My girl wants to have a threesome with another girl!!!

[jakb]

When she first told me I was happily shocked. She brought this up about a month and a half ago.

As a guy, now you would think, well shit yeah Im having a threesome tomorrow. My girl wants to do it, I definitely want to do it, should be easy.

Well to my surprise it is not as easy as it would seem. We both dont know how to go about finding the third party. We would like her to not be professional, but are considering it.

We tried adultfriendfinder, but so far nothing. Either we dont want them or on a rare occasion we find a girl that might work it just doesnt. Neither of us want to just bring it up to a girl that we know, fearing that it would be a very negative situation if she said no. We dont frequent clubs and arent excited about the thought of it.

Both of us are very attractive and fit so again it would seem easy but...

Im hoping that somebody here will have some good advice.

I feel like a horse chasing that damn carrot in front of me right now. lol

 

[TimBo755]

sweeeet

 

[MCTFB]

I would never engage in a threesome for a variety of reasons, one of them being that sex is merely a natural drug and all pleasure drugs follow the law of diminishing returns (i.e. the higher the high, the higher the bencHydromaxark for pleasure the next time around), and well having a threesome would be like going from caffeine to crack cocaine as far as stimulants go. My libido has already been jaded by a lifetime of adult entertainment which I hope to eliminate from my life someday (probably right after I get done with Penis Enlargement), but if you are really that curious try:

http://www.stepbystepthreesome.com

Pure hedonism in life is a short track to intellectual and spiritual emptiness as decadence really has no limits in life, so if that is what you want with your gal then more power to yah.

Nevertheless, since your girl brought it up, if you don't go through with it, she will go through with it behind your back or just dump you and find another guy who can make it happen, so I guess you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

 

[Stuff_]

Nice post MCTFB. Also having a threesome is cheating, it's just that both people in the relationship are willingly cheating on each other out in the open.

 

[9cyclops9]

Fantastic post. I tried to add to your rep but it said:

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to MCTFB again.

So I guess that means you've been the man in my book lately.

 

[Texan]

Most of what I've heard is that the act is never as good as the fantasy... personally, I say try it if you are absolutely sure she can deal (your girl).

 

[sikdogg]

Don't fool yourselves... 3-somes are awesome. But swinging, group sex, the lifestyle, or what ever you want to call it isn't for everyone. You have to make sure that your relationship with your spouse or significant other is solid and that neither of you have any jealosy issues before seriously considering it or it will hurt your relationship. You also need to be able to separate love from sex/lust as they are not the same. You must keep in mind that neither of you are looking to replace your partner but to simply enjoy the pleasures of sex (nothing more, nothing less). We view sex with other people as just another extension of our sexplay similar to using dildos for added pleasure (a man is just another dildo for her and a woman is a [words=http://fleshlight.sjv.io/c/348327/302851/4702]FleshLight[/words] for me). My wife and i discussed it for a year before actually jumping into it and we've never been happier.

I would never engage in a threesome for a variety of reasons, one of them being that sex is merely a natural drug and all pleasure drugs follow the law of diminishing returns (i.e. the higher the high, the higher the bencHydromaxark for pleasure the next time around), and well having a threesome would be like going from caffeine to crack cocaine as far as stimulants go.

That may be true for some but for most people in the lifestyle, it just isn't true. The couples that you meet in the lifestyle are next door types and just good all around people. I'm sure that there are poeple that are in it for the "high" as you put it but we've yet to meet one.

Pure hedonism in life is a short track to intellectual and spiritual emptiness as decadence really has no limits in life, so if that is what you want with your gal then more power to yah.

You're completely missing the point... maybe you should just enjoy sex for the simple pleasure that it is and quit intellectualizing it... you'll prolly enjoy it more.

Nevertheless, since your girl brought it up, if you don't go through with it, she will go through with it behind your back or just dump you and find another guy who can make it happen, so I guess you are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Again, i disagree... his girl brought it up cuz she feel that she can openly talk to him about her fantasies without being afraid of him getting jealous or freaking out. That is a good start. Couples should endeavor to encourage open discussion about their likes, dislikes, and fantasies without fear of resentment. She has made a good first step and whether they ever decide to go thru with a 3-some or not, it doesn't matter because if nothing else, they're learning that they can openly talk about a touchy subject matter without worry or remorse of how the other will react. That is the beginning of a healthy relationship.

Nice post MCTFB. Also having a threesome is cheating, it's just that both people in the relationship are willingly cheating on each other out in the open.

By definition, cheating means to get something by dishonesty. If both are willing participants how are they cheating??

Most of what I've heard is that the act is never as good as the fantasy... personally, I say try it if you are absolutely sure she can deal (your girl).

Nothing is ever as good as the fantasy, but that's not to say it's not good. What it is is different and variety is the spice of life... You are definitely right about being absolutely sure on whether you can deal with it or not before jumping in. You have to be able to get past any insecurities you may have... this is especially true if you plan on swapping with another couple or doing a 3-some with another guy. But since they are only considering a girl, most of the insecurities falls on his girl and if she's cool with it why shouldn't he be.

 

[Zurik]

Hey man, the worst case scenario is that even if the threesome sucks, you can still brag to your buds that you acctually had sex with two girls at the same time.

 

[GhosT_DoGG]

Why not you and 10 other girls. A tough job, but somebody gotta do the dirtywork

 

[sikdogg]

...Well to my surprise it is not as easy as it would seem. We both dont know how to go about finding the third party...

Have you asked your girl if she had anyone in particular in mind (she may have a friend in mind)?? You can also try going to any number of swinger sites... there are usually alot of single females that create profiles there.

 

[MCTFB]

Don't fool yourselves... 3-somes are awesome. But swinging, group sex, the lifestyle, or what ever you want to call it isn't for everyone. You have to make sure that your relationship with your spouse or significant other is solid and that neither of you have any jealosy issues before seriously considering it or it will hurt your relationship.

Yah sure maybe they are awesome for some people, but for those who find it awesome perhaps they have no qualms about using other people for their own hedonistic desires? Hey, I don't USE people in business, relationships, and other areas of life if I can help it and when I run across these kinds of people in real life, I choose not to associate with them. If they try to use me or my friends, well in the past they have found out the hard way that they had it coming. Some people use people for money, some people use people for sex, some people use people for war, but no matter how you use people to achieve your own selfish agenda it is always wrong in my book. Maybe I am a bit altruistic in my thinking, but I think when it comes to threesomes you are thinking "WELL THREESOMES ARE AWESOME FOR ME" but how do you speak for everyone else? Of course, birds of a feather flock together so maybe you have a point here.

You also need to be able to separate love from sex/lust as they are not the same. You must keep in mind that neither of you are looking to replace your partner but to simply enjoy the pleasures of sex (nothing more, nothing less). We view sex with other people as just another extension of our sexplay similar to using dildos for added pleasure (a man is just another dildo for her and a woman is a [words=http://fleshlight.sjv.io/c/348327/302851/4702]FleshLight[/words] for me). My wife and i discussed it for a year before actually jumping into it and we've never been happier.

The difference between a dildo, [words=http://fleshlight.sjv.io/c/348327/302851/4702]FleshLight[/words], or other sex toy and another human being is that the human being is someone worthy of respect (well certainly not all humans but in general most people deserve respect) and to think of using them like they are some tool is dehumanizing. Using other people as if they are little pets you play with is not too dissimiliar to how house slaves were treated in the south as the white male masters felt they could do what they wanted with the black women because they were more or less pets to them that they could use as they wish. Just because a bunch of consenting adults mutually agree to use each other for purely sexual purposes doesn't make it any different. You are still treating another human being like a pet even if they willingly consent to lowering themselves to that of a common animal.

That may be true for some but for most people in the lifestyle, it just isn't true. The couples that you meet in the lifestyle are next door types and just good all around people. I'm sure that there are poeple that are in it for the "high" as you put it but we've yet to meet one.

Next door types? You mean suburban soccer moms bored out of their minds because they have nothing else going for them that can fulfill their excitement junkie status they earned back in the day when the fucked anything that moved? And what are all around good people really? Yah, maybe the couple you swing with seem like "all around good people" because it is human nature to be biased towards people you are screwing. I mean, would you willingly admit to proudly screw "bad people"? Hey, people who have no respect for their marriage cannot be trusted by me when it comes to non-opportunistic matters where people can only trusted so long as the situation is convenient to them. Whether you want to argue if people are good or not by that description is your own prerogative.

