Would you share your girl?

I keep looking on that damn site wifelovers.com and I always see, "My wife wants a new dick", or "We need another man for a M-F-M", or "My wife wants to tryout a blk dick", or "I want to watch my lady fuck another dick". I am just curious as to how many guys here would "share" their girlfriend/wife etc. with another man, whether watching, participating, jacking off, etc?

I say no fvcking way, what-so-ever. Over my cold, dead dick. Not a fat chance in hell. I have had this conversation with a few people, and most say I am too jealous. I agree, maybe 10-15% of my thoughts would be wondering if she would like the other guy more, but mostly its just because I couldnt deal with it...I could never watch her/participate with her getting off with another guy.

Damn I screwed up on the poll :hammering

Im with you on this.Also,damn right id be jealous.My woman is my woman.Now if she wants to be with another woman thats fine with me as long as the sneaking around doesnt start.Id like to know its happening and when and stuff.

Some guys are just into that shit, it turns them on somehow. I bet that most of the girls have little to do with it they are probably just trying to make their man happy.

There is a large, underground community of swingers in the United States. Well, not so underground anymore thanks to the internet. Alot of people get into swinging and swapping and trying out new things. Sharing is a big no-no if you can't deal with feelings of jealousy or insecurity or whatever. I know there are a couple swingers right here on this forum. Hopefully they respond to this thread.

Would I share my girl? There's no way to explain how much that question shocks me, it's beyond unthinkable. I'd die first. In fact, scripture states that if somebody comes to your home to kidnap your wife, to take by force your property or to set fire in your house, he is called aggressor. He should immediately be killed. Otherwise there is non-violence, but this is a situation where non-violence is out of question. To me, to even think such a thing is beyond absurd. In my opinion, the number one quality in a woman is loyalty, and if she breaks that in any way, she has broken our relationship for good. That would be no light offense, I am strongly opposed with it.

My wife and myself are swingers and have had a great experience with the lifestyle. As Knog said it definitely requires that you hash out any and all jealousy issues before doing it.

Stuff,
I hear you and used to feel the same way some time ago... but in regards to loyalty, if you both aren't on the same page and agree to do it then it is definitely a violationo of ones loyalty to share or swing. But on the other hand, if you both agree to share your partner with another couple then there is no violation of loyalty (unless of course she decides to leave you for the other person). You two must be able to separate sex from love. I love my wife very much and trust that she feels that same, but if she decides to leave me for someone else, i won't to stop her. This applies whether we were swingers or not. The sex we have with other people does in no way replace sex with each other, in fact we have more sex (quality) with each other now than before we became swingers and the sex we have after we get home from a swap or party is usually mind spinning.

We don't just pick up a couple at a bar and screw them, we are very picky about the people we associate and have sex with. Alot of them have become our friends and we often times go out with them and not have sex afterwards. We have found that swinging will either make your relationship stronger as it has with us and most of our swinger friends or it will break you up.

I think id curl up and die if my girl was with anyone but me.

I do not agree. Loyalty means that she will stay with you, and only you, under any circumstance, no matter what, and regardless of agreement. Nevermind that there is some agreement, if she is with someone else the bond of loyalty is gone and in its place there is a bond of 'agreement,' that though the loyalty is gone, still you will remain together.

She must also have loyalty of mind to have actual and pure loyalty, not even thinking of being with other men. If she were to think of being with other men, what is the point in even being with her at all? What is worth it, if she cannot begin to even think of only being with you? I think that loyalty is on a much higher ground than simply some agreement.

I myself wouldnt wonna share my girl with others, but maybe to a close freind...thats a maybe. I certainly dont get turned on by the idea of it, or the whole swinger scene.

I think group sex or a threesome would be an awesome experience, but I would NOT do it with someone I really cared about. To me, that's what the Bunny Ranch and escort services are for. And, again, this fantasy appeals much more to men than women, so I'm of the opinion that one should just call a professional or two.

My wife and I, watched a show on swinging the other day, and we both agreed that that type of life was not for us. We great sex without that life style. However, I do have a friend that I have not seen for many years, who is, or was a swinger, he sweared it was a great way to meet people, and have a great fuck with others at the same time.

Stuff_ said:

I do not agree. Loyalty means that she will stay with you, and only you, under any circumstance, no matter what, and regardless of agreement. Nevermind that there is some agreement, if she is with someone else the bond of loyalty is gone and in its place there is a bond of 'agreement,' that though the loyalty is gone, still you will remain together.

She must also have loyalty of mind to have actual and pure loyalty, not even thinking of being with other men. If she were to think of being with other men, what is the point in even being with her at all? What is worth it, if she cannot begin to even think of only being with you? I think that loyalty is on a much higher ground than simply some agreement.

