Obsessions destroying me

I will try to make this short as possible.

I am an 18 year old freshman in college. My size is 6.75 BPEL and 5.5 MEG, 3.5-4 inch FL, 4.25 inch FG. I am a virgin. My first sexual experience was two weeks ago with a hooker in the ghetto. She jacked me off and blew me, but I still could not get erect.

In the past few years, I started getting nervous about my size. Got into cuckold ����. Internalized a lot of things despite being above average. Had a few girlfriends, could never have sex with them because I was scared of not getting erect. Stopped getting morning erections, spontaneous erections, and sex drive plummeted. I cannot even get myself that hard for masturbation. I can get myself just hard enough to jelq. This all happened between the ages of 14 and 18.

Currently, I have a girl who I have been hanging out a lot with. I find her attractive, but I am more nervous than aroused. Want to lose my virginity, but I am worried.

I have seen therapists, but they have not helped. Do any of you have any advice or similar experiences?

EGOD;607460 said:

I will try to make this short as possible.

I am an 18 year old freshman in college. My size is 6.75 BPEL and 5.5 MEG, 3.5-4 inch FL, 4.25 inch FG. I am a virgin. My first sexual experience was two weeks ago with a hooker in the ghetto. She jacked me off and blew me, but I still could not get erect.

In the past few years, I started getting nervous about my size. Got into cuckold ����. Internalized a lot of things despite being above average. Had a few girlfriends, could never have sex with them because I was scared of not getting erect. Stopped getting morning erections, spontaneous erections, and sex drive plummeted. I cannot even get myself that hard for masturbation. I can get myself just hard enough to jelq. This all happened between the ages of 14 and 18.

Currently, I have a girl who I have been hanging out a lot with. I find her attractive, but I am more nervous than aroused. Want to lose my virginity, but I am worried.

I have seen therapists, but they have not helped. Do any of you have any advice or similar experiences?

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It sounds like compounded obsessive thinking that is causing your erectile dysfunction. This line of thought piles new negative thoughts on top of old that work to confirm the negative behavior. PE will help with erections but it will not help with the way you are thinking. You need a good experience to counter all these bad experiences. I think you are a perfect person for Viagra, this will help you facilitate and erection with not much thought and after a couple times using it, it will spike your confidence and start to peal away these layers of discouragement. Have you tried Viagra yet?

That sounds along the lines of what I was thinking. I just never had a way to stop the thoughts from occurring.

I have never tried and I would definitely be open to trying it. Where would be a good place to get Viagra? Should I just try to get it from a doctor?

change the way you think and your reality will be different trust me , i had the same fear as you itll eat you away if you think like that just think if i can get myself hard then that means a girl can cuz girls feels better then me and if you really want dont masterbate for like a month just edge and kegal all day everyday "i lost my viriginty not getting hard and it fucked with ym head for awhile" now im harder then ever and longer/thicker dont let that first exeprience determine the outcome to your current experiences i wasnt getting morning wood eathier now i am though i never get random erections ever during the day dont worry about that ... oh and i at times couldnt get hard just fropm myself super sad moments it all happened to me i beleive because of that first eexperience that fucked with my head as soon as i let it go from my head i got my manhood back ... reset your thought process itll take a month at tops to reset it ... you get hard everytime for girls you get erections in the morning you get hard wheneevr stimulated !!!1

I understand what you are saying. What did you actually do to change your thoughts?

first off i said why is it i can make myself hard soemtines but not others cuz if i really did have a problem i couldnt get hard at all then what i did was before i whent to bed i told myself id wakupoe with morning wood every night for like 2 weeks also in that time frame from time to time when negatuive thoughts came in i told myself im triping i get hard all the time i was just nervous m y first time dont connect your first experience with your next one cuz your just making synapes that connect to not getting an erection and thats what we wanna change tell youself you get hard all the time beleive what you say cuz you are more powerful then you think you are mind body conection , catch yourself when you think negative and change it into positive ... know this theres is allways something you can do to get hard but dont go to that altirnative till you try to fix the problem also i stopped watching ���� for like 2 weeks they say some people that watch ���� and masterbate connect that in a way that they can only get hard for ���� but not girls but remeber it only takes 28 days or so to change the way you think in a month youll have erections i promise

EGOD;607546 said:

That sounds along the lines of what I was thinking. I just never had a way to stop the thoughts from occurring.

I have never tried and I would definitely be open to trying it. Where would be a good place to get Viagra? Should I just try to get it from a doctor?