You're completely missing the point... maybe you should just enjoy sex for the simple pleasure that it is and quit intellectualizing it... you'll prolly enjoy it more.

Unlike some of the other simple pleasures in life, sex often involves the feelings of other people and the creation of human life even if it is unintended. Not going to get into a debate about that, but to view sex as just another drug (even though it literally is), might as well reduce human beings to just being machines interacting with each other in some pre-programmed way. I think taking sex too seriously makes it into more than it really is, but by the same token to just treat it like some figment of the imagination of some stoned out hippie philosopher of the 60's where everything including sex is "just an experience" is kind of a naive way of looking at life if you ask me.

Again, i disagree... his girl brought it up cuz she feel that she can openly talk to him about her fantasies without being afraid of him getting jealous or freaking out. That is a good start. Couples should endeavor to encourage open discussion about their likes, dislikes, and fantasies without fear of resentment. She has made a good first step and whether they ever decide to go thru with a 3-some or not, it doesn't matter because if nothing else, they're learning that they can openly talk about a touchy subject matter without worry or remorse of how the other will react. That is the beginning of a healthy relationship.

I agree with this because talking these things out will let him know where she is coming from. Unfortunately, for most women if you are not the man who can help them live out their fantasies sexual or otherwise, they will try and find a better man who will if their confidence is high enough to do that. Yah certainly not all gals think this way (some actually have their head on straight), but women test guys all the time to see if they:

(1) Can Be Manipulated
(2) Are Afraid Of Their Own Shadow
(3) Will Take Control In A Relationship

Yah 1 and 3 kind of conflict with each other, but then again that is the conundrum that is women.

By definition, cheating means to get something by dishonesty. If both are willing participants how are they cheating??

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=cheating

Cheating to me is going around the conventional rules for selfish purposes. There are good common sense reasons why polygamy is illegal in just about every western country and why it is still practiced in the backwater cultures of the world. I don't want to drag this discussion into moral relativism where anything goes, but you don't have to deceive someone in a dishonest way to cheat them. Do you think O.J. Simpson cheated the justice system even though he and Johnnie Cochran did everything by the book?

Nothing is ever as good as the fantasy, but that's not to say it's not good. What it is is different and variety is the spice of life... You are definitely right about being absolutely sure on whether you can deal with it or not before jumping in. You have to be able to get past any insecurities you may have... this is especially true if you plan on swapping with another couple or doing a 3-some with another guy. But since they are only considering a girl, most of the insecurities falls on his girl and if she's cool with it why shouldn't he be.

Haha, the first time I came from a blow job things were way better than I could ever imagine. I thought my head and limbs were going to shoot off of my body from all the released pressure so it all boils down to expectations in matters of fantasy.

Also, murdering people gives a lot of people a huge high once you get past the visceral reactions of seeing blood and guts and well I guess you could argue that adds some variety to life so it is OK to be pursued. I mean, those poor people were gonna die some day anyways, so why not use them for your own selfish and sick high of a power trip from taking another person's life? I mean, where do you draw the line intellectually on this slippery slope?

Hedonism is hedonism and decadence is decadence. Everyone is guilty of it in some form or another, but just like murdering people for sport, a threesome is one of the extremes of hedonism I think most sane human beings should avoid. Just my two cents.

 

[ctmwm]

Jak I feel so bad for you! Such a problem. You DOG!!!!

 

[jakb]

Sikdogg,
You rule man. My girl does trust me fully and we both feel VERY safe discussing anything without judgement. It would be a much better world if everyone could live without judging. I think there would be ALOT less unhappily divorced people if couples felt they could trust and discuss everything with their significant other. But unfortunately judgement/righteousness is the death of many relationships that could have been happy with a little more understanding and acceptance.

She doesnt have a friend that she has in mind and we are trying to keep this aspect of our sex life out of our social circle.

What swinger sites do you have in mind? I have tried adultfriendfinder but it hasnt happened there.

Ctmwm,
Laughed my ass off. IF it happens then I will definitely let you know.

Mctfb,
I disagree with your points, but then again differences is what makes life worth living. Not everybody has the same point of view and life would be boring if everyone did. But thank you for your concern.

 

[sikdogg]

Yah sure maybe they are awesome for some people, but for those who find it awesome perhaps they have no qualms about using other people for their own hedonistic desires? Hey, I don't USE people in business, relationships, and other areas of life if I can help it and when I run across these kinds of people in real life, I choose not to associate with them. If they try to use me or my friends, well in the past they have found out the hard way that they had it coming. Some people use people for money, some people use people for sex, some people use people for war, but no matter how you use people to achieve your own selfish agenda it is always wrong in my book. Maybe I am a bit altruistic in my thinking, but I think when it comes to threesomes you are thinking "WELL THREESOMES ARE AWESOME FOR ME" but how do you speak for everyone else? Of course, birds of a feather flock together so maybe you have a point here.

Bro i'm sory to say that everyone uses everyone, that's just the way society works. Sometime you ask for favors and other time you give it. As long as no one feels slighted or cheated, what's the problem. I'm not speaking for anyone else, just my self and anyone interested in exploring the subject.

The difference between a dildo, [words=http://fleshlight.sjv.io/c/348327/302851/4702]FleshLight[/words], or other sex toy and another human being is that the human being is someone worthy of respect (well certainly not all humans but in general most people deserve respect) and to think of using them like they are some tool is dehumanizing. Using other people as if they are little pets you play with is not too dissimiliar to how house slaves were treated in the south as the white male masters felt they could do what they wanted with the black women because they were more or less pets to them that they could use as they wish. Just because a bunch of consenting adults mutually agree to use each other for purely sexual purposes doesn't make it any different. You are still treating another human being like a pet even if they willingly consent to lowering themselves to that of a common animal.

what are you talking about slaves... if a person or couple chooses to be used for sexual purposes, why do you even care... no one is asking you to do it. Why are you so fixed on putting labels on everything, why not just let each person live as they choose??

Next door types? You mean suburban soccer moms bored out of their minds because they have nothing else going for them that can fulfill their excitement junkie status they earned back in the day when the fucked anything that moved? And what are all around good people really? Yah, maybe the couple you swing with seem like "all around good people" because it is human nature to be biased towards people you are screwing. I mean, would you willingly admit to proudly screw "bad people"? Hey, people who have no respect for their marriage cannot be trusted by me when it comes to non-opportunistic matters where people can only trusted so long as the situation is convenient to them. Whether you want to argue if people are good or not by that description is your own prerogative.

Bro we meet all sorts of different couples and they are all open minded and don't judge people for what they do. You'd be surprised to know that most couples that we meet and play with are very educated working professionals (I myself have a master's degree in Business from a large school). I don't think that we've ever met the "lonely bored soccer mom" that you alluded to. Marriage is an agreement to live and stand by each other in good or bad times, how can two married people that both agree and consent to having sex with other people disrespecting marriage?

Unlike some of the other simple pleasures in life, sex often involves the feelings of other people and the creation of human life even if it is unintended. Not going to get into a debate about that, but to view sex as just another drug (even though it literally is), might as well reduce human beings to just being machines interacting with each other in some pre-programmed way. I think taking sex too seriously makes it into more than it really is, but by the same token to just treat it like some figment of the imagination of some stoned out hippie philosopher of the 60's where everything including sex is "just an experience" is kind of a naive way of looking at life if you ask me.

Humans do in fact interact in preprogrammed ways thru pheromones and other hormones that the body produces. You sound so bitter with regards to sex and i just don't understand why. Bro lighten up... no one is asking YOU to be a swinger as it is a personal choice. Do you also bash homosexuals and trans sexuals for not fitting in the world as you think it should be lived??

I agree with this because talking these things out will let him know where she is coming from. Unfortunately, for most women if you are not the man who can help them live out their fantasies sexual or otherwise, they will try and find a better man who will if their confidence is high enough to do that. Yah certainly not all gals think this way (some actually have their head on straight), but women test guys all the time to see if they:

(1) Can Be Manipulated
(2) Are Afraid Of Their Own Shadow
(3) Will Take Control In A Relationship

Yah 1 and 3 kind of conflict with each other, but then again that is the conundrum that is women.

