Help please! ED?

B

backmask67

0
Due to years of watching adult entertainment and masturbating (from age 11 to now, 26) I find it difficult to achieve an erection without adult entertainment. After losing weight and feeling a bit more confident (still a big guy. 320 lbs lbs 6 ft), I began to date. Our first few times were embarrassing as I found it difficult to get hard. I would be going down on her, sucking on her breast to look down and just see a flaccid dick. I have taken Viagra that I received from a friend the last few times we were sexually active. I got rock hard immediately but found it difficult to maintain an erection while switching positions. She would have to perform oral for about 30 seconds to get me hard again. I am hoping that this is due to adult entertainment induced ED rather than the real ED. With that being said, I was thinking of going on a No adult entertainment challenge. I would like to practice getting hard solely with my hand stimulation and masturbating. The problem is, I don't get fully hard when I don't watch adult entertainment, maybe 40-50% erect. Since I've read that it is bad to masturbate and release when not fully hard, should I begin by holding that erect state for as long as I could and hopefully work my way up as the days go by?

Sorry for the wall of text.
 
backmask67;715840 said:
Due to years of watching adult entertainment and masturbating (from age 11 to now, 26) I find it difficult to achieve an erection without adult entertainment. After losing weight and feeling a bit more confident (still a big guy. 320 lbs lbs 6 ft), I began to date. Our first few times were embarrassing as I found it difficult to get hard. I would be going down on her, sucking on her breast to look down and just see a flaccid dick. I have taken Viagra that I received from a friend the last few times we were sexually active. I got rock hard immediately but found it difficult to maintain an erection while switching positions. She would have to perform oral for about 30 seconds to get me hard again. I am hoping that this is due to adult entertainment induced ED rather than the real ED. With that being said, I was thinking of going on a No adult entertainment challenge. I would like to practice getting hard solely with my hand stimulation and masturbating. The problem is, I don't get fully hard when I don't watch adult entertainment, maybe 40-50% erect. Since I've read that it is bad to masturbate and release when not fully hard, should I begin by holding that erect state for as long as I could and hopefully work my way up as the days go by?

Sorry for the wall of text.
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Here's what I can suggest. Kegel. Kegel every day. Do 3 sets of 25 reps of kegels every day. You can increase this over time. This will help you take physiological control of your erections. Masturbation won't give you any help in having a better erection quality. Do edging instead where you touch yourself and reach the "point of no return". But do not let yourself ejaculate.
 
kyomoto;715842 said:
Here's what I can suggest. Kegel. Kegel every day. Do 3 sets of 25 reps of kegels every day. You can increase this over time. This will help you take physiological control of your erections. Masturbation won't give you any help in having a better erection quality. Do edging instead where you touch yourself and reach the "point of no return". But do not let yourself ejaculate.
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I can reach the PONR but I am not always fully hard. Is this okay or should I avoid doing this? I will definitely try Kegels. Thank you for your input.
 
BackMask;715845 said:
I can reach the PONR but I am not always fully hard. Is this okay or should I avoid doing this? I will definitely try Kegels. Thank you for your input.
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It's best to be 100% erect and no semi's, if adult entertainment helps you get 100% then do it that way just don't ejaculate
 
The affects of you quitting adult entertainment won't manifest immediately...it took you 15 years to develop this dependency, so it will probably take a significant amount of time to re-wire your brain, not to mention a concerted effort from the rest of your faculties.

Best of luck, bro
 
With that being said, I was thinking of going on a No adult entertainment challenge.
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Stop thinking about it, and just do it. Of course adult entertainment is the problem. The reward pathways and dopamine receptors in your brain are fucked up.

The only caveat I would offer is to not think of it as a "no adult entertainment challenge". It's not something you can do for 30 days and go back to once you've "completed the challenge". It's now your lifestyle. You don't get to look at adult entertainment anymore, for the same reasons that an alcoholic don't get to drink anymore. Your brain cannot handle it the way most people's brains can.

I know all of this because I struggled with the exact same problem.
 
Big Schwanz Acht;715854 said:
The affects of you quitting adult entertainment won't manifest immediately...it took you 15 years to develop this dependency, so it will probably take a significant amount of time to re-wire your brain, not to mention a concerted effort from the rest of your faculties.

