Modelling Sex Gods (questions for the best men in bed)

Fellow MOS brothers, take the time to read this, it is of extremely importance to me and could also help a lot of guys here. If you don`t feel like reading it all, just skip to the questions at the end!

OVERVIEW

If there is a sexual library with a wealth of sexual knowledge this place is MOS. My objective is to model guys who are extremely good in bed, guys that can have sex wherever they want, with whoever they want at any time they want. Just like an amateur surfer could model Kelly Slater and become an extremely skillful surfer, I am determined to model the best of the best.

I`m 18 yrs old, and temporarily having some small little problems in bed and I wish you guys can help me.I know that everything is a product of our thinking. I know that our thoughts and beliefs dictate our reality, so what I want to do in this thread is to discover what goes on in YOUR mind so I can model that and achieve the same result as YOU.

MY STORY (if you don`t feel like reading it, just skip to the questions below!)

When I was younger, because of performance anxiety everytime I`d have sex with a girl I`d use Viagra. One day I was with my girl lying in bed and we had sex without me taking the pill. For the next 3 weeks we had mind-blowing sex without the pill and I was happy as shit!

Then, this day I was afraid I couldn’t get it up because her parents were at home, so I couldn`t achieve an erection and that made me doubt my recent gained ability. Some weeks passed by with a lot of performance anxiety, weak erections and embarrassment. Then, this night came when I used Viagra again and drove her crazy, and that made my confidence rise.

It seemed like magic: for the next weeks I had sex without the pill, some days 3 times a day and my confidence sky-rocketed. Sadly, the process is repeating itself again. As you can imagine because of ONE bad night (2 weeks ago), my mind is playing tricks with me again and its making me doubt my ability.

These last days everytime I`m about to have sex I get nervous and, while I`m able to get rock hard boners during foreplay, when I go to penetrate, in a matter of seconds the thing goes flaccid (I can feel the doubt in my mind “is it going to stay hard this time” when I`m about to penetrate). It is all in my fuckin mind, the problem isn’t physical. I`ve read a lot of books about the power of belief, the power of the subconscious, NLP, but I just can`t force a belief into my head! Some people say “just relax, just focus on the sensations in your body and keep your mind clear” but they don`t realize that that is extremely difficult.

Once, I smoked pot before sex and for that night I was a sex god – why? Because my mind was out of the way! I read It everywhere, I see many guys here on the forum talking about taking control of our minds but they don`t explain how. I know that when my mind is out of my way I CAN DO IT. I HAVE DONE IT. For God’s sake, many times I`ve spent 30+ min having sex, giving my girl intense mind-blowing orgasms, had extremely rock hard erections… but now it just seem so difficult. I just want to control my mind, that is it.

QUESTIONS

Your answers to these questions will help me understand what goes on in your minds, will help me think like you and use your strategies to succeed. Please answer each question separately.

1. What are your core beliefs about your performance in bed?

2. Do you feel afraid at any time about not being able to achieve and maintain your erection?

3. What goes on in your head when you know you`re going to have sex tonight?

4. When you feel that your erection is softening what are your immediate thoughts on that?

5. How do you manage to stay relaxed and clear-minded? In other words what do you focus on?

6. Do you have a strategy for maintaining rock hard erections? If yes, what is it?

7. Do you consider not being able to get hard one night a big deal?

8. Have you ever been in a similar situation? If yes, what have you done?

Thanks a lot to the guys that participate. Peace.

1. What are your core beliefs about your performance in bed?

All women I've been with have that look on their face like 'Holy shit my body can feel like this!' followed by the eye goggle look or the eye roll.

2. Do you feel afraid at any time about not being able to achieve and maintain your erection?

Back when I first started having sex I had this problem. Now that I've become comfortable with more then one girl where I can just sex them when I want I can get hard anytime, anywhere.

3. What goes on in your head when you know you`re going to have sex tonight?

'I hope thats tight' and 'I wonder if she likes getting her clit licked more or the lips licked'.

4. When you feel that your erection is softening what are your immediate thoughts on that?

None. If I start getting a little softer I'll go down on her and eat her out. It distracts from the fact that my dick just went soft.

5. How do you manage to stay relaxed and clear-minded? In other words what do you focus on?

Breathing in and out deeply in my stomach/lower abs. The feeling of friction on my dick vs her pussy. Basically keeps you hard and blood flowing and mind clear.

6. Do you have a strategy for maintaining rock hard erections? If yes, what is it?

Kegel while inside her and make full strokes. Full body moving up and down. Forward and back. Not that halfassed hip thrusting. Hip thrusting most of the time makes me get soft.