Bro, a dating relationship is about finding a compatible partner for the purposes of a long tern commitment (marriage). If one finds that their current partner's like and dislikes differ too much from their own, it is their responsibility to find one that is a better match for them. Yes i agree that both men and women test each other, but why not. Until they've decided to make a long term commitment to each other they owe it to themselves to find the best person for them.

Also, murdering people gives a lot of people a huge high once you get past the visceral reactions of seeing blood and guts and well I guess you could argue that adds some variety to life so it is OK to be pursued. I mean, those poor people were gonna die some day anyways, so why not use them for your own selfish and sick high of a power trip from taking another person's life? I mean, where do you draw the line intellectually on this slippery slope?

Hedonism is hedonism and decadence is decadence. Everyone is guilty of it in some form or another, but just like murdering people for sport, a threesome is one of the extremes of hedonism I think most sane human beings should avoid. Just my two cents.

So you're equating murder with doing a 3-some?? You just don't understand what the lifestyle is about and i'm not inclined to explain it to you further... it's not about any power trips or taking advantage of anyone. People are free to do as much or as little as they please without judgements or labels. There are rules and protocols that one must follow, it's not a free for all where you fuck anyone if you want to and use them as you please... everything is not black and white and fits neatly in your world. There are grey areas that some people are comfortable living in that most aren't. And what's wrong with hedonism?? I guess i must be insane cuz i choose not to avoid it. Thanks for your two cents... you're welcome to your opinions and (although i think you're a little uptight in some of your beliefs) you're free to live your life as you choose, free from labels and judgements.

Damn, that was long i thought it would never end...

 

[sikdogg]

Sikdogg,
...My girl does trust me fully and we both feel VERY safe discussing anything without judgement. It would be a much better world if everyone could live without judging. I think there would be ALOT less unhappily divorced people if couples felt they could trust and discuss everything with their significant other. But unfortunately judgement/righteousness is the death of many relationships that could have been happy with a little more understanding and acceptance.

Couldn't have said it better myself...

She doesnt have a friend that she has in mind and we are trying to keep this aspect of our sex life out of our social circle.

We also try to keep our swing lifestyle (horizontal friends) separate from our family and friends (vertical friends), but it's interesting that as my wife discusses the lifestyle with some of her very very close friends they are actually very interested in the subject and several have expressed a very strong interest in possibly joining us in a 3-some or 4-some (with their partner). We haven't decide on whether we want to go this route or not. It's really up to the wife at this point. We have a simple rule regarding our lifestyle in that she has the last/final decision on which girl we invite to join us, like wise, i have the same authority regarding guys that we invite. Each person's decision is final and cannot be disputed. We've found that this has allowed us to be more comfortable with the people that we play with and has eliminated any/all jealosy issues.

What swinger sites do you have in mind? I have tried adultfriendfinder but it hasnt happened there...

Bro PM me and i'll be happy to talk about different sites offline. We didn't liked AFF either.

 

[MCTFB]

Hey Sikdogg, not trying to turn this into a flame war or change your views behind my computer monitor, just putting some intellectual discussion out here. And I am not judging you so lopping in homosexuals and transsexuals into the discussion is irrelevant.

My point is not about judging people but by advocating that there are indeed major risks for going to extremes and when it comes to sex the risk is you develop a fetish which makes simple lovemaking pointless.

I mean, think about it this way. If you need some really special fetish to "get you off" then you are not very efficient sexually as you need more than someone not desensitized by adult entertainment, extreme sex, bizarre fetishes etc. That is why people who brag about being "more extreme" than the next guy are pretty silly if the next guy can be just as happy with less. The person who is more "extreme" and lives a lifestyle of being extreme is just less efficient at getting his jollies to keep those hormones in your brain telling you that you are happy.

This is why wise men since the advent of civilization in just about every culture have advocated moderation and sorry bro, but threesomes and orgies are not what is generally considered a moderate sexual lifestyle. Hey, if I could take back some things in my life which have desensitized me to various aspects of life such as sex, violence, stress then I probably would because the long term consequences make me less efficient at being happy than someone who leads a more humble lifestyle.

Nobody is trying to judge anyone here, but if you cannot see the stupidity in allowing yourself to be programmed to only be receptive to more and more extreme content in your life, then I guess you are blind to the science behind how the human mind adapts to life experiences good or bad.

 

[sikdogg]

You say that you're not judging but that's exactly what you've been doing since your first post. Jakb never asked for opinions on whether he should get involved with 3-some or not, but simply how should he go about finding a third partner. He had already made up his mind to do it. It was your first post that triggered your holier-than-thou attitude. I just simply responded with my thoughts and experience on the subject, which i have alot of and you have none of.

You talk about matters that you simply have no idea about. Getting involved in a 3-some is not fetish nor is it extreme. In fact it's alot more commonplace than you would think (have you seriously talked to a typical highschool/college kid lately). You passed judgement that because i practice and need extreme sex, that i'm somehow depraved or unable to enjoy one-on-one sex without knowing anything more than the fact that my wife and i enjoy sex with other people and/or group sex. The fact is that we do this only several time a month and the rest of the time we enjoy our time together. We are very close and talk about everything. We prolly have sex 5-6 times a week BY OUR SELVES and it is very satisfying. We don't have a need to have sex with other people, we choose to for the pure pleasure of it and when the time comes that one or both of us no longer wants to do it, we will stop no questions asked. That is our agreement to one another. We are closer and prolly have a better relationship than you could ever experience because we simply hear each other and refuse to judge each other's decision and/or action. This is what allows us to participate in what you call extreme sex and still come out the best of lovers and friends.

Bottom line is that you claim that you're not passing judgement but that's exactly what you've done since your first post... and yes i must be stupid because i'm allowing myself to be programmed to only be receptive to more and more extreme content in my life and that i'm also blind to the science behind how the human mind adapts to life experiences good or bad. Thank you o holier-than-thou for opening my eyes to my misguided ways, may i burn in eternal fire for not agreeing with you.

 

[MCTFB]

You say that you're not judging but that's exactly what you've been doing since your first post. Jakb never asked for opinions on whether he should get involved with 3-some or not, but simply how should he go about finding a third partner. He had already made up his mind to do it. It was your first post that triggered your holier-than-thou attitude. I just simply responded with my thoughts and experience on the subject, which i have alot of and you have none of.

Already made up his mind to do it? Maybe maybe not. If he made up his mind, why would he seek advice? Often when you seek advice and know all the facts you can change your mind. And please don't give me some Jerry Springer audience member psychobabble about I have a "holier-than-thou" attitude and "you have no right to judge me". Guess what dude, I am not judging you, but you assume anyone who tries to argue the costs and benefits of engaging in extreme sex as if there are actual psychological negatives is "judging you". Seriously, I have no idea who you are nor do I really care. Swingers are a dime a dozen as are people who will fuck anything that moves, so your "experience on the subject" is irrelevant considering I could go walk down the street to the titty bar and ask some lonely patrons and/or strippers if threesomes are a good thing or not. I find it a bit hypocritical that you would call me "holier-than-thou" yet at the same time pretend you are in some elite group of super swingers out there whose libido is unmatched by those idiots who choose to live in monogamous relationships. Who is judging who now?

You talk about matters that you simply have no idea about.

Last time I checked it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that men are highly aroused by the sight of multiples of naked and horny women. Wow ingenious!

Getting involved in a 3-some is not fetish nor is it extreme.

I never said a threesome was a fetish, but I did suggest threesomes are in the league of extreme sex. If you think Bukkake adult entertainment is the threshhold for what constitutes extreme sex, well then your mind is already warped so far beyond normal reality from adult entertainment and orgies that I just don't see us finding common ground. And just because I said threesomes are a form of extreme sex, did not mean I said they were good or bad, rather I was suggesting originally that extreme sex such as threesomes has consequences very few people really consider.

In fact it's alot more commonplace than you would think (have you seriously talked to a typical highschool/college kid lately).

