Heartbroken...

In America we have a saying to not get caught up in all that love shit:

We Find'em Feel'em Fuck'em and Leave'em
and you would do good to do the same!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zambrodom3;587788 said:

The reason on why I agreed on the friends with benefits is that I am NO ONE to tell her what to do. The 1st time she did this, she came to me being sorry. I looked at her and said- Do whatever you want, do whatever you like. This is your summer and just have fun, do whatever you feel like doing. I DONT want to force her doing something she does not want to.... I want her to FEEL that she wants me, I dont want to limit her. If she does not love me, then I am NO ONE to tell her what she should do, with who she should do.

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This, to me, seems like a mistake. You gave her free roam while making commitments you knew you couldn't uphold.
I respect how much you care but sometimes there needs to be a limit. Don't forget, you have your own needs to consider too.

Good luck in your recovery, I'll be rooting for you Zam.

I've notice that shit like this tends to happen during the summer time. Because its usually too cold to be fuck-hopping during the winter. But this is how you should get back at her. Tell her that since she doesnt mind fucking for free; than you can set her up to fuck dudes at your school for money. Once she see the puppy love mantality is now gone and you're confronting her on a strictly business relationship; She will look at you differently. Now she may get angry at the idea but atleast she will know that she is no longer worshipped in your eyes. Check Mate.

Just ignore her. She treated you like shit and you went to her party. That doesnt make any sense.

I agree with everyone else. Ignore the shit out of her. You SHOULD NOT have given her that present! That only shows your a weak beta that is only there for her to shit on, take money and attention from, and never fuck. Also, the only thing better than ignoring her is fucking other chicks, and letting her KNOW (subtly but make sure it gets out). Even if they aren't as hot, she will think "Wait, I'm hotter than her, why is he having sex with her instead!" Chicks like her LOVE getting with guys who are with other women.

Arghh what everyone said ignore her! Turn your back on her even literally,check your phone,don't stare at her while guys are banging her.o

and go find a chick better looking than her and hang with this new girl so she sees this! Smile laugh joke with the new one
if she hits you again say "Don't you dare do that again!!" Now go away!!! With a aggressive ALPHA male voice

Your the nice guy she wants to confide in you talk to you then make you feel like a beta male by hurting you then banging other douche bags girls are mean.

Also this helps " Fuck your ugly what did I ever see in you dam" and walk away I know I'm bad >

Good to have you back, Zam. Bad that you're going through such an ordeal.
you strike me as a very empathetic and encompassing person with no intention to hurt your fellows. I don't know for sure but can't imagine that retaliative acts as suggested here by some will give you any comfort or satisfaction. I think the best thing to do would be to just distance yourself from her and all the emotions that the social interaction with her stirs up regularly. You're very young and I don't want to sound precocious but wounds in your age tend to heal relatively fast and new options tend to pop up in short time as well (though it may seem to you otherwise right now, but once you're "in the game" things run comparably easy in your age. It gets way more complicated later, believe me). You should capitalize on this ability and try to go on with your life as fast as possible and find another girl. that includes to not waste any energies (be it for grieving, reconciliation or retaliation) on this girl anymore. The faster the better. So basically I can just concur with what a lot of people said here: ignore at all costs.
Good luck.

seems to me you kinda want what you can't have as well...funny how it works sometimes. since she seems to want what she can't have, if you want her, you're going to have to be scarce. if she wants to sleep with you, turn her down. time to flip the script, bro. to be honest though, this won't ever be a healthy relationship. if that's what you're looking for, cut ties, and don't look back. because you are the guy with the true feelings, you're the one that's going to get hurt.

tbone77;587854 said:

if that's what you're looking for, cut ties, and don't look back. because you are the guy with the true feelings, you're the one that's going to get hurt.

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exactly! don't invest anything into this anymore. Any kind of further involvement will hurt you in some way, even it it might get you some kind of temporary satisfaction. let go and free yourself of this whole affair.

Zam, everyone here has made really good suggestions. You can cut it off the bad boy way or be a gentleman and do it the gentleman way.

I ask you this, if this girl is this big of a slut, why are you still so in love with her? If you feel its a phase she is going through, then you are right. This phase may take another 8 years or so before it's over. Are you willing to wait that long while everyone is fucking her brains out every night? After this phase is over, she will not care about cock ever again. This happens with most girls that turn into women. It's like all things for many of us, if you really enjoy doing something in the beginning and you over do it for many years it becomes boring. I remember when I wanted to be a graphic designer and did everyones flyers for free out of love and then when it became a demanding job, I got so sick of it. To this day I do not want to see the word Photoshop or Illustrator even when I need to do it here.