Best of luck, bro
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Fucking adult entertainment terrible addiction too...
 
Fucking adult entertainment indeed!!!
It's the worst!


Do everything my brothers here say! But I just posted a very interesting piece, that will definitely help you.
I'm waiting for moderator to approve I will share it
wish you the best!
 
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seven_wants_ten;715860 said:
Stop thinking about it, and just do it. Of course adult entertainment is the problem. The reward pathways and dopamine receptors in your brain are fucked up.

The only caveat I would offer is to not think of it as a "no adult entertainment challenge". It's not something you can do for 30 days and go back to once you've "completed the challenge". It's now your lifestyle. You don't get to look at adult entertainment anymore, for the same reasons that an alcoholic don't get to drink anymore. Your brain cannot handle it the way most people's brains can.

I know all of this because I struggled with the exact same problem.
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Pornography is something that most men will struggle with and in almost every case, when someone wants to quit they eventually fall flat on their faces and end up with a worse habit than before. I would like to say a few things that are important in this area. If you are married or have a girlfriend pornography should be a no no. You have a women and you should get your sexual joy from your partner, not adult entertainment. This is cheating and this is adultery when you are married. If you are single this is not the case. Single men need some kind of outlet or they will simply end up doing something far worse than viewing adult entertainment. In my case, I am celibate so I do not have sex. I also try not to lust at anyone during the day. I see a pretty girl, I notice her and turn my head and pray :) This type of commitment (in my case to avoid getting into a relationship) is a difficult one. So after a few days I need a release at which time I will use adult entertainment, I find whatever will get me off the quickest and turn it off. I would completely avoid it if I could get off without it. But I can't, when I try I truly end up coveting things I should not. Objectification is the worst part of adult entertainment as it can lead to objectification of people we see day in and out, but there needs to be something explained here that I think many men get wrong and for good reason, the internet says ten thousand different things.

I would like to bring GOD into this to help clear up some of the confusion of language used in the Bible that may cause many undue guilt in this area. There is a site I follow called the Word of God. This man, who has no name (or none that can be found) but the words he hears and writes are very good, especially with this issue.

"Once and for all I will settle this struggle, an ongoing ignorance of something so simple. I will permit this and explain that which you have asked.
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride

These are NOT sins by any standard and if someone has interpreted them that way, you are completely incorrect and are teaching false doctrine. These are things that belong to bringing carnal pleasures to your self in one way or the next. Easily I say Gluttony sums up all of these deadly sins but let me first explain what these deadly sins mean. These are actions that if are done compulsively become sinful. I would never expect you to never feel pride for yourself but you can see, if you become too proud you are now looking down upon your brothers. Pride should be shown with humbleness. This is this sentiment in it's perfect form.

But what most say is what about Lust? Is it a sin to gaze upon something of beauty and to give all praise to ME? Even if you dwell on this beauty, you still have not violated any law that is written. Where Lust brings you to sin is in the long line of steps that you take from seeing to doing. Where have you crossed the line? The second you had an objective, a moment where you have decided to intentionally go after something that does not belong to you. If it were sinful in planning a murder, many novels would never have been written. It is not sinful in the planning, nor the dwelling, it is in the action. Understand that if you dwell too long in these pretending scenarios you will be driven to sin. Thus the meaning behind the deadly nature of these actions. You were taught this today before I even came to you!




My Commandments are much different! These are written laws that are complete violations of MY Law. There is no bending on these Commandments, they were carved in stone! I will cavort to the last of the commandments because that is where you, and many other brothers, become puzzled. Coveting something is planning and taking action on that which is not yours. Is there confusion here? There is no bending to this Commandment. This is a Law, do not lust over something that is not yours and make an attempt to take it like a thief. I grow tired and anger with those who twist my words and the meaning behind them.

