&?#$ my wife says. The insider's guide to female sexuality.

[LOBBS]

This post was inspired by a comment I made over in the girth poll. Since I'm starting this thread from my phone, I guess this first post will be mostly introductory because there's a helluva lot to type.

My wife and I have been married for almost 12 years. We've always had a strong sex life. Even to this day, we don't go more than a couple of days without some kind of sexual activity. We've always been very comfortable talking about sex with each other and have pretty much explored whatever kink the other can think of. We've got a history of swinging. We've never lived the full blown "lifestyle" but we haven't turned down many opportunities that have presented themselves either. This last time the itch came around we decided to explore the open marriage thing.

Let's just accept as fact that everyone on earth is unique. Everyone's sexuality is shaped by their own personality and their experiences. Nobody flirts, touches, kisses, gropes, feels (texturally), smells, tastes and screws exactly like anyone else. That's the biggest thrill of swinging and open marriage. Being allowed to relive all that excitement and variety without fear of reprisal. Obviously, it requires a huge amount of trust and communication to work. And those conversations I've had with my wife and the women I've met during this experience is the genesis of this thread.

Now what makes the women of my life different? Why would they be more honest? With my wife and I, we've just come to accept that we crave some variety at times. There's only so much you can really change about yourself. You can learn some new tricks but you can never be somebody completely "new". As far as the others, most of the women I've met that are interested in this arrangement have been bored housewives, divorcees or single girls not looking for commitment. They are sexually charged women who aren't or weren't getting what they needed and aren't afraid to let you know about it. They aren't sizing me up for marriage or even anything long term so they have no reason to bull#$@! me. If they can't tell me what was missing how the hell could they expect to get it from me?

So grab some popcorn and take a seat as I let you in on some secrets I've learned along the way.

 

[MikeShlort]

Thank you!

 

[8incyclops]

I'm interested do girls stay virgin for marriage these days?

 

[pUNKY]

you had me at 'a guide to female sexuality'....popcorn ready

 

[LOBBS]

#1 Size does matter but its not everything.

Might as well drop the holy grail to start this all off. The most important thing you can ever learn about women and their sexuality is that it is as much mental and emotional as it is physical. Woman desire sex as much as men. Most want it at least daily. But they are much more complicated. More "stars" have to align for them to get in the mood. And most importantly, women need orgasms every bit as much as a man. You can get away with the occasional quickie or off night but if you can't get her off on a regular basis she will look elsewhere or shut down the sex factory.

We're guys so I'll throw out an analogy to help visualize. Imagine a woman's ability to climax as a score to attain or beat. Cock size is one factor that gets scored. Average and bigger gets bonus points, less than average loses points. Same goes for general physical appearance. We all kinda knew that, that's why we are here. A big dick or a hot bod can get you laid the first time. But don't expect an invite back unless your other scores get you over the orgasm threshold.

So, what's the next factor? Technique and acumen. It doesn't matter what kinda pipe you're swinging if you can't use the thing or blow your load in two minutes. The novelty will wear off quickly. So you gotta mix things up, learn some new tricks and try some new positions. There are plenty of techniques to help you last longer (breathing, Kegels, edging). Now most women's sex "timer" starts at kissing and fondling, not penetration. So when they say they made love for hours its generally inclusive of foreplay. This is where you can pick up some serious bonus points. Most women don't care how they cum, just that they do. It could be on your shaft, mouth, fingers or toys. So get some practice in on your oral, learn how to properly finger (especially g-spot/squirting techniques) and get over you phobia of toys. Also, foreplay does not start between her thighs. Unless she directs you southward, she is expecting you to spend some time north of the equator.

Now that you're about halfway there, let's get into the hard stuff. The mental and emotional scores. This really is a sliding scale depending on the maturity of the relationship. Early on, when everything's new and exciting, the physical and technique plays a more prominent role. As a relationship grows, the mental and emotional side of things require more attention. That is why sex in marriage tapers off. The number one complaint from bored housewives and divorcees? Selfish and/or indifferent men. Not a single one has ever mentioned cock size to me as the primary reason for their unhappiness. This extends far outside the bedroom.