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doctor would be the most affordable route to take

EGOD;607546 said:

That sounds along the lines of what I was thinking. I just never had a way to stop the thoughts from occurring.

I have never tried and I would definitely be open to trying it. Where would be a good place to get Viagra? Should I just try to get it from a doctor?

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Viagra is going to be the smartest first step that may complete solve your problems. Try Alldaychemist, they are inexpensive and give you your script online.

I second using alldaychemist (.com) I forget how I heard of them originally but they have the best prices I've seen. Make sure you check out their "double pills" offers! Whatever quantity you buy, you get that quantity free.

egod just go to the gas station lol you dont need a supply you need like 1-2 its all in your head

gayron36;607754 said:

I second using alldaychemist (.com) I forget how I heard of them originally but they have the best prices I've seen. Make sure you check out their "double pills" offers! Whatever quantity you buy, you get that quantity free.

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Oh shit, that is a deal I can't pass up...off to ADC!

Great! I will go order some.

Damn pills and more pills

if i were you, i would be working on getting myself healthy, and physichally attacking the ed issues (e.g. with viagra as others have mentioned).

then comes your mindset. you have to change the way you think and view things. consider that the way you view the world is unique to you, no one will truly view it the same. therefore, with all these versions of reality floating around in everyones head, which reality is true?

if you create your own reality, as in choose to view things a certain way or believe certain things, even if you do not truly believe what you are telling yourself, it will have an effect. the mind is a brilliant thing, and even when it knows its being delusional, it will still beleive what it is told to some degree. create positive delusions for yourself, and they will manifest themselves into positive changes

jordey;614127 said:

then comes your mindset. you have to change the way you think and view things. consider that the way you view the world is unique to you, no one will truly view it the same. therefore, with all these versions of reality floating around in everyones head, which reality is true?

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As someone who has depression half the year and mania the other half I can vouch for what you are saying. My life does not vary in what I do daily, I am very predictable. Every situation in my life remains the same year after year so I can not blame my depression on my situation. It is definitely the perspective that changes and the situation that seemed like hell eventually seems like Heaven. What changes is hard to say, we have been working on trying to find what the reasons are for my unreal mood changes but have not come up with anything more than when the seasons change I change. For me the depression goes away in the late fall and early winter, no clues, no reason, just a huge change. From here I lose all the weight I gained during the depression, again, I change nothing in diet, I just seem to change. I feel for every Brother that goes through this and I wish there were a way to change it for good. I have tried every medication in the book, non of which really help at all, it is just when my mind changes it changes. This year we have kept very close records of patterns in my life to try to see reasons and we are doing this without medications, I really hope we come up with solid answers. In the meantime I pray for my Brothers and myself that the Lord will give us the relief we so desperately need.

@jordy that is exactly what I am doing. I am lifting weights three times a week. Eating a strict diet consisting of mainly chicken, fish, fruit, and vegetables. I am also taking vitamin d and fish oil.

In terms of the mental aspect, I am seeing a psychiatrist and am going to be getting cognitive treatment (emdr, guided imagery).

EGOD;614417 said:

In terms of the mental aspect, I am seeing a psychiatrist and am going to be getting cognitive treatment (emdr, guided imagery).

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Excellent to hear! I am working with a psychotherapist that uses these same techniques. She is much more into cognitive therapy over medication therapy. It is far better for the mind to make a change for itself that better the man then to stunt the emotions with medications. I have been on that roller coaster for years and it has never helped me. I am hopeful that this years work with my new therapist and her cognitive practices will help me more than the crap I have been through for 20 years. I will keep you in my prayers and I wish you the best my Brother.

Thank you Dld! That really means a lot. You will be in my prayers as well. I have been really trying my best to stay off of medication. Hopefully, I will continue to do so. I have not yet gotten Viagra because I already have some generic cialis. I do not know good it is though. I took one 20 mg pill just to test it out and within an hour my face just flushed and that was it.
I almost lost my virginity last week, but I was so nervous that I couldn't get an erection. The problem is not just nervousness for me. I just feel desensitized. I don't get morning wood, spontaneous erections, or anything. Also, very low sex drive. I am hoping that continuing to jelq, stretch, kegel, and not watch ���� will fix this.

I have decided that I am going to forget cialis and get Viagra. Where do I find it on alldaychemist?

EGOD;614588 said:

I have decided that I am going to forget cialis and get Viagra. Where do I find it on alldaychemist?

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It's on there listed under "kamagra".

Why are you dropping the idea of taking cialis?