I hope these words have help you understand that which you are struggling with, I am a Kind GOD, a Patient GOD, a Loving GOD, I want you to have an imagination, your ability to pretend is the beauty of your creations. I keep you small and renew this cup every day, you will never be great. But now you can see what I have always meant, from the start of creation till this very, fleeting moment.
Shalom"


So as we can see, even if we do not agree on the source of his prophesy, there is a very, very, very big difference between Lust and Coveting. Now this is not giving an excuse to go out and lust you ass off, as the man said, this will bring you to sin. But lust, not acted upon, is simply admiration. Let me say it this way; If you are married and you se a beautiful women, there is nothing wrong with admiring the beauty, whether it is her face, her ass, or any other part of her body. Where you step from lust into sin is when you covet. This is the step talked about above. So the second you catch eyes and make an attempt to capture her attention, you have now crossed the line. A single man does not need to worry on these things but he still needs to keep himself in check with coveting because anyone can covet. I should also state that is was an intentional doing of the church to change the world from coveting to lust in the deadly sins, the Greek definitely made it clear that coveting was the proper word, not lust.


In closing, sexual urges are natural, just like hunger and thirst, depriving ourselves of these things can lead to a much more volatile situation. Be disciplined with yourself, if you are single do not spend your days lusting and watching adult entertainment, this will bring you to just as bad as a place as the earlier. Taste from all things in life, never taking any of it for granted. If you need to use iron in your routines, use the most innocent images you can find or get some Viagra.
 
This is a helpful article that approaches masturbation from an "after the fact" way. I found it helpful as I have read endless articles on how to stop masturbation or pornography, but they all say the same thing, inflicting guilt, making it even harder to rid yourself of these addictions. In my option guilt is only helpful to a certain degree until it becomes damaging. The ways to refrain from masturbation and pornography are pretty much the same no matter what you read. Remove all adult entertainment from the house, put a adult block on the computer and have someone you trust hold the code, making yourself accountable by confiding in a close friend or group that will be strong with you (like the Brotherhood) Praying in the times of temptation, finding a way out through avoidance, pretty much everything we already know and things that rarely work. In my opinion the best thing to do when the temptation comes up is to subject yourself to God and give it to Jesus to deal with. When you feel the urge put it in God's hands and pray for the urge to pass. I also find it helpful to look at the women in adult entertainment as my own Child, Sister or Mother; This helps me to see that I am objectifying women and this puts some perspective on it. Anyway, here is the article and I hope it helps.

7 things to do AFTER you have masturbated/watched pornography
 
doublelongdaddy;716261 said:
This is a helpful article that approaches masturbation from an "after the fact" way. I found it helpful as I have read endless articles on how to stop masturbation or pornography, but they all say the same thing, inflicting guilt, making it even harder to rid yourself of these addictions. In my option guilt is only helpful to a certain degree until it becomes damaging. The ways to refrain from masturbation and pornography are pretty much the same no matter what you read. Remove all adult entertainment from the house, put a adult block on the computer and have someone you trust hold the code, making yourself accountable by confiding in a close friend or group that will be strong with you (like the Brotherhood) Praying in the times of temptation, finding a way out through avoidance, pretty much everything we already know and things that rarely work. In my opinion the best thing to do when the temptation comes up is to subject yourself to God and give it to Jesus to deal with. When you feel the urge put it in God's hands and pray for the urge to pass. I also find it helpful to look at the women in adult entertainment as my own Child, Sister or Mother; This helps me to see that I am objectifying women and this puts some perspective on it. Anyway, here is the article and I hope it helps.

7 things to do AFTER you have masturbated/watched pornography
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Reflect if it was good to your self
 
I was reading another article on masturbation and pornography and I heard something that got me to make a commitment to stop looking at adult entertainment. The author said to see every woman as your sister, daughter or mother and you will quickly change your mind in the weal moment. Stopping masturbation is something I do not have to do but I do not see how I can masturbate without adult entertainment or lusting. I have read that sleeping orgasms take care of the issue of release. So we have a lot of information and I think we should continue to add to this thread. This is the single biggest issue that comes up in the Brotherhood.
 
doublelongdaddy;716430 said:
I was reading another article on masturbation and pornography and I heard something that got me to make a commitment to stop looking at adult entertainment. The author said to see every woman as your sister, daughter or mother and you will quickly change your mind in the weal moment. Stopping masturbation is something I do not have to do but I do not see how I can masturbate without adult entertainment or lusting. I have read that sleeping orgasms take care of the issue of release. So we have a lot of information and I think we should continue to add to this thread. This is the single biggest issue that comes up in the Brotherhood.
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That's a great technique if you have adult entertainment addiction. OR turn the women into someone you would not do intimate stuff to. Great pick up advice DLD.
 