No shit sherlock. Of course, our country is becoming more and more illiterate and the effects of widespread adult entertainment on our society have only recently taken hold. Whether you want to argue that as being a good thing or a bad thing is another debate, but threesomes and other forms of extreme sex is undoubtedly the result of programming via pornography. An ex-girlfriend of mine used to have a boyfriend who had a pissing fetish. Why did he? Well the first time he came the gal he was with pissed on him. The fact that his first sexually pleasurable experience occurred while getting pissed on associated pissing with sexual pleasure deep within his brain. adult entertainment does the same thing when you masturbate to it and since I don't want to get into a lengthy explanation of how human intelligence associates experiences and learning, lets just say you can pretty much socially program someone with a predisposition to be homosexual to be straight and someone who has a predisposition to be heterosexual to be homosexual, just as you can spread mass propaganda to control a country politically. Human beings are open to suggestion so just because there is a multibillion dollar industry which actively tries to program its customers to keep buying more and more of their product just as Coca-Cola tries to do the same with advertisements associating its product with "good feelings", means zilcho with the bi-with-boyfriend trend in world popular culture.

You passed judgement that because i practice and need extreme sex, that i'm somehow depraved or unable to enjoy one-on-one sex without knowing anything more than the fact that my wife and i enjoy sex with other people and/or group sex.

Where did I say you were depraved? For crying out loud, the fact you are getting all sensitive about this makes me think I am mistakenly talking to a lesbian giving advice on how to pick up single guys for a threesome. Seriously, I don't care who you and your wife choose to screw or what the nature of your relationship is whether you cheat on each other right in plain view, or you do it behind each other's back. You share your wife with other people and to me that is just fucked up and most mainstream cultures around the world would tend to agree with that position. Nevertheless, that is not the point. The point is that if you engage in heighened sexual acts where something extra is associated with the pleasurable experience for too long, your brain will become hardwired to only be receptive to that little extra you added into your sexual practices. That "little extra" is a fetish. Can you stop swinging and go back to one one one sex and be happy or will you always constantly crave the taste and touch of the flesh of other people? Could you ever quit swinging cold turkey and go back to things the way they used to be? If not, well then it shows you need more for less when it comes to sexual gratification.

[/QUOTE]The fact is that we do this only several time a month and the rest of the time we enjoy our time together.[/QUOTE]

Only several times a month? Seems like a pretty regular part of your "lifestyle" now. I mean, could you go back to not swinging and still enjoy each other just as much? You see my point? If you were happy with just your wife and she was just happy with you, you would not feel the need to get fulfillment from other people sexually?

We are very close and talk about everything. We prolly have sex 5-6 times a week BY OUR SELVES and it is very satisfying. We don't have a need to have sex with other people, we choose to for the pure pleasure of it and when the time comes that one or both of us no longer wants to do it, we will stop no questions asked.

Well good for you and your wife being close, but an ex-GF of mine who was previously married used to swing with her ex-husband. Anyways, I should of ran from her immediately because lets just say she had some serious issues, but he gave the same line and well lets just say human beings have their own brains so speaking for someone else as a couple is pretty naive if you ask me. Plus, the way sex lights up the dopamine receptors in your brain could be argued to be one of the most addictive drugs on the planet (hey before the age of birth control it kept the species going), so you saying "oh well we will just quit fucking other people when the time comes" is easy to say but every couple I have known who got involved in swinging is 10 years down the road either separated or else living together as basically roommates for "the sake of the kids". Please and while I am at it, I will stop masturbating to adult entertainment because it offends Jesus. Hahahaha!

That is our agreement to one another. We are closer and prolly have a better relationship than you could ever experience because we simply hear each other and refuse to judge each other's decision and/or action. This is what allows us to participate in what you call extreme sex and still come out the best of lovers and friends.

And again you say I am "holier-than-thou"? Plllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeassssssse. MY RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN YOURS is sooooooooo high school. No idea what your age is but I would imagine you are older than me which makes these words kind of funny coming from what I would assume is a 30 year old plus man. Yah, my relationship is great with my straight girlfriend right now, and no we don't go to swinger parties or shove weird objects up each others asses, but we have a lot of fun doing other things besides sex, though last night after about an hour and a half of me pumping her, she got on top and sprayed the walls with a massive orgasm that would likely make you jealous. But then again she is with me, MCTFB.

Bottom line is that you claim that you're not passing judgement but that's exactly what you've done since your first post... and yes i must be stupid because i'm allowing myself to be programmed to only be receptive to more and more extreme content in my life and that i'm also blind to the science behind how the human mind adapts to life experiences good or bad. Thank you o holier-than-thou for opening my eyes to my misguided ways, may i burn in eternal fire for not agreeing with you.

I think it is clear you have the holier-than-thou attitude. Though if you are going to use the holier-than-thou argument on someone it might help if you had a leg or two to stand on. I will take a wild guess that you don't practice any particular faith, so criticizing other people for being "holier-than-thou" as a jab to them believing in god (as if that is a bad thing) is about the biggest form of hypocrisy you can find these days among moral relativists who are too chicken to make decisions on right and wrong because it might involve having to look in the mirror someday and not liking what they see.

And the funniest thing is that even though I am not passing judgement on you (I only do that with people I care about in life or who I am directly involved with personally) I can pass judgement on you and there is not a damned thing you can do about it, except either choose to ignore it or childishly allow the unfavorable opinion someone has on you or your lifestyle mess with your head. If you are so proud of your lifestyle, why do you act so insecure when one person "gasp" actually suggests that maybe sharing your woman with another person, man or woman is not all it is cracked up to be and that on any discussion forum someone coming up with a devil's advocate position is actually a good thing?

Or is it just that anyone who thinks swinging and threesomes is not a good thing is closed-minded even though they have turned down numerous opportunities themselves (not including just calling up some escorts or going to a brothel which any scHydromaxuck can do if you have the money) for FFM threesomes because they maybe take some care as to what kind of experiences get dumped into their cranial region because extreme experiences can permanently alter your brain chemistry in a negative way?

 

[sikdogg]

MCTFB, bro whatever... i was gonna reply to your post but it's just to tedious and i just don't have the energy today. I think we've highjacked this thread long enough. Why don't you re-read Jakb's first and second post again, he clearly was not asking for advice on whether to do a 3-some or not but HOW to find a girl to join him and his GF. Bro, life is all about experiences and you only get to live it once, don't be so afraid of the unkown or of falling down and scraping knee. It happens and you grow from it, this is what it means to live. You sound like a smart guy, but i think you over analyze things and i definitely think you need to get off your soapbox. Do what's good for you and i'll do the same... 'nuff said.

See ya around the board... and no hard feelings.

 

[jakb]

Sikdogg,

Thank you. Now back to the business at hand. Finding me a girl for a threesome. Sikdogg has given me some great links and advice for me. If anybody else has some constructive input on how to help me fulfill this endeavor it would be appreciated.

 

[JJcali]

What the fuck- silence of the lambs shit up in here??? ha i didn't read through everything but yeah the part about compairing the high of a threesome to murdering people for sport? MTCFB, i'm not trying to get personal and you don't have to answer anything but did something happen that made you want to get a bigger dick, this is a forum for that. when you say,
"I mean, think about it this way. If you need some really special fetish to "get you off" then you are not very efficient sexually as you need more than someone not desensitized by adult entertainment, extreme sex, bizarre fetishes etc. That is why people who brag about being "more extreme" than the next guy are pretty silly if the next guy can be just as happy with less. The person who is more "extreme" and lives a lifestyle of being extreme is just less efficient at getting his jollies to keep those hormones in your brain telling you that you are happy."

You can change the "more extreme" part to "bigger dick" and i think thats why a lot of people are here. It just seems liek your saying be happy with the life you have-yet everyone here is trying to change one of the most important aspects of his life. In a very simplistic overview, i think three somes are for some people and not for others. It's like some people are gay and others are not. I'm straight and would never think of being with a guy-it's jsut not for me. But if anyone is gay then good for that person i hope he's happy and its his descision.

Jakb... i say go for it and have fun with it if you want, threesomes can disrupt a relationship but anything can- and if you don't take the chance now you could regret it totally your descision.

 

[hopful]

I must absolutly stand with that what mick said.

Jakb, the most important thing in life is that you are happy. I mean you can always see things the good and bad way but in the end it doesn't realy matter. Everybody has got to find out what they want and need to be happy and should do the best to accomplish that. You can be the best person in the world but it still won't make you happy if it isn't that what you realy want.

Jakb that said i hope you find that what you want and i hope you and you're wife will have a lot of fun with you're shared desire. And if that makes you two more happy with you're both lives then there is nothing else you should do.

 

[MCTFB]

MCTFB, bro whatever... i was gonna reply to your post but it's just to tedious and i just don't have the energy today. I think we've highjacked this thread long enough. Why don't you re-read Jakb's first and second post again, he clearly was not asking for advice on whether to do a 3-some or not but HOW to find a girl to join him and his GF.

