More Pussy Eating Lessons!

DLD · Aug 6, 2004

The Lick
Leaving your tongue soft and jaw relaxed (this is important to avoid cramping), try licking her from vaginal entrance (that's the hole, the slit, the crease) up to her clit (that's the clit) and following the outer edges of her vagina (that's the lips or labia, not her hips or the edge of the bed) along both sides. Repeating this technique going up and down and vice versa can be a great opener. You might try "Hello" as an opener too, if she isn't already spread eagle on the bed.

Labial Hold
While holding the two parts together with your lips, run your tongue between the inner and outer labia one side at a time. Don't hold it too long - labia need to breathe. I sometimes punch a few holes in them and attach an air freshener.

Tongue Intercourse
The majority of a woman’s nerve endings in her vagina are around the opening and within the first couple of inches inside, or she may have them in an adorable leather pouch in her purse. Target them with your tongue, acquiring the target with your heads-up display. Insert your munitions. This technique, like life itself, is limited due to length. If our God were a just God the sum total of tongue and penis length would be a constant for all men. Sadly, He decided it would be funnier to leave a bunch of us with limited length in both areas.

The Flick (also called the Jablonsky)
Spread her outer vaginal lips with your fingers. Wrap them around your head like a hat. Stop giggling and re-focus. With your tongue pointed, gently flick your tongue around her clit. Feel free to roam, but keep coming back to her clit, and if you go to the next apartment, don't bring that bimbo back with you.

This technique drives some women wild, and others find it to too intense, and most married women would rather be flipping through mail order furniture catalogs. When stimulating her clit make sure to start out gently if you aren’t sure how she likes it. If she likes it shaken not stirred, double-check the size of her "clit." When you try this, pay attention to whether those moans are ecstasy or pain or maybe she's waking up.

Advanced Techniques

The following techniques should not be introduced until your partner is really hot (i.e., very wet, me-so-horny, in heat, lust-filled, cock-hungry, faking it). These are more intense techniques, and may be too intense for some women, even when nearing orgasm. They may also lead to 9-1-1 calls to the police and follow-up restraining orders. Proceed with caution.

The Clitoris Suck
Expose her clitoris by spreading her lips and lightly pulling back her hood. When her hood is pulled back, make sure it's really her and not the cleaning lady, put the hood back and readjust your own hood in case her's falls off again. With her clitoris exposed, give it a quick little suck. Now when she tells you that you suck, you can take it as a compliment! This is a lot like licking a bit of cake batter off of your pinky, except not as tasty and it shouldn't bring back fond memories of Mom. We recommend not using your teeth nor using heavy suction (i.e. vacuum cleaner) when starting out.

The Clitoris Hold
Take her exposed clit into your mouth and gently suck on it, simultaneously flicking your tongue over and around it. Don't gag on it. Swallow what you can and close your eyes and make believe you're not really there. When asked if you like this, grunt an affirmation. Go to your happy place until it's all over.

The Tongue Tube
Roll your tongue into a tube (if you cannot do this, forget about it because it is genetic and you can't learn it - FYI: the rolling tongue gene is the same gene for large penises and long tongues). Roll your tongue into a tube around her clitoris so your tongue is doing something similar to a woman's vagina around a man's penis. If you can do this you really should become a homosexual and go find an actual man's penis. Why waste this talent on a little clitoris?

ABC’s
Try using your tongue to spell the alphabet on her genitals. This works surprisingly well as your tongue is always moving in different directions. When I'm bored I like to send subliminal messages to my lover. Stuff like, "Doing the dishes is fun," and "Stop inviting your annoying friend, Rachel over to our house," and my favorite, "When are you going to come? I've lost all feeling in my jaw and Sportcenter started 10 minutes ago." If your lover is a non-English speaker do your best to simulate Sanskrit, Cyrillic, etc. If your lover is illiterate, get your face out of her pussy and teach her to read ferChristsakes.

witty · Aug 6, 2004

lol funny and informative, thanks!!

