Would you share your girl?

User_Name said:

...And I do not look at others and think "I want to have sex with them."... At most I would say "there is an attractive person" but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with them... the thought of having sex with anyone other than the one I love is absurd and even sickening...

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You mean to tell that you've never thought that... I find that hard to swallow... I think if that was truely the case for most guys, there wouldn't be a ���� industry.

Stuff,
I guess since i'm an atheist, it's all about legality for me. Spirituality and religion were created by man to reason out what they couldn't understand. If you guys don't agree with me that's cool, you don't have to become a swinger. I'd be curious to see where you guys stand on this issue 10 years from now...

Sikdogg just out of curiousity, do you participate in swinging where there is just an extra male? Or does there have to be an extra male and female? Has your wife let you have a threesome with her and another female?

10 years from now we'll be happily and chastly married, and probably with kids.

And though -some- religions may be man-made, doesn't mean that God doesn't exist. But I think our point has been shown on this issue pretty much. ^_^

I'm with Sikdog. You kids are young. 10 years down the road, you may begin to realize that all these ideas about loyality and spirituality being the antithesis of sensuality are a little bit immature. Not to be hurtful or argumentative, but it seems more like a crutch for feelings of insecurity and jealousy and repressed sexuality. I think your feelings about sex change when you begin to reach an age when it is more about pleasure than procreation. The kids are grown up, you've been with the wife for ages and have worked out all your petty little jealousies and insecurities and you've actually become soulmates and not just married. You don't hide the ���� collection anymore and she actually tells you how she wants it when you're in bed doing it, cause you've actually opened up to each other and accepted the real persons. It's hard to put it all down in words because my wife and I are just now starting to get to that stage. I think if she said she wanted to have a threesome with another male or female, I would seriously consider it. I might not go along with it, but I wouldn't get pissed and slap her around or leave her.

Perhaps we are immature, materially. Due to the ways of culture in this country in this age, I agree with that. But rather, what is actually immature, or in other words religiously or spiritually immature, is to allow so much lusty sex life to go on unrestrained. Material advancement means how to please the genitals, but spiritual advancement means restricting the sex life (but it does not mean eliminating it). So there is a choice - be materially immature, or spiritually immature. My choice is made.

philadelph said:

Sikdogg just out of curiousity, do you participate in swinging where there is just an extra male? Or does there have to be an extra male and female? Has your wife let you have a threesome with her and another female?

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We've done MFM, FMF, and MFMF. Although we enjoy all three scenarios, we prefer to play with couples because there's more options in terms of possible combinations. In the course of playing with another couple, we usually end up in MFM, FMF, and MFMF situations throughout the evening. We also prefer people that are married or have been committed to each for some time. My wife's best friend has actually become my 9or our) girlfriend.

User_Name said:

believe it or not sikdogg, not everyone watches ���� and not everyone lusts after every good looking creature they see. And I might have thought that once before being in love or when I was younger with raging hormones and no partner.

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No not everyone watches ���� but i would venture to say that most (not all) men have watched or continue to watch ���� on a fairly regular basis. If you don't think so, do a poll of the guys on this or any other board. I will also venture to say that the age group of the men that do watch ���� ranges from below 21 to above 50 years old. Men are horndogs whether you want to believe it or not.

And yes, 10 years from now we will still be in love and want to be with no one else because love never grows old. You don't need to add things to it to make it better because it's perfect the way it is and there's nothing you could possibly do to "make it better".

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Clearly you haven't been in a long term relationship... contrary to what you've read somewhere about love, love doesn't carry a relationship. It requires constant work to keep things running smoothly and at times you actually have to make an effort to get out of guts and make things better.

But that does bring up another question.. would you really want to be going around swinging when you have kids? How would you explain it to them? Would it be something you want to encourage them to do when they grow up?

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Fact is we do have kids... we don't discuss it with them just as most couple don't discuss their private sex life with their kids. If our kids find out about it, we have no problems explaining our situation with them. We expect that they would prolly react the way you are now, but would eventually accept the fact that this right or wrong, is what we've chosen to do. We wouldn't encourage them to do it nor would we discourage them. We would allow them to make their own choices and not judge them whichever way they choose.

sikdogg said:

We've done MFM, FMF, and MFMF. Although we enjoy all three scenarios, we prefer to play with couples because there's more options in terms of possible combinations. In the course of playing with another couple, we usually end up in MFM, FMF, and MFMF situations throughout the evening. We also prefer people that are married or have been committed to each for some time. My wife's best friend has actually become my 9or our) girlfriend.

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Wow that sounds like a lot of fun. Were you the one who initiated the idea about possible swinging, or your wife?

