Sex isnt fun and sometimes not possible

C

Cogswell

0
Some of you guys are complaining about being a 2 minute man. I'd run a schoolbus off the road to last that long. I cum the instant my penis is inserted into my gf and the whole thing sucks. We barely bother having sex anymore as it's frustrating and pointless for us. Funny part is she's actually understanding (She's a urologist) but this is lame.

What can I do? I'm ready to hang up my dick for good and say it fuck it all. I need a practical yet doable solution that I can crack away at every day?

*Things to Keep in mind

-virgin till I was 25, 29 now
-uncircumcised
-was on an SSRI till last year (Couldn't get it up well, still blew early)
-Was on wellbutrin (Could sort of get it up, stopped taking it two months ago)
-Been with my gf for over a year now
-"Just have sex" isn't a solution since we're long distance now and that never worked anyway since she was so frustrated too.
 
Cogswell;601884 said:
Some of you guys are complaining about being a 2 minute man. I'd run a schoolbus off the road to last that long. I cum the instant my penis is inserted into my gf and the whole thing sucks. We barely bother having sex anymore as it's frustrating and pointless for us. Funny part is she's actually understanding (She's a urologist) but this is lame.

What can I do? I'm ready to hang up my dick for good and say it fuck it all. I need a practical yet doable solution that I can crack away at every day?

*Things to Keep in mind

-virgin till I was 25, 29 now
-uncircumcised
-was on an SSRI till last year (Couldn't get it up well, still blew early)
-Was on wellbutrin (Could sort of get it up, stopped taking it two months ago)
-Been with my gf for over a year now
-"Just have sex" isn't a solution since we're long distance now and that never worked anyway since she was so frustrated too.
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so you are not on any medication right now that has any sexual side effects? You stopped them? So is your EQ good now?

have you tried sensitivity reducing gels or creams? do you use a condom when you attempt to have sex with her? some condoms come already lubricated with a mild numbing agent.

of course that can decrease sensitivity for her as well if you apply it right before sex. If you are able to get an erection without manual stimulation you can apply the numbing agent 30 mins before sex then it will have had time to work and won't run the risk of decreasing sensitivity for her.
 
-I'm on no medications right now at all (Lexapro Aug 09' - Apr 12', Prozac Aug 12' - July 13' (Both SSRIs) Wellbutrin July 13' - July 2014) Wellbutrin doesn't have side fx. My EQ is still bad at this point. I call it a bullshit boner, it's hard enough but it's the full monty, if you will.

-I've never tried gels or creams and oddly enough i last even less with a condom. Sometimes I'll bust as I'm putting the condom on. This whole scenario is comical at best.
We had a pretty good run where I'd last maybe 10 seconds bust, and then stay hard and keep going. I've maybe got her off like 5 times. Not exactly setting the world on fire with these numbers.

I need a program of stimulation and exercises but don't know where to begin. Everyone's different, right?
 
everyone is different. in your readings of other men's premature issues did you read anythings that worked for them? what techniques have you tried so far? do you watch any adult entertainment or anything?
 
Ya the condoms and pills might not help. Do you premature if she gives you oral or a handjob? Is she super hot? Just trying to understand if it's psychological or physical.
 
She's been on me for a year to basically "do your 20 minutes" basically jerking off for a while, start stop technique. I have the discipline of a child im afraid. I won't even do that. I try to watch adult entertainment as least as possible, went for 2 months without looking at it. Didn't matter much as we weren't having sex. But oddly enough during that period we had sex once and I lasted quite long I must say but that was an aberration.

-Handjobs and Oral I'm never that hard but do last a bit longer than regular sex. It's sometimes so sensitive that literally air from a fan will set it off. Yeah, she's hot for sure. An annoyance is she can only get off when she's on top, which A makes it difficult for me to control and B. can't get as hard as an erection I'd like. Recently she was trying to talk to me as we were having sex so my mind would be off, but then my dick caught her nuvaring (birth control) and it hurt like a mother fucker, and then I came.

This is really an annoyance as none of my friends but one have this issue and can't relate and can only offer "It's all mental, man." As if that's gonna make this easy, but I gotta start somewhere.