BeBobBox · Aug 11, 2004

i couldnt have said it better than him

kausion_420 · Aug 11, 2004

LMFAO hahahahaha

Comic relief for the night.

ruddy · Aug 19, 2004

these really do work i tried it on my gf and she went off like a gyser

Gimme9 · Dec 11, 2004

. HEY DLD do you think the TONGUE TUBE can be learned?
I had actually thought that one up on my own, and used it with this trick. . .
with her on her back and you in feasting mode, grab one of her wrists in each hand and pull them down between her legs - hold hard, she gonna try to get out later, keep your wrists straight so that your forarms and hers make a 90º V, you then push her legs apart so that your wrists are in the backs of her knees thus trapping her legs into this V, put your upper body weight on your elbows so she's "LOCKED" in this position, now her clit belongs to you and the torture um i mean fun can begin!
. OBVIOUSLY this is for a girl who doesn't mind being restrained, if she does mind she's gonna freak so listen to how she begs you to stop - she just might mean it. i did this to a girl (for 45 minutes) after she became TOO sensitive from her third O and kept putting her hands over her puss or closing her legs alternately, i was having too much fun to stop but didn't have enough hands to win that battle and it just sort of happened. i didn't even use my dick after - she was just too exhausted.
. oh yeah my original question . . . when i was a kid watching start trek i couldn't do the Vulcan Salute, you know the one where they raise their hand and spread between the middle and ring finger. so i put rubber bands on on the first two fingers, and the last two fingers, and kept practicing until i could do it without the bands, think something similar could be used to "train" the tongue muscles?

AND oh this is a GOOD one . . .i read your joke about short tongue and dicks being from the same gene - (yeah mother nature's a fucking RIOT huh?) but i read recently that children in korea have difficulty pronouncing certain sounds in english (which of course is very important since the US powers their entire economy) so parents were having an operation performed. it didn't go into surgical details BUT i think they cut that flap of skin (tendon? ligament?) underneath the tongue and attached it further back effectively . . .YES YOU"VE GOT IT . . . LENGTHENING THE TONGUE!!!
. In korea the operation costs about $125 american! so i guess it's time to stop jelqing my tongue (the lube tasted NASTY) and start saving for airfair!!
. unfortunately the article didn't go into details about the nature of the operation or the end results as it was about the morality of surgically altering children to better fit into a global social "norm", but for us american (already immoral) adults i say MORALS SHydromaxORALS!! GIMME18! - 9" above and 9" below!! then i can lick her and fuck her at the SAME TIME!!!
. wait! i just reread that FYI in the tongue tube and it can't be correct, my tongue only sticks out an inch (i had to have it peirced nearer the tip than normal to be effective and the guy even commented on it "wow you right it really IS short" [and me with out a gun!]) and my penis was 5 7/8" x 5 1/4" but i have always been able to curl my tongue. AND do all thoughs other dumb face things, flair nostrils, wiggle ears, raise either and both eyebrows, so maybe it's just a matter of control, or again - practice - i used to have to try hard and focus before i could flair my nostrils. So maybe there's hope.

one more quick question - i'm tring to come up with a way to do the position descibed above, but still have one free hand to work the Gspot - any suggetstions?

needmomeat · Dec 14, 2004

I know a girl who doesn't have that thing under her tounge. she can pick her nose with her tounge... i'd like to see her in a 3 some with a chick!!!!

I also know a few who have had that cut/removed when having their tounge pierced. the problems are biting your tounge, sometimes slurred speach. but it can be done in america too.

Thanks for the great tips all!

Gimme9 · Dec 14, 2004

. WooHOO!! for all us ORAL ENTHUSIASTS out there (and what penile challenged man isn't) I found THIS while searching for info on frenectomy (yes, surgically cutting the frenulum [web] that holds yor tongue down). I was searching for pros/cons, and as I suffer from sleep apnea (translated literally from greek: the little death. a disorder in which the tongue blocks airway during the deepest levels of sleep resulting in suffocation until one reaches an "emergency" state and regains sufficient conciousness to move the tongue forward thus re-openning the airway. Frequently the sufferer is unaware of these events which can occur from dozens to HUNDREDS of times each night) the CONS could prove potentially fatal (I found no mention of this as a possibility though)!
. um, where was I? OH YEAH appearently the joke I made about not needing to jelq my tongue was actually right on the money! read on . . .

from www.Bathmateezine.com/tsplitfaq.txt
What is tongue lengthening?