If you read my first post, I mentioned a site which talks about how to make it happen and I was not passing judgement on him, just saying he might want to think twice about it. I mean, if you think with your dick 24x7 you get dumbasses like Bill Clinton getting head in the Oval Office or else other people high up in the government giving away state secrets because some whore was paid to get him into a compromising and scandalous position where he is in the position of being blackmailed.

Bro, life is all about experiences and you only get to live it once, don't be so afraid of the unkown or of falling down and scraping knee.

That is your perception of what life is all about and frankly my perception of what life is all about is radically different than life being all about "experiences". To me life is about accomplishment and leaving future generations with a better world than your own generation. Maybe, America would not be so fucked up as it is today if there were less lazy and decadent people gambling with their marriages, families, kids, and other areas of their life just to get their nut off. Do you have children? I mean, if threesomes were such a great thing why not tell your children openly that a couple times a month mommy and daddy get naked with other people and share various bodily fluids in an exciting way?

It happens and you grow from it, this is what it means to live. You sound like a smart guy, but i think you over analyze things and i definitely think you need to get off your soapbox. Do what's good for you and i'll do the same... 'nuff said.

Again, don't confuse your reasons for living with my reasons for living or those of anyone else. Also, giving only one side of the argument when someone is going to possibly engage in something which they may regret later on down the road (for example, when I found out my ex-GF willingly had group sex with other people it bothered me a lot even though I tried to get over it because I loved her). To say "well you are just not mature enough to handle it" is like saying to some kid who watched their parents get murdered in another country that they "just are not mature enough to handle it". In many cultures, sex outside of marriage is very taboo while stoning women for adultery is not. You can argue which culture is superior all you want, but the people in that culture would say you are decadent and evil while you say they are backwards and cruel.

In most moderated cultures there is a lot of emotional emphasis placed on life, death, and the creation of life (sex), and the creation of death (murder). Some emphasize life or death in different amounts and in different ways such as in the United States and the west where the creation of life is not treated with a lot of respect, but the prevention of death is given a lot of attention.

See ya around the board... and no hard feelings.

Same.

 

[jakb]

Stop the madness!!!

 

[MCTFB]

What the fuck- silence of the lambs shit up in here??? ha i didn't read through everything but yeah the part about compairing the high of a threesome to murdering people for sport? MTCFB, i'm not trying to get personal and you don't have to answer anything but did something happen that made you want to get a bigger dick, this is a forum for that. when you say,
"I mean, think about it this way. If you need some really special fetish to "get you off" then you are not very efficient sexually as you need more than someone not desensitized by adult entertainment, extreme sex, bizarre fetishes etc. That is why people who brag about being "more extreme" than the next guy are pretty silly if the next guy can be just as happy with less. The person who is more "extreme" and lives a lifestyle of being extreme is just less efficient at getting his jollies to keep those hormones in your brain telling you that you are happy."

You can change the "more extreme" part to "bigger dick" and i think thats why a lot of people are here. It just seems liek your saying be happy with the life you have-yet everyone here is trying to change one of the most important aspects of his life. In a very simplistic overview, i think three somes are for some people and not for others. It's like some people are gay and others are not. I'm straight and would never think of being with a guy-it's jsut not for me. But if anyone is gay then good for that person i hope he's happy and its his descision.

One could argue that, but people have a desire to get a bigger dick for a lot of different reasons. For me it is to remove an innate psychological weakness that lies deep in my subconscious that has caused me problems in the past in various aspects of life and well unless someone comes up with brain surgery to make men believe that size does not matter, I could either choose to live certain parts of my life in fear and insecurity or else I could do something about it.

For me, having a bigger dick is not about "being happier" but about removing a major weakness as a man so I can more readily concentrate on other areas of life. For other people, maybe earning more money would remove a weakness they have or for other people getting in good shape so you look like you are not the kind of guy who is easily bullied. Some people would call this self-improvement, but I would just say it is self-defense.

If you have no glaring weaknesses that can get in your head, then you always have the upper hand intellectually and emotionally when dealing with other people, sometimes people not very friendly to you. I guess that depends on whether you want to live a normal life, or else a life where having a psychological edge on other people is a necessity, but for me a normal and mediocre life is just not for me.

A life which is all about hedonism and happiness is a pretty empty life from my perspective. A life where of sacrifice for other people so that they can at least have a somewhat happy life I feel is more fulfilling than just selfishly always thinking about your own emotional needs.

Hedonists only care about what they are getting out of life and though they usually won't go out and do things which make them happy at the major expense of others, they are too busy pursuing a decadent lifestyle to even think more than a few moments about the people in the world who have nothing. And then when something bad happens to a hedonist they are the whiniest and bitchiest people on planet earth when they wonder why their government or someone else is not doing anything to get their lives back on track.

OK, maybe I am getting off on a tangent here, but I think it is wrong to assume everyone here is getting a bigger dick for the same reasons.

 

[jakb]

Im getting extremely tired of this! Ive sat back and tried to let this wash over but it seems that it wont.

I asked for help. The help I know some people here could give.

What I am getting from you right now is not what I asked for. So by doing something I have asked to stop, YOU ARE PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST. This contradicts your points. You are now on a self righteous, egotistical path trying desperately to prove yourself right. The ONLY people I know that have this deep need to insistently defend themselves do so because they truly dont know what their belief system is and are struggling to find it. They do this by trying to convince others that they are right. All for the simple fact that they are SELFISH. If you can convince another person that you are right then you can go on feeling slightly better and more secure because you "might" actually be on the correct path and belief system. This is selfish. It is an energy steal.

When you first replied to this email, you didnt look for what I was asking. You replied with your own agenda. This means you were trying to prove a point. You also stated that you didnt pass judgement on the act or "us" but you just dont realize that you did. The judgement you passed was that you were more intelligent. I surely wouldnt be thinking of doing this act if I possibly knew as much as you do. This is ego. You needed to point out the things that I couldnt possibly have thought of "because of my lesser intelligence" and you needed to step in to save me. You assume that I didnt weigh out the risks versus the benefits myself. I have thought of the positives and the negatives long before I posted this asking for help from my Penis Enlargement brothers.

Before you reply, which I know you will have to. I want you to seriously sit down and think open mindedly about what I wrote before you respond.

 

[JJcali]

Ha...this has been a very interesting reag though...Good luck with the 3 way jakb!

 

[Stuff_]

MCTFB, I don't know if I'm the only one, but I agree with everything you've said here in this thread 100%. Living simply to please the senses is to simply become servant of the senses. This is to be slave of the senses, and the senses are not a master that is known to be very mindful of their servant. It is said that hell is where all of your material desires are fulfilled; all hell would "break loose" so to speak if that were to happen. It may seem very pleasant, but actually, on a much deeper level, it is hurting you in the end, and MCTFB has explained that much at least on the psychological level.

"Open minded" does not mean to simply accept what other people say and half-heartedly think, "oh, that is okay, but this is how I want to live". Open minded means open to hear what is real and true... that which is beyond opinion. Of course people may try and say that to claim to know that which is beyond opinion is to think you are better than someone else, but this simply is not true, that is just an opinion. 1+1=2, it just does, there's no opinion involved. There are psychological levels involved here, and it has nothing to do with your opinion, or how you wish to enjoy, or even being "open minded" (though it does take that to try to understand it). There are just some things that are hard to give the tangible physical proof that most need to understand it, but at least the psychological evidence can be given. For example, the atheist is always asking for some lump of matter that can be tested in a lab in order to prove there is a God. This is not possible; some things just cannot be explained by matter and the senses alone.

There is nothing at all inherently "wrong" with having a threesome. There is also nothing inherently "wrong" with murdering. Technically the "wrongness" of such actions are due to the moral system that is specific to human beings, no other known species has such considerations.

I think it should be very obvious that neither MCTFB nor I are trying to be self-righteous, pompous, holier-than-thou, and whatnot. Simply trying to say that on a psychological level, there are deeper unseen effects. You can go do whatever you wish and that is perfectly fine, but isn't it nice to know the whole story? I know I'd feel gypped if I didn't know all sides of a situation, and think it is nice to go into a situation knowing for sure that it is what you want to do, all possible outcomes and consequences considered. Not to say that one or the other is better than the other, on a material level. It is quite possible that you’ve already thought through all these cause/effects and this is why you posted here, however MCTFB was not aware of this and wanted to be kind enough to help you see all sides, not to say that he was trying to tell you it was wrong or steer you away from it. Whatever happens is solely up to the individual. There may be consequences, but they might either not care, or want those consequences. It isn’t evil to try to let those consequences be known though, so why bash on him?