It's a physical component as well as mental:
When I was 10 a younger cousin accused me of molesting him (which was untrue) Little did I know I repressed sex and human contact for all those years and it wasn't till I was 25/6 when I was with the first girl I lost my virginity to and she noticed I was very closed (my body language) with her, and we'd been fooling around for a while at that point. She kept asking if I was ever abused and said no, but then I finally remembered the accusations. For all those years I'd been repressing sexual feelings. I really need to see a therapist on that issue but I digress.
 
PE in general will help you with this issue. You seem to be overly sensitive and this is why you ejaculate too quickly, the feelings are just too much to handle. When practicing penis enlargement these sensitivity issues become less and less due to the constant handling of your penis. Much of the girth work in PE is very much like sex in a much more intense way. If you start to practice PE your penis will become more conditioned to the intensity and this will translate to longer sex.
 
Well it sounds like your girl is very supportive and that is important. As long as you both Want each other and you keep trying I'm sure you will be fucking like a champ in no time
 
Cogswell;601890 said:
-I'm on no medications right now at all (Lexapro Aug 09' - Apr 12', Prozac Aug 12' - July 13' (Both SSRIs) Wellbutrin July 13' - July 2014) Wellbutrin doesn't have side fx. My EQ is still bad at this point. I call it a bullshit boner, it's hard enough but it's the full monty, if you will.

-I've never tried gels or creams and oddly enough i last even less with a condom. Sometimes I'll bust as I'm putting the condom on. This whole scenario is comical at best.
We had a pretty good run where I'd last maybe 10 seconds bust, and then stay hard and keep going. I've maybe got her off like 5 times. Not exactly setting the world on fire with these numbers.

I need a program of stimulation and exercises but don't know where to begin. Everyone's different, right?
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You could try other drugs. Dapoxetine works very well for me and of course for a better boner Viagra or cialis
 
Another thing you could try is masturbating 30 minutes before sex, pop a Viagra and you should be good for quite a while.
 
Currently I'm taking Zoloft and just pop a cialis if I know I'll be having sex. If Zoloft doesn't work try upping the dose and if that doesn't work effexor should. But effexor is a BITCH to come off of because of withdrawal symptoms. And if that doesnt work then jack off 30 min before having sex in addition to the meds. Also if cialis doesn't work you can do both cialis AND Viagra. You could also add horny goat weed, maca, etc. to the mix.

Also start therapy. Medication should get you going so that therapy will work better but therapy can help you get to a point where you don't need meds or you don't need as much.
 
Hey Guys,

I appreciate the suggestions and support. I'd prefer to avoid any of the prescribed medications but am open to trying Horny Goat weed. I've tried Cialis once with her but it didn't do a damn thing. To quote Larry David "This is a very schizophrenic organ."

I've done some Jelquing in the past but nothing with any regularity. I have noticed it to be quite effective even though my time with it was brief. My goal for this month is to really realign myself, especially with this issue. I'm going to try to be as consistent as possible with PE with a focus on premature ejaculation while trying to increase my EQ.

I'll try to update as things come up.
 
Good attitude Cogswell, you got some awesome advice I hope it helps you and you can start having a healthy sexual lifestyle. Keep us up to date on your progress.
 
Cogswell;602614 said:
Hey Guys,

I appreciate the suggestions and support. I'd prefer to avoid any of the prescribed medications but am open to trying Horny Goat weed. I've tried Cialis once with her but it didn't do a damn thing. To quote Larry David "This is a very schizophrenic organ."


I've done some Jelquing in the past but nothing with any regularity. I have noticed it to be quite effective even though my time with it was brief. My goal for this month is to really realign myself, especially with this issue. I'm going to try to be as consistent as possible with PE with a focus on premature ejaculation while trying to increase my EQ.

I'll try to update as things come up.
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If you want to go the OTC route I would say horny goat weed is the most effect. I would estimate 750mg hgw equal to 25mg Viagra. It won't help lasting power though. Only things that will help you last longer are ssri or the power of your own mind. Like dld said wacking it before will help a lot but you need solid eq to go the next time so if you aren't willing to take Viagra it could be tough
 
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Jacking off right before doesn't help premature ejaculation a lot of times. DON'T take horny goat weed when your not on meds. That will make the premature ejaculation worse. Is there any particular reason you don't wanna do meds? I doubt you'll be able to beat this without them. You should use them to get your confidence up at a minimum then learn how to stop premature ejaculation as you slowly get off.

