How to convince a religious girl...
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9cyclops9
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I agree. And even though she gets her moral standard from the Bible doesn't mean that she is forced to accept those morals. She chose to subscribe to that moral code, so yes, they are her morals, and not just the Bible's.
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Actually, if you want to be Old Testament Biblical, you are already married. As soon as a man has sex with a woman, they are considered married in God's eyes. All you two are really waiting on is the paperwork to go through! 
Being a Christian man, I have to confess that I had pre-marital sex with my wife. She wanted it and I wanted it. I loved her very much and felt married to her when I made love to her. It was the first time I really MEANT it, even though I was still pretty crazy back then.
My wife came from a very religious background. Her parents had a cow when they found out we were living together. I did not come from a religious background. I was extremely wild in my youth and came to my religious beliefs very late. I am still EXTREMELY liberal. I think my wife considers me her heathen husband most of the time.
I think you should respect her moral stand on this issue and cherish her for it. At least you know she's not out fucking some other guy on the sly. Although my wife drives me crazy sometimes with her more conservative religious views, I can at least trust her to have respect for our marriage and for me. That's more than I can say for some other women I have known.
Being a Christian man, I have to confess that I had pre-marital sex with my wife. She wanted it and I wanted it. I loved her very much and felt married to her when I made love to her. It was the first time I really MEANT it, even though I was still pretty crazy back then.
My wife came from a very religious background. Her parents had a cow when they found out we were living together. I did not come from a religious background. I was extremely wild in my youth and came to my religious beliefs very late. I am still EXTREMELY liberal. I think my wife considers me her heathen husband most of the time.
I think you should respect her moral stand on this issue and cherish her for it. At least you know she's not out fucking some other guy on the sly. Although my wife drives me crazy sometimes with her more conservative religious views, I can at least trust her to have respect for our marriage and for me. That's more than I can say for some other women I have known.
PHAROAHPharaoh said:
i'm not sayin' you should disregard your girls religious beliefs but you guys have already opened "pandoras box" so as far as not havin' premarital sex thats already been done.
you say sex is a very important part of a relationship(i agree,bigtime)
when you 2 had sex,how was it? great? good? mediocre? lousy?
if it was great,then maybe she could wait.but i dont know too many women that want to wait for great sex.(and its been 2 months anyway)
if it was good it could prob be improved upon over time.
if it was mediocre,or lousy then i think you would be insane to wait any longer to "see if it will work out " after marriage.on paper marriage is supposed to be a lifetime commitment.you would be pretty pissed off and bummed out if you married this girl and found out you guys were sexualy incompatible.i could go on,and on about this,but i think i got the message out.
i hate to use this old cliche,but you wouldnt buy a car without drivin' it,so why would you want to enter into a long term commitment if you do not even know if you are sexualy compatible?.......you could always get a girlfriend/mistress,but if you did that then why bother bein' married?
WNT2MORE said:
that's a very good point. I would never marry a girl without having had sex. thank god, we already did it and it was quite good. she wasn't experienced at all, so it simply couldn't be spectacular. and after we had sex she sometimes told me that she felt guilty, so obviously she couldn't enjoy the sex completely. but we were definately compatible.
I think we were on a good way, it was getting better all the time.
I feel responsible to let all of you know how things develop since you're all taking part in this.
I was quite frustrated yesterday so I called her. I didn't try to change her mind but I was stupid enough to complain about her decision. It pissed her off and the one guy who said that it would make her push me away was definately right...
anyway, I just talked to her and apologized. I told her that I respect and ACCEPT her decision and that I will wait. She was overwhelmed and couldn't stop thanking me...
I think without you guys advise I would have indeed tried to change her decision, which would have been disastrous.
I'll see her in three weeks and I'll let you know what happened after I come back...
Stuff_ said:Respect her morals and values. It's the best thing you can do for her. It's not all about sex. There's more to life.
