- Joined
- Sep 16, 2009
- Messages
- 720
Can't believe I've waited so long, but I'm tired of it. It's been bothering me a lot lately. As you all know I am a virgin and it's getting on my nerves. Don't laugh now, because it's serious. Wasn't until last year that I took the initiative to get my own transportation. It was a milestone in my life. Now that I have a car, I can do more things and continue onto completing more of my goals. But one of my biggest is to lose my virginity. Knowing that I have to stop being so introverted and start talking to women more. There is so much baggage in my mind that's holding me back from being more sexually active.
See, I grew-up in a very religious home, but my mother taught us how to be respectable to people, courteous to women and respect anyone as well. This somehow warped my perspective of reality. I got a lot of discipline as well as a child, because I was really, really bad. Use to just throw rocks for no-reason at people's cars and house windows. Stole bikes from neighborhoods and give them to my friends in order to go the mall to steal stuff. I was like a black Dennis the Menace ( Lol, had to use a senseable example ). Wasn't until 13 that me and my cousin experience sexuality on this one chick. She was the neighborhood,"ho," and wanted to fuck us. So we agreed.
At those times my mother and step-dad worked in the morning. Sometimes my mother would take extra shifts at night and we'd have people over at the house during the morning. Getting back to the chick now. I was just getting out of the shower. My cousin and her were in the room. So, I got on some boxers, with a shirt and went in. Boy was I hard, but didn't know what to do. My erect state was at about less than 6 inches at the time, since I was still growing. My cousin, I couldn't tell, but he was 14 at the time. He started having sex with her, but I couldn't fit it in, because I didn't know what to do, so I left while he finished up.
Ever since that day, It stayed in my brain. One story I'll never forget. Ah, behind the Apartment complex where I use to stay in had these dudes lined up and this one chick. She was a Caucasian chick. Wasn't that good looking either, but hey, that didn't stop them from getting their dicks sucked. Anyways, I was watching when this tall, skinny darkskin guy came out of no-where and got in-front of the line like a cocky bastard, pulling out his wang. Man, this dude had to be about 9 inches + with a 6.5 inch girth, because the chick couldn't even fit it in her mouth. Maybe it was 8 inches, I don't know, but that guy was monstrous. Always wanted to have the size of his penis. I envied that guy so much. Still sticks in my mind.
Anyways, getting back to the subject at hand. That's all I want right now. Waiting years, and years to do this. Don't want to be in my 30s, a virgin and trying to find a fuck. To be honest, I want to have a shit load of fun, but there's a religious shadow looking down on me--a conscious in which I cannot sear. Through those years of depression ( 20 to 23 ), I did nothing. Contemplating to end my existence on earth, because, let's be honest, I didn't have a plan at all. Now, that nightmare is over and it's time to be positive. To find my purpose in life and complete this one goal that's been on my mind for these years, to lose my virginity...
See, I grew-up in a very religious home, but my mother taught us how to be respectable to people, courteous to women and respect anyone as well. This somehow warped my perspective of reality. I got a lot of discipline as well as a child, because I was really, really bad. Use to just throw rocks for no-reason at people's cars and house windows. Stole bikes from neighborhoods and give them to my friends in order to go the mall to steal stuff. I was like a black Dennis the Menace ( Lol, had to use a senseable example ). Wasn't until 13 that me and my cousin experience sexuality on this one chick. She was the neighborhood,"ho," and wanted to fuck us. So we agreed.
At those times my mother and step-dad worked in the morning. Sometimes my mother would take extra shifts at night and we'd have people over at the house during the morning. Getting back to the chick now. I was just getting out of the shower. My cousin and her were in the room. So, I got on some boxers, with a shirt and went in. Boy was I hard, but didn't know what to do. My erect state was at about less than 6 inches at the time, since I was still growing. My cousin, I couldn't tell, but he was 14 at the time. He started having sex with her, but I couldn't fit it in, because I didn't know what to do, so I left while he finished up.
Ever since that day, It stayed in my brain. One story I'll never forget. Ah, behind the Apartment complex where I use to stay in had these dudes lined up and this one chick. She was a Caucasian chick. Wasn't that good looking either, but hey, that didn't stop them from getting their dicks sucked. Anyways, I was watching when this tall, skinny darkskin guy came out of no-where and got in-front of the line like a cocky bastard, pulling out his wang. Man, this dude had to be about 9 inches + with a 6.5 inch girth, because the chick couldn't even fit it in her mouth. Maybe it was 8 inches, I don't know, but that guy was monstrous. Always wanted to have the size of his penis. I envied that guy so much. Still sticks in my mind.
Anyways, getting back to the subject at hand. That's all I want right now. Waiting years, and years to do this. Don't want to be in my 30s, a virgin and trying to find a fuck. To be honest, I want to have a shit load of fun, but there's a religious shadow looking down on me--a conscious in which I cannot sear. Through those years of depression ( 20 to 23 ), I did nothing. Contemplating to end my existence on earth, because, let's be honest, I didn't have a plan at all. Now, that nightmare is over and it's time to be positive. To find my purpose in life and complete this one goal that's been on my mind for these years, to lose my virginity...
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