Also you said you can sometimes keep going after ejaculation. You could try doing a high dose of Viagra/cialis that way you're much more likely to bust a nut early and then stay hard :)
 
ShadedSam;602779 said:
Jacking off right before doesn't help premature ejaculation a lot of times. DON'T take horny goat weed when your not on meds. That will make the premature ejaculation worse. Is there any particular reason you don't wanna do meds? I doubt you'll be able to beat this without them. You should use them to get your confidence up at a minimum then learn how to stop premature ejaculation as you slowly get off.

Also you said you can sometimes keep going after ejaculation. You could try doing a high dose of Viagra/cialis that way you're much more likely to bust a nut early and then stay hard :)
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I really don't want to be on anti depressants. I fundamentally don't believe in them for me personally. Been there, did that. Nothing can be worse than my Olympic endurance of 1 second so I really have nothing to lose with horny goat weed.

The biggest thing for me and my dumb ego is the lack of control over my own body.
 
Don't blame yourself plenty of men premature. Just think positive and focus on the good. Your girl loves you and you obviously want to preform better. Mind over matter bro
 
acromegaly;602842 said:
Don't blame yourself plenty of men premature. Just think positive and focus on the good. Your girl loves you and you obviously want to preform better. Mind over matter bro
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True and the point that he is asking for help is a big step. First, recognizing the problem and then going for help and utilizing the help is what change is about. We can sometimes feel like we are the only one with a problem and this can feel very lonely but when we come to the Brotherhood for help we realize we are not so alone. Many men have come here with this problem and made excellent changes that have changed their lives.
 
Yeah prem ejac sucks balls. I never was at that point but when I had really bad anxiety before going on meds it would happen to me as well. I'm a little confused. In your first post you said you would drive a school bus off the road to last 2 minutes, but you're not willing to try different meds? It took me years and 5 differnt antidepressants to find one that worked for me. Is it a religious thing? You can also try a beta blocker. It isn't an anti depressant but it could help.
 
ShadedSam;603268 said:
Yeah prem ejac sucks balls. I never was at that point but when I had really bad anxiety before going on meds it would happen to me as well. I'm a little confused. In your first post you said you would drive a school bus off the road to last 2 minutes, but you're not willing to try different meds? It took me years and 5 differnt antidepressants to find one that worked for me. Is it a religious thing? You can also try a beta blocker. It isn't an anti depressant but it could help.
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What do beta blockers do?
 
ShadedSam;603268 said:
Yeah prem ejac sucks balls. I never was at that point but when I had really bad anxiety before going on meds it would happen to me as well. I'm a little confused. In your first post you said you would drive a school bus off the road to last 2 minutes, but you're not willing to try different meds? It took me years and 5 differnt antidepressants to find one that worked for me. Is it a religious thing? You can also try a beta blocker. It isn't an anti depressant but it could help.
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was it the beta blocker that worked for you?

doublelongdaddy;603367 said:
What do beta blockers do?
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they are used for controlling abnormal hearth rhythms, high BP, glaucoma, other heart diagnosis...various things. they arent generaly prescribed for anxiety as a first line med but have success for some people. it's not usually prescribed as a long term anxiety med that is used regularly. Usually for as needed use such as public speaking. Students in college may take it before giving a presentation.

What i read about its use in prem. ejac. shows it doesn't work great for the majority of people who try it for in hopes it will help with that.
 
ShadedSam;603268 said:
Yeah prem ejac sucks balls. I never was at that point but when I had really bad anxiety before going on meds it would happen to me as well. I'm a little confused. In your first post you said you would drive a school bus off the road to last 2 minutes, but you're not willing to try different meds? It took me years and 5 differnt antidepressants to find one that worked for me. Is it a religious thing? You can also try a beta blocker. It isn't an anti depressant but it could help.
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What ssri do you like Zoloft? I'm taking lexapro now and I add dapoxetine before sex
 
Jdcsd;603718 said:
What ssri do you like Zoloft? I'm taking lexapro now and I add dapoxetine before sex
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Yeah Zoloft. I tried lexapro for a few months it didn't do anything for me. It was like I was taking nothing even when I upped the dose.
 