backmask67;715840 said:
Due to years of watching adult entertainment and masturbating (from age 11 to now, 26) I find it difficult to achieve an erection without adult entertainment. After losing weight and feeling a bit more confident (still a big guy. 320 lbs lbs 6 ft), I began to date. Our first few times were embarrassing as I found it difficult to get hard. I would be going down on her, sucking on her breast to look down and just see a flaccid dick. I have taken Viagra that I received from a friend the last few times we were sexually active. I got rock hard immediately but found it difficult to maintain an erection while switching positions. She would have to perform oral for about 30 seconds to get me hard again. I am hoping that this is due to adult entertainment induced ED rather than the real ED. With that being said, I was thinking of going on a No adult entertainment challenge. I would like to practice getting hard solely with my hand stimulation and masturbating. The problem is, I don't get fully hard when I don't watch adult entertainment, maybe 40-50% erect. Since I've read that it is bad to masturbate and release when not fully hard, should I begin by holding that erect state for as long as I could and hopefully work my way up as the days go by?

Sorry for the wall of text.
Click to expand...
i would give up adult entertainment 100%, sex with a woman you love is infinitely better than jacking it to adult entertainment. if she is being patient and understanding with you just try to relax and be yourself. Whatever happens happens but you are a young man it is highly unlikely you will need viagra. congratulations on the weight loss keep going with it, a healthy body is important too not just a clear mind...
 
huge-girth;716524 said:
I wish I can just quit masturbating
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You can! I will help you do it! First and foremost, remove the word "can't" from all statements you make on this issue. At [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] there is no such thing as can't. I have been successful through what I have posted. My ability to do this has come through my deep relationship with the Lord. When I was praying on this, as I said, it came to me to see all women as my mother, daughter, sister or wife (in my case the Blessed Mother). When we are able to stop the objectification we will start to see women more as humans than a source of quick canal, satisfaction.

Some may say, I can masturbate without insure thoughts, well my hat off to you! And if you are a Christian you have not transgressed in anyway as there is nothing wrong with masturbation. Where it becomes wrong, for me, is when I step into the deep, dark valleys of pornography to make it happen. So masturbation and pornography go hand and hand and ultimately you will be met with a desensitized practice of poor habit.

So for a married man this issue should not be a problem as you have a wife and together you can satisfy each other in this way. for single men it is harder, especially with no partner. This is my situation but for me it is a grace, I am happy to be single and celibate but for others this will not be the case. So what to do? Go to the above link I posted and really take it in. The 7 things to think on after watching adult entertainment or masturbating. It really takes a different approach to the masturbation issue.

Another thing we can do is hold each other accountable. We should have a confession thread, for those who want to stop masturbating or watching adult entertainment. Every time we fall we post our weakness and other Brothers will help and reprimand us. I like this idea because you guys are like my family and there is no one else I would rather confess to than you, my loving Brothers.

I hope this helped.
 
yep its quite helpful and helps me out too,watching adult entertainment can be a waste of time..

better being performers than watchers, we are the guys whit the big units lol:cool:

The awful truth is that adult entertainment is so powerful and people is consuming the product,we are fortunate when we get advice from you..:)
 
backmask67 said:
Due to years of watching adult entertainment and masturbating (from age 11 to now, 26) I find it difficult to achieve an erection without adult entertainment. After losing weight and feeling a bit more confident (still a big guy. 320 lbs lbs 6 ft), I began to date. Our first few times were embarrassing as I found it difficult to get hard. I would be going down on her, sucking on her breast to look down and just see a flaccid dick. I have taken Viagra that I received from a friend the last few times we were sexually active. I got rock hard immediately but found it difficult to maintain an erection while switching positions. She would have to perform oral for about 30 seconds to get me hard again. I am hoping that this is due to adult entertainment induced ED rather than the real ED. With that being said, I was thinking of going on a No adult entertainment challenge. I would like to practice getting hard solely with my hand stimulation and masturbating. The problem is, I don't get fully hard when I don't watch adult entertainment, maybe 40-50% erect. Since I've read that it is bad to masturbate and release when not fully hard, should I begin by holding that erect state for as long as I could and hopefully work my way up as the days go by?

