOL!!!!
good fuckin question

What question?

 

[twins172_up]

What question?

that was the same thing i was wondering? i think he might have read the statement wrong.

 

[badtacco]

...

 

[DLD]

...im sitting on my balls

Pull them to the front. If your scrotum does not stretch enough to pull to the front rock the TESTICLE HEALTH MASSAGE found in this routine and you will quickly be able to get into this position.

 

[ocd]

One more thing on these excellent stretches.


If you find you are slipping somewhat, dust your cock with baby powder, pull back and have a seat. I don't notice a good lig pull for the first 20 minutes but after that...so far so great. What a pull.

Thanks DLD


PS Sorry for having so much enthusiasm but this stuff is actually working and effecting my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[DLD]

PS Sorry for having so much enthusiasm but this stuff is actually working and effecting my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Penis Enlargement is a beautiful thing, celebrate it! No apologies necessary

 

[insearchof9inch]

I found that they produce much more tension if I lean my upper body backwards. This is good stuff!

It did mostly feel like I was just stretching the skin at the base, but I just need to up the intensity.

 

[flooman]

Are the gains earned from this exercise permanent?

 

[DLD]

Are the gains earned from this exercise permanent?

Yes, you will make permanent length gains from this exercise. It will also allow your flaccid hang to be closer to your erect length.

 

[flooman]

Jesus, this is some intense shit, can't do it more than once each side!

 

[AdmiralLongDong]

All right... Everyones so excited about these, I gotta figure this shit out.

Hell, I'm still trying to get my jelq to work right.

 

[DLD]

All right... Everyones so excited about these, I gotta figure this shit out.

Hell, I'm still trying to get my jelq to work right.

It is a very simple but effective exercise. When I was doing these everyday my flaccid was always very close to my erect size.

 

[tripod808]

These stretches are probably the single most reason that my flacid hang has increased by 4" or so. I found them to be effective with some blood in the penis, but not a full blown erection. It sits in the valley that is your ass crack, and constricts blood from leaving.

I however used to do them full flacid, which I do not recommend, because it greatly increased the amount of skin that I had on my penis.

 

[B1ggusDickus]

Just tried this for the first time! I read the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?44-Ace-Strapped-Jims-Joint]ace bandage[/words] application, and lazy ass stretch was a way to promote more flaccid hang. I think this is one of the main reason's I'm doing Penis Enlargement right now so I will continue this. Definitly feel a nice stretch, and it's easy as hell! Perfect for a lazy sob like me! :-D

 

[REDZULU2003]

Blue_Whales variation of this stretch can be found here

 

[DLD]

Just tried this for the first time! I read the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?44-Ace-Strapped-Jims-Joint]ace bandage[/words] application, and lazy ass stretch was a way to promote more flaccid hang. I think this is one of the main reason's I'm doing Penis Enlargement right now so I will continue this. Definitly feel a nice stretch, and it's easy as hell! Perfect for a lazy sob like me! :-D

and this is why it is called the Lazy Ass

 

[Blue Whale]

Arguably the best exercise if you consider the amount of effort it takes to do.
It takes no effort,no dedication,nothing just pure lazyness i mean cmmon how hard can it be to sit on your dick?

In my point there is no excuse in not doing this exercise,you cant be that lazyrofl

And if you include my little detail which can be found in the link above the one that Red posted(thx Red) you can acquire easy gains with no effort and in my opinion its one of the best [words=http://www.phallosan.com/shop/catalog/default.php?z=eNortjIxtVKyL0pNszWxMFcrSSxKTy2JL0hMT7U1UisoykyxtbBQSy4tLsnPjS8uKcrMS7dVsgZcMMpbEbo%2C]ADS[/words] you can do it anywhere and everywhere.

If you wanna be the "king" in the shower room with your flaccid this exercise is all you need.

 

[DLD]

If you wanna be the "king" in the shower room with your flaccid this exercise is all you need.

So true. I made all of my flaccid gains using this and [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?44-Ace-Strapped-Jims-Joint]Uncle Jim[/words]'s Strapping Method.

 

[Blue Whale]

Bumped for routine.

 

[rbi99]

DLD, are you saying that after you stopped doing these everyday your flaccid size decreased?

 

[demand375]

I've been interested in Penis Enlargement for a couple of years now and have practiced jelqs off and on during this period, but not with the consistency required for permanent gains. I've recently begun using DLD's beginner routine and was wondering if it would be safe to include Lazy Ass Stretches as a newbie. Increasing flaccid length is a large goal of mine as I am a "grower". It seems like a waste for me to not practice such a simple exercise when I spend a lot of my free time parked in front of the computer doing various things. Anyways any feedback would be greatly appreciated.