How can I ejactulate faster when having sex??

Two things come (no pun intended) to my mind from this discussion. There's the physical aspect and the mental one. Physically the body responds to external stimulation of the glans in particular (and the clit for females.)That is why masturbation prolongs stamina, because it decreases the sensitivity of the glans. So a short period of abstinence may help.(what did I just say abstain? Hoo boy...) Then there's the mental aspects, Much more complicated since there are as many different triggers as there are people. But in basic terms, what turns you on about this (or any other girl?) When you know what it is you like, you can focus your mind on those qualities. For example, are you a visual person, do you need to have the lights on? Are you aural, do you get off on hearing the sounds she makes? Of course there's touch taste, smell (lets not go there...) etc.

Often it is a combination of these. Sometimes it may be one or the other. Don't however make sex too "technical". If your too focused on your performance then you won't enjoy yourself. Concentrate on her reactions to you, but don't forget to savor the exprience yourself. Let your mind wander, don't worry about whether your doing things right, she'll let you know when you are. Then just fantasize, better yet, share your fantasies with each other and act them out. It can really make the whole experience a lot of fun. As a last resort, assuming you don't mastubate too much, talk to your doctor. While I'm not personally aware of any products out there, its possible you could use some type topical cream to increase sensitivity.

When I lost my virginity it took me 2hrs and 45 minutes for me to come.

My gf thought it may be the condom so we tried without a condom and I last about 30 minutes.

I know if I want to come, I bang her hard and fast. Just hearing her moan makes me wanna come.

But that's just me

I know I have this problem too... if you can call it that. It is great when you want to make a night of it, but when you just want a quickie it doesn't make things that easy. I would like to find a way to "flip the switch" I guess. It's strange though... when I want to jack off real quick I can get the job done in five minutes.

wow i wish i could have your problem.

drew21 said:

wow i wish i could have your problem.

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Same down here. I wish could last that long. I cum about in two mins. I called that really short sex. :thumbdown:

I have the same problem going to long but its normally after a night of drinking. I have this friend (with benefits) who's cute but nothing special and 4 times now in the last 2 months we've hooked up and it's always been after the bars or party or something and I can never cum. I think it's a combo of drinking (having mind kinda wander and not focused) and just not being that stimulated and almost going through the motions. I guess if u think about it too much then you take longer. When I was with my girl for 4 years I could do the quickie and get it done but I think because we were in love and I was more relaxed blah blah. I think it comes down to being comfortable around the chick.

Try having her hold the base of your cock with a jelq sort of grip, and have her hold it comfortably tight. If this doesn't make you come faster, it'll make the sex better. Or just have her talk dirty to you, or do something else that fires you up. I focused on control a lot when I was younger, and I jacked off damn near every day, sometimes 4 or 5 times. But the mental part make a big difference. I can go 15-20 minutes, sometimes more on the first time. But sometimes my wife'll have her pearl body art in 55 seconds, especially if I don't concentrate.

Wishing|Average said:

When I lost my virginity it took me 2hrs and 45 minutes for me to come.

My gf thought it may be the condom so we tried without a condom and I last about 30 minutes.

I know if I want to come, I bang her hard and fast. Just hearing her moan makes me wanna come.

But that's just me

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Well, I never have had a 2 hr. 45 min. experience, but my first time fooling around was quick, but the first time of actual penetration took a surprisingly long time. I have never came in less than 10 minutes and that was only by fucking with some ferocious intensity with someone I was familiar with and concentrating on coming ASAP. Depends on the position too. Doggystyle does nothing for me. I like looking down at her ass and caressing her tits while I fuck her, but it just doesn't stimulate my dick much. I am convinced that I would collapse of sheer exhaustion before I would ever come exclusively from doggystyle.

Anyway, it just proves that the stereotype that every guy is going to blow a nut in a matter of seconds his first time, like something right out of American Pie, is a myth.

Wow the first post isnt a joke, at least for me, I ve been doing it only 2 times now, but could not even cum at all :S Count it on a matter of hours, and then when I'm not even able to move, I still can't cum.

I guess that's a mental blocage, really need to work this out? . Bizare thing that I'm aroused for all this time, without cumming.

It takes a while also when I'm masturbating. Shit what do I look like after 3-4 hours of bestial sex, and then somehow I loose some "power" and can't cum, eventually I loose my erection, since that's so damn bad.

I just can't ... The girl I'm with atm really is nice, she didn't make a comment yet about it. I know the advantage of lasting longer is great, but if you can't cum at the end, that freakin sucks... <

You mentioned your "stay time" but you didn't clue us in on whether that included any kind of foreplay; oral, manual, titty fukkin'...what-all-else, or is this just your "jam-it-in-and-pound" time? One approach might be; instead of trying to force your orgasm "out from the inside" try to become so overloaded with stimulation from all of your nerve endings that your girl yanks the orgasm out of you "from the outside". Do you ever edge when you're Penis Enlargement'ing? When your cock's as hard as a rock and the skin's drawn drum-tight? Try getting into positions where that'll happen during sex. I do that while having sex with my gal and all I have to do is reverse kegel, (it's almost like I'm doing ULI's) and as I swell, she clamps down as her orgasm builds, and pretty soon her pussy is absolutely vibrating ! It's like she's got epilepsy or something and when I finally come it feels like I put good ol' Peter North to shame. One advantage to this is that since not a whole lot of thrusting's involved it's not tiring for you and not painful for her because of the slow easy adjustment time. With just a little practice all you'd need is a little slow grind and cock pulsing Don't obsess on the end result; focus on building your stimulation and tension and the end result will probably surprise the hell outtaya