By the way, being egotistical has nothing to do with trying to provide all the different consequences or effects to a cause, or letting others know those. It should be obvious that MCTFB wasn't trying to force a belief on anyone, nor am I. The ego, however, does cause you to want to enjoy through the senses as much as one can. Heh, this seems like it should be in the deep thoughts section at this point, but then the original question of the post was answered with the link in MCTFB’s first post, as well as others’.

If you don't agree with anything I've said you have every right and freedom to ignore it. I certainly meant no harm nor to force any beliefs on others. Please feel free to think, do, and live as you please, for that is your choice and not mine.

 

[jakb]

Tired of this bullshit...

I asked for help finding a girl for a threesome, not for all sides of the story and ethical/moral issues associated with it. By trying to "HELP" me by deciding what you think is best for me is pointless to both of us.

So unless any further posts are helping me with WHAT IVE ASKED FOR HELP WITH, I am tired of wasting my energy on it.

 

[Stuff_]

No one tried to tell you what they think is best for you. I'd repost the link that MCTFB posted in his first post here to help you, but then that would be redundant. You could have ignored what I said.

 

[JJcali]

"There is nothing at all inherently "wrong" with having a threesome. There is also nothing inherently "wrong" with murdering. Technically the "wrongness" of such actions are due to the moral system that is specific to human beings, no other known species has such considerations."

So are you saying 3 somes are wrong?
There are so many things that are wrong if you follow any sets of beliefs. Stuff and MCTFB (who seem extremely similar), you guys seems to be using religious, cultural, and self respecting beliefs. In many religions its wrong to jerk off, yet almost every male does it. It's wrong to lie but who here has never told a lie. I could go on for hours of normal day things every person does that is considered "wrong". Yes, these things are easily avoidable and can be worked on...the only reason i m posting becuase i think its really fucked up to have a comparison of murder to a three way...virtually trivial next to murder ...

"To say "well you are just not mature enough to handle it" is like saying to some kid who watched their parents get murdered in another country that they "just are not mature enough to handle it"."
Sorry, my opinion, the comparison is completely bullshit. Sorry your girlfriend had a 3 way before you , i'm sure you have to struggle with it and its hard, but she will still be there in morning, the kids parents won't be. While you chose to be with your girlfriend and can choose to dump her and find a new one that kid never chose his parents and he cannot just choose new ones, its something much more haunting than picturing a significant other fucking 2 other people at once instead of one...

This is definatly turning into a deep thoughts post...Sorry jakb still with you on the 3 some!

 

[MCTFB]

Im getting extremely tired of this! Ive sat back and tried to let this wash over but it seems that it wont.

I asked for help. The help I know some people here could give.

Help or emotional support?

What I am getting from you right now is not what I asked for. So by doing something I have asked to stop, YOU ARE PUTTING YOURSELF FIRST. This contradicts your points. You are now on a self righteous, egotistical path trying desperately to prove yourself right.

Hey, we are not arguing right and wrong here. Just truth and consequences. And really I have nothing to prove here, but arguing sure can be fun so long as it does not get personal (but even then it can be fun just in a different way). I intended to make only one post in this thread, but my points were legitimately attacked by Sikdogg which is cool, but then he got upset when he felt I was "judging him and his lifestyle". Getting upset about what some random stranger thinks about you on the internet is pretty silly if you ask me, but hey some people are more sensitive than others I guess.

Also, sorry to hijack your thread, but you could get good answers on how to get a third gal for a threesome in about 2 minutes by just going through a search engine. The fact you ask people "OK, I am so cool because my gal asked me THE MAN to have a threesome, so like how do I pull it off fellas" sounds more like bragging than sincerely asking for help. But hey, lots of braggadoccio goes on around here and much of it is downright hilarious so no I am not offended by it and I don't take offense to you openly bragging about how both your gal and you are really attractive and really cool and how every other gal on the street should be dying to sandwiched in between both of you. OK maybe those were not your exact words, but you get the point (-:

The ONLY people I know that have this deep need to insistently defend themselves do so because they truly dont know what their belief system is and are struggling to find it.

Nah my belief system is pretty grounded though like any rational and intelligent human being I try and challenge my beliefs from time to time with a healthy dose of skepticism. Blind faith is not for me whether it be in my religion or a sexual fad right now in popular culture. I suggest you go rent a movie called "The Sex Monster" with Mariel Hemingway. It is a very funny movie in my humble opinion and deals with some of the issues brought up in this thread.

They do this by trying to convince others that they are right. All for the simple fact that they are SELFISH. If you can convince another person that you are right then you can go on feeling slightly better and more secure because you "might" actually be on the correct path and belief system. This is selfish. It is an energy steal.

An energy steal? OK I don't know if that is a reference to Scientology or something else, but one of the tenets of a free society is that people can be evangelical about their religious, political, social, and economic beliefs and those who disagree with them can choose to ignore it. Hey, most of my friends come from many different walks of life, different faiths, upbringings, etc. and we openly discuss some of these difficult subjects to learn from each other. I myself in fact am a church going Catholic but my best friend is Jewish and my brothers are not religious at all. Do I think I am superior than my best friend because he is a jew or my brothers because they see the world differently than me? Nope. Am I afraid to express my beliefs. Nope. Why? Well because I am not a pussy that is why. People who are afraid to stand up for their beliefs don't deserve to be free, so don't give me this "energy steal" bullshit and either say "I don't feel like arguing" or else argue your counterpoint, but by all means please don't give this whiny retort of "PLEAAAAASE DON'T JUDGE ME AND HURT MY FEELINGS". OK, that might of sounded a bit harsh but then again is passively aggressively alluding to someone you don't even know first hand as being "selfish".

When you first replied to this email, you didnt look for what I was asking. You replied with your own agenda.

Ahhhhh yah I come to a Penis Enlargement forum to convert filthy heathens like you into god-fearing monogymous good people who bake great brownies for the church socials. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! Yah get real dude. This is not McDonald's where you can just order what you want at a drive thru and then assuming the guy at the drive thru didn't spit in your food, you actually get exactly what you want. No this is a discussion forum and you brought up the topic of threesomes. I gave you some real advice and my opinion along with it and now you complain about someone voicing their opinion. I mean seriously do my opinions hurt your feelings or offend you? Geeeze, I hate to see the reaction of the gal you pick up if she looks at your willie and says "dude you need to do some Penis Enlargement" (-:

This means you were trying to prove a point. You also stated that you didnt pass judgement on the act or "us" but you just dont realize that you did.

I was talking about sikdogg not you. For me to judge you, I would have to know you and then care enough about you as a person to bother to waste my mental energy on judging you. So no, I reiterate I am not judging you, but thanks Dr. Phil for pointing out that "I just did".

The judgement you passed was that you were more intelligent. I surely wouldnt be thinking of doing this act if I possibly knew as much as you do. This is ego. You needed to point out the things that I couldnt possibly have thought of "because of my lesser intelligence" and you needed to step in to save me. You assume that I didnt weigh out the risks versus the benefits myself. I have thought of the positives and the negatives long before I posted this asking for help from my Penis Enlargement brothers.

I am more intelligent? Maybe I am maybe I am not. This "judgement" debate started when Sikdogg suggested my opinions do not matter because I don't have sex with multiple partners at a time several times a month. He alluded to the fact I am not as experienced and I said "no shit Sherlock". Hey, I was not trying to save you, I was just voicing my opinion plain and simple. The fact you are thinking long and hard (no pun intended) about getting jiggy with another gal makes me wonder why on earth you need advice from your "Penis Enlargement brothers". For crying out loud this forum is a really cool place, but not some boy scout campfire circle jerk to see who gained the most manhood in the last month. Admit it, you felt proud that your girlfriend thinks you "ARE THE MAN" and you wanted to share it with everyone on what you perceive to be an anonymous forum of a lot of well hung men thanks to Penis Enlargement.

Before you reply, which I know you will have to. I want you to seriously sit down and think open mindedly about what I wrote before you respond.