It's not about a book, it's about her morals and her values. She is not ignorant, actually she is making an intelligent decision.
couldnt have said it better myself
what I'd like to know from the guys who've been in similar situations:
what do girls who don't want sex before marriage usually think about petting?
do you think I'll at least get a hand- or a blowjob??? :blush:
just did my Penis Enlargement session and I'm horny man...
what do girls who don't want sex before marriage usually think about petting?
do you think I'll at least get a hand- or a blowjob??? :blush:
just did my Penis Enlargement session and I'm horny man...
My advice is to back away from the sex. She is right. Premarital sex is a sin. Even if you dont belive that...she does. If you really love her like you say, then do what she asks of you. Also think of the long term effects on your relationship if you get married. She will want to go to church...do you? Will you for her? Would she quit church or push her religious views away for you? If so, would you both resent it later? As a married man, these are some things you will want to know the answer to. Dont take advantage of her. A true loving relationship sometimes involves putting your wants aside for the other person. I think you know the right answer to this.
flair1981 said:
we talked about that. I wouldn't go to church, she wouldn't quit. respecting each other, that's it.
but I think there are indeed problems that I don't think of right now, but will occur later on.
think of upbringing and stuff...
anyway, I think we're not the only couple who face that problem, it might be hard but I'm sure it's possible to live together.
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I want to say that it seems a good number of the guys on this forum say the word love a lot and don't seem to understand the true meaning. True love is unconditional, meaning it has no bounds. If this young woman wants to not have sex then you should love her anyway. Sex does not have to be a part of a relationship, it happens to be that us guys decide how we feel based on what we get in return. You can tell me I'm wrong all day, but I have been where you are, and it's rough, but you know what I cared about her, I didn't love her I loved her for what she did for me, and I guised it as love so that it would be ok for me to do what "people who love each other do". It's not right. You can say what you want, but read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. You may not believe but if you read what it says it is the true picture of love. Genuine caring, protection, provision, and passion. Think about it. Which one of the qualities mentioned would you not want in your future wife???
Also for those who don't believe I will point out the fact that Christ fulfilled 332 prophecies, and each and every book that contains any prophecy occurs no later than 1000 years before His birth, as verified by several of the governing historical bodies. That's a discussion we had in my world history class, the 4 gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John have been found to be 99.9% accurate by academic standards. This standard has also been verified by archaeological digs, which found all locations descirbed specifically in Matt. and John which seemed to be conflicting, were proven to not be conflicting but the same place. For those who want to persue any of this info I suggest buying or borrowing a copy of The Case for Christ. For anyone who ascribes the label of good moral teacher to Christ think on this, He claimed to be GOD. You can't be a moral teacher if you're 1. Crazy 2. A liar 3. GOD...of all the things Christ was put through which of these seems to be more likely....if you look at the evidence you can only come to one conclusion, but that's up to you.
Also for those who don't believe I will point out the fact that Christ fulfilled 332 prophecies, and each and every book that contains any prophecy occurs no later than 1000 years before His birth, as verified by several of the governing historical bodies. That's a discussion we had in my world history class, the 4 gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John have been found to be 99.9% accurate by academic standards. This standard has also been verified by archaeological digs, which found all locations descirbed specifically in Matt. and John which seemed to be conflicting, were proven to not be conflicting but the same place. For those who want to persue any of this info I suggest buying or borrowing a copy of The Case for Christ. For anyone who ascribes the label of good moral teacher to Christ think on this, He claimed to be GOD. You can't be a moral teacher if you're 1. Crazy 2. A liar 3. GOD...of all the things Christ was put through which of these seems to be more likely....if you look at the evidence you can only come to one conclusion, but that's up to you.
