When a Woman Has Become Sick of Loving.....How Can She Heal Herself?

doublelongdaddy;623807 said:
Well the depression has not let up and it has been 8 months so my life is very limited right now. I sleep a lot because things can be too depressing if I am awake too much. I get up and do my work, get my PE in and watch some tv and sleep. I do see my grandchildren and son almost everyday, that is the high point of my life. But outside my schedule I have too much fear to venture off, this depression is a killer and it destroys so much of my social life. I just pray that God allows me to feel joy again soon. It is hard to eat and exercise is impossible. I guess you could say my day is a battle of depression and anxiety, day in and day out. But, usually, when the weather becomes cold I snap out of this, kind of sad it has not happened yet.
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thanks for sharing DLD. we all wish there was something we could do to help.
 
doublelongdaddy;623807 said:
Well the depression has not let up and it has been 8 months so my life is very limited right now. I sleep a lot because things can be too depressing if I am awake too much. I get up and do my work, get my PE in and watch some tv and sleep. I do see my grandchildren and son almost everyday, that is the high point of my life. But outside my schedule I have too much fear to venture off, this depression is a killer and it destroys so much of my social life. I just pray that God allows me to feel joy again soon. It is hard to eat and exercise is impossible. I guess you could say my day is a battle of depression and anxiety, day in and day out. But, usually, when the weather becomes cold I snap out of this, kind of sad it has not happened yet.
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I see what you mean DLD! But ok, I will tell you something and you tell me where I am wrong, ok? :)

It is YOU YOURSELF that can make you feel joy once again! GOD has given you the perfect environment- the human body- now it is up to you to control how life goes for you. If you want to find someone- go to adult-relationship sites, go out and try to meet someone. GOD has given all of us everything we need- it is up to us to get what we want. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, but I think it would be best to leave the brotherhood for a month or so- have your break, spend time with your family, with your friends- go see Jazz in Florida, try to meet someone new.... Me and YKM will take 100% care of the site during your absence, worry not! But I am telling this to you as someone who thinks of YOU and I think you should do the same! It is true that the brothers need you here, but more unhappy you are- the less productive you are- this is a golden rule in companies, this is why they always try to give their workers good rest and relaxation. Damn it, go to a spa or something, go to a sauna and have a cold shower afterwards (I love that!), do whatever, but snap out of it. If you don't do it- it will continue to chase after you and you'll have to keep running away. Do not do this- realize that even if you're needed here- YOU NEED YOURSELF more than any of us! I am really serious, please think about this and tell me what you think, if you go on a break- me and YKM will keep the forum as great as we can! Just remember- anyone who tells you to stay here and keep on being depressed does not think of you- he thinks of himself! I am giving this advice to you as a friend! :)
 
Mike is a really good man, he has been by my side through the ups and downs in my life and I wish we can be closer daily because I have no friends I can trust and be open with. We plan on getting together right after the holidays.
 
LIGHTNING;624220 said:
Mike is a really good man, he has been by my side through the ups and downs in my life and I wish we can be closer daily because I have no friends I can trust and be open with. We plan on getting together right after the holidays.
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Wouldn't it be cool to have a PE session together? LMAO! It'd be like, no no no- grab a little under the glans, yes just like that. LMAO!
 
Zambrodom3;624221 said:
Wouldn't it be cool to have a PE session together? LMAO! It'd be like, no no no- grab a little under the glans, yes just like that. LMAO!
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hmmmm...my first thought is it my be a bit weird lol. but i guess you all have seen some of my vids so i'd be the only one seeing someone else cock for the first time. lol
 
youknowme123321;624258 said:
hmmmm...my first thought is it my be a bit weird lol. but i guess you all have seen some of my vids so i'd be the only one seeing someone else cock for the first time. lol
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Hhahahhahahahhaha!
 