Hey man, don't be so sensitive, especially if you are going to go through with this stuff. You are the guy with the dick and the balls in the relationship with your girlfriend so do whatever you are going to do and don't worry so much about what other people think about it all. Nevertheless, you posted here looking for instant approval and some moral support to drum up the courage to go fish for some bisexual woman to have sex with you and your girlfriend and amazingly you found someone give you on opinion that was unlike the "YOU GO GIRL" comments from a few other posters in this thread.

Peace.

 

[MCTFB]

MCTFB, I don't know if I'm the only one, but I agree with everything you've said here in this thread 100%.

With everything you said I could not of said it better than myself, just my tone sometimes tends to be a little more blunt and therfore offending but heh that is just me (-:

Great post nevertheless (-:

 

[MCTFB]

Tired of this bullshit...

I asked for help finding a girl for a threesome, not for all sides of the story and ethical/moral issues associated with it. By trying to "HELP" me by deciding what you think is best for me is pointless to both of us.

So unless any further posts are helping me with WHAT IVE ASKED FOR HELP WITH, I am tired of wasting my energy on it.

Hehe, if this discussion is making you tired I feel sorry for you when you try and find the energy to please two women at the same time

 

[Stuff_]

:clap:

 

[MCTFB]

So are you saying 3 somes are wrong?
There are so many things that are wrong if you follow any sets of beliefs. Stuff and MCTFB (who seem extremely similar), you guys seems to be using religious, cultural, and self respecting beliefs. In many religions its wrong to jerk off, yet almost every male does it. It's wrong to lie but who here has never told a lie. I could go on for hours of normal day things every person does that is considered "wrong". Yes, these things are easily avoidable and can be worked on...the only reason i m posting becuase i think its really fucked up to have a comparison of murder to a three way...virtually trivial next to murder ...

Define wrong? Seriously. Where do morals come from? I have had this discussion before with many atheists and well 95% of them get cottonmouthed even though this question is not religious in nature at all, just that they can't find any ground work for basing morality on. I mean, there are plenty of animals who eat their own young from time to time (cats for example), and well why shouldn't humans be allowed to do it if cats can?

The fact of the matter is it does not matter and I was making the point that having threesomes and killing someone because it makes you feel better (maybe that person made you feel bad because he called you a bad name) could be wrong or very right depending on who you ask and what their beliefs are. In civilized countries, laws are largely based on a compromise among everyone who lives there as to what they believe is right and wrong at any given time. It really is that simple, so you saying threesomes are OK but it is wrong to lie is based on your idea of right and wrong based on popular culture or law. Morality generally defines laws, not the other way around so just because something is legal does not mean it is right (that is up to every individual to decide), but something which is illegal is generally seen by the people of that community as generally wrong. Slavery was not such a big deal several hundred years ago in the United States because it was morally acceptable to the majority of people. Then when whites started losing jobs to slaves, slavery became less popular and finally leaders in the north started using moral arguments for the abolishionist movement to advance their political motives.

And for you to say comparing threesomes to murder is fucked up is just your moral interpretation of the analogy. There are plenty of people in the world in different cultures who see adultery as a more serious crime than murder, so you might as well say millions of people around the world are fucked up as well. I am not judging your morals because I don't know what they are, though if I were to pigeon hole your belief system I would say you are non-religious and you subscribe to Maxim.

Sorry, my opinion, the comparison is completely bullshit. Sorry your girlfriend had a 3 way before you , i'm sure you have to struggle with it and its hard, but she will still be there in morning, the kids parents won't be.

That was my ex-girlfriend. The image of someone you love being ravaged in strange ways by other people turns a lot of people off. This is quite normal actually, just as many white guys will never date a white woman if they know she has been with a black man. My point was it caused unintended future consequences in another relationship because your actions in the present often have side effects in the future so you should be skeptical of what you allow into your life if you care about yourself and the people around you.

While you chose to be with your girlfriend and can choose to dump her and find a new one that kid never chose his parents and he cannot just choose new ones, its something much more haunting than picturing a significant other fucking 2 other people at once instead of one...

This is definatly turning into a deep thoughts post...Sorry jakb still with you on the 3 some!

OK, but I thought he was sooooooooooooooooooooooo close to his gal. But what if he wants to marry her someday and what if the kids find out how kinky their parents are? I mean, if what they did was cool, then why not let the kids know about their lifestyle when they reach an acceptable age of say 18 or so.

 

[jakb]

King of assumptions! If the words were face to face, you or I would realize what was really going on, but alas having an internet discussion, especially with a subject that could be an emotional one is useless.

Youve obviously spent alot of time, energy and thought on this. Seems a waste.

Have a good one.

 

[JJcali]

"Define wrong? Seriously. Where do morals come from? I have had this discussion before with many atheists and well 95% of them get cottonmouthed even though this question is not religious in nature at all, just that they can't find any ground work for basing morality on"

Theres a reason you cant define wrong. There is no such thing as "wrong", it is not concrete- it is an idea . It's liek saying definme love,hate, respect, and so on. Even though there is a general idea they mean different things to different people, their meanings are infinite.

 

[JJcali]

"There are plenty of people in the world in different cultures who see adultery as a more serious crime than murder, so you might as well say millions of people around the world are fucked up as well."
Genrally yes i do. I'd much rather see my dad cheat on my mom then kill her. It would hurt my and my family immensely but it far out weighs death. Also, i don't see 3 somes as adultery - i have no wife , I see 3 willing people trying something new and maybe they can learn from it good or bad. I personally wouldn't have a 3 some
with my girlfriend and i've told her that and she would never want to. I did get head from two girls at once in highschool. It was a great experience and fun memory nothing i regret. I was jsut having fun and so were they none of us were in love.

"I am not judging your morals because I don't know what they are, though if I were to pigeon hole your belief system I would say you are non-religious and you subscribe to Maxim"
Actually i am religious, however i don't believe in the Catholic Church system. Religion and faith is an idea and when you take that idea and try to make it concrete it because corrupt. The church flourished on greed and corruption just look at the crusades or look at all the molestation cases coming from all over the country. I download adult entertainment i beat off i've never subscribed to any adult entertainment/guy magazine. I've never been to a strip club becuase i see them as one big cock tease if i want sex i go have sex.

"OK, but I thought he was sooooooooooooooooooooooo close to his gal. But what if he wants to marry her someday and what if the kids find out how kinky their parents are? I mean, if what they did was cool, then why not let the kids know about their lifestyle when they reach an acceptable age of say 18 or so."
Parents were kids once too, they fucked up jsut like i do. MAny parents did drugs, cheated,stole, etc when they were young but usually they don't go telling their children about how "cool" it was. Teh point of my statement was exactly what you did-you dumped your X and got a new girlfriend -that kid will never get his parents back. I don't disagree with your beliefs by any means, I just think you might take some to the extreme. No one is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect utopia world, I'm sure youve done many things you personally disagree with, everyone does.

And again i must add at the end of the post... good luck jakb!!!! sorry for the take over of your post

 

[jakb]

"Define wrong? Seriously. Where do morals come from? I have had this discussion before with many atheists and well 95% of them get cottonmouthed even though this question is not religious in nature at all, just that they can't find any ground work for basing morality on"

Theres a reason you cant define wrong. There is no such thing as "wrong", it is not concrete- it is an idea . It's liek saying definme love,hate, respect, and so on. Even though there is a general idea they mean different things to different people, their meanings are infinite.

Love you man! :clap:

 

[hopful]

lol
where do you guys get the energy and the time for these endless posts?

 

[MCTFB]

Theres a reason you cant define wrong. There is no such thing as "wrong", it is not concrete- it is an idea . It's liek saying definme love,hate, respect, and so on. Even though there is a general idea they mean different things to different people, their meanings are infinite.

OK, so is murder wrong? I thought you said there was something fucked up with "Silence of the Lambs" shit. I assume you mean what I was referring to was wrong. So there is no such thing as right and wrong in this world and everyone should live in a complete state of anarchy?

 

[MCTFB]

lol
where do you guys get the energy and the time for these endless posts?

I type fast, and it does not take me much time to reply. Plus I don't get emotional about it all just I have fun rolling with the punches. Its all good if you ask me (-:

 

[tbirdy]

@MCTFB


Spooky ! I read all of your comments in this thread and really felt what you tried to say.
My way of thinking and making a difference between whats "wrong" and "right" for me and for others is indeed very similar to yours.