Please move on brother.

Yes, moving on is what I started to do and what I am doing now! She showed some interest for attention last night on the party, but I did not even look at her. It hurt a little- wanting to be with someone and still ignore him, but FUCK that BITCH!

LIGHTNING- To your questions I will now answer.

1- When we chatted she told me that MANY people know her in a different way- when she is drunk, when she is in a good mood, when she is in a bad mood etc. But she told me that I am the only one that actually saw the REAL her, the way she is, not pretending, not hiding. I fell in love with this person. I realized what you said 4 days ago now.... that if this is not the girl I love then why would I still have feelings. Well it is maybe because I know that down there lies the real girl- the one that I loved is somewhere down there and I know that this is the REAL one, not the fake one.


2- (answer to everyone!!!)- When we chatted it all came as nothing more than sex talk. Right in the start I told her "Women are all the same- they like to be treated bad and treated like shit, I do not understand that, but I guess that is the way you women are...". Her answer... well it was "Yes, I know that some women like this, but I am not like that. I have had a boyfriend- my 1st boyfriend was the rudest person to me. I gave him everything and he treated me like the biggest shit- laughing at me, spitting me, hitting me, making fun of me in front of everyone just to make me feel worse and worse..... I dont like bad guys, I like nice guys, I dont think that it is cool to be a bad guy. For a serious relationship- I would ALWAYS choose a nice guy- even if he is UGLY, AWFUL in sex, poor instead of someone who might be a star, but treat me bad". She has talked me about her last boyfriend who she truly LOVED (and from her stories- it was LOVE really). She said he was not the hottest, richest not anything, but he was as nice as a man could be and he gave her all his care- that is why she fell in such deep love with him. I am no different than him I see that, but it looks like she is just in a phase of her life where she just wants a break from feelings, cause after he left her, she was hearbroken and she can not allow herself feelings anymore. I know that my way- the nice way- is the right way to her heart, but I know that the door is closed and no matter how much I try to walk that way, the door would still be closed.


This is why, boys. I have read EVERY comment of yours and I feel ALL your support. I am now following your advice. It is hard to see that someone who you want to be with SO much wants your attention and you still ignore it (last night ), but it seems it is either me who is going to get hurt or her who is gonna feel pissed off at me for doing this. She is not the bad guy of the story- it is just that feelings came on the wrong place at the wrong time and we cant control that. I am following your advices boys!!! I will keep my friendship with her, but will no longer give her the care and support she needs. I will not IGNORE her, but I will ignore her needs. Thanks... BROTHERS!!!

She seems like she may make good as a practice sex partner. Take advantage of her kindness. She may be of some use to you. I think both of you can benefit from this FWB situation. I wouldnt totally kick her to the curb if she is willing to trade your sympathetic-ear for some pounding-pussy practice. (Without the emotions) This could work. Think about it.

Zambrodom3;587866 said:

"Women are all the same- they like to be treated bad and treated like shit, I do not understand that, but I guess that is the way you women are...". Her answer... well it was "Yes,

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All WOMEN want to be treated like Queens (rare cases excluded). Many little girls seeking bad boys want to be "treated like shit".

When I was with my ex after 15 years, I started going out and partying. She stood home every night while I was out having fun at strip clubs, bars, etc. I started not paying attention to her anymore. She thought I was out fucking every night when I wasn't. She eventually started fucking everyone in our neighborhood and in the state to get back at me so I left her. Unfortunately for her, I hit a phase in my life that I wanted to party and I tried to bring her with me at times but she always ruined the night. So yes, moral of the story is most women/girls will fuck allot of other men to try to forget about a man they loved to get over him.

Disco Dave;587874 said:

She seems like she may make good as a practice sex partner. Take advantage of her kindness. She may be of some use to you. I think both of you can benefit from this FWB situation. I wouldnt totally kick her to the curb if she is willing to trade your sympathetic-ear for some pounding-pussy practice. (Without the emotions) This could work. Think about it.

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Well said. On this level it could be good if he can emotionally detach himself from her.

yes, but the crucial question is if you, Zam, are up to the difficult task of detaching yourself from her emotionally while still using the benefits of this relationship.From what I've read out of your first post you seem to be just too involved to play it like that. I (as anyone else here) may very well be wrong since I don't know the situation or her in detail but this could fire back at you. Just a thought...