Zambrodom3;624221 said:
Wouldn't it be cool to have a PE session together? LMAO! It'd be like, no no no- grab a little under the glans, yes just like that. LMAO!
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Let's do it!!! 😉
 
LIGHTNING;624360 said:
Do you guys know how MoS started?
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I think so... As much as I know it is something like:

Mike made his incredible gains and called you to go and see him. Then he showed you the stretch marks and all of a sudden magically MOS appeared.... ok, maybe it's not EXACTLY how it happened, but I'd love to know more about this! :)

- - - Updated - - -

8incyclops;624365 said:
Let's do it!!! 😉
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Ok, you want me to bring my Bib Starter, X30 and Fleshlight?
 
Zambrodom3;624377 said:
I think so... As much as I know it is something like:

Mike made his incredible gains and called you to go and see him. Then he showed you the stretch marks and all of a sudden magically MOS appeared.... ok, maybe it's not EXACTLY how it happened, but I'd love to know!

Yes sir that is how it happened! ;)
Click to expand...
 
LIGHTNING;624389 said:
Zambrodom3;624377 said:
I think so... As much as I know it is something like:

Mike made his incredible gains and called you to go and see him. Then he showed you the stretch marks and all of a sudden magically MOS appeared.... ok, maybe it's not EXACTLY how it happened, but I'd love to know!

Yes sir that is how it happened! ;)
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Hahah! I remember DLD posting this somewhere. :)
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Zambrodom3;623898 said:
I see what you mean DLD! But ok, I will tell you something and you tell me where I am wrong, ok? :)

It is YOU YOURSELF that can make you feel joy once again! GOD has given you the perfect environment- the human body- now it is up to you to control how life goes for you. If you want to find someone- go to adult-relationship sites, go out and try to meet someone. GOD has given all of us everything we need- it is up to us to get what we want. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, but I think it would be best to leave the brotherhood for a month or so- have your break, spend time with your family, with your friends- go see Jazz in Florida, try to meet someone new.... Me and YKM will take 100% care of the site during your absence, worry not! But I am telling this to you as someone who thinks of YOU and I think you should do the same! It is true that the brothers need you here, but more unhappy you are- the less productive you are- this is a golden rule in companies, this is why they always try to give their workers good rest and relaxation. Damn it, go to a spa or something, go to a sauna and have a cold shower afterwards (I love that!), do whatever, but snap out of it. If you don't do it- it will continue to chase after you and you'll have to keep running away. Do not do this- realize that even if you're needed here- YOU NEED YOURSELF more than any of us! I am really serious, please think about this and tell me what you think, if you go on a break- me and YKM will keep the forum as great as we can! Just remember- anyone who tells you to stay here and keep on being depressed does not think of you- he thinks of himself! I am giving this advice to you as a friend! :)
Click to expand...

Thanks for the help Zam and I know you guys have my back. This year has been the hardest one yet, it seems as though my issues have gotten worse with time. I usually am in a good state of mind this time of year and the depression leaves me but that has not happened yet and we are into December, which means I have had depression for almost 9 months now. This has never happened before, usually by November I am in a much better place. I feat that the depression will just bring me to a mania completely skipping the hypo-mania that I need so badly. I plan on going to see Lightning soon and hopefully work through some of these issues. I have a great therapist and she is the best I have ever had but we still can't get a handle on the depression. I feel like I have let so many people down by not becoming well this year but I am doing the best I can. Please just keep me in your prayers!
 
jordey;624527 said:
the darkness is just the increased blood. it goes away usually if you take a few days off from pumping. as far as frequency, do as many days in a row as you can whilst still being able to recover
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Wouldn't my gains go away or get slowed down if i take a few days off? i have been doing this for 5 weeks straight
 
doublelongdaddy;624457 said:
Thanks for the help Zam and I know you guys have my back. This year has been the hardest one yet, it seems as though my issues have gotten worse with time. I usually am in a good state of mind this time of year and the depression leaves me but that has not happened yet and we are into December, which means I have had depression for almost 9 months now. This has never happened before, usually by November I am in a much better place. I feat that the depression will just bring me to a mania completely skipping the hypo-mania that I need so badly. I plan on going to see Lightning soon and hopefully work through some of these issues. I have a great therapist and she is the best I have ever had but we still can't get a handle on the depression. I feel like I have let so many people down by not becoming well this year but I am doing the best I can. Please just keep me in your prayers!
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... I see what you mean. But tell me- what is it that takes you out of your depression, what do you do to cheer yourself up? What is your favorite thing to do (outside of PE), what is it that makes you truly happy? You don't have to answer me, answer yourself- what is it? Whatever it is-then just start doing it. Plus, Christmas is coming, the time of the year when we are all together. Try spending some quality time with your son, grandson, with your friends... Listen DLD, I really admire you and I really want to help you somehow, but here the only one that can help you is YOU! You don't have to answer me, answer yourself! :) Much love!

