Would you share your girl?

Scheinen Herz · Mar 22, 2005

Don't bother with them. You know, there's that little love gland in our brains, and even though it's just a simple emotion like any other, we haven't developed the ability to distinguish what is love and what isn't, let alone be capable of feeling love.

I mean, I know it's just like anger, or sadness, or any other emotion in the sense that we feel it, and it still affects our behavior and how it drives us, but you know, it's LOVE. I mean WHOA!!

It takes time. You need to wait until you get older and get a JOB and pay taxes and all that amazing stuff that we only see in the movies, even though it has nothing to do with your ability to feel and be human. I'm right, you know.

You're degrading their ideals of love, and they feel offended, which is completely understandable. So, they're going to subtly and inconspicuously belittle you and your opinions. Why? Well, because they're older than you and are obviously more 'experienced', of course. Assuming that experienced means "Experienced in every single subject and aspect to life," I can safely say they're pros at what they do. You type a report and sit in a cubicle, and you've just been slapped with the knowledge stick. By enduring the bitching from your boss, you've finally acquired the ability to love, and to recognize love.

It takes a suit, 2 digits (the left being atleast 2), and an old mommy to know what love is.

kong1971 · Mar 22, 2005

Get a young Keanue Reeves to say that in a movie and it would be perfect. I mean-- whoa! That's so far out!

You guys sound like my kids and their friends. Talking on their cell phones, coming up with grand ideas like they invented them, and thinking we don't know what we're talking about because then you would have to believe it.

Sorry if you wanted chocolate ice cream and all I gave you was crackers.

Get over it.

Mommy and Daddy ain't perfect, and they don't have all the answers, but what they do have is a lot of "been there, done that".

samzman · Mar 22, 2005

kong1971 said:
sikdogg, I don't think they get it. I don't think they can get it right now. They thought I was talking about high school crushes, for Pete's sake! :D I was talking about crushes during the relationship! It happens. My wife got a crush on our car mechanic. I knew it. It cost me alot of money in car repairs, ha-ha. I also teased her ruthlessly about it. Did she do him? Nope. She loves me. Was I jealous? Yes. But you hash things out. I had a crush on a co-worker. Did I do her? Nope. Did my wife find out? Yeah, I told her. She was jealous, but also glad that I confided in her and trusted me that I loved her enough to resist temptation. Does this mean that our love is somehow flawed or "not true love"? Is your love stronger than ours, or have you just not been together long enough to face temptation? I think it's sweet that you talked about old boyfriends and girlfriends and told each other how you don't like some things about each other. It's a good start. It might help get your prepared for when you find out the real dirty laundry! I'm talking things like the guy you didn't know she lived with before you because she never quite got over him and was afraid to tell you about him, and who got molested, and who really slept with more women than he let on at first, and even had a threesome. Before you look down your nose at those things, we're also talking about the guy who sat next to her hospital bed for two days straight crying and praying when she almost died from post-toxemia, and the woman who went against her parent's wishes to marry a skinny kid with no money and nothing to give her but his heart. We're talking about the guy who works night and day to make sure there's enough money to pay the bills, and the woman who makes sure they're paid. Before anyone else goes on about true love, I think you ought to lay your shit on the table and tell us how long you've been together and what your current level of commitment is. There's a big difference between boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife...and 10+ years vesus 10+ months!

kittie an i have been together for almost 3 years now and it was quite a long three years. we faced racism problems, people trying to sabatoge the relationship...be it people mostly wanting to screw one of us individually or together, plus depression, health and hospital trips.....other such things. it wasn't all sunny days and rainbows. but the love is still there like the first day we actually fell for eachother. we don't live together yet, but that might come soon with the fact that i'm going to have to spend about another 3 semesters here at school and i don't think i can afford dorming any more after the 4 years here. we're there for eachother and i see this as much more than a highschool POS. true we met in highschool, but it is much more than that shit now. i'm sure there are things that are gonna come up (things already have) but we seem to work through it. i'm not planning to go anywhere anytime soon :D

so on this end, nope. no HS shit here :D

didn't mean this as a defensive or offensive post, just relaying off of it.

esteban · Mar 22, 2005

I can visualize the position you guys are talking about. It'd be a lot like watching a ��, just with someone you know. You'd look at your girl with another guy and say "Hey look at that, she's talented" or "Damn she's hot", and not really be looking at her as 'your girl'. I can see that, and could see how it would be an exciting and arousing experience.

