Jekyllnhyde360/My Personal Hanging Log
- Thread starter jekyllnhyde360
- Start date
jekyllnhyde360
New member
i've put on 65lbs since august (of fat) not cool at all. I feel weak and lethargic all the time, and super unmotivated, the nothing like going to put on a hanger and running out of breath and sweating by the time you get it on. it's so hard, i actually gave up after day 4 last time i started back up.
TBH, my life has been on a downward spiral since the od 2 years ago, i just can't seem to pull myself together, i thought getting off the dope would push me forward, but its kinda just left me feeling anxious and depressed, like om missing something. Anyways, not trying sound like a downer, i have a ton to be thankful for and i absolutely am, but i think i just need some drastic action or something.
Another thing os that im back living with my mom, i love her more than life, but i'm about to be 29 in a few weeks, and this is NOT how i thought my life would turn out.
I ended up here because after the od, i started having neurological problems, so for over a year, we weren't sure if it was the beginning of parkinsons or als, it was a very very scary time, i couldn't sleep for days at a time, my beard literally has grey and im only 28. Anyways, im ok, i have essential tremor which sucks, but its honestly a gift in comparison to what i could have had.
Between knocking on deaths door, and the problems that followed afterwards, it's been a rough couple of years, but im feeling good, im just lost and very unhappy about where i am.
TBH, my life has been on a downward spiral since the od 2 years ago, i just can't seem to pull myself together, i thought getting off the dope would push me forward, but its kinda just left me feeling anxious and depressed, like om missing something. Anyways, not trying sound like a downer, i have a ton to be thankful for and i absolutely am, but i think i just need some drastic action or something.
Another thing os that im back living with my mom, i love her more than life, but i'm about to be 29 in a few weeks, and this is NOT how i thought my life would turn out.
I ended up here because after the od, i started having neurological problems, so for over a year, we weren't sure if it was the beginning of parkinsons or als, it was a very very scary time, i couldn't sleep for days at a time, my beard literally has grey and im only 28. Anyways, im ok, i have essential tremor which sucks, but its honestly a gift in comparison to what i could have had.
Between knocking on deaths door, and the problems that followed afterwards, it's been a rough couple of years, but im feeling good, im just lost and very unhappy about where i am.
jekyllnhyde360;751191 said:
Kicking the habit is the beginning of healing, time needs to pass so you forget the high. For me it took a good 2-3 years before the mental cravings for Heroin started to fade. Today I have been off Heroin for 16 years and I can tell you, I never have a craving nor do I even remember what shooting dope was like! God is good! I am really pulling for you on this and will keep you snug in my prayers everyday! I am so proud of you!
Weight gain is OK, do not get down on yourself. It is a result of the hard times you are getting through. It can be lost very quickly with the right diet and exercise routine. For me physical activities brought more dopamine to my brain giving me small highs to get through the tough times plus I was losing weight while doing this. So get yourself on a good diet and exercise routine asap. It will be so important to your healing and losing weight.
You are not knocking on Heaven door yet my Brother, you have much more to do here!
jekyllnhyde360
New member
doublelongdaddy;751259 said:
Thank you so much DLD, i really needed to hear that. I sound horrible, but i am extremely grateful that i pulled through, and for what i have. I think i just have to do what you said and start working out out or something, i've been really interested in calisthenics/bar training. I'm going to either get a freestanding chin up bar or gym rings and start that.
As far as diet, it think i might do a water fast, then hit up a fruit based diet for a while.
Big Schwanz Acht
@Big Schwanz Acht
beginning anything, i.e. diet, exercise,working,PE, etc. is always the most difficult part. being active and having goals or something to strive-for, can help...action breeds action/success breeds success. If you're not currently employed, maybe spend some time volunteering for a cause you're interested in...keeping your mind engaged with the rest of the world will enable you to have more perspective. It sounds like you've overcome the most difficult stretch, now it's just time to roll-up your sleeves 
we're here if you need any direction or assistance
we're here if you need any direction or assistance
Bro, I can't completely relate cause Ive never done drugs except that one time I took some ecstasy before hitting the titty bar (waste of 30 bucks didn't feel shit). But I also get down sometimes when I gain a little bit of weight, don't get overwhelmed or be to tough on yourself if you can't get everything done. Focus on one thing at a time, this forum is always here to back you up!
BIGDADDYBOOTYBREAKER;751760 said:
We are a Brotherhood that is here for one another and when one Brother is down we are there for him. I really love the way the Brotherhood has become, such caring, loving men helping one another and getting help. It was always my dream to have [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] be a Family, Praise the Living God it happened!
