Confidence = DESTROYED

T

themember

0
I wanna make this short so:
Recently i asked my GF about about the other cocks she has had. She had had 2 whom were bigger than mine (which is fine, i'm 6x4.5) when i asked her how much bigger she said " A LOT! " i might be mistaken but i remember her eyes widening.
I guess she saw my facial expression of true,deep shame and depression... either that or maybe she literally saw my self-worth and confidence die right there... Either way she quickly follow up with the mandatory " but they were way too big, not nice at all and they hurt like hell. your's is just fine! (insert fake smile here?) "

Well first this resulted in me having doubts about myself next came premature ejaculation as a result of the pressure i feel every day, then came the me not wanting blowjobs from her because i kept looking at her give it to me, and to me it seemed like she barely had to open her mouth to fit it in there... Well ultimately it has resulted in me spending around 3hours a day researching my issue on the internet, trouble sleeping, obviously i also constantly think the whole thing through which results in stress and self-worth problems.

Because of my, now, non-existent confidence i have completely lost all interest in having sex with her. To make matters worse i cannot make her cum vaginally(she says she is not able to). I will still please her and make her orgasm with fingers and oral, which, fortunately, i'm pretty good at. But i just feel humiliatingly small and it almost feels as if she is letting me " use " her to finish in,as if she is some kind of receptacle for me to dump my load in and just get it over, which is even more humiliating and embarrassing :( . I don't want that then i'd rather refrain and just get myself off when the weekend is over(as i do not climax from oral) oh yeah On top of that i hear little to no moaning during sex.

I've never had ANY of these problems and normally i'm a very intriguing character to a lot of girls, pretty mature for my age to. I've received a couple of positive unprovoked comments on my member over the years, one even claimed i was her biggest (i only now started to doubt that). My " mojo" has always been my cool,relaxed and confident personality. I also never shared my feelings around matters that could damage this "mojo"... But once again i've taken a turn for the worse and confronted her with what this did to me(in chatroom, we live apart)... She replied shortly with the obligatory " awww :/, i'm sorry... you are just fine though" i then went on to explain further i have not heard from her in almost 2 days (which, TRUST ME, is not a normal thing with her)... Sooo i'm a changed " man " aaaand i guess i'm just waiting for her to get bored with me. Either that or i'll just start satisfying the both of us... this is the 9/11 of depressions... but it helped a little writing this BS

p.s don't gimme me dat " I have to start feeling better about yourself" or " your penis is above average " that is not AT ALL what this is about. Even if i were 8x6 and that was the only thing you changed in the wall of text above, the outcome would still be the same... Oh yeah also i'm black and 2meters tall.. She might have expected a tad bit more and i probably forgot to write a lot of other issues...

p.s.s I started with " i wanna make this short " this is the shorted down version.
 
Im sorry to hear that man. Start doing the basics and trust me youl see growth. I know that on a 2m frame your dick must look small, but hey nobodys born with a big dick you either get it when hormone changes settle in or by pulling at your wanker since your 7. Cheer up, you found the promised land. Were here to help you. :)
 
Yeah I'm sorry dude. I understand because I'm half black myself and there are a lot of girls who expected BAZAAM but got average. I believe you're reading and overthinking it too much though. I can only make my gf orgasm with finger and oral as well, but I don't mind. She's always had a difficult time orgasming through intercourse, she's admited to me. Don't let it mess up your confidence. A woman can feel and sense how confident you are in bed and when you know that you're the man she'll feel that from you. Did you ever think how she may feel? Maybe she doesn't know what to say to help you feel better and your low self esteem is giving her insecurities too about her ownself. I'm not gonna give you the Dr. Phil, I'm just trying to help cause I've been down that road and it sucks big time. And I really hope you can find your confidence again. Just do the basics and do them with a purpose too. Don't go in half ass expecting gains, its all or nothing. And when you do it, do it for you, not your girl. Cause when you can be happy with yourself it don't even matter what anyone else thinks. Good luck to you my friend!
 
themember;530276 said:
I wanna make this short so:
Recently i asked my GF about about the other cocks she has had. She had had 2 whom were bigger than mine (which is fine, i'm 6x4.5) when i asked her how much bigger she said " A LOT! " i might be mistaken but i remember her eyes widening.
I guess she saw my facial expression of true,deep shame and depression... either that or maybe she literally saw my self-worth and confidence die right there... Either way she quickly follow up with the mandatory " but they were way too big, not nice at all and they hurt like hell. your's is just fine! (insert fake smile here?) "

Well first this resulted in me having doubts about myself next came premature ejaculation as a result of the pressure i feel every day, then came the me not wanting blowjobs from her because i kept looking at her give it to me, and to me it seemed like she barely had to open her mouth to fit it in there... Well ultimately it has resulted in me spending around 3hours a day researching my issue on the internet, trouble sleeping, obviously i also constantly think the whole thing through which results in stress and self-worth problems.