I can visualize it, but to be honest I just don't think I could do it. I understand where people are coming from when they describe how it is a great sexual experience for them. Maybe I'm just not 'experienced' enough to feel that way myself, but to be honest, I don't think I ever will feel that way. I watched my girlfriend kiss another guy right in front of me, and it literally turned my stomach. Maybe it was because it was unexpected, but from that feeling alone I know it would be too hard for me.

philadelph · Mar 22, 2005

Once you have been in a relationship 3 years or longer, you begin to realize what these guys are talking about (sik and Kong). When I was with my girlfriend, the first ~ 2 years were amazing, not too much fighting, etc. Now that we are past this phase, the chemical in our brain has been depleted (Penis EnlargementA), and it takes much more work to stay together. Penis EnlargementA (phenyl ethyl amine) causes these feelings of lust and blind emotion.

sikdogg · Mar 22, 2005

User_Name said:
You and sikdogg also seem to assume that because it takes most people years to reveal all things to their lover that it would take us that amount of time as well... but as I told sikdogg earlier... no matter how many times you prove the case for most, it still doesn't mean all. Not all people begin the first few years of their relationship fueled on lust alone then after coming to grips with reality learn to love their partner.... and then after so many years resort back to being fueled with lust to make the relationship seem "fresh".

You're right, i was speaking in general and prolly over-generalized. There's always exceptions to every rule. You may or may not be an exception, i don't really know.

I do however believe that people do in fact start off the first year or two with lust. That is the driving force that initially binds us to one another such that we feel we can't get enopugh of each other. Over time this feeling dissipates and what's left is the beginnings of love. I don't believe that (generally speaking) we fall in love at first sight. We lust at first sight and then develop love over time.

I have already accepted the fact that no matter what I say you will always just stick your fingers in your ears and say "I'm older than you so I know more".. but I will continue to say what I believe because no matter how much you say it is false and fairy tale, I still believe it to be true... if that makes me immature, I have already told you that I will remain that way, then. And I believe I have already said how long we've been together, but since you missed it, I'll once again say it's been a year.

I did not intend to scord you and tell you "I'm older than you so I know more", i'm just relaying what i've found to be true. I'm not the emotional type but i've been with other women in the past and thought "this is the one", only to find after some time that she wasn't. I always found my way back to the woman who eventually became my wife. If you've found your miss-right early in life, i'm sincerely happy for you. It does happen, just not that often.

And being married for years doesn't prove love... my own parents are a case of this. They've been married for over 20 years and still don't love each other.. they have grown used to being around each other and dependent on the other being there because it's what they are accustomed to. My mother even cheated on my father and they stayed together.. not because of love, but because she had no where else to go and she didn't want to leave her children behind... she had to do that once before in a previous marriage. And my dad used to treat her like shit and ignore me and my siblings.. and spending money on things he wanted instead of things we needed.. some would consider it love to have stayed together through these things, but my own mother will admit that it wasn't love, but nessesity.

And even now she thinks at times that he is off having sex with another woman, but she doesn't care. It's not because they have "matured beyond petty jealousy and insecurity"... it's because they really don't care. There is no love between them and that is why it wouldn't bother them.[/color][/font]

Bro, i now understand why you feel the way you do... I'm sorry that you and your mom had to go through that. It's unfortunate when families are exposed to selfish parents. I know that it must have been tough for you growing up like that. My best friend (who was like a brother to me) grew up in a similar situation. They were in a bad situation and tried to make the best of it... sometimes that happens. As i said, i was speaking in generalizations. clearly your parents were an exception to the rule...

iwant8inches · Mar 22, 2005

I think this discussion went from could you swing to can love exist between two swingers. Love can't be defined. Love is everything that you've endured together and all the things you guys are talking about, but for some reason what I have gotten out of the last few posts is the idea that someone is suggesting that because you'd share your partner there cannot be love and then the other side suggesting that the other is naive for believing in the kind of love that they do. On the subtopic, I thought the point was that you can't love someone if lust was the sole reason you got involved with the person and married them because then you'd need something more to carry on with the relationship/stay together. I don't think that is always true and I don't think that because you'd share your partner you can't really be in love with the person nor do I think it is naive if someone feels they never will have the desire to be with someone new/share their partner. Like I said fantasies are what keep things fresh. It doesn't mean they are what we really want or what we will really do, but Kong it sounds like you have hashed things out and have an open honest marriage. That's fuckign love right there man! And Sik you and your wife are open enough with each other to be comfortable sharing each other with other people sexually and still remain happily married. That's love too! So, what the fuck are we arguing or trying to make the other see. If it's indeed that "time will tell" then hell what's the point. I just thought that if we were arguing love it'd be best to come right out and have all parties involved agree that there is no ONE type of love. Love is all the things that are covered underneath the very idea like an umbrella...lol sounds like a leaky one, but hell it's better than nothing. I for one don't look down on Sik or anyone. I don't know shit. I probably never will, but I'm listening.