Disco Dave, he tried that, but he became attached even while trying his hardest not to, so that isn't the right answer.

Zam, you may be right that "deep down" she is different than she is acting, however, whether that is true or not (I don't think its true, I think she is playing you), your actions should be the same. Because even if deep down she wants to be with a nice guy, she certainly doesn't want that right now, and she probably only thinks she wants that, when, in reality, she wants the opposite.

But I think she made up the story about wanting to be with a nice guy. What probably happened is there was a nice guy, she treated him like shit, so he eventually left her. Do you want to be the second nice guy that that happens to? Yes, she probably likes nice guys because they let her get away with treating them like shit. So ignore everything that she says or has said, instead look at her past ACTIONS.

Anyway, I am proud of you! That is great that you have been able to ignore her, that is a REALLY tough thing to do. Keep at it and step it up a notch if you can. Like 8incyclops said, say negative things to her regarding her looks, etc. while you are with another girl (and only after you're with another girl otherwise it just sounds pathetic). This will show her that she isn't good enough for you meaning you're better than her, and girls always want to be with people who are better than them.

ShadedSam;587955 said:

Disco Dave, he tried that, but he became attached even while trying his hardest not to, so that isn't the right answer.

Zam, you may be right that "deep down" she is different than she is acting, however, whether that is true or not (I don't think its true, I think she is playing you), your actions should be the same. Because even if deep down she wants to be with a nice guy, she certainly doesn't want that right now, and she probably only thinks she wants that, when, in reality, she wants the opposite.

But I think she made up the story about wanting to be with a nice guy. What probably happened is there was a nice guy, she treated him like shit, so he eventually left her. Do you want to be the second nice guy that that happens to? Yes, she probably likes nice guys because they let her get away with treating them like shit. So ignore everything that she says or has said, instead look at her past ACTIONS.

Anyway, I am proud of you! That is great that you have been able to ignore her, that is a REALLY tough thing to do. Keep at it and step it up a notch if you can. Like 8incyclops said, say negative things to her regarding her looks, etc. while you are with another girl (and only after you're with another girl otherwise it just sounds pathetic). This will show her that she isn't good enough for you meaning you're better than her, and girls always want to be with people who are better than them.

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Real talk, nice post!

ShadedSam;587955 said:

ignore everything that she says or has said, instead look at her past ACTIONS.

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Agreed. "Judge me by my actions and not by my words".

What she stated just seems to be about perception. She wants to be perceived a certain way by you, but her actions say otherwise.

seems it is either me who is going to get hurt or her who is gonna feel pissed off at me for doing this

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You pretty much could say she put you in this position of pushing her away.

I will keep my friendship with her, but will no longer give her the care and support she needs. I will not IGNORE her, but I will ignore her needs

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Not sure what friendship means to you, but care/support is a broad term. Even some care/support/need is needed to sustain a 'friendship'.
So you might want to rethink your stance if she asks you where you and her stand as far as companions go. As it's kind of a contradiction since it wasn't defined(the above).

Zam, kogato go vidish tova brat pishi molq te. Ne se predavai, i izvinqvai che ne bqh tuk da ti pomogna, moya greshka.

Yes boys. I see what you all mean. Benefiting from this whole thing is what I wanted to do and I tried. I saw that a fuck buddy is a great option to have in this situation, but it seemed like she had NO interest for me (and I am unsure whether I should show interest now since that would break my ignore and would make me look her weaker in her eyes- like I cant go on without her etc.), so I might try her again, but am not sure if this is the right thing to do...

Today she came to us drunk again and she started shaing how afraid she was of having STD or HIV, cause of the unprotected drunk sex she had... But to be HONEST there is ONE thing I do not understand at all!!!! WHY is it when she is drunk she is willing to fuck everyone and is SOO easy to fuck, but when I try to get my sex she does not want that!?!? I will try again and see what happens, I will just make sure she is very drunk (this is the part where I see that it is all hopeless when it comes to feelings and the BEST I can do is just benefit from a fuck buddy to bring me pleasure and experience). From now on I will be the one that will try to USE her, not her using me! I will be the one that will try to benefit as much as I can from the situation .

Thank you brothers, I will not give up, I will try to get the best out of the situation AGAIN and I hope it works this time... this is the best I can do at this rate. And I KNOW that she will MISS ME. Just wait till she goes back to her country and realizes what she actually did, foolish whore .

All the best, Zam