Jesus never claimed to be God.. but that's besides the point. There are books which give prophecies that were fullfilled written since at least 3000 years before his birth.. but that's besides the point. I'm not trying to start a religious debate or anything.. just wanted to point that out. The point is what you said about love is true, real love isn't related at all to sex. That's important to remember, sex is a material thing and real love is not material. Ultimately perfect love is love soley for God Himself, and that is the perfection and purpose of life.
i gotta disagree with those of you that think sexual compatibility is trivial,or unimportant,and that sex does not have to be part of a relationship etc.millionman said:
granted there is a big difference between being IN LOVE ,or IN LUST.being in lust is when the sex you are having with her makes you THINK that you are in love,but when you ARE in love the sex you have is one of the most basic,truest forms of GIVING yourself to her,and her to you. there is a special connection that 2 people in love share through sex which goes beyond just the physical pleasure.it is true that a relationship will not survive on sex alone,but it is also true that the relationship will not survive sexual incompatibility.the only reason most marriages prior to the 1960s lasted a lifetime was societys view of divorce.alot of unhappy couples stayed together because of this.
and while we are talking sex and religion, any of you people that are heavy into the church scene,and are in a sexualy incompatible relationship,dont worry there are 100s of preachers,pastors,and ministers that will be willing to satisfy a unhappy womans basic needs.
i am sure this post will piss a few people off,but this is my opinion and it took me nearly 43 years to form it. i UNDERSTAND the meaning of love,lust,and the difference between the two.i also understand that religion and those who preach it are not always what/who they appeasr to be.
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See I think there are a few that confuse religion, which is man made with faith. and yes Christ claimed to be God, he Said I come from the one who sent me, putting him on equal footing with God, he also said I am Alpha and Omega, again putting him on the same level with God. That is claiming to be God. I have to agree with you, being sexually compatible is neccessary for a relationship to be healthy, as God created sex for us to enjoy, and in the Song of Songs King Solomon and his wife discuss in great depth their passion for one another and also their enjoyment of each other. So yes sex is important in marriage. There's a lot of divorce in this country because of the lack of understanding of what true love is. The rate of divorce in the church is higher than in the secular world, which means that God's people aren't waiting for His best, or the majority of those in Church aren't true believers in Christ. There's a big difference between religion and faith, religion says this is what you do to get or achieve something, faith says I don't have to see to believe and being faithful is also having intimate contact with Christ.
On another note, if a woman or man are unequally yoked together there can be no relationship. If one is Christian and the other atheist, it will not work. In any relationship there must be shared and equal footing, that does not mean being the exact same, but being a help mate for each other it is neccessary to be equally yoked together, no one pulling any more or less than the other.
On another note, if a woman or man are unequally yoked together there can be no relationship. If one is Christian and the other atheist, it will not work. In any relationship there must be shared and equal footing, that does not mean being the exact same, but being a help mate for each other it is neccessary to be equally yoked together, no one pulling any more or less than the other.
For I have not spoken of myself; but the Father which sent me, He gave me a command, what I should say, and what I should speak. And I know that His command is life everlasting: therefore I speak, even as the Father said unto me, so I speak.
(John 12:49-50)
But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence.
(John 14:31)
In the two verses above, God commands Jesus. If Jesus was God, nobody could command him. Moreover, Jesus says that he loves God. Love necessarily requires two parties; the lover and the beloved.
Not trying to start an arguement or anything, but "I come from the one who sent me" means that someone sent him, someone who is separate from him, that person was God. I don't want to get too off topic here though, or offend anyone. I'm sorry if I already have.
It is entirely possible to love someone to the purest degree, with all of your soul, without the slightest bit of sexual contact. We just associate everything materially because that's what we know, but there is nothing inherently wrong with that. The body desires sex, so naturally we want it. In the end the individual makes their own decisions and enjoys/suffers the results, so it's all good.
(John 12:49-50)
But that the world may know that I love the Father; and as the Father gave me commandment, even so I do. Arise, let us go hence.
(John 14:31)
In the two verses above, God commands Jesus. If Jesus was God, nobody could command him. Moreover, Jesus says that he loves God. Love necessarily requires two parties; the lover and the beloved.
Not trying to start an arguement or anything, but "I come from the one who sent me" means that someone sent him, someone who is separate from him, that person was God. I don't want to get too off topic here though, or offend anyone. I'm sorry if I already have.
