I had the same problem as you now have. What helped me was I went to the bathroom and said "I aint goin out till I RK" It took some time. When you kegel- you sense the muscle and you know where it is located. If your RK is successful you should feel tension in the same place/muscle. What I can tell you from my experience is that
1- I must have my bowl clean first.
2- I go to the toilet to pee. I stop my pee a few times and when there is 40 % urine left to push it as hard as possible. After your urine is over the muscle remains unflexed and you feel it- do not reduce the amount of tension after your urine is over. That is how I found mine.
3- What I found to be good for me is to stop my breath and push- I find it hard to breathe while doing RKs.
4- Find at what position it is most comfortable for you to do it- for me it is when I am straight upright with my back slightly arched back. Experiment. Bend your body forward, backward, squat( slowly so you find the perfect angle).
5- My abs are flexed- here even I cannot understand what is happening with me- sometimes I find it better to arch my belly forward and flex the lower abdomen and sometimes I find it easier to just flex the upper part of my abdominals. Try upper, lower and the whole ab parts. Everyone is different.
6- The tension you should feel is pressure. The harder you push the more the tension is going to be.
7- I went to the toilet with the mindset "This is MY body and I am in charge.. Penis EnlargementRIOD. I AM THE BOSS. I SAY WHAT HAPPenis EnlargementNS- IF I NEED TO DO RK, I WILL DO A RK".
8- What is really strange to me is that there are days when I just go and do Reverse kegels and there are some days that I find myself unable to do this. This is the strangest part rofl
If you have any further questions I would gladly help you. Ask me anything, if I can, I'll do my best to answer you. If this is going to be of help, what I did was to go to the "Advanced Search" button, select the all types button- write in "reverse kegels" or "kegels" in the keyword field and select titles only. Hope that helps you. Please share if it worked for you and what you feel. I'll have my eye on the thread.