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I guess our definitions of loyalty differs... we define loyalty as binding to an agreement of consent. As long as we are both OK with swapping or playing with a couple, then we don't feel there is any violation of loyalty. If however either of us goes on our own to play with another person or couple without the consent and knowledge of the other, then that person would be acting disloyal. We don't go out and see a couple and tell ourselves "let's go fuck that couple". we meet with them over dinner and maybe drinks first to see if there's chemistry before ever considering having sex with them.

We're not talking about pure and theoretical loyalty here as that's just not attainable. We're talkinig about practical, real life loyalty that works for us. If that was the case, everytime you looked at a hot chick and said to yourself "wow i really want to bang her" you are being disloyal. By your definition, no one on this board has been loyal or can ever be loyal their partner.

What i find interesting about the whole swinger lifestyle is that everyone that's in the lifestyle now (us included) has been on your side of the fence at one point in their life. Everyone has admitted that they used to think that they could never ever even consider sharing their partner with someone else. My point is... let's just wait and see where you on this issue 5-10 years from now. Never say never...

My wife and I agreed that we are both too jealous and insecure to do it, but we have discussed it and understand the appeal and have had some fun with it-- toys and role-play and all that. It's not about control and loyalty and fidelity, it's about having crazy, fun, free sex and getting off big. To me, it's kind of like team fucking. "Okay, honey, you're on my team. Let's go fuck 'em." Just my take on it. I'm pretty open to the idea.

I think you're on the right track there Kong... it's only about sex, nothing more, nothing less. You have to separeate the emotions of love from it and just enjoy the physical benefits of sex. The feelings of love you keep between yourselves.

It's all about loyalty and trust and faithfulness, and also not being satisfied with your partner enough to only want to be with them and them alone.

sikdogg said:

I guess our definitions of loyalty differs... we define loyalty as binding to an agreement of consent. As long as we are both OK with swapping or playing with a couple, then we don't feel there is any violation of loyalty. If however either of us goes on our own to play with another person or couple without the consent and knowledge of the other, then that person would be acting disloyal. We don't go out and see a couple and tell ourselves "let's go fuck that couple". we meet with them over dinner and maybe drinks first to see if there's chemistry before ever considering having sex with them.

We're not talking about pure and theoretical loyalty here as that's just not attainable. We're talking about practical, real life loyalty that works for us. If that was the case, everytime you looked at a hot chick and said to yourself "wow i really want to bang her" you are being disloyal. By your definition, no one on this board has been loyal or can ever be loyal their partner.

What i find interesting about the whole swinger lifestyle is that everyone that's in the lifestyle now (us included) has been on your side of the fence at one point in their life. Everyone has admitted that they used to think that they could never ever even consider sharing their partner with someone else. My point is... let's just wait and see where you on this issue 5-10 years from now. Never say never...

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Good post Sik, my definition of loyalty fits your's. I like to think of swinging as a way that you can fulfill your culturally defined role/duty to be "monogamous" and produce the "nuclear" family, while being able to express those primal urges to have sexual relations with more than one partner in an acceptalbe manner. I am too young to be married or think about a swinging lifestyle right now, but it does interest me.

User_Name said:

my stance.. to have sex with others isn't loyalty or love, it's just lust. If you really love someone, you wouldn't even consider being with someone else because no one could ever satisfy you as your love does and no one could make you more happy. To go out and have sex with others is saying that you're not satisfied being with just them... that your partner isn't enough for you and you have to go out and have sex with others to get what you're wanting.

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Stuff_ said:

It's all about loyalty and trust and faithfulness, and also not being satisfied with your partner enough to only want to be with them and them alone.

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I cant believe how naive and legalistic you guys are... if that was the case then you would never lust for the next hot chick that walks by. Human nature prevents us from being totally satisfied with just one thing no matter how good or what that one thing may be... As much as i like Italian food, i still eat Mexican, French, Chinese, and other foods without losing my love and craving for Italian food. It's all about sampling the pleasures in life.

It is not about legality, it is about spirituality. Spirituality, or Religion, means controling lust, restricting it, rather than letting your senses run wild and letting it control you. Someone you love has more value than food, and should be treated better than just another dish to be sampled, that is, in my opinion...

Keeping your senses and your mind in check, rather than letting them run wild and control your life is required of any sort of real spirituality. There is nothing naive about wanting to be only with one person, and being satisfied with just them... rather than allowing your lusty desire to become duspuram - never to be satisfied. Let it be puram, restricted, and in this you can find a greater love and happiness with one person.

There is always lust there because we have these human bodies, but you do not need to allow your senses to run wild and your lust to become never to be satisfied, instead you can restrict them to find Higher pleasures in life (God). It's not legalistic that I love my woman so much that I don't want to be with any other woman, neither is it true that I lust for the next hot chick that walks by. I might acknowledge that they look good, but I would not think that I want to be with them or have sex with them.