I too, will remain immature, if that is what it is.

kong1971 said:

I'm with Sikdog. You kids are young. 10 years down the road, you may begin to realize that all these ideas about loyality and spirituality being the antithesis of sensuality are a little bit immature. Not to be hurtful or argumentative, but it seems more like a crutch for feelings of insecurity and jealousy and repressed sexuality. I think your feelings about sex change when you begin to reach an age when it is more about pleasure than procreation. The kids are grown up, you've been with the wife for ages and have worked out all your petty little jealousies and insecurities and you've actually become soulmates and not just married. You don't hide the ���� collection anymore and she actually tells you how she wants it when you're in bed doing it, cause you've actually opened up to each other and accepted the real persons. It's hard to put it all down in words because my wife and I are just now starting to get to that stage. I think if she said she wanted to have a threesome with another male or female, I would seriously consider it. I might not go along with it, but I wouldn't get pissed and slap her around or leave her.

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You and i are very similar in this respect, 2-3 years ago i was in the same place that you are at now. My wife and i talked alot about the possiblity of bringing in a third. At first i would not even consider another male, only females. Then one day, i realized that i was being unfair... either we do this fairly or not at all. It turned out that our first time was with another couple and i thought that i would feel jealous seeing her with another man but as things turned out, i didn't. We both enjoyed seeing the other pleasuring and being pleasure by someone else, in fact we had the best sex after we got home and told each other about the experience we just had. We still have great sex everytime we get home after playing with others. We are more open now about everything and spend many hours just talking about anything and everything. We've come to realize that as good as the sex is with other people, it's always better with each other.

philadelph said:

Wow that sounds like a lot of fun. Were you the one who initiated the idea about possible swinging, or your wife?

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I initally brought it up one day when we were talking about each other's fantasies. My wife never commented whether she was opposed to it or if she was willing to explore it. The topic would come up again every few months and get dropped. One day after sex when we were just talking about differnt things, she brouht up the subject and said that she was curious about the idea. We talked more about it as time passed and one day decided that we should try it out and see if it was for us.

User_Name said:

sikdogg, most still does not mean all. Not matter how many times you point out what the majority of people are like, that still does not mean everyone is like that.

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agreed...

I do not need to read about love to know what it's like, nor do you have to have been together for uncountable years to know what love is. There are some people that have been married for over 20 years that still don't know what love is. And it seems that the majority of people live their whole lives not knowing what love is. What love really is seems too good to be true, so they just assume that real love doesn't exist and say what they have is love.

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I hear you bro and couldn't agree with you more...

I do thank you for answering my questions. There have been many times in which I would ask someone that had a different opinion than me questions and they ignored them or tried to act like they were answering them when they really didn't.

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No prob. I don't expect everyone or even most guys to jump on my bandwagon. I understand that the swinger lifestyle isn't for mainstream America. I do truely understand your position as i've been there. I think that i just evolved to where in am today, you and Stuff may or may not end up in the same place as i am down the road, but regardles of where you both end up - that's OK too.

Guys, guys, guys... come on! Stuff and User_Name have one take on swinging and sikdogg has another. It all comes down to personal preference. To each his own, right? You may not approve of someone's view on this subject- or on anything else, for that matter- but that doesn't give you the right to judge or condemn that person for their opinion. Tolerance is the key.

Some people hate constant change, while other people can't live without it. Some people have almost insatiable sex drives, while others can live with one orgasm a week. I believe that these are the two most significant factors in determining someone's swinging potential. sikdogg, along with myself and others on this board are simply wired differently than Stuff and User_Name. And that's okay.

sikdogg mentioned something about "all men liking ����" and that "all men are horndogs". Not exactly true. Believe it or not, about two-thirds of all men and one-third of all women possess a distinctly greater sexual appetite than their remaining peers. No one knows why, although genetics have obviously come up in the discussion. A great deal more work needs to be done in this area to begin to understand these critical factors. We've barely even scratched the surface up to this point. Keep this in mind before any of you bash someone else for loving or hating swinging. We're all wired differently. We're all unique. Remember that.

It's all good bro... i didn't take Stuff's or User_Name's comments as bashing. It was just an exchange of opposing opinions. I think we all understand that...

Yeah, you two have every right to think the way you do! I'm not trying to say you're wrong, only that it is obvious that you are young and still believe in the myth of love and not the reality of it. Enjoy the fairy tale while it lasts...and I don't mean that in a mean-spirited or cynical way. Although the sparkles and happy rainbows fade, something else takes their place that is infinitely better and more strong. My wife calls it Unconditional Love. I call it Devotion.