Big Schwanz Acht
@Big Schwanz Acht
doublelongdaddy;751769 said:
Just playing 'follow the leader'
I just read this whole thread since I also started hagning with malehanger recently, noticed how in beginning you were optimistic about gaining with smaller weight, then when you confirmed you needed higher weight and gains didn`t happen you became sad. I am 19 so I can`t understand what you are going through but when you are depressed, remember all the positive things in life and be thankful. Helps me a lot when I get down cuz of my flaws.
And for training, maybe join crossfit, aftter trying many sports through my life,I realized that training with others in a session where everyone cheers you on, is the feeling you could only feel as a child when playing sports with you friends.Also, it helps with losing weight a lot, if you can afford it try it just remember to bring the water bottle with you, since sessions are intense
jekyllnhyde360
New member
Did a starter set 10lbs for 40 min (5 min break at 20) Felt really good. One thing thats bothering me, FOREVER!!! is that i cant get a smooth wrap for shit. im using the malehanger, it's great, but i just can't manage to get a proper set at 30lbs without it feeling like it's going to rip my dick head off. And this is kind of a big deal seeing as i want to start at 30 lbs next monday.
I've been teetering long enough as to whether im actually going to commit, i'm fat as fuck nowadays and just lost all motivation, even my EQ has suffered.
But the other day i was thinking about how good i felt the first time i banged my EX after gaining the inch in length a 1/2'' in girth years ago, i remember her actually noticing big time, it was the first time i ever had that white cream on my dick while fucking her, like she was so hot, and came 3-4 in like the first hour.
And honestly, it brought a tear to my eye, it's been a good minute that i've felt good about my life.
So i decided im going to take action and change my life, diet, physique, dick size etc... i'm going to write about the other stuff in the health section.
But as for PE, im doing it, and im aiming high, i'm 7 bpel now, so im going to go to 10 bpel, thats 3 solid inches, and i think it's doable in 3 years.
i realized something, how rare is it for a guy to be walking around with a club like that, pretty friggin' rare man, and if i make it to 9'' fantastic, im setting the bar high for a reason. i want to feel good again. and i want a big dick.
I've been teetering long enough as to whether im actually going to commit, i'm fat as fuck nowadays and just lost all motivation, even my EQ has suffered.
But the other day i was thinking about how good i felt the first time i banged my EX after gaining the inch in length a 1/2'' in girth years ago, i remember her actually noticing big time, it was the first time i ever had that white cream on my dick while fucking her, like she was so hot, and came 3-4 in like the first hour.
And honestly, it brought a tear to my eye, it's been a good minute that i've felt good about my life.
So i decided im going to take action and change my life, diet, physique, dick size etc... i'm going to write about the other stuff in the health section.
But as for PE, im doing it, and im aiming high, i'm 7 bpel now, so im going to go to 10 bpel, thats 3 solid inches, and i think it's doable in 3 years.
i realized something, how rare is it for a guy to be walking around with a club like that, pretty friggin' rare man, and if i make it to 9'' fantastic, im setting the bar high for a reason. i want to feel good again. and i want a big dick.
Wow, I can understand that lack of motivation, of have been without energy for so long now it is disheartening. But I believe I know why, aside from my lingering sickness, it was daylight saving time again and at every one of these useless hours save or spend bullshit. Leave the fucking closes alone and so many would not fall into an unnecessary depression! But I have confidence that once I have adjusted and gotten better physically I will regain my motivation and energy. Never get down on yourself during these periods most of us go through it. You are also taking on a lot, aside from this work you are also trying to lose a great deal of weight, again, I can relate. So knowing you are doing all this, give yourself credit and the off days, brush off as simply normal.
Big Schwanz Acht
@Big Schwanz Acht
awesome news J&H...use any/all shreds of positivity to get/keep motivated. we're all in your corner!
jekyllnhyde360
New member
doublelongdaddy;753412 said:
Thanks DLD i truly appreciate it. And i never thought of that, but its true daylight savings and everything really does mess with my head, i can't stand the fluctuations, my internal clock craps out.
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Big Schwanz Acht;753445 said:
Thanks Big, much appreciated!
stillwantmore
New member
jekyllnhyde360;753407 said:
Email me and let's get the wrap situation figured out. My usual: malehanger@gmail.com
stillwantmore
New member
We exchanged thoughts by email and it looks like he's back on track.