Because of my, now, non-existent confidence i have completely lost all interest in having sex with her. To make matters worse i cannot make her cum vaginally(she says she is not able to). I will still please her and make her orgasm with fingers and oral, which, fortunately, i'm pretty good at. But i just feel humiliatingly small and it almost feels as if she is letting me " use " her to finish in,as if she is some kind of receptacle for me to dump my load in and just get it over, which is even more humiliating and embarrassing :( . I don't want that then i'd rather refrain and just get myself off when the weekend is over(as i do not climax from oral) oh yeah On top of that i hear little to no moaning during sex.

I've never had ANY of these problems and normally i'm a very intriguing character to a lot of girls, pretty mature for my age to. I've received a couple of positive unprovoked comments on my member over the years, one even claimed i was her biggest (i only now started to doubt that). My " mojo" has always been my cool,relaxed and confident personality. I also never shared my feelings around matters that could damage this "mojo"... But once again i've taken a turn for the worse and confronted her with what this did to me(in chatroom, we live apart)... She replied shortly with the obligatory " awww :/, i'm sorry... you are just fine though" i then went on to explain further i have not heard from her in almost 2 days (which, TRUST ME, is not a normal thing with her)... Sooo i'm a changed " man " aaaand i guess i'm just waiting for her to get bored with me. Either that or i'll just start satisfying the both of us... this is the 9/11 of depressions... but it helped a little writing this BS

p.s don't gimme me dat " I have to start feeling better about yourself" or " your penis is above average " that is not AT ALL what this is about. Even if i were 8x6 and that was the only thing you changed in the wall of text above, the outcome would still be the same... Oh yeah also i'm black and 2meters tall.. She might have expected a tad bit more and i probably forgot to write a lot of other issues...

p.s.s I started with " i wanna make this short " this is the shorted down version.
Click to expand...

Question 1 is "are you really small?"
Question 2 is "how big do you want to be?"
 
I feel you bro, my suggestion would be to take some time off from relationships. I would do pe until I felt big before getting into a relationship again. Maybe not the best advice, but as a fellow man I know you want to be happy with your dick size. Additionally you may need to find a girl with a smaller snatch. They are definitely out there. The more humble, soft spoken females usually have a smaller vagina, at least in my experience
 
Lionmaster;532341 said:
I feel you bro, my suggestion would be to take some time off from relationships. I would do pe until I felt big before getting into a relationship again. Maybe not the best advice, but as a fellow man I know you want to be happy with your dick size. Additionally you may need to find a girl with a smaller snatch. They are definitely out there. The more humble, soft spoken females usually have a smaller vagina, at least in my experience
Click to expand...

This is good advise on some levels but potentially dangerous on others. Yes, I wholeheartedly agree, take time away from relationships and get to know yourself. Time spent in independent solitary is extremely valuable to prayer, meditation, reflection and a deeper, more intimate understanding of oneself. During this time Penis Enlargement should be practiced in accordance with any "normal" routine. Increasing intensity when needed, following good healing and cementing techniques, etc. When we have much personal space and time it becomes easier to see gains happen as the freedom gives us opportunity on many levels.

Waiting until you feel you are big enough is a obsessive relationship you do not want to entertain. Giving party to goals like this will only cause mental issues. Do not, and I will repeat, DO NOT become blind to a relationship that may only present itself once because you are waiting on the next quarter inch! That, to me is a terrible crime against one self! There is always preference in body types but if a woman based a relationship solely on penis size I would say she is not the girl for you.

Take pride in yourself NOW, see the future rewards as happening NOW, feel joy NOW! The faster you get into this feeling space the quicker the results will happen.

Wish you the best!\

DLD
 
Your issues in this instance sound like they go beyond simple dick comments, i suggest that you explore your wider life and attempt to ascertain the cause but i definitely get a vibe that you have some issues, specifically relating to inadequacy.
 
You say you are good at oral and fingering but there is always more to learn. There are different sexual positions, different angles that you can point your cock to hit her g spot or cul de sac. How quickly do you cum? Do you masturbate? If you masturbate you probably cum to soon. Learn cures for premature ejaculation ( I'm not saying that you are a premature ejaculator but being able to last longer is always a good thing) such as the stop start method. Look up how to become a multi orgasmic man.

Start some basic Penis Enlargement but don't let it be the be all and end all. Look at the positives about yourself. Stop watching adult entertainment.