ShadedSam;603780 said:
Yeah Zoloft. I tried lexapro for a few months it didn't do anything for me. It was like I was taking nothing even when I upped the dose.
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I'm gonna up my dose and see how I do but I may try Zoloft again. I took it before but it was a very low dose
 
youknowme123321;603423 said:
was it the beta blocker that worked for you?



they are used for controlling abnormal hearth rhythms, high BP, glaucoma, other heart diagnosis...various things. they arent generaly prescribed for anxiety as a first line med but have success for some people. it's not usually prescribed as a long term anxiety med that is used regularly. Usually for as needed use such as public speaking. Students in college may take it before giving a presentation.

What i read about its use in prem. ejac. shows it doesn't work great for the majority of people who try it for in hopes it will help with that.
Click to expand...

It would be awesome if there was a medication that worked for all people in the same way. Psychological medications are always met with the response that they work for some people but not all, this is not acceptable to me and it frustrates me. I know that when I smoke weed I am going to get high and so is everyone else that does it, there is no question there. I know if I were to use Heroin I would get the same effect as anyone else that took it. When it comes to psych meds it is always just the opposite, no real proof, just some work for some people and not others.
 
ShadedSam;603268 said:
Yeah prem ejac sucks balls. I never was at that point but when I had really bad anxiety before going on meds it would happen to me as well. I'm a little confused. In your first post you said you would drive a school bus off the road to last 2 minutes, but you're not willing to try different meds? It took me years and 5 differnt antidepressants to find one that worked for me. Is it a religious thing? You can also try a beta blocker. It isn't an anti depressant but it could help.
Click to expand...

I just didn't want to be on anti depressants. My depression for the most part has been situational and not of a chemical imbalance. It's something I want to get through on my own and plus my sex drive was in the rubbish when I was on SSRIs. It just irritates me that most dudes (seemingly) can just have sex at will and last as long as they want and I'm stuck with a fucking grenade between my legs, going off the second the pin is pulled.

As patient an understanding as my gf has been once we do the deed we're both usually in a dumb mood after i blow my load. This problem sucks so much ass I can barely type right now I'm so frustrated.
 
ShadedSam;603268 said:
Yeah prem ejac sucks balls. I never was at that point but when I had really bad anxiety before going on meds it would happen to me as well. I'm a little confused. In your first post you said you would drive a school bus off the road to last 2 minutes, but you're not willing to try different meds? It took me years and 5 differnt antidepressants to find one that worked for me. Is it a religious thing? You can also try a beta blocker. It isn't an anti depressant but it could help.
Click to expand...

doublelongdaddy;603859 said:
It would be awesome if there was a medication that worked for all people in the same way. Psychological medications are always met with the response that they work for some people but not all, this is not acceptable to me and it frustrates me. I know that when I smoke weed I am going to get high and so is everyone else that does it, there is no question there. I know if I were to use Heroin I would get the same effect as anyone else that took it. When it comes to psych meds it is always just the opposite, no real proof, just some work for some people and not others.
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well weed doesn't gibe everyone the exact same high. or even the exact same medicinal benefits. there are people who can treat anxiety with weed...for others it may cause anxiety. it can help some with improving appetite but not others. when it comes to brain chemistry and altering it will always be different for individuals. it will always come down to does something have positive results for the majority of people who use it (whatever it is).
 
Cogs, Have you used or looked into using a cock ring? They can help you get a better erection, helps you mentally get over the fear of not getting hard, helps keep you erect even after orgasm so you can keep having sex with little to no down time, will engorge your penis with blood making it bigger.

PE of course will help with your issue long term and a good cock ring can help in the short term. Good luck man.

Potential $5 solution worth looking into.
 
jakb;604140 said:
Cogs, Have you used or looked into using a cock ring? They can help you get a better erection, helps you mentally get over the fear of not getting hard, helps keep you erect even after orgasm so you can keep having sex with little to no down time, will engorge your penis with blood making it bigger.

PE of course will help with your issue long term and a good cock ring can help in the short term. Good luck man.

Potential $5 solution worth looking into.
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I was actually thinking on it for a while but I kind of just forgot about it. I'll have to give it a whirl.
 
do what im doing checking my thread bro 10 inch journy i am the master of sex i choose when to nut , ijust gave some people a crazy amazing routine that would apply to you
 
youknowme123321;604139 said:
well weed doesn't gibe everyone the exact same high. or even the exact same medicinal benefits. there are people who can treat anxiety with weed...for others it may cause anxiety. it can help some with improving appetite but not others. when it comes to brain chemistry and altering it will always be different for individuals. it will always come down to does something have positive results for the majority of people who use it (whatever it is).
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Yeah but at least you know there is going to be a change in feeling opposed to feeling nothing at all and expecting that to benefit you. I believe that if placebo's were given in place of the real medications most results would remain the same.
 