7. Do you consider not being able to get hard one night a big deal?

Not really. If she's a hoe then its my own fault for not getting laid, if its my women then I never have to worry. I can just lay down and cuddle with her and she likes it more then sex.

8. Have you ever been in a similar situation? If yes, what have you done?

Told them I'd be back in a couple hours. Haha.

Sex god should have been my new screen name. Anyway, here goes:

1. That's really hard to answer. I might have to come back to that one.

2. I was nervous as hell my first time that I wouldn't get it up. But my body just responded to my girl, I got hard, and I haven't ever looked back.

3. Usually I'm thinking of things I want to try in bed, or positions, various other things to make it good.

4. I just stroke it a bit and don't really think about it.

5. This is the most important question I think. I'll answer it at the end.

6. Don't really have a strategy. Although sometimes I take horny goat weed when I want to fuck several times in a row. That shit works!

7. I hate to sound like an asshole, but I've never not been able to get hard at all in a night.

OK, here's my take: You're overthinking this. You're a fucking man, damn it! Your body is wired to have sex. Its all we think about. At 18, you've got testosterone and all those other good male hormones coursing through your veins ready to give you an erection at the drop of a hat. It's the most natural thing in the world.

I suggest googling buddhist no-mind. This is a technique I've used (in a different context) to help me get over anxiety. Basically, you turn your analytical brain off and just feel. You can practice by meditation, focussing on your breathing, etc. But it's actually pretty simple to do. Just stop thinking. If you let your mind run wild, it will flood you with thoughts about worrying:

Shit, why the hell am I still not hard? I've had my clothes off for five minutes! What is she thinking? She's probably never seen a guy take this long to get an erection! Maybe if I kegel in some blood. OK it's getting bigger. Wait, no it's not...

And on and on it goes, with no end in sight. Practice turning off your brain and just let yourself experience what you're feeling (without analyzing it). Her lips, the softness of her skin, the warmth between her thighs, and before you know it, you will be hard as steel. Like I said, it's the most natural thing in the world. Deep down inside, you're an alpha male stud, you just need to take your mind out of the equation and let him do his thing.

Sorry for my rambling, I'm a little tipsy. Hang in there, bro.

Who's world is it? Its yours!

I've had this problem at times. It can be very difficult to control your mind when that is what you are focussed on. It's a little like telling someone not to think about pink elephants, and all they can do is think about pink elephants.

This isn't exactly a complete "solution", but I've just come to accept the fact that there are going to be some times when I don't get hard for whatever reason, I can't keep it hard for as long as I'd like, etc. I do what I can to improve my performance (kegals, etc.), but I don't expect myself to be a sex god every single time. Once I accept this, I can move on and start focussing on the woman and what she likes, and it's not really much of a problem.

I think we're all wired a little differently, and this may or may not work for you.

Alright, before I answer. I may not be the most qualified dude. I was a virgin until 21 (currently 25) which I blame on being the smartest kid in highschool that no one liked, but anyways.
I didn't have trouble getting it up though or performing though, so here it goes:

Dorsay;431110 said:

QUESTIONS

Your answers to these questions will help me understand what goes on in your minds, will help me think like you and use your strategies to succeed. Please answer each question separately.

1. What are your core beliefs about your performance in bed?
I can't be the best at everything and I don't need to. Just do a decent job and have fun here

2. Do you feel afraid at any time about not being able to achieve and maintain your erection?
I got scared once and subsequently had trouble getting it up. Thankfully kegeling hard got me through that one. Ever since I got away from ����, I'm getting a hard one from kissing which I find quite nice

3. What goes on in your head when you know you`re going to have sex tonight?
Nothing much, I dunno.

4. When you feel that your erection is softening what are your immediate thoughts on that?
Before sex: Oh crap, kegel hard. Think positively. Hope she doesn't notice.
Afterwards: Don't care.

5. How do you manage to stay relaxed and clear-minded? In other words what do you focus on?
I usually focus on her having a good time, i.e. kissing her everywhere before, stuff like that and try to stay in the moment, i.e. observing what she likes, doing that more and so on.

6. Do you have a strategy for maintaining rock hard erections? If yes, what is it?
I practise kegels and I'm considering getting a Bathmate, but I'd still say no. I avoid Penis Enlargement'ing at least 5-6h before sex though.

7. Do you consider not being able to get hard one night a big deal?
It would throw me off, I guess and make it that much more difficult the next time. It's really hard to break such a cycle, I guess.

8. Have you ever been in a similar situation? If yes, what have you done?
Sorry. Don't have advice here.

Thanks a lot to the guys that participate. Peace.

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To OMGOMGITSHUGE:

OK, here's my take: You're overthinking this. You're a fucking man, damn it! Your body is wired to have sex. Its all we think about. At 18, you've got testosterone and all those other good male hormones coursing through your veins ready to give you an erection at the drop of a hat. It's the most natural thing in the world.

