Going back out there... a story or two

Hello all,

I have a few stories for any that are bored enough to read. I also share in hopes to help any others in a position similar to mine and to provide a window into another angle of life for those who are not.

First of all, I was in a relationship with a much older woman for 11 or so years. Sex was basic and simple, and I never had issues getting her off or with performance.

I ended that relationship last year and jumped into a long distance romance with a woman across the country. I connected deeply to this woman, but she was unable to progress in the relationship for personal reasons and left me needy and lonely. We never met, but spent time together daily for 9 months. I know, kinda lame, but I actually loved this woman. Things have been really rocky because I wanted to progress and she wouldn't budge, and she'd get very upset with me. I just backed out of the relationship and began looking desperately for someone to connect to to meet my needs.

A little background: I am in my mid 30s. I am into healthy living and eating. I exercise at least a little every day (pushups, situps, walking a couple of miles). I've been doing mostly part time PE for the past month or two including Jelqing and in the past 2 weeks the bathmate has been added. I have lost 40 to 50 pounds this year that I gained at the end of my last relationship when I was not in such a great space and I am rather thin at this point. Speaking of thin, I am also much below average in penis girth, somewhere around 4.25". I am around 6" long.

Continuing with the story, I was in pretty bad need, so let's just say I met with a woman. It was not romantic at all, that kind of situation. I gave her a nice massage and she got me ready and we started, but halfway through I lost my erection, and it was a bit perturbing. I was unable to get it back in a short amount of time on my own and just ended up leaving.

A couple of days later, I met with a woman who I spoke to online a few times. She is a BBW, but a sweet woman and all about sex, so I don't mind at this point. We met, I gave her a nice massage, and then she gave me a blowjob. It took about 30 minutes for me to finish, which has never happened before. We laid together and I ended up rubbing her shortly after. She got me hard again and I wrapped it up and went in. Things were normal, but then I lost my erection again. We continued rubbing and fingering, then she got me hard again, and I tried from behind and again lost my erection after a few minutes. She ended up giving me another blowjob without issue.

The next morning we fooled around a little and I was able to have sex without losing an erection. I did not hold back at all and just went for a shorter finish. I was rather disappointed that with all of this, she only had one orgasm, and the whole situation made me feel not very cool about things.

So, why the loss of erection? I am wondering if I am getting ED, but i have no problems when masturbating or receiving oral. Is it because I am not attached to these woman besides a desire for physical release? I am an affectionate and sensitive person, so perhaps I need to have feelings to have the full situation. Is it because of my emotional state from leaving a relationship that I really didn't want to leave, which has left me feeling like something is missing inside of me? Is it because of the bathmate and Jelqing? I am holding off on that now to see how things go.

The other thing is, I had never had sex with condoms in my past few relationships, and I have not been around outside of those relationships. These were the first two times I've had sex using a condom. Since I am rather thin, the condom does become loose if I lose any bit of my erection. Has anyone ever heard of condoms causing issues with sexual performance? I love sex without condoms, but I need to be able to use them for future encounters. Do I need to seek out a smaller sized condom perhaps?

I don't know what the exact reason is behind the erection loss. I get erections many times a day, and I do masturbate once or twice a day most weeks. I am backing off of masturbation and PE to figure this out.

Anyone that has insight or tips or just wants to comment, feel free. I appreciate it, and thanks for reading.

Welcome to the forum bro. I will say you are having some sort of heartbreak going on in your life and that might affect your erection. I will also say since you are new to PE, maybe you are fatigue from using the bathmate. And finally I think it's because you are not really feeling the sex because of the condom. I've experienced something like this more than once and in those circumstances, I wasn't comfortable with the environment and that was why I lost my erection.

As for PE, try to figure out what you want first. If it is length you want before girth, I will suggest you attack length first and if it is girth you want before length, I will suggest you stick to using your bathmate.

But to make sure you don't do PE in vain and to also make sure you gain faster, I will suggest you follow the SRT instruction here: http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/...t-gt-Gain_inches_with_SRT-Theory-and-Routine=

Hello,

Thank you for your reply.

I do have to agree that my emotional state may have a big impact on the situation.