If a woman is not in the proper place mentally and emotionally it is NOT going to happen. They think and dwell and plan and worry constantly. These stresses drain away from her sexual energy. If you're not getting laid on a regular basis, you more than likely have got some work to do outside of the bedroom first. If you're married or in an otherwise committed relationship, start doing some laundry or dishes, helping with the kids or knocking a couple of things off the honey do list. Be consistent in doing so and do not draw attention to the fact you did them. She already knows. Absolutely never do a household chore and demand a sexual favor in return, it will not end well. Relieving some of these burdens from her triggers that little corner of her primal mind that makes you a more attractive mate. She needs to feel appreciated, loved and secure. You need to say these things constantly. Little gestures are cumulative and go much farther in the long run than an occasional big date night. Most girls are raised to be little princesses, all prim and proper. They are led to believe that they should be ashamed of their animalistic, carnal desires so you have to provide an environment of trust and security so that she can unleash her wilder side.

Before anyone calls bull@#?$ on me, let one of your trusted female companions read this first. Then come talk to me.

 

[tyv]

Good read, can't wait for part 2

 

[LOBBS]

I can't figure out how to go back and edit through my phone so consider this an addendum to the mental and emotional section.

Women have to communicate. A lot. It's hard wired into their coding. Learn how to listen. A lot of the time, they aren't looking for your opinion or help with "fixing" the situation. They just need to get it off their chests. If they do need your input, they'll usually prompt you. Also, remember the important things, even the little ones. If your memory sucks, jot it down on a piece of paper (obviously not right in front of her) and keep it in your wallet.

 

[MikeShlort]

Very nice post. Sounds like you know what you're talking about. Thanks for this

 

[kitfisto]

This is great.
You've worded it nicely, and being a virgin, I can get a good grasp of what you are talking about.
My popcorn and penis is ready.

Someone should seriously sticky this thread. More updates please!

 

[pUNKY]

brilliant work

 

[DLD]

brilliant work

More! More! More!

I wish I had a trusted companion but I do not I still chose to reply

 

[8incyclops]

This is all common knowledge isn't it we should all know this

 

[MikeShlort]

This is all common knowledge isn't it we should all know this

I'm sure not everyone here is great with women.

 

[DLD]

I'm sure not everyone here is great with women.

Me being one of them

 

[LOBBS]

This is all common knowledge isn't it we should all know this

That's kinda what I was getting at in starting this thread. These are the things that women who weren't getting what they wanted related to me in confidence. This is what they felt was missing. The more we men can and should know, the better our chances at having a fulfilling sex life.

Believe me, I'm not shy about sharing some of our "man-isms" with my wife as she sorts through her own adventures on her side of this open marriage. Women are just as naive, at times, about what our actions and mannerisms mean too.

If something I put out here, no matter how obvious to some, helps one person get more from their sex life then I've done some good.

 

[LOBBS]

At the sake of too much information, I'm posting this enjoying my post-coidal cigarette. My wife had her boy A over earlier. He's a big dude pushing about 8 by 5.5-5.75, a little bigger than myself. And yeah, I've seen the little video they made to verify. Anyways, in the couple of months they've been messing around he's not once gotten her off. He's extremely selfish with the emotional IQ of a tree stump. As soon as he did his thing and was on his way, she texted me at work to be sure I was getting home on time. He may be swinging a little more wood but I damn sure will take care of business and she knows it.

 

[DLD]

Talk about OPenis EnlargementN!

 

[MikeShlort]

This may be counter productive to your thread, but at the same thing it may be helpful to anyone thinking what I am thinking reading this. First off, I really want to thank you for writing this, because so many people don't talk the dirty truth and everyone is so PC it makes me sick. I am intrigued by what you write.

But at the same time, I've lately been coming to the conclusion that women are so needy, that it might not be my fault at all that I can't please them alone. I am very seriously leaning towards not really caring about being alone, as I look at need as something that is pathetic to me - we all need, but most of us take it in small doses and put the rest of our time towards progressing in something. I used to be a filthy addict, and to me, how is that any different than a woman needing to perpetually be entertained by another human. I was entertained by a substance, they are entertained by someone else. I am really starting to not care nearly as much about being a cynical, miserable loaner, because I feel it disgusts me how selfish and needy women are. I am just not sure the game is worth playing, however, since I am no longer a dysfunctional member of society, I still will keep on my path to being able to play the game the best of my ability for the sake of my pride, just in my own way.
I definitely did not write this how I think and feel it in my head, but this is the gist of it. Hopefully someone who is thinking what I am thinking will read this and see my point.

 

[anth1225]

I've got a couple things to say: first @ Lobbs is why does your wife bother with mr. insensitive? Talk about frustration and not even worth it.

2nd @ Mikeschlort: Bottom line dude we are all selfish. But you are young and I believe many young women have no idea how to be a woman. Society encourages their focus on themselves and they are selfish babies.

Having said that there is nothing more unselfish than a mothers love. Being a dad, maturing into the role as I was just a brain dead kid with no clue at the start either, no one taught me to be a man either, I've watched my wife mature also.