8incyclops;624612 said:
Sounds like you need a big hug😊
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Definitely! If he was in my country I'd pay him a visit immediately! :)
 
Zambrodom3;624620 said:
... I see what you mean. But tell me- what is it that takes you out of your depression, what do you do to cheer yourself up? What is your favorite thing to do (outside of PE), what is it that makes you truly happy? You don't have to answer me, answer yourself- what is it? Whatever it is-then just start doing it. Plus, Christmas is coming, the time of the year when we are all together. Try spending some quality time with your son, grandson, with your friends... Listen DLD, I really admire you and I really want to help you somehow, but here the only one that can help you is YOU! You don't have to answer me, answer yourself! :) Much love!
Click to expand...

It is like a light switch that just switches on, nothing I do can cause when the switch happens, it just happens. I wake up and the depression is gone and hypo-mania is present. From there I feel the greatest joy of my life. For about 2 months I have complete relief from the depression, everything is brighter, happier, exciting, new, elevated, incredible...everything I perceived as being bad in the depression starts to make sense and I can see and feel its value. After about 2 months of this things start to go too fast for me to keep up with and I slide into mania. Mania can be good in the beginning but over about a 6 week period it becomes too much and I end up needing help. This is how my life has been for 13 years and I truly wish I had control over it but I don't. Medication does not work, forcing myself to do things that bring me joy during the hypo-mania does not work, the only things that works is waiting for the switch to flick on.
 
doublelongdaddy;624752 said:
It is like a light switch that just switches on, nothing I do can cause when the switch happens, it just happens. I wake up and the depression is gone and hypo-mania is present. From there I feel the greatest joy of my life. For about 2 months I have complete relief from the depression, everything is brighter, happier, exciting, new, elevated, incredible...everything I perceived as being bad in the depression starts to make sense and I can see and feel its value. After about 2 months of this things start to go too fast for me to keep up with and I slide into mania. Mania can be good in the beginning but over about a 6 week period it becomes too much and I end up needing help. This is how my life has been for 13 years and I truly wish I had control over it but I don't. Medication does not work, forcing myself to do things that bring me joy during the hypo-mania does not work, the only things that works is waiting for the switch to flick on.
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I am really sorry to hear this DLD, specifically because I can relate. I was diagnosed Bipolar years ago, but I didn't believe it was true so I ended up being hospitalized over 6 times in the span of a few years. Recently I began to take medication and thank god it works, but the major side effect is that I have put on over 60 lbs of weight. My mania was so bad that I got into trouble many times because people just couldn't grasp that I wasn't in control of myself. I honestly loved my former manic states because I had so much energy, but hopefully I will never return to that point again.
 
shortdick;624848 said:
Ok guys we are what we are but we are going to change soon.....
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change to better ones like is necessary. just do things that lead to happiness
 
boohoohoo;624836 said:
I am really sorry to hear this DLD, specifically because I can relate. I was diagnosed Bipolar years ago, but I didn't believe it was true so I ended up being hospitalized over 6 times in the span of a few years. Recently I began to take medication and thank god it works, but the major side effect is that I have put on over 60 lbs of weight. My mania was so bad that I got into trouble many times because people just couldn't grasp that I wasn't in control of myself. I honestly loved my former manic states because I had so much energy, but hopefully I will never return to that point again.
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That describes it perfectly. I wait through endless depression for the short periods of hypo-mania that bring me joy. It is a tough illness to deal with and very hard for most people to understand. I really get to the point where I miss myself so much it makes it hard to do anything. Once I hit mania no one can understand me but still it is far better than the depression. No one should have to suffer with depression, it shits on every part of your life and strips you of anything good...it is the ultimate liar.
 
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