Hey boys! I am back, I have been abcent for 3 weeks now, but I have my reasons. My story is long, but I would try to keep it as short as possible. I am here to hear what you think and to hear what you would advise me to do. I am in a very shit situation and I do not know what to do....
I met this girl on facebook 2 months ago, on a group of the staff we are in now. We work for a party company in Sunny Beach (the wild horny drunk party sex of Bulgaria). Here we get LOTS of tourists coming only to drink like crazy and fuck like crazier. Girls, boys, everything is here to drink and fuck and nothing more....
We met on facebook and it did not take long for me to see how supportive and understanding she is. How good and kind she is. How much she cares about me and how much she is the 1st girl to ever make me feel like I am a full confident man. She was having hard times when we chatted, idiot me- I stayed awake, spent all my free time with her- showing her, telling her how much I support her, care about her, love her.... Even in her hardest times, when she was in pain and crying, shaking, begging for help- I still was there staying awake, spending ALL my free time with her instead of doing my own stuff. Time passed and we met a week ago, this must have been one of the worst weeks I have ever had in my life... I was standing there on the parties looking at how the one I loved, who had spent all her hard moments with me kissing and fucking random guys in front of me. I asked her "Why do you spend time with people who can only be with you in the best time of theirs- drunk and horny? It is the easiest to be with such a girl... why dont you spend time with the people who would be with you no matter what, no matter where or when. Is there something anyone else can give you that I cant?".... Her answer was "there is nothing you cant and they can give me". It was a deal we had made- no feelings, just friends with benefits, she is not the bad one, it is just my fault that I fell in love. But please brothers, tell me, help me- WHAT should I do??? I see the girl I love fucking my colleagues (the ones I see every day) like crazy, kissing them, fucking them in front of me and I still cant say anything about it cause that was the deal- NO FEELINGS. I am NO ONE to tell her who she can fuck or not- I am not her boyfriend or anything. This is her life and I want to put no limits on what she can and cant do- I dont have the right to do so... I am just a friend and nothing more. When she is drunk, she treats me like shit and treats everyone else nice.... when she is sober she has problems and I am the only one that would LOVE to spend his time with her helping her, making her smile... To me her smile means a LOT!!! We had sex a few times... she orgasmed 5 times, I orgasmed 1 time, cause she asked me to... The only orgasm I want is hers, the only smile I want to see is on her face, the only one I enjoy spending time with no matter how bad she feels is her.... and I only get a broken heart... An idiot I am for STILL giving my love to someone who only hurts me and breaks me every time I see her with someone else, but what can I do- people tell me- leave her, she is not for you, what are you doing with her, you can do MUCH better, you deserve MUCH better... and I know it, but my mind and my heart dont go along it seems...
To me brothers, you mean a lot, to me you are a family that I can give my love to and still get love back. Please, help me....
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