Putting thoughts into words in such a rich, vivid and stylish way seems to come easy to you. You have an excellent sense of humor wich I like.

jakb said "Youve obviously spent alot of time, energy and thought on this. Seems a waste."

I felt it was the best read since I joined the Forum. If you really think about it jakb, MCTFB is/was the only guy so far who offered "real help" , shared deep thoughts and even shed light on possible consequences MOST Penis EnlargementOPLE WOULDN't EVER THINK ABOUT ! And even if they did they would ignore it.


MCTFB ! I said that we have a similar way of thinking and judging things , however I tend to be more pessimistic. I lost the energy to explain things to people I don't care about. I developed a hate for the stupid masses. For people who are blind by decision.

people who lie to themselves (because its the easy way out of everything) and then believe in this lie are lost souls to me. They can't be argued with.

Looking at the world , the way society developes , the way kids grow up now and the sure death of morals, belief , respect , modesty, moderation , family , truth, for the majority makes me unhappy, pessimistic.

How do you feel about the masses ? Does it make you said ? DO you even care ? Is it even possible to care ? I don't have enough tears to cry for every dead or abused child,women illustrated each and every day in the news. I see but I Ignore. Self-defense. The more you know about life in general , the less you want to know.

My way out is to make sure that I have contact with people who are free in their minds, have charakter, experience and respect for their own life.
I can learn from them alot.
You don't have to be highly intelligent to be my friend. I fear I ain't myself. Being good hearted and judging real right from real wrong is what counts to me. Also being happy and thankful for what you already have is very important. Some people are always unhappy because they forget to stop the endless chase or pursuit of happyness and realize there are already millions of reasons to be happy !


@MCTFB - I look forward to reading more of your wityful comments.
"just I have fun rolling with the punches" - I guess that is really why you post here. Sport for the intellect. YOu need output ? Do you feel lonely when you fail to explain something because the other person is blind, and ignorant ? What is your way out ?


@jakb - remember the time when you didn't have a girlfriend , yet wanted one really bad. Remember how beautyful the first date was. Her smile and giggle. How you enjoyed her company ?! Then the first time you kissed , the first time you 2 got intimate. Didn't you feel like the luckiest mofo.
Why do you need more than that ? Have you lost this feeling ? Have you lost respect for her ? Is this high , that I'm sure used to be THE BIGGEST THING IN THE WORLD at the given moment , less important to you now. Is there really any need to "top" it ?
You don't appriciate what you already have , neither does your girlfriend ! You already began looking for alternatives , for another "highs". This is greed ! There must be something wrong with your relationship. Something that used to be there , obviously is lost. The truth is (my truth , my real "right") there is no need whatsoever for a threesome. Talk to her , tell her what
MCTFB told you. See what happens. If she still insists - dump her greedy ass. Or be a slave to your dick , a slave to her pussy , screw morals , screw her and her friend , believe in a lie - learn the hard way that having fun and being truly happy (no matter how great the fun)are not the same.



@people who are active swingers: Please don't involve children in your sick worlds. Believe in your lies if you want so. Thats what you do ! Or why don't you give your daughter a good night kiss and tell her : " Hey mommy and daddy just came back from an orgy. Yes , daddy shares mommy with other men and allows them to treat her like the sick whore that she likes to be, because daddy is a sick pervert himself and also a slave to his dick. WHen you grow up I want you to be just as sick-minded as your stranger cock-sucking-mommy. Wait till she wipes that sperm from our new neighbour jack , she'll kiss yah good night too. ! "

Sick isn't it. No swinger would ever tell this to their children ?!?!?! But it would be the truth !!!!!! Of course its easier not to admit that you are perverted and lost respect for your wife/husband. Tell yourself another lie and life is fine again. Guess what its not , in reality its pathetic. Ifeel sad for children who have swinger parents as rolemodels ! Fuckin sick perverted world.

 

[jakb]

I lost the energy to explain things to people I don't care about. I developed a hate for the stupid masses.

Definitely agree with that statement. Was thinking the exact same thing just before I read it.

You both have ALOT to learn.

Good Luck.

 

[MCTFB]

[No message]

 

[PaloMalo]

jakb,

dude your simple request for info has brought the crazies out of the woodwork...lol

Anyways as far as your threesome goes...I cannot comment on the swinger lifestyle and going online to find a girl for the threesome...

I'd recommend that you go out with your girl to actually pick up a partner together...there is something magical about the thrill of the hunt and if you guys are comfortable enough to go out together you'll find out how much fun it is. Now you can find a bi-girl anywhere in a regular bar or a club...or you can always go to a lesbian type of bar with your girl and scope the place out to see if there are any girls there that you like...the key is that if you want a threesome the best way to go about it is to start out with a girl that wants one too so you are fine--more than halfway there.

Part of the process is just teaching your girl about how to talk to other girls in a way that will turn them on...impart some of your gamesmanship to your girl dude...and go out and pick up a girl together...its easier to pick up another chick when you already have one and if your girl and you are attractive it will be even easier.

Those are the big picture suggestions...if you want more details and specifics try out www.fastseduction.com the site is ok...don't get too bogged down in there because plenty of the people that post there are clueless but if you search the archives you should find some gems...

Good luck and let us know how it goes....and oh yeah don't leave out any of the lurid details any questions ask away

 

[deebo]

After reading all of the threads on this makes me wonder how a bunch of dudes would argue over whats right and wrong with having threesome... It's every man's dream come true... but then when you think about it, there could be lingering issues as a result of it, particularly with your girl.. Can't speak for you since I dont know you, your girl or how strong your relationship is. But on one side of the issue I say go for it, but on the other hand "pause".

Playing the devils advocate (hate that term) suppose your girl is just testing you to see how far you'll go? Suppose she is using this as an alternative means of telling you she Bi-sexual? Suppose she is using this as a means of telling you she wants to fuck two men? Or hiding an affair and wants to slowly introduce you to him or her as the next member of your threesome? When women ask you about threesome, it's always Suspect! But then there are those who are just simply freaks and those who want their man to experience every man's fantasy and are secure enough to do it.

Therefore I say if you have strong feelings for her and are madly in love you need to ask yourself those questions and be certain that it's not the case or else you may end up a wounded Pup. But if it's not the case and she just wants to get Freaky.... Go for it! and if you are not madly inlove with her and it turns out to be one of the scenerio's above, Fuck it! You can always find another girl... Fuck em and them leave em!

Then you can roll with the big Dawgs!

 

[penguinsfan]

I'm thinking a threesome would be cool as hell, but I don't think I could do it with someone I cared about. I just don't think I could separate the sex from love enough to ever do something like that, personally. It works for some people. I have a friend that married a Ukrainian girl and she has no problem with it, because I guess bisexuality for women is a little more accepted there and she was comfortable with bisexuality before she met this guy. She found it perfectly natural to share him. This was when they were living in Kiev, but I don't believe they have had such adventures since he brought her here.

Personally, I would love to find a couple of girls that are kinda into that thing and give it a go. Another thing on the "list of things to do" that will likely never get done. I have never been in love, may never be in love, so I can't really relate the sex thing to love, having never felt it.

Do I think it is immoral? Yeah, I suppose so. My religious upbringing left we with a number of strong moral beliefs, though I am not a religious person at this point in my life. Yet, I have done a number of immoral things in my life, some within the past week. Personally, I would classify premarital sex as "immoral", but that doesn't mean I wouldn't do it right now, provided I had interest in the willing participant. In fact, I'll probably have another venture with it in a couple weeks. It's not something I ever really intend to brag about to any future children I might have, as I do think it does not set the example I would ideally like them to live. Plus, there are my politicial ambitions, which make me watch everything I do. So, I guess I view such activities in a negative light, but ultimately say "So what?" when it comes to my own fulfillment. I don't think this makes me hypocritical, having explained my views.

While I do believe that God himself frowns upon such activities as those proposed by jakb and sikkdogg, I'm not going to spend my time condemning them when such things appear to work for THEIR particular relationships, especially for sikkdogg who has been married for many years. To me, it's their business and, at the end of the day, they seem like good people.

 

[TheExecutioner]

Reading MCTFB's first post and the others I strongly agree with what he says, he speaks a lot of truth here, particualry the first post which makes a lot of good points.