Ok, but i cant fake confidnece, u odnt just get over the fact u cant fuck, u do soemthing about ti then get over it. i met this girl just after my mum had taken o/d and i was really borken up, she snapped me out of my dpression and i tried to become a better man, i was amess with no pride or confdience, i wanted to be better becuas ei wnated t stay with her, and i did i joined a gym and discovered my calling in the fitness industry, about to go college on a sports and exercise science course, i developed my selfesteem and changed my image. it was only because ogf my fear of losing her i made these changes , otherwise i dont kno wheere i would be. i learned about biology, and peiced together ythere was soemthign wrong, i'm now on the verge of fixing, however non of this wudnt of happend if it wasnt for te ahrshness of our raltionship she chetaed on me 4 times over the space of the first 4 months of our realtionship, but she never wnated to leave me, i ebgged her to stay away from me, but now 8 months l8er we're together with no unfaithfulness, however. i am am really torn about the hurt she caused me and i feel to care and prtect her as i love her but half of me wanst to hurt her badly, n i am not sure if on soem elvel i ahev been stirging her along so that once i'm better i can really fuck her up. i am torn between being the evil, manipulating perosn i was and a nice perosn i am whben i'm aroudn her. i just cant figure it out. i'm not sure if i'm really insecure if i'm really confident, the only way i think i can work things ou is if i get ebtta redicover myslef without the lack of emntal clirty poor confidence and lack of energy a test deficiency creates, then decided if she really worth my love.
damn i'm fucked up.
sorry for poor typing