User_Name · Mar 22, 2005

kong1971 said:
Get a young Keanue Reeves to say that in a movie and it would be perfect. I mean-- whoa! That's so far out!

You guys sound like my kids and their friends. Talking on their cell phones, coming up with grand ideas like they invented them, and thinking we don't know what we're talking about because then you would have to believe it.

Sorry if you wanted chocolate ice cream and all I gave you was crackers.

Get over it.

Mommy and Daddy ain't perfect, and they don't have all the answers, but what they do have is a lot of "been there, done that".

sounds like you've run out of valid arguements to resort to treating us like children. I'd try to avoid making posts out of frustration in the future, but what do I know.. I'm just a child, right?

And sikdogg.. I too believe that there is no such thing as "love at first sight". With me and my partner there was no "love at first sight" instance either... though there was attraction. True it isn't until later on in the relationship is when you realize it's love.. but it doesn't always take several years to be able to come to this conclusion.

I had come across two others before my significant other that I told myself "this is the one" and found I was wrong rather quickly ^_^; I didn't even want to be with who I am with now because I wanted to make my last relationship work out so much... but we were too drawn to each other to stay apart.. and it wasn't the whole "I must have sex with you!" thing.. I just never felt so special and loved with any other person. I actually denied it was love for the longest time because I figured it was just another passing fancy like the previous two.. but I didn't feel as strongly for them as I feel for this one... and the feeling just gets stronger as time passes.

sikdogg · Mar 22, 2005

Well said brother... you hit the nail on the head.

Scheinen Herz · Mar 22, 2005

kong1971 said:
Get a young Keanue Reeves to say that in a movie and it would be perfect. I mean-- whoa! That's so far out!

You guys sound like my kids and their friends. Talking on their cell phones, coming up with grand ideas like they invented them, and thinking we don't know what we're talking about because then you would have to believe it.

Sorry if you wanted chocolate ice cream and all I gave you was crackers.

Get over it.

Mommy and Daddy ain't perfect, and they don't have all the answers, but what they do have is a lot of "been there, done that".

I bet you're in your early twenties to mid-twenties. This is the same attitude almost all of them get.

It starts off with the big kids (ten year olds) picking on the little kids, then the teenagers pick on the big kids (and other teenagers) and then 18 rolls around and they feel rebellious (so they make fun of the younger teenagers) and then finally, 20 comes and they're so proud to be such a big adult, so they dedicate their life to stabbing at the teenagers. You're so right.

Scheinen Herz · Mar 22, 2005

Speaking with the same condescending tone, like they've just been through every single little thing possible. My ass. You've got a job, simple little thing. You haven't had a thousand girlfriends and been divorced one quadrillion times, so don't think too highly of your 'experience'. You pay bills (and suddenly you're the pro at love?) You think far too highly of yourself, and you're too dependant on your 'experience', just like a 4 year old to his mom. Mom isn't a super hero, and your 'experience' isn't something worthy of being in a history textbook. You're just like a teenager. We both have a crowd to pick on, and we both depend on something and think too highly of it. What you use to feed your attitude are teenagers, you pick on them, it builds you up. You're so experienced and mature. What you use to fall back on is your 'experience'. You're just as immature as any teenager, and you don't even realize it.

kong1971 · Mar 22, 2005

You think I'm picking on you? Typical. Stomping your feet and holding your breath doesn't work past grade school. Instead of trying to absorb my viewpoint you just get angry because I'm not telling you what you want to hear. BTW, I'm in my mid-thirties. I am not picking on anyone, just trying to explain some things. When you get my age (which, by the way, I estimate to be almost TWICE your age) you will get annoyed by teenage attitude just the same. Go watch some more MTV.