You can't change anyone but yourself; but you can also help along someone you love and mature together helping each other along. It won't be easy for both of you but remember: Love is a feeling but it's more than that: it's a decision

 

[kitfisto]

This is all common knowledge isn't it we should all know this

Not everyone is a love god like you pal.

 

[LOBBS]

I've got a couple things to say: first @ Lobbs is why does your wife bother with mr. insensitive? Talk about frustration and not even worth it.

They actually hadn't hooked up in about six weeks. Things had wound down and she hadn't bothered to invite him over. So he called last night and she took a flyer on him and got the same results. I really wouldn't expect her to bother with him much more.

 

[MikeShlort]

I've got a couple things to say: first @ Lobbs is why does your wife bother with mr. insensitive? Talk about frustration and not even worth it.

2nd @ Mikeschlort: Bottom line dude we are all selfish. But you are young and I believe many young women have no idea how to be a woman. Society encourages their focus on themselves and they are selfish babies.

Having said that there is nothing more unselfish than a mothers love. Being a dad, maturing into the role as I was just a brain dead kid with no clue at the start either, no one taught me to be a man either, I've watched my wife mature also.

You can't change anyone but yourself; but you can also help along someone you love and mature together helping each other along. It won't be easy for both of you but remember: Love is a feeling but it's more than that: it's a decision

I have to disagree with you.

In this case, she isn't young. He said they have been married about 12 years, which would likely make them in their 30s. 30s is not young. So that voids your first point.

Second, I believe tons of people have children for selfish reasons - mainly an easy way to find meaning and fulfillment in life. It's a lot easier to breed than to spend years finding out what you are meant to do and working towards that. I've seen enough garbage parents in my time to know this as fact.

 

[crabman]

Good read!

 

[LOBBS]

Yeah, I'm 33 and my wife will be 30 here in a few months. We were just young, dumb kids when we got married. We have four children and love them and each other deeply. I'd take a bullet for her and I'd put one in anybody that hurt her. We matured together. We are at a point where we trust each other to explore our urges and desires in a secure environment.

 

[DLD]

Yeah, I'm 33 and my wife will be 30 here in a few months. We were just young, dumb kids when we got married. We have four children and love them and each other deeply. I'd take a bullet for her and I'd put one in anybody that hurt her. We matured together. We are at a point where we trust each other to explore our urges and desires in a secure environment.

Very good to know you guys can do this, shows extreme maturity and confidence.

 

[MikeShlort]

Maybe the first post I agree with!:blush:

You agree with everything I say hep, you just don't want to admit it Don't worry, you're not the only one

 

[DLD]

You agree with everything I say hep, you just don't want to admit it Don't worry, you're not the only one

yeah, so do I

 

[Gravik]

OP, do you have a big dick?

 

[LOBBS]

OP, do you have a big dick?

Not huge but nothing to be ashamed of either. 7.25" BPenis EnlargementL x 5.25" MSEG. My goal through Penis Enlargement is a true 8" by 6". As I stated in my introductory post somewhere on the site, I'm also in the process of losing some weight and by eliminating as much of my fat pad as possible I'll attain most of my length goals. I'm focusing mainly on packing on girth. I originally looked into Penis Enlargement because my wife has had four kids. It hasn't wrecked our sex life by any stretch of the imagination but at times she gets self-conscious that she may not be as tight as she was when we first got together. I figured I could help her out by growing a bit to compensate. It also wouldn't hurt my feelings any to have a bit more of the "wow" factor since I am allowed to go out and play.

 

[MikeShlort]

Not huge but nothing to be ashamed of either. 7.25" BPenis EnlargementL x 5.25" MSEG. My goal through Penis Enlargement is a true 8" by 6". As I stated in my introductory post somewhere on the site, I'm also in the process of losing some weight and by eliminating as much of my fat pad as possible I'll attain most of my length goals. I'm focusing mainly on packing on girth. I originally looked into Penis Enlargement because my wife has had four kids. It hasn't wrecked our sex life by any stretch of the imagination but at times she gets self-conscious that she may not be as tight as she was when we first got together. I figured I could help her out by growing a bit to compensate. It also wouldn't hurt my feelings any to have a bit more of the "wow" factor since I am allowed to go out and play.

I have a good [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] routine I can give you, I'll hunt it down I have it posted on one of these threads. Two routines actually.

 

[Sex Fancy]

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[crabman]

wtf? ^

 

[MikeShlort]

Heres those routines LOBBS

Here's the routines that gave me that 1.5" girth pump and gave me about a .4" permanent girth gain from 2.5 months of doing these routines.

