I have suffered with body dysmorphia...... for a long long time. 7th grade to be exact. That was the first time ever being in a locker room, and seeing larger units (LA, so 80% are brothas...showers) and fitter physiques.
As a child (think 9yrs old), my father had an obsession with the male genitalia, and all the art, statues, novelty, etc. I was exposed to BIG ASS COCKS AT A SUPER YOUNG AGE.
My father was also a really good leatherman. He could whip up a gimp suit with no trouble. So he started selling all sorts of stuff, and eventually opened a adult entertainment shop...... IN THE FRONT OF OUR HOUSE!!!
Went with him to the wholesaler, and they would give me Heavy Metal Magazine to read. Love that rag! Anyways, I was super insecure throughout my entire childhood.
7th grade us when I started becoming depressed, and overweight. This started the snowball effect, ruining my confidence, and ultimately making me shy and ashamed.
My father passed away a few years ago. It was devastating, as I had sought a close relationship with him, and he was so screwed up from eating pills and killing himself that his brain was not where it used to be. This was the moment we were able to finally connect. He was a genius, but let the darkness get him. He was so smart, that he new exactly what to take, down to the mg, to completely stop his heart. This was 2 days after our connection.
My point in sharing these extremely personal issues, is to show you that there is a brilliant white light. Read my sig brother... WE got this!!