It is entirely possible to love someone to the purest degree, with all of your soul, without the slightest bit of sexual contact. We just associate everything materially because that's what we know, but there is nothing inherently wrong with that. The body desires sex, so naturally we want it. In the end the individual makes their own decisions and enjoys/suffers the results, so it's all good.
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You have quoted corrctly, but you aren't looking at the entire verse. In John verse 44 Christ begins by saying "When a man believes in me, he does not believe in me only, but in the one who sent me. When he looks at me, he sees the one who sent me. I have come into the world as a light, so that no one who believes should stay in darkness." yes he is saying the one who sent me, but he is also saying and claiming to be God, to be taken from darkness to light is to forgive sins, and only God can forgive sins. How about John 14:6 "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father but by me. If you really knew me you would know my father as well. From now on, you do know Him and have seen Him." He is again putting himself on the level with God by saying he is the only way to God, again the only one capable for forgiving sins is God. At the sametime the end of the verse He points out that if you knew me you would also know the Father, meaning they are one and the same. Then He goes one step further for clarity He says from now on you know Him and have seen Him, because they know Christ and could look at Christ they have also seen God.
Now, I am not trying to simply argue with you, or to prove you wrong. I am simply wanting to show to anyone who does not know or has never read for themselves anything Christ said or have ever wondered about who he really was, that you might see that he did indeed claim diety and he died so that we may live, and that he rose again on the third day.
Ohh, for anyone who wants to know I am not a church person, I was not raised in the church and I don't ascribe to some of the practices of the church. I love Christ, and I have come to know Him by thorugh reading and analysis. The facts are what they are, you have the ability to make the choice. The greatest decision I have ever made was to come into contact with Him. I share this because I love you guys.
Now, I am not trying to simply argue with you, or to prove you wrong. I am simply wanting to show to anyone who does not know or has never read for themselves anything Christ said or have ever wondered about who he really was, that you might see that he did indeed claim diety and he died so that we may live, and that he rose again on the third day.
Ohh, for anyone who wants to know I am not a church person, I was not raised in the church and I don't ascribe to some of the practices of the church. I love Christ, and I have come to know Him by thorugh reading and analysis. The facts are what they are, you have the ability to make the choice. The greatest decision I have ever made was to come into contact with Him. I share this because I love you guys.
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millionman said:
Someone's been reading CS Lewis! Good stuff.
WNT2MORE said:
What's your point? Are religious people the only ones that are hypocrites? Everyone is a hypocrite, so what are you trying to say? Same with your "there are 100s of preachers" thing. There are thousands of men that would be willing to have sex with other men's wives, religious and not. So what's your point? The only point I can see in this statement is that there are men that would be willing to have sex with other men's wives. Sexual incompatibility has nothing to do with a lack of premarital sex. What I mean is, just because I haven't slept with my fiance yet doesn't mean that we won't have amazing sex when we get married, and I'd be willing to bet we'll be screwing like rabbits long after the couple that had sex often before marriage.
Pharaoh said:
This may be. But if she reads the Bible thoroughly, she'll find a verse that says:
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14 KJV)
Now, she may or may not decide to adhere to that verse. After all, it could be taken either literally, or as one man's (the Apostle Paul's) opinion.
I think this is what millionman was referring to when he made that statement.
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True....Cyclops I was looking for that verse, and it was a struggle. I know it by heart but not the book and chapter. On the same token there is the parable of two masters, you can serve and love one, but can only hate the other. The reason for this is you can not be a follower in Christ and stand for the things of the world. Everyone says Christ was a good teacher and he taught love and caring etc., but that's only part of the picture, Christ like God hated sin. He stood against everything the world stands for, simply because Satan has dominion over the world, and there is no righteousness in it. You honestly can't expect two completely different outlooks/philosophies to function together, because at some point the two will clash and cancel each other out, and leave only frustration anger and bitterness.
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