Stuff_ · Mar 22, 2005

It's pointless to post anything else because it's stuck in your head that User_Name and I are kids, but I find this whole "age wars" thing to be more immature and childish than anything else said in this thread. Being mature enough to be in your 30's, you should be above that "I'm older than you so I matter more" stuff, that's for kids. By the way, it does seem kind of odd being called a kid and a teenager when you're in your 20's, but then age doesn't even matter.. and I'm sure there are people that think you're still a kid in your 20's. Heck, people older than you probably think people in their 30's are kids! Who knows... the people that grow older but remain immature keep that "age wars" mentality. I personally feel once someone takes that stance, speaking with them is a moot point because their ears are filled with cotton to those not in or above their age bracket. :|

Scheinen Herz · Mar 22, 2005

kong1971 said:
You think I'm picking on you? Typical. Stomping your feet and holding your breath doesn't work past grade school. Instead of trying to absorb my viewpoint you just get angry because I'm not telling you what you want to hear. BTW, I'm in my mid-thirties. I am not picking on anyone, just trying to explain some things. When you get my age (which, by the way, I estimate to be almost TWICE your age) you will get annoyed by teenage attitude just the same. Go watch some more MTV.

Hypocrite. What about you? You come up with some shit-response like that, all because you heard what you didn't want to hear. Why should I consider what you say, when you aren't even doing the same for me? Instead, you make groundless, ridiculous assumptions based on my age (you know, making generalizations) and then you claim you're not picking on me? You made a generalization about Teenagers, you spoke of Teenagers in a condescending tone, and I, being a Teenager, am supposed to go "Yeah! You're totally right, man." I don't have to agree with you to be right, especially when you didn't even offer constructive criticism about Teenagers. What was there to listen to? You sat there using condescending words like "mommy" and such. If anybody listened to you, it wouldn't have helped. It would have pissed off any Teengaer who knows the difference between constructive criticism and just plain insulting. I hate MTV. I hate Rap (Most Teenagers' favorite) I think it's a culture entirely based on Attention. It's all about who has the most pimped-out ride, who has the hottest bitches and hoes, who has the most bling, whatever. I hate words like Poser and all those stupid terms that Teenagers' used (and basically dug a hole for themselves') What pisses me off about you is that you lack the ability to be insightful. Go watch some more MTV? I'm sure you would have told that to any Teenager who disagreed with you. Any bullshit implication on the Teenage culture (made by Teenagers and the media) pisses me off just as much as it does you, but unlike you, my views sink deeper, and I'm actually open-minded about it. I don't just think "Teenager=Angsty, Wannabe Thug, Dilusional, Immature tit-sucking momma's boy." It's just like judging someone because of their Job, or because of their attire, anything. For me, there're cliques in school. You probably forgot how it was to be a Teenager in school, so I'll elaborate.

Most teenagers view each other based on the clique they are associated with. If you're a Goth, then you've got issues and you're depressed (or if you hate Goths, then they're just angsty idiots.) If you're a Prep, then you are shallow and prefer trivial things (or if you're a Goth, then Preps are the people who shoot you dirty looks and hate you so much because you're so different.)

My point is, you're just like one of those typical Teenagers. Your views are ruled by simple things like Age or Clique (for you, it's age.) Chances are (based on your previous responses) you won't listen to me. Afterall, since I didnt agree with your sheer insults, I'm just some Teengaer who's half your age and isn't considering what you're saying because I don't want to hear it.

Stuff_ · Mar 22, 2005

Wow, this thread has gotten way off-topic.

Baraka · Mar 22, 2005

I knew this would happen. That's why I posted when I did.

User_Name · Mar 22, 2005

indeed, that is has ^_^;
First it was about sharing.. then got into a debate about love.. and now the age wars. So what's next? Hobbies and pastimes?

sikdogg · Mar 23, 2005

C'mon guys, let's chill... i think we're taking peoples comments too personal. I don't think the was any malice or intent to offend the young'ins when us old folk brought up age and experience. If i offended anyone, please accept my apology.

Stuff_ · Mar 23, 2005

In your 20's you're still a 'young'in' and in your 30's you're already 'old folk'. :s

...But I agree, lets just chill.

sikdogg · Mar 23, 2005

Just tongue-n-cheek...

Bro, i have a 13 and 20 year old at home and they both think i'm an old fogey... and sometimes, i feel like one.

Would you share your girl?

0

1

0

0

1

1

1

0

1

0

0

1

0

0

0

0

0

1

0

1

Similar threads