Tongue lengthening falls into two general categories. In a historical
and yogic context the tongue can be genuinely lengthened and enlarged by
"milking" it, a process most analogous to forms of vacuum pumping. To
simplify, the tongue is held and kneaded and massaged, and then, using a
cloth to hold it, it is pulled and twisted it for a few minutes. Over
time this will leave a greatly lengthened tongue for use in advanced
yogic practices that are well beyond the scope of this FAQ. If you are
interested in more on this subject investigate Khecharî Mudrâ and
Jivhanirlekhan yogic techniques, but be aware that not all practitioners
of these arts in the West will espouse these more esoteric practices.

More commonly — so commonly in fact that it's really the only kind one
will see in the West — is the cutting of the sublingual frenulum. This
doesn't actually lengthen the tongue, but it can dramatically increase
its mobility by eliminating the "tongue tied" effect, giving both the
illusion and the function of lengthening. Not all people can achieve
lengthening using this technique, but more radical procedures cut into
the musculature under the tongue further exaggerate the effect.

What are the benefits of tongue lengthening by frenulum cutting?

You'll effectively have a longer tongue and all which that entails.

Is tongue lengthening by frenulum cutting dangerous?

The procedure itself can damage glands, blood vessels, and muscular
tissue in the area. Short of superficial cuts this procedure really
should be left to trained medical professionals. There is also a risk of
scarring pulling the frenulum back together and shortening the tongue.
As a result many practitioners will cauterize the incision or remove a
section of tissue making closure/stricture less likely.

Where can I find more information on tongue splitting and tongue
lengthening?

As of this writing BathmateE/extreme contains well over a thousand pictures of
tongue splitting, tongue splitting procedures, and related activities,
as well as about a hundred first-hand accounts written by BathmateE members.

some MAJOR body tatooing/peircing going on there, i saw one pic one the home page with a guy that looked to be about 2" flacid with a spike as thick as my index finger through the shaft just behind the head!! Some people have interesting ideas of penis enhancement.

. Eagerly following through with my searching, i looked up the two yoga references mentioned and came up with this . . .

from http://www.rainbowbody.net/Purity/Kriya.htm

One can grab the upper part of the tongue with rounded tongs or with a clean
handkerchief or bandana drawing it out slowly, elongating it, and milking it. This
removes impurities as well as creates a long tongue for khechari mudra if practiced
twice a day (see below).

Another similar technique is tongue milking. massage, and stretching done in
preparation for the gross form of khechari mudra (see below under "upper palate
massage", khechari, danda dhauti, and in the yoga mudra chapter). Here the tongue
is grabbed by a well manicured and clean thumb, index finger, and middle finger and
kneaded and massaged. This is also called dohana kriya, jhiva mool dhauti, or jhiva
sodhana especially when it is stretched (usually by grabbing the front part with a
clean handkerchief (in order to prevent slipping) and gently pulling and twisting for a
few minutes. A similar technique is performed with a special tongue pulling tong.
When one twists the tongue, pulls it, and then pushes the tongue back past the soft
palate toward the uvula, it is called chalana kriya. Similarly see the discussion of
khechari mudra below in the "upper palate massage" section.

These tongue kriyas are classically suggested to be preformed on a daily basis once or more times per day.

So I haven't found any detailed exersizes, but then appearently yogis are not as detail oriented as our Brother of the Elongated Penis MR. DLD himself! From what I could learn of this practice, the objective is to use ones tongue (the tip) to cleanse the back of the throat and nasal passages (um... Eeeewww!) and is a well documented practice.

and finally, just for shits and giggles . . .

the guiness book of records for the longest tongue;
from http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_444729.html
pics included, but I think they're cheating with that ruler should'nt they be starting directly beneath the center of the tongue? resulting in X.XX" tp (tooth press ¦¬)? That method seems like holding the ruler under the penis to squeeze out another inch or so.

