Dick Punches! Most complete exercise EVER

L

Longth

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This one is really simple people.

Step 1: Lay your dick out in front of you on the table. Erect works better but flaccid you can do these bundled and really pound the crap out of your cock.

Step 2: PUNCH THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR COCK. There will be a ton of swelling. You should punch your dick AT LEAST 50 times with ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL FORCE. Pretend it's your mom, and just MURDER THAT COCK.

Step 3: Tie a knot around your dick as tight as you can. Preferably with a hardened duck fat wire. Then chug hard liquor until you black out. Be sure to have pain killers on the ready.

Step 4: Wake up in total agony and behold. You will have an enormous, black cock. All you need to do now is enjoy it until you pass out from the pain or amputate it. I recommend amputation cause that shit is infected dude. You black out again and you're going to just straight up die.

Step 5: Amputate penis.

Step 6: Get your amputated penis stuffed so you can put it on display above your television.

Step 7: Get bionic dick.

Step 8: wish you had your old not bionic dick.

I'm bored
 
Longth;625165 said:
This one is really simple people.

Step 1: Lay your dick out in front of you on the table. Erect works better but flaccid you can do these bundled and really pound the crap out of your cock.

Step 2: PUNCH THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR COCK. There will be a ton of swelling. You should punch your dick AT LEAST 50 times with ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL FORCE. Pretend it's your mom, and just MURDER THAT COCK.

Step 3: Tie a knot around your dick as tight as you can. Preferably with a hardened duck fat wire. Then chug hard liquor until you black out. Be sure to have pain killers on the ready.

Step 4: Wake up in total agony and behold. You will have an enormous, black cock. All you need to do now is enjoy it until you pass out from the pain or amputate it. I recommend amputation cause that shit is infected dude. You black out again and you're going to just straight up die.

Step 5: Amputate penis.

Step 6: Get your amputated penis stuffed so you can put it on display above your television.

Step 7: Get bionic dick.

Step 8: wish you had your old not bionic dick.

I'm bored
Click to expand...

I will make the video for this!
 
Made me laugh sooo much!! Should stickied in the newbie section! 😂😂😆
 
I was making the video but i passed out during stage 2. guess my cock will have to remain the same :(
 
youknowme123321;625226 said:
I was making the video but i passed out during stage 2. guess my cock will have to remain the same :(
Click to expand...

LMAO

Clearly you need to be black out drunk for it to work!
 
youknowme123321;625226 said:
I was making the video but i passed out during stage 2. guess my cock will have to remain the same :(
Click to expand...

And post what you have so we know what you did wrong!
 
Should I add a disclaimer?

Or maybe it'd be more fitting if Satyre did?
 
Sounds as good as sticking your penis in a jar of wasps. I have actually seen that one posted before.
 
omg i jumped from 6' girth to 7" girth this really works , though i reccomen dropping a 50 pd weight on it insetad of a punch remeber the higher you drop it the more force builds up at impact:)
 
Actually, a hammer works best. Multiple whacks up and down the entire shaft until you black out.
 
Common guys I just replaced my dick with a elephant trunk. But there is only one problem whenever I come across sugar cane my dick pops out and stuffs sugar cane in my ass. Lol
 
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