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Exactly!

I suggest googling buddhist no-mind. This is a technique I've used (in a different context) to help me get over anxiety. Basically, you turn your analytical brain off and just feel. You can practice by meditation, focussing on your breathing, etc. But it's actually pretty simple to do. Just stop thinking. If you let your mind run wild, it will flood you with thoughts about worrying:

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I`ll google that. That is what I need: switch off my thoughts during sex. But the mere fact of thinking about this will make me anxious, like, before sex i`ll probably think: "alright, now I wont think about anything"

Shit, why the hell am I still not hard? I've had my clothes off for five minutes! What is she thinking? She's probably never seen a guy take this long to get an erection! Maybe if I kegel in some blood. OK it's getting bigger. Wait, no it's not...

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That is exactly what goes on in my head.

Like I said, it's the most natural thing in the world. Deep down inside, you're an alpha male stud, you just need to take your mind out of the equation and let him do his thing.

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How do I take my mind out of the equation? You see?

To Animalwannabe:

Back when I first started having sex I had this problem. Now that I've become comfortable with more then one girl where I can just sex them when I want I can get hard anytime, anywhere.

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What did you do exactly to get over it? When the girls kept coming in, didn`t you think the same thing was going to happen?

None. If I start getting a little softer I'll go down on her and eat her out. It distracts from the fact that my dick just went soft.

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Doesn`t your penis need stimulation in order to get hard? If you`re eating her out, and she asks you to enter her and you were flaccid...

'I hope thats tight' and 'I wonder if she likes getting her clit licked more or the lips licked'.

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I want to think just like that! Usually my first thought is a doubt.

To Mr. Clark

I've had this problem at times. It can be very difficult to control your mind when that is what you are focussed on. It's a little like telling someone not to think about pink elephants, and all they can do is think about pink elephants.

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That is my point

This isn't exactly a complete "solution", but I've just come to accept the fact that there are going to be some times when I don't get hard for whatever reason, I can't keep it hard for as long as I'd like, etc. I do what I can to improve my performance (kegals, etc.), but I don't expect myself to be a sex god every single time. Once I accept this, I can move on and start focussing on the woman and what she likes, and it's not really much of a problem

Click to expand...

A good mindset, since it keeps your mind out of the way. I`m gonna try that.

Thanks a lot guys! Right now I`m putting together a plan, integrating all your answers to come up with a new mindset for me. Your answers have all been of extremely importance to me!

Good thread. I will get around to answering it but for now I don't have the time. Moved to Sexuality section.

Hey Dorsay, have you ever considered being honest with your lady and letting her know what is up? Maybe coming clean will offer you relief from the anxiety and she could work with helping you get it straightened out. I think the best thing for you to do after you have been honest with her is to try giving your body an opportunity to adjust without any Viagra from now on no more Viagra. If your girl were to start sex off regularly with blow jobs that may help you get hard for sex and stop having the pressure of you wondering if you can get it up for sex or not. If she knows the two of you can work together in solving the problem instead of suffering alone. Do you think she would be helpful?

I agree completely with Turnover concerning complete withdrawal from (and no return to) Viagra. Immediately and forever.
You're only 18 now?
You started fucking when?
And even then you were dependent on drugs?

There comes a time when the crutch you use no longer simply helps you stand and walk on your own but becomes your announcement to the world that you are, in fact, a cripple.
You're way too fucking young to be a sexual cripple.

You've already proven you don't require it, but you refuse to believe your own results, much to your own detriment.


"I`ve read a lot of books about the power of belief, the power of the subconscious, NLP, but I just can`t force a belief into my head! Some people say “just relax, just focus on the sensations in your body and keep your mind clear” but they don`t realize that that is extremely difficult."

!. You can't force a belief- you either actually believe...or you don't. Beliefs are not decisions; they are beliefs
2. You'll never get anything new and positive into your head until you empty some space by getting rid of the old and negative. That's your first step right there. Empty that cup.

And, to quote the Kinks, "Paranoia will destroy ya."
Unless and until you actually start having faith and confidence in yourself nothing external will actually be of any benefit at all.

Any and all change must come from you, somewhere deep inside. You just gotta want it bad enough and get "yourself" outta the way.

Dorsay;431255 said:

To Animalwannabe:



What did you do exactly to get over it? When the girls kept coming in, didn`t you think the same thing was going to happen?

It doesn't matter. If the chicks keep comming in, then if I dont get hard for this one I'll get hard for the next. And above all to sound super gay, it was an emotional connection. Once I felt secure with the chick to the point that 'oh well it doesn't even matter' then I had no problems. There was no anxiety. No sweating. No cold body parts. No shakes. Nothing. Just inner warmth that flowed into my penis.