I'll keep looking for more detailed excersizes, in the mean time it looks like i've got something else to do during my warm wraps!!

PS, do you guys think weight hanging from my tongue ring would help?

pita · Jan 8, 2005

I had that thing removed as a child due to speech problems but i guess my tongue is still too short,

john4062 · Feb 3, 2005

undefinedundefinedundefined
After absorbing some of the advanced 'guidelines' - would love to find a discreet lady from around North East NC to see how they work!

Cockolution · Feb 6, 2005

Gimme9 said:
. WooHOO!! for all us ORAL ENTHUSIASTS out there (and what penile challenged man isn't) I found THIS while searching for info on frenectomy (yes, surgically cutting the frenulum [web] that holds yor tongue down). I was searching for pros/cons, and as I suffer from sleep apnea (translated literally from greek: the little death. a disorder in which the tongue blocks airway during the deepest levels of sleep resulting in suffocation until one reaches an "emergency" state and regains sufficient conciousness to move the tongue forward thus re-openning the airway. Frequently the sufferer is unaware of these events which can occur from dozens to HUNDREDS of times each night) the CONS could prove potentially fatal (I found no mention of this as a possibility though)!
. um, where was I? OH YEAH appearently the joke I made about not needing to jelq my tongue was actually right on the money! read on . . .

from www.Bathmateezine.com/tsplitfaq.txt
What is tongue lengthening?

Tongue lengthening falls into two general categories. In a historical
and yogic context the tongue can be genuinely lengthened and enlarged by
"milking" it, a process most analogous to forms of vacuum pumping. To
simplify, the tongue is held and kneaded and massaged, and then, using a
cloth to hold it, it is pulled and twisted it for a few minutes. Over
time this will leave a greatly lengthened tongue for use in advanced
yogic practices that are well beyond the scope of this FAQ. If you are
interested in more on this subject investigate Khecharî Mudrâ and
Jivhanirlekhan yogic techniques, but be aware that not all practitioners
of these arts in the West will espouse these more esoteric practices.

More commonly — so commonly in fact that it's really the only kind one
will see in the West — is the cutting of the sublingual frenulum. This
doesn't actually lengthen the tongue, but it can dramatically increase
its mobility by eliminating the "tongue tied" effect, giving both the
illusion and the function of lengthening. Not all people can achieve
lengthening using this technique, but more radical procedures cut into
the musculature under the tongue further exaggerate the effect.

What are the benefits of tongue lengthening by frenulum cutting?

You'll effectively have a longer tongue and all which that entails.

Is tongue lengthening by frenulum cutting dangerous?

The procedure itself can damage glands, blood vessels, and muscular
tissue in the area. Short of superficial cuts this procedure really
should be left to trained medical professionals. There is also a risk of
scarring pulling the frenulum back together and shortening the tongue.
As a result many practitioners will cauterize the incision or remove a
section of tissue making closure/stricture less likely.

Where can I find more information on tongue splitting and tongue
lengthening?

As of this writing BathmateE/extreme contains well over a thousand pictures of
tongue splitting, tongue splitting procedures, and related activities,
as well as about a hundred first-hand accounts written by BathmateE members.

some MAJOR body tatooing/peircing going on there, i saw one pic one the home page with a guy that looked to be about 2" flacid with a spike as thick as my index finger through the shaft just behind the head!! Some people have interesting ideas of penis enhancement.

. Eagerly following through with my searching, i looked up the two yoga references mentioned and came up with this . . .

from http://www.rainbowbody.net/Purity/Kriya.htm

One can grab the upper part of the tongue with rounded tongs or with a clean
handkerchief or bandana drawing it out slowly, elongating it, and milking it. This
removes impurities as well as creates a long tongue for khechari mudra if practiced
twice a day (see below).