Are you overweight? If so get on a diet and exercise regime. Losing weight will make your dick look bigger and give you more confidence. If you are skinny start some strength training - starting strength is a good place to start , you can buy the book or borrow it if you know someone who has it.

Stay in contact with us here on [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words]. Depression grows when you isolate yourself from others.

Try this link:

http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/...id-she-expects-at-LEAST-8-inches-(not-joking)
 
bigdex28;534153 said:
Try this link:

http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/...id-she-expects-at-LEAST-8-inches-(not-joking)
Click to expand...

@OP

^ That was a thread i made a few months ago. I was dating a girl and when i mentioned my size she very honestly admitted "Well to be honest i expect 8 inches at least", and this had me in your exact state of mind, feeling inferior, low self esteem and worthless in the downstairs department. My situation was slightly different in that this was a girl who i had never banged before so i started getting insecure about my size.

If there's any advice i can give you is this:

Work hard and be the best person you can be, hit the gym regularly, work at a new hobby, spend time with friends and stop making it such a big issue. I KNOW first hand how quickly your thoughts can spiral out of control, i used to think "Oh crap i'm only 6.75, i wont be able to satisfy her at all" and then when it came down to it, after i made her orgasm from oral sex multiple times, when i put my penis inside her... her eyes rolled back and she probably thought i was alot bigger than i am.

The simple fact is, girls estimations of size arent the same as guys, whereas we here at [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] can generally identify a 5.5x5 or a 9x6, girls estimations of the same penis would be completely different, and the fact she says she has had bigger doesnt mean a thing. Maybe she was tighter back with her other partners or some other factors have played a role. You need to stop these negative thought processes affecting you because sex is meant to be enjoyed, its not a chore, its not an assignment, so stop stressing.

Read my thread, i was worried for WEEKS, then when it came down to business i nailed her and my insecurities vanished. The girl i was seeing was pretty immature and i later found out that her previous boyfriend had 4.5 inches of length (yes, she even showed me a photo).... so her comment about 8 inches was RIDICULOUS and just served as cannon fodder for my insecurities about penis size. If you are REALLY worried about your size, i say learn how to perform oral sex correctly and efficiently, and once you make her cum a few times from oral, insert your penis and maybe try doggie style as you can hit the G Spot a little better from that position.
 
Dude, you're here because you want an actual bigger penis, so start [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?64036-My-Best-Work-Ever-Penis-Enlargement-will-Be-Changed-Forever-gt-gt-Gain%20inches%20with%20SRT-Theory-and-Routine]SRT[/words]. Buy a [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]penomet[/words] and start growing it.
And focus on your strengths of oral digital while you improve your confidence, also grow from [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?64036-My-Best-Work-Ever-Penis-Enlargement-will-Be-Changed-Forever-gt-gt-Gain%20inches%20with%20SRT-Theory-and-Routine]SRT[/words]. Focus hard for 4 months you could gain an inch and a lot of confidence too.
 
I really don't think your issues has anything to do with your penis size. There are guys out there who are super confident who have small penises. Confidence is what women notice and get turned on by way more than penis size. You have confidence issues, that's what you need to address. Making your penis bigger ain't going to help because it will never be big enough, and if and when it is you will have lost out on so many good opportunities that it won't matter anymore.

Focus on the confidence.
 
RocknRollNinja;534486 said:
I really don't think your issues has anything to do with your penis size. There are guys out there who are super confident who have small penises. Confidence is what women notice and get turned on by way more than penis size. You have confidence issues, that's what you need to address. Making your penis bigger ain't going to help because it will never be big enough, and if and when it is you will have lost out on so many good opportunities that it won't matter anymore.

Focus on the confidence.
Click to expand...


Confidence comes from practice and investment is self improvement. Penis enlargement is only one way to improve oneself, there are many others like getting in shape, working out, etc. I think when a man comes to a point in his life where he desires change, he should go after a complete change of self. Confidence really responds to corrections in the self. If there are parts about yourself that you want to improve, write them down and set some goals. Understand with all you heart and know this is the truth, a bigger penis will not bring relief to past scars and obsessive remnants of self loathing. As the penis gets bigger, allow yourself to also grow bigger in mind, body and soul, always reaching to improve, always looking towards a better future, but forever happy with yourself in the now. This fluctuating moment of the now is where all of our joy is! Do not wait to be happy, start today!

I wrote heavily on this and the atrticles can be found in the Mental Penis Enlargement Forum, very worth the reads.
 