Doesn`t your penis need stimulation in order to get hard? If you`re eating her out, and she asks you to enter her and you were flaccid...

I dont know about your girl but my girl is clean and sweet. Just eating her out and watching her skirm and smelling/tasting her is enough to make my wood go badoing.

I want to think just like that! Usually my first thought is a doubt.

Whats there to doubt? You have a penis. It gets hard to satisfy women. If it doesn't get hard, cuddle with your girl instead cause emotional is worth a shitload more then bumping hips. If its a whore, thats a message from God saying dont get hard you'll catch the HIV.

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Truth.

MAXAMEYES;431297 said:

Any and all change must come from you, somewhere deep inside. You just gotta want it bad enough and get "yourself" outta the way.

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Word!!

Thanks guys! You`re all have been so much helpful! I think my mind is starting to change just by reading your responses. I read them last night and I had a dream I was fucking one of my classmates hahaha

Dorsay;431369 said:

Thanks guys! You`re all have been so much helpful! I think my mind is starting to change just by reading your responses. I read them last night and I had a dream I was fucking one of my classmates hahaha

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Penis Enlargement a la Inception, you've seen it first on MOS

Dorsay;431253 said:

That is exactly what goes on in my head.


How do I take my mind out of the equation? You see?

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I used this to get over a couple of other anxieties. One was before fighting, the other before public speaking.

To take my mind out of the equation, I practiced when there wasn't a lot at stake. I used to practice in the shower by trying to take an entire shower without thinking. I would try to focus completely on the sound of the water falling, the sensation of it hitting my skin, and the smells of the soap and shampoo. I would also practice eating a meal without thinking. I would just imagine my mind settling down and filling my tongue to take in the taste and smells of the food and not thinking about what I was doing in words (like "oh, this chicken is really good tonight. I wish it were a little more cooked though. And it could use some salt...etc). Your mind will do that forever if you let it.

I never got to the point where I could go an extended period of time without having any thoughts, but I realized I don't need to. So when I would be about to fight, my mind would start to race with all these thoughts (holy shit that dude is jacked! How is he even in my weight class? I'm going to get my ass kicked!), and I would remember that I didn't need to have those thoughts, they didn't lead anywhere good, and I would just focus on my breathing. And when my mind would start up again, I learned not to scold myself for thinking or try to force my mind to go blank, but instead just gently directed my attention to something other than self-talk. It feels really good, and it has helped me a lot.

One more thing: You're strong enough to over come this, and I predict that you're going to do it really soon. Hang in there, brother.

DORSAY, here's a little wisdom from Ed Parker;

In every self defense situation there are "Three Points of View". These points of view in order are:1) Your point of view2) Your opponents point of view3) Bystanders point of viewWhen examining a self defense technique you should be looking at these points of view to find the logic, or lack of logic that a self defense technique contains.Examine the validity of a move or sequence of moves. Then examine from the attackers point of view. Last, take into account of these moves from a outsiders point of view.

Try to view your thoughts and actions from a detached, third person point of view. What would your estimation of someone exhibiting your behaviour be if you observed them in action?

Keep what's useful, shitcan the rest.

OMGOMGITSHUGE;431384 said:

I used this to get over a couple of other anxieties. One was before fighting, the other before public speaking.

To take my mind out of the equation, I practiced when there wasn't a lot at stake. I used to practice in the shower by trying to take an entire shower without thinking. I would try to focus completely on the sound of the water falling, the sensation of it hitting my skin, and the smells of the soap and shampoo. I would also practice eating a meal without thinking. I would just imagine my mind settling down and filling my tongue to take in the taste and smells of the food and not thinking about what I was doing in words (like "oh, this chicken is really good tonight. I wish it were a little more cooked though. And it could use some salt...etc). Your mind will do that forever if you let it.

I never got to the point where I could go an extended period of time without having any thoughts, but I realized I don't need to. So when I would be about to fight, my mind would start to race with all these thoughts (holy shit that dude is jacked! How is he even in my weight class? I'm going to get my ass kicked!), and I would remember that I didn't need to have those thoughts, they didn't lead anywhere good, and I would just focus on my breathing. And when my mind would start up again, I learned not to scold myself for thinking or try to force my mind to go blank, but instead just gently directed my attention to something other than self-talk. It feels really good, and it has helped me a lot.

One more thing: You're strong enough to over come this, and I predict that you're going to do it really soon. Hang in there, brother.

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Most useful thing ever said to me about this. Thanks a lot! I'm going to practice this stuff. Thanks man!