Another similar technique is tongue milking. massage, and stretching done in
preparation for the gross form of khechari mudra (see below under "upper palate
massage", khechari, danda dhauti, and in the yoga mudra chapter). Here the tongue
is grabbed by a well manicured and clean thumb, index finger, and middle finger and
kneaded and massaged. This is also called dohana kriya, jhiva mool dhauti, or jhiva
sodhana especially when it is stretched (usually by grabbing the front part with a
clean handkerchief (in order to prevent slipping) and gently pulling and twisting for a
few minutes. A similar technique is performed with a special tongue pulling tong.
When one twists the tongue, pulls it, and then pushes the tongue back past the soft
palate toward the uvula, it is called chalana kriya. Similarly see the discussion of
khechari mudra below in the "upper palate massage" section.

These tongue kriyas are classically suggested to be preformed on a daily basis once or more times per day.

So I haven't found any detailed exersizes, but then appearently yogis are not as detail oriented as our Brother of the Elongated Penis MR. DLD himself! From what I could learn of this practice, the objective is to use ones tongue (the tip) to cleanse the back of the throat and nasal passages (um... Eeeewww!) and is a well documented practice.

and finally, just for shits and giggles . . .

the guiness book of records for the longest tongue;
from http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_444729.html
pics included, but I think they're cheating with that ruler should'nt they be starting directly beneath the center of the tongue? resulting in X.XX" tp (tooth press ¦¬)? That method seems like holding the ruler under the penis to squeeze out another inch or so.

I'll keep looking for more detailed excersizes, in the mean time it looks like i've got something else to do during my warm wraps!!

PS, do you guys think weight hanging from my tongue ring would help?

Check it out bro:

http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15600

I also read that yogi stuff, sounds promising. I might do the cloth thing later on...I'll be back to read this when I have time.

Cockolution · Feb 6, 2005

Gimme9 said:
. WooHOO!! for all us ORAL ENTHUSIASTS out there (and what penile challenged man isn't) I found THIS while searching for info on frenectomy (yes, surgically cutting the frenulum [web] that holds yor tongue down). I was searching for pros/cons, and as I suffer from sleep apnea (translated literally from greek: the little death. a disorder in which the tongue blocks airway during the deepest levels of sleep resulting in suffocation until one reaches an "emergency" state and regains sufficient conciousness to move the tongue forward thus re-openning the airway. Frequently the sufferer is unaware of these events which can occur from dozens to HUNDREDS of times each night) the CONS could prove potentially fatal (I found no mention of this as a possibility though)!
. um, where was I? OH YEAH appearently the joke I made about not needing to jelq my tongue was actually right on the money! read on . . .

from www.Bathmateezine.com/tsplitfaq.txt
What is tongue lengthening?

Tongue lengthening falls into two general categories. In a historical
and yogic context the tongue can be genuinely lengthened and enlarged by
"milking" it, a process most analogous to forms of vacuum pumping. To
simplify, the tongue is held and kneaded and massaged, and then, using a
cloth to hold it, it is pulled and twisted it for a few minutes. Over
time this will leave a greatly lengthened tongue for use in advanced
yogic practices that are well beyond the scope of this FAQ. If you are
interested in more on this subject investigate Khecharî Mudrâ and
Jivhanirlekhan yogic techniques, but be aware that not all practitioners
of these arts in the West will espouse these more esoteric practices.

More commonly — so commonly in fact that it's really the only kind one
will see in the West — is the cutting of the sublingual frenulum. This
doesn't actually lengthen the tongue, but it can dramatically increase
its mobility by eliminating the "tongue tied" effect, giving both the
illusion and the function of lengthening. Not all people can achieve
lengthening using this technique, but more radical procedures cut into
the musculature under the tongue further exaggerate the effect.

What are the benefits of tongue lengthening by frenulum cutting?

You'll effectively have a longer tongue and all which that entails.

Is tongue lengthening by frenulum cutting dangerous?