*****The most important reason why I had that 1.5" pump is because immediately after my last [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] set, I would dry off and tie a bathrobe cord around my balls and penis. Then I'd go to bed. I'd get nighttime erections all night while I was tied off (i imagine you can clamp off or use a cock ring) and the girth stayed all night until I took off the cord. Even after I took off the cord, it slowly decreased back to around 6" girth (my size when I was pumping regularly) but was still fat for a couple hours.*******

I've just cut and pasted form another forum where i posted these exercises to help a newb. I can't take credit for the last one, it's Dan Clizers routine. He gained 1.5" permanent girth in 10 months of pumping with [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]X-40[/words].

first routine: I suggest doing this routine for two months, or until you stop noticing gains. But you should continue to notice gains if you keep upping the intensity.
- Start off with a warm up
- Do 200 regular jelqs
- Pump for 5 minutes - start off low pressure but throughout the 5 minutes, keep pumping to add pressure. Don't go fast, do what you can handle. If you pump too much too quickly, you'll just be wasting your time and making your dick hurt the next day, which fucks up your next workout. I would say don't get to full pressure on the pump until a week into this routine
- Do 100 slow jelqs
- Do 150 jelqs at various angles (down, to the side, up etc) and various speeds
- Pump for 5 minutes
- Do 100 regular jelqs

** Make sure you are 95%-100% erect when jelqing and when you're sliding into the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] and pumping.

Now here is the most important part of this routine:
Each night, Add this to the routine:
- 10 more regular jelqs
- 15 seconds more of time in the pump
- 5 more slow jelqs
- 5 more jelqs at various angles
- 15 seconds more time in the pump
- 10 more regular jelqs

In time, this routine will take long. After a few weeks, you could add a third set of pumping at the end, after the regular jelqs. Just stay in the pump for whatever time you happen to be at after the 15 second increments. (Should be around 8.5 minutes after two weeks)

I'd do this routine until you're at 15-20 minutes at a time in the pump. You can add more reps/minutes in pump as you see fit once you get the hang of it and your body clues (your penis telling you that it can handle more and will gain from it)

Second routine:

This is after you've stopped gaining with that routine - and give the first routine a fair go. Do it proper and stick to it.

300 jelqs
6 minutes in pump, followed by 1 minute out of the pump, then back into the pump again for 6 minutes. Do 6 sets of 6.
At the end, do 600 jelqs (or more if you feel you can handle it and won't be over training).
You can mix it up by doing some jelqs in between sets if you want. Note that the pump in your penis will go down during this time, but it's still good to get in jelqs between sets then back into the pump.
You can add more time to the 6 minute sets, or add more sets, in time
You can do this routine twice a day, or three times a day, in time. IF your body can take it. Over training is worse than under training.

These are pretty basic pumping/jelqing routines.
A user here put it best (stillwantmore2):
"Pumping is what should be done after all the real girth work has been done"
After time, you can get into clamping
Check out all the other advanced manual girth exercises. There is more than just jelqing. But this is with time.

WHY NOT MILK GAINING WITH SIMPLE ROUTINES AND EXERCISES WHILE YOU CAN?? NO SENSE JUMPING INTO ADVANCED STUFF WHEN YOU CAN GAIN WITH SIMPLE EXERCISES.
This is the most important idea of Penis Enlargement.

 

[MikeShlort]

Keep in mind to use caution when wearing a cock ring or tieing off for that long. I tied off loosely and still had blood flow, I could still piss and get erections and such, so be careful.
You can do the routine without tying off, you'll have less of a pump and it'll go away quicker, but you'll still gain

 

[LOBBS]

Thanks, Mike. I'll give that a try. I've been primarily doing DLD's newbie [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] routine.

 

[MikeShlort]

Thanks, Mike. I'll give that a try. I've been primarily doing DLD's newbie [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] routine.

You can even try switching it up, maybe try this one two days a week and keep DLD's routine the rest of the week. Keep the penis guessing, the more exercises the better.

 

[DLD]

You can even try switching it up, maybe try this one two days a week and keep DLD's routine the rest of the week. Keep the penis guessing, the more exercises the better.

Keeping things fun and interesting is very important to motivation. Having flexibility in the exercises/equipment you use can make a big difference.

 

[tyv]

Heres those routines LOBBS

Here's the routines that gave me that 1.5" girth pump and gave me about a .4" permanent girth gain from 2.5 months of doing these routines.

~

Nice routines, thanks for posting.