Sorry for the wall of text.
Click to expand...
Just stop and watch adult entertainment for a while and see your world change for the better. I think you will be more happy. It's like bandwidth in our mind (thinking power) gets released when we stop watching adult entertainment. What I mean with this, is that you no longer unconsciously think about all the scenes in the adult entertainment movies. These scenes warp your existence of life, it warps your mind. You watch things you would never do in real life (and never experience), and subconsciously you think you are there. adult entertainment movies isn't real life.

Also it drains the Dopamine in your brain, and after some time of intense adult entertainment watching, you need more and more stimulation, ie: you are watching more and more hard-core adult entertainment, without getting any arousal from it.
Now your brain has come to a point, where the releases of Dopamine is much lower then when you started watching adult entertainment. You now need more external stimulus (stimulation) in order to feel motivated. Reading a book at this point can be hard, since you seek instant gradification and stimulus.

What I have found personally is when I stop watching adult entertainment, I start to see women in a more human way. I stop to objectifying them. And this releases a lot of tension in me, I'm more relaxed, and get less problems with social anxiety. I can be calm around people and look them in the eye.
Also I'm more relaxed around attractive and beautiful women. We are at the same level. I do not objectify them.

I did seamen (NoFap, with no adult entertainment) retention for 3 week, it came to a point, where I could not hold it in any longer. My horniness was out of this world.

I saw a girl at a supermarket during this NoFap period, I think she did this on purpose. She was working there, she kind of looked at me but not directly, but I somewhat looked at her, she didn't held eye contact with me. She was probably 2 meters from me, and we had a freezer between us (the freezer was approximately 0,5 meter, high from the ground). Only we two there, at that moment.

Then she walked off to a fridge and bent down, with her head down into the fridge, and with her ass up in the sky, you saw everything, since she was wearing yoga pants. She was darked skinned, which I'm super attracted to.

I didn't do anything, I glanced for a short moment at her ass, and walked away (I usually do not approach girls).
I picked up some milk, a distance from where she was. I saw her again (since I was attracted to her, and looked for her). Now she was just standing there, I thought I was going to burst in my pants. But I felt that energy, but then I just walked away.
The sexual energy in me then, was out of this world. It felt like it was oozing out of me, and all the women could feel it.

This insanity of lust and horniness, I think is normal. But we men numb ourselves with adult entertainment and masturbation, so our sexual energy gets depleted and/or depressed. This is my theory regarding this. I think if you stopped watching adult entertainment, and stopped masturbate so often (maybe once a week), I can practically guarantee you that your sexual energy will return to a normal state (If you are a healthy induvidual). But be careful, it can be extremely intense. But since you have a woman it's perfect, she are going to love it and you even more.

I challenge you to try NoFap with no adult entertainment, with; preferably semen retention also, but if you have a girl it's hard.
Set a time frame of 1 month. Can you do that?, if so I think you will see that your sexual energy will return. But don't return to adult entertainment after 1 month. It's like quitting alcohol, you do it for life.

Don't use words like:
I was thinking of going on a No adult entertainment challenge.
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You need to tell yourself that I will do this. If you are unsure of what you want, it's hard to meet your goals. What and how we tell ourselves something is really important.

Try it!
Also you can replace adult entertainment watching and masturbation, with doing penis enlargement exercises. This is my take on this. Hope this will help you.

By the way;
I have also been addicted to adult entertainment, I know all about that feeling.
It's really easy to get addicted to it, and it feels like it's draining our spirit.
 
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DLD said:
Another thing we can do is hold each other accountable. We should have a confession thread, for those who want to stop masturbating or watching adult entertainment. Every time we fall we post our weakness and other Brothers will help and reprimand us. I like this idea because you guys are like my family and there is no one else I would rather confess to than you, my loving Brothers.

I hope this helped.
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This is a great idea!
 
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