The procedure itself can damage glands, blood vessels, and muscular
tissue in the area. Short of superficial cuts this procedure really
should be left to trained medical professionals. There is also a risk of
scarring pulling the frenulum back together and shortening the tongue.
As a result many practitioners will cauterize the incision or remove a
section of tissue making closure/stricture less likely.

Where can I find more information on tongue splitting and tongue
lengthening?

As of this writing BathmateE/extreme contains well over a thousand pictures of
tongue splitting, tongue splitting procedures, and related activities,
as well as about a hundred first-hand accounts written by BathmateE members.

some MAJOR body tatooing/peircing going on there, i saw one pic one the home page with a guy that looked to be about 2" flacid with a spike as thick as my index finger through the shaft just behind the head!! Some people have interesting ideas of penis enhancement.

. Eagerly following through with my searching, i looked up the two yoga references mentioned and came up with this . . .

from http://www.rainbowbody.net/Purity/Kriya.htm

One can grab the upper part of the tongue with rounded tongs or with a clean
handkerchief or bandana drawing it out slowly, elongating it, and milking it. This
removes impurities as well as creates a long tongue for khechari mudra if practiced
twice a day (see below).

Another similar technique is tongue milking. massage, and stretching done in
preparation for the gross form of khechari mudra (see below under "upper palate
massage", khechari, danda dhauti, and in the yoga mudra chapter). Here the tongue
is grabbed by a well manicured and clean thumb, index finger, and middle finger and
kneaded and massaged. This is also called dohana kriya, jhiva mool dhauti, or jhiva
sodhana especially when it is stretched (usually by grabbing the front part with a
clean handkerchief (in order to prevent slipping) and gently pulling and twisting for a
few minutes. A similar technique is performed with a special tongue pulling tong.
When one twists the tongue, pulls it, and then pushes the tongue back past the soft
palate toward the uvula, it is called chalana kriya. Similarly see the discussion of
khechari mudra below in the "upper palate massage" section.

These tongue kriyas are classically suggested to be preformed on a daily basis once or more times per day.

So I haven't found any detailed exersizes, but then appearently yogis are not as detail oriented as our Brother of the Elongated Penis MR. DLD himself! From what I could learn of this practice, the objective is to use ones tongue (the tip) to cleanse the back of the throat and nasal passages (um... Eeeewww!) and is a well documented practice.

and finally, just for shits and giggles . . .

the guiness book of records for the longest tongue;
from http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_444729.html
pics included, but I think they're cheating with that ruler should'nt they be starting directly beneath the center of the tongue? resulting in X.XX" tp (tooth press ¦¬)? That method seems like holding the ruler under the penis to squeeze out another inch or so.

I'll keep looking for more detailed excersizes, in the mean time it looks like i've got something else to do during my warm wraps!!

PS, do you guys think weight hanging from my tongue ring would help?

Check it out bro:

http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15600

I also read that yogi stuff, sounds promising. I might do the cloth thing later on...I'll be back to read this and try it out when I have time.

Pandora · Aug 25, 2006

bump hehehe:D

British prick · Jan 14, 2007

BeBobBox said:
i couldnt have said it better than him

I could give you both lessons in how suck pussy.

aeroth · Jan 15, 2007

Good thread good thread. I've gotten my girlfriend to squirt 8 times in one night before and let me tell you when a girl who thinks she can't cum starts to squirt...it's pretty impressive and arousing to watch. I've read all the tips and stuff and one thing I noticed you didn't have here that seems to do wonders for me.

inhale her pussy suck in the WHOLE thing not hard but hard enough to get all of it in your mouth and then work your tongue all over it. Drives my girl crazy

also pull back her clit hood and just rub your tongue across the top of her clit and see how she reacts to that.

goinfor11x7 · Jan 16, 2007

Also take her clit and kind of "roll" it between your lips. Whether you're using your tongue or your lips, do it very very gently--ever so gently!!! Kind of brush against it. This drives my Mrs. right up the wall. If it becomes over sensitive, she'll let you know. Just back off for a while. Then dive back in.

Man, I love to eat pussy!!!

Threak · Jan 16, 2007

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

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