Last night, I had a similar situation with two very long blow jobs and a similar loss of erection, though I was able to give her an orgasm before the loss. I think it is a loss of interest, honestly. Without putting my soul or my heart into sex, I think I am not fully connected to it. I also am with someone I am not really fully connected to, so it is not exactly the ideal environment. Like you said, something just isn't comfortable in some way.

This morning I had sex for long enough to give her an orgasm, but I couldn't come close to having one myself. I even had her give me a nice hand job, and I did come close but couldn't orgasm. I guess casual sex isn't for everyone.

I did buy much thinner condoms with a straighter shape. They helped.

I would love to have quite a bit more girth and maybe a tiny bit more length, but I do not want to get too big for some women lengthwise. So I am thinking bathmate and jelqing are going to be what I do for now. I will be sure to look at your suggested source. Thanks so much.

person001;766098 said:

Hello,

Thank you for your reply.

I do have to agree that my emotional state may have a big impact on the situation.

Last night, I had a similar situation with two very long blow jobs and a similar loss of erection, though I was able to give her an orgasm before the loss. I think it is a loss of interest, honestly. Without putting my soul or my heart into sex, I think I am not fully connected to it. I also am with someone I am not really fully connected to, so it is not exactly the ideal environment. Like you said, something just isn't comfortable in some way.

This morning I had sex for long enough to give her an orgasm, but I couldn't come close to having one myself. I even had her give me a nice hand job, and I did come close but couldn't orgasm. I guess casual sex isn't for everyone.

I did buy much thinner condoms with a straighter shape. They helped.

I would love to have quite a bit more girth and maybe a tiny bit more length, but I do not want to get too big for some women lengthwise. So I am thinking bathmate and jelqing are going to be what I do for now. I will be sure to look at your suggested source. Thanks so much.

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Huge gave great information. I think you should get started on a BathMate/SSJ/Kegel routine, look through SRT to see various routines. It you need help setting up a custom routine please just ask.

Welcome to the Forums my new Brother!

Reporting back in.

First off, I would like to say that for those of you who are super concerned about having a thin penis, it is not the end of the world for most women. I never even knew I was much below average in girth until I looked up average penis sizes. It was a bit perturbing to learn, and I was apprehensive about sex after learning how important girth was to some women, but the truth is that many women can still be pleased with a below average girth penis. Like I mentioned before, I am just around 4.25" girth, and I can tell you that with my current sex partner I just recently gave her two back to back orgasms with just normal sex (I was not using any special techniques). Also, it helps if you can become good at oral, as that will likely increase your success if you can climax her that way prior to penetrating. Get her so hot and wet and she will orgasm with ease even if you are not hung.

Back on topic: I have stopped PE altogether since I realized that I am losing my erection when having sex. It does turn out that it happens with a condom on only. I think a lot of it is that I am not in a romantic relationship and in more of a FWB/NSA relationship. I am also not really physically attracted to this person. I am in hopes that in a regular relationship, I will be able to have sex with a condom and not lose erection, but I am not so sure.

We did try other means of contraceptive and I was able to keep an erection without a condom on, and like I said before, I never lose an erection when receiving oral. I am wondering if it is better to continue to hold off on PE until I am able to maintain an erection during sex with a condom on, or do you guys think it may not have that much of an effect.

It does have a lot to do with my mental state. I am still deeply affected about my previous relationship that I ended, and I wish I hadn't. But it was a long distance thing, and I needed sex and affection badly.

Even though I seem to have had no issues with my size and my partners, I would still like to focus on girth increases. I was under the impression that bathmate actually helped erection quality, so I am considering using it again with maybe some light jelqing mixed in. If any of you more experienced guys can chime in with your perspective, I would love to hear it. Thank you so much.

I think you are still suffering from heart break and it has affected your erection. It can as well be fatigue from PE as well. Just wait for about a week or two and see if you can get an erection with a condom before resuming PE.

to bastardize a Yogi-ism...'half this game is 90% mental'

Big Schwanz Acht;767415 said:

to bastardize a Yogi-ism...'half this game is 90% mental'

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Yogism is a thing, I heard.