 

[huge-girth]

You agree with everything I say hep, you just don't want to admit it Don't worry, you're not the only one

I agree with you too brother. Women can be very selfish and too needy. Relationships and marriages feel like a full time job. Very draining in my opinion and sometimes not worth it.

 

[DLD]

I agree with you too brother. Women can be very selfish and too needy. Relationships and marriages feel like a full time job. Very draining in my opinion and sometimes not worth it.

Women ugggghhh

 

[Haursen]

I agree with you too brother. Women can be very selfish and too needy. Relationships and marriages feel like a full time job. Very draining in my opinion and sometimes not worth it.

From Perplexity AI:

What are the health benefits of being married?

Research indicates that marriage offers several significant health benefits:

1. Longevity: Married people tend to live longer than their unmarried counterparts, with an average of two additional years of life expectancy[1][3].

2. Cardiovascular health: Married individuals have a lower risk of heart attacks and strokes, and are more likely to survive a heart attack[1][2].

3. Cancer outcomes: Married people are more likely to detect cancer earlier and have higher survival rates[1][2].

4. Mental health: Marriage is associated with lower rates of depression and better overall mental health[1][2].

5. Healthy behaviors: Married individuals often engage in healthier lifestyles, including better eating habits, less smoking and excessive drinking, and more regular medical check-ups[1][3].

6. Immune function: Happy marriages are linked to stronger immune function and lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol[1].

7. Social support: Marriage provides a sense of belonging and increased opportunities for social engagement, which can reduce feelings of loneliness and improve overall health[3].

8. Inflammation reduction: Healthy marriages are associated with lower levels of chronic inflammation, which is linked to various diseases[3].

These benefits are often attributed to factors such as mutual support, accountability for health behaviors, and increased social integration. However, it's important to note that the quality of the marriage plays a significant role in these health outcomes[1][2][3].

Citations:
[1] The health advantages of marriage - Harvard Health The health advantages of marriage - Harvard Health
[2] Surprising health benefits of marriage - Baylor Scott & White Health Surprising health benefits of marriage
[3] Marriage provides health benefits – and here's why Marriage provides health benefits – and here’s why
[4] A Guide to the Legal, Financial, and Health Benefits of Marriage A Guide to the Legal, Financial, and Health Benefits of Marriage
[5] The Health Benefits of Marriage - Focus on the Family The Health Benefits of Marriage

 

[oldandlively]

From Perplexity AI:

What are the health benefits of being married?

Research indicates that marriage offers several significant health benefits:

1. Longevity: Married people tend to live longer than their unmarried counterparts, with an average of two additional years of life expectancy[1][3].

2. Cardiovascular health: Married individuals have a lower risk of heart attacks and strokes, and are more likely to survive a heart attack[1][2].

3. Cancer outcomes: Married people are more likely to detect cancer earlier and have higher survival rates[1][2].

4. Mental health: Marriage is associated with lower rates of depression and better overall mental health[1][2].

5. Healthy behaviors: Married individuals often engage in healthier lifestyles, including better eating habits, less smoking and excessive drinking, and more regular medical check-ups[1][3].

6. Immune function: Happy marriages are linked to stronger immune function and lower levels of stress hormones like cortisol[1].

7. Social support: Marriage provides a sense of belonging and increased opportunities for social engagement, which can reduce feelings of loneliness and improve overall health[3].

8. Inflammation reduction: Healthy marriages are associated with lower levels of chronic inflammation, which is linked to various diseases[3].

These benefits are often attributed to factors such as mutual support, accountability for health behaviors, and increased social integration. However, it's important to note that the quality of the marriage plays a significant role in these health outcomes[1][2][3].

Citations:
[1] The health advantages of marriage - Harvard Health The health advantages of marriage - Harvard Health
[2] Surprising health benefits of marriage - Baylor Scott & White Health Surprising health benefits of marriage
[3] Marriage provides health benefits – and here's why Marriage provides health benefits – and here’s why
[4] A Guide to the Legal, Financial, and Health Benefits of Marriage A Guide to the Legal, Financial, and Health Benefits of Marriage
[5] The Health Benefits of Marriage - Focus on the Family The Health Benefits of Marriage

But rememember that it takes a lot, I mean A - L-O-T of work to keep the marriage healthy and happy. For a guy that has been married for 24 years, there were and still are many rollercoasters ride. To keep the marriage healthy is close to a Herculean task, and to keep the marriage happy all the time requires you to have a mind, heart, and behavior close to a saint. I'm no saint. But God blessed me with the tenacity to deal with my wife and kids without giving up. I'm applying that to my PE as well.

 

[Hymen Lover]

Thank you!

Some do and some meet me