MAXAMEYES said:

You mentioned your "stay time" but you didn't clue us in on whether that included any kind of foreplay; oral, manual, titty fukkin'...what-all-else, or is this just your "jam-it-in-and-pound" time? One approach might be; instead of trying to force your orgasm "out from the inside" try to become so overloaded with stimulation from all of your nerve endings that your girl yanks the orgasm out of you "from the outside". Do you ever edge when you're Penis Enlargement'ing? When your cock's as hard as a rock and the skin's drawn drum-tight? Try getting into positions where that'll happen during sex. I do that while having sex with my gal and all I have to do is reverse kegel, (it's almost like I'm doing ULI's) and as I swell, she clamps down as her orgasm builds, and pretty soon her pussy is absolutely vibrating ! It's like she's got epilepsy or something and when I finally come it feels like I put good ol' Peter North to shame. One advantage to this is that since not a whole lot of thrusting's involved it's not tiring for you and not painful for her because of the slow easy adjustment time. With just a little practice all you'd need is a little slow grind and cock pulsing Don't obsess on the end result; focus on building your stimulation and tension and the end result will probably surprise the hell outtaya

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In average I would say 3 hours including the cuddling, kissing, oral sex, fingering, penetrating, then coming back to oral, anyways you see the point.

I do not concentrate on the act of cumming, but rather on making her fell like heaven. This does not stress me neither, since the bed becomes all wet (I'm not kidding there...) But after some time, she starts to become energy depleted you know after some serious exercice... So that,s the cue for me that I can let loose... But I'm always on the EDGE, it feels fuking great, so much better than jerking off but I will NEVER cum.

I know for me that if I have too many dry orgasms they can hinder me achieving a final full-blown shooter, much more so when I was younger, but still now to some extent. I can't tell, are you actively holding back? If so; don't, hell at your age you oughtta be able to shoot 4, 5, 6 times a night.
Don't wait for a "cue"... just let it rip, your orgasm is at least as valid as hers.
This may sound counter-intuitive but lose some of your "focus" and simply ride with the flow of sensations. Some guys lose their erections because of excessive focus, you sound as though you're at the opposite end of the same problem. There is such a thing as simply trying too hard.
Good luck!

MAXAMEYES said:

I know for me that if I have too many dry orgasms they can hinder me achieving a final full-blown shooter, much more so when I was younger, but still now to some extent. I can't tell, are you actively holding back? If so; don't, hell at your age you oughtta be able to shoot 4, 5, 6 times a night.
Don't wait for a "cue"... just let it rip, your orgasm is at least as valid as hers.
This may sound counter-intuitive but lose some of your "focus" and simply ride with the flow of sensations. Some guys lose their erections because of excessive focus, you sound as though you're at the opposite end of the same problem. There is such a thing as simply trying too hard.
Good luck!

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Well thanks for your extensive support

1st of, I don't hold back, but am always on the edge... that sometimes freaks me out as it can last pretty much long. It's good though

For the "cue" thing I maybe chose the bad words, I wanted to say that once your girl nearly can't move anymore because shes so tired, then you know, I guess I am thinking subcounsiously it would be a great time to cum you know.

As for the erection losing, I don't have that kind of problem, exept when I feel I am really on the edge, take off the condom, go for the facial or belly shot, and it never get frikin out

It always ends like that and feel it kinda ruins most of it, even if she had multiple orgasms... (she cut my back with her nails last time. )

I guess you are right though, I've been so much focusing,before my first time, on getting my girl crazy, reading books, asking subtle question to female friends etc... now alll that works quite well, at least.

I guess experience will smooth things out and that will sort it out by itself ?

That's f*cked up :S

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/ejaculatoryincompetence.htm

Forgive me for this quick post but I thought this might help. I shall return to talk about it after something.

So is RE always a psychological problem?

Nearly always.

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Nice... :s

Sorry, RE means "Retarded Ejaculation"

Zewt said:

http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/sex_relationships/facts/ejaculatoryincompetence.htm

Forgive me for this quick post but I thought this might help. I shall return to talk about it after something.

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Problem solved m8! I came in about an hour! She was like " wtf, it's ur first time! " :s I really took this one being relax, and you know 100% confident she would have multiple orgasms just like th elast 2 times where I didn't cum at all... Well, It is a mental blocage for the biggest part. I might also add that the real penis that is under the foreskin is still so damn sensitive for me that it nearly hurts when not in a pussy or mouth ( teeth does hurt) So that was a turn off for me also, as she didn't retract the foreskin this time...

Thanks for your support guys, that really helped. Hurray for MoS. !

Now that I re-read this thread, now without being emotional, ... It seemed like I was giving too much details about my "performance" in bed... But I guess that's because I'm 19 and pretty ... proud ... of what I get from this girl ! I don't want to make myself look better than the other, even if that seemed so!

You can PM me trash if you like lol

Oh have I mentionned that when she said" "hey stop, that hurts down there... it's too far..." that was probably a kind of sentence that my subconsious mind was looking for

That sounds f*cked up I know