Cogswell;604135 said:
I just didn't want to be on anti depressants. My depression for the most part has been situational and not of a chemical imbalance. It's something I want to get through on my own and plus my sex drive was in the rubbish when I was on SSRIs. It just irritates me that most dudes (seemingly) can just have sex at will and last as long as they want and I'm stuck with a fucking grenade between my legs, going off the second the pin is pulled.

As patient an understanding as my gf has been once we do the deed we're both usually in a dumb mood after i blow my load. This problem sucks so much ass I can barely type right now I'm so frustrated.
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try not to get mad about it after it happens. dont beat yourself up. stay positive and keep trying.
 
doublelongdaddy;603859 said:
It would be awesome if there was a medication that worked for all people in the same way. Psychological medications are always met with the response that they work for some people but not all, this is not acceptable to me and it frustrates me. I know that when I smoke weed I am going to get high and so is everyone else that does it, there is no question there. I know if I were to use Heroin I would get the same effect as anyone else that took it. When it comes to psych meds it is always just the opposite, no real proof, just some work for some people and not others.
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I've never had sex while on a beta blocker, just throwing it out there as it isn't an antidepressant but can help with anxiety.

Actually weed doesn't get me high. At all. No matter how much I do. I've never tried heroine.

You don't have to guess that placebos would work just as well because there are mountains of evidence showing that that is precisely the case most of the time. If you're able to get ahold of the data on the double blind studies, often it will show something like 30% improved on placebo 37% improved on the antidepressant, and that is considered to be a differentiation significant enough to market the drug for depression.
 
ShadedSam;604362 said:
You don't have to guess that placebos would work just as well because there are mountains of evidence showing that that is precisely the case most of the time. If you're able to get ahold of the data on the double blind studies, often it will show something like 30% improved on placebo 37% improved on the antidepressant, and that is considered to be a differentiation significant enough to market the drug for depression.
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Exactly what I have read on most studies and I would love to see a study that offers better results for me to put my confidence in them working. I have never heard of anyone not getting high from smacking weed, so I guess I was off on that point.
 
Hey guys,

I haven't been doing much in the way of PE but have been working on edging and stopping before the point of no return a la Back to the future 3. Gotta get into the routine of PE and kegel work.
 
Cogswell;604920 said:
Hey guys,

I haven't been doing much in the way of PE but have been working on edging and stopping before the point of no return a la Back to the future 3. Gotta get into the routine of PE and kegel work.
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You got to start somewhere so I am glad you have started something. Edging and Kegels will definitely work to improve your [words=http://fleshlight.sjv.io/c/348327/302851/4702]stamina[/words] in bed, and this is what you want most. You may want to also include some jelqing to help with sensitivity in sex, jelqs help to lessen the sensitivity which increases the [words=http://fleshlight.sjv.io/c/348327/302851/4702]stamina[/words].
 
Cogswell;604920 said:
Hey guys,

I haven't been doing much in the way of PE but have been working on edging and stopping before the point of no return a la Back to the future 3. Gotta get into the routine of PE and kegel work.
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Awesome stick with it bro
Let us know when you start murdering the pussy :)
 
Cogswell, how are things going for you? Are things improving?
 
Jdcsd;606517 said:
Yoga helps this problem? I thought the only point of yoga was to check out chicks in tight pants with great butts :)
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lol...that is one of the good parts but there are many others. I think it is tough for a man to actually get himself to go to a class but believe me after one class with a good instructor you will be hooked!
 
doublelongdaddy;606606 said:
lol...that is one of the good parts but there are many others. I think it is tough for a man to actually get himself to go to a class but believe me after one class with a good instructor you will be hooked!
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I did some contractor work for a chain of yoga studios and I was hooked lol damn there were a lot of hot chicks. I told my buddy we need to start up on some yoga ASAP
 
Jdcsd;606933 said:
I did some contractor work for a chain of yoga studios and I was hooked lol damn there were a lot of hot chicks. I told my buddy we need to start up on some yoga ASAP
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Especially when they have that puffy camel toe in their yoga pants:)
 
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