RocknRollNinja;534486 said:
I really don't think your issues has anything to do with your penis size. There are guys out there who are super confident who have small penises. Confidence is what women notice and get turned on by way more than penis size. You have confidence issues, that's what you need to address. Making your penis bigger ain't going to help because it will never be big enough, and if and when it is you will have lost out on so many good opportunities that it won't matter anymore.

Focus on the confidence.
Click to expand...

Confidence is not really going to help any man if his dick is small. The vast majority of women are size-queens. They believe that bigger is better. The average penis is too small for the average vagina.
 
Yo let me tell you something. . .I have not started Penis Enlargement yet. I am having issues with confidence right now too. . .

I was texting a girl friend of mine and the conversation went from words to pictures. . .of her getting out of the shower. . .

I wanted to return the favor but when I got ready to snap a pic I had to suck my stomach in and get some blood flow going. . .

remind you I'm 6" and I'm nearly 8" when I'm using an air pump so my body fat is killing my size. . .

I could not get that big look from any angle at all. . .I felt like shit and this motivates me to get my shit together. I'm just waiting on [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]Penomet[/words] to make their move because I feel like gaining the 4" that I want is going to take hard work but is going to be easy for me at the same time.

Put in those dedicating hours and your girlfriend will say that you are A LOT bigger than them (insert smile here). . .

I promise you. . .we are all going to rise up together. I expect to see some gains bro. Do it for YOU. . .not because your girlfriend unintentionally made you feel bad.
 
smokey622;544302 said:
I promise you. . .we are all going to rise up together. I expect to see some gains bro. Do it for YOU. . .not because your girlfriend unintentionally made you feel bad.
Click to expand...

I totally agree with this...that very mentality is what keeps me going.

When I've tried Penis Enlargement in the past, I was always doing it for a girl, a specific one, thinking I wanted to hurry up and have the biggest dick she's ever seen. When you're doing it for a woman, you'll always feel like you're not gaining fast enough, you'll question too much if your routine is working, you'll stress, and you'll feel like shit all the time if you don't get overnight results. Which is why, even though I had some success (nearly an inch in length), I eventually got discouraged and quit.

This time around, it's all about me. I want to feel great about my own body, which means maximizing my own potential of which my dick (and therefore Penis Enlargement) is just a part.

A huge element of confidence is being the driver in your own life. You know where you're going and you're gonna get there...the girls in your life are along for the ride. Which is honestly how they like it.
 
redthorn;544321 said:
A huge element of confidence is being the driver in your own life.
Click to expand...


Very true! Men need to take control of the things they can and let go and accept the things they can't. Confidence is key in every situation and having a strong sense of self discipline, patience and most of all determination to always strive to be greater. Once a man takes care of himself he is so much more able to care for another.
 
doublelongdaddy;535386 said:
Confidence comes from practice and investment is self improvement. Penis enlargement is only one way to improve oneself, there are many others like getting in shape, working out, etc. I think when a man comes to a point in his life where he desires change, he should go after a complete change of self. Confidence really responds to corrections in the self. If there are parts about yourself that you want to improve, write them down and set some goals. Understand with all you heart and know this is the truth, a bigger penis will not bring relief to past scars and obsessive remnants of self loathing. As the penis gets bigger, allow yourself to also grow bigger in mind, body and soul, always reaching to improve, always looking towards a better future, but forever happy with yourself in the now. This fluctuating moment of the now is where all of our joy is! Do not wait to be happy, start today!

I wrote heavily on this and the atrticles can be found in the Mental Penis Enlargement Forum, very worth the reads.
Click to expand...

I had to quote this. Freakin' amazing post man!!!

If a girl honestly loves a guy, she will NEVER EVER under any circumstances tell him that her previous lovers were HUGE! (with a smile on her face to boot lol).

If it had been me, I would have just told her right then and there "then why are you with me then?" and just walked out, possibly for good.

These guys are absolutely right. There are tons of women out there with smaller vaginas, and women that haven't been ridden around the block. You don't have to put up with that kind of bs at all.

Personally I absolutely hate it when people tell me "just be confident". Please! *sigh*. You need to have something to be confident about, and if you know you have a small penis, how can you be confident? I'm 5.5" bpel, just imagine what women would think of my size?

Also women can be so dumb. Those "huge" guys might have been like 1" longer than you, but shorter and skinnier, so their stuff looked bigger on them, and now due to her misjudging, she destroyed your confidence. What a dumb broad. Hopefully now she can go back to those big cocks she remembers so fondly, and you can find a better girl.
 
Do Penis Enlargement religiously and regularly like taking a piss, something you HAVE to do...Are you 6 NBP or BP? Either way you're low-medium average, but with the mindset you will one day be able to slap her across the face with your cock and make her go crazy...
 
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