stress and anxiety hurt gains

I have had problems on and off with muscle spasms for a few years. I know now that I had been unconsciously tensing certain muscle groups, leading to chronic spasms (especially in the hip area including the pc muscle). I have gradually begun to improve through breathing exercises and being more aware.
Certain days wen i feel great, relaxed, no muscle tension, no anxiety I have noticed that I have a way better workout (bloodflow is increased) look and feel bigger downstairs
If I manage to put together a few days like this I see a noticeable increase in girth, then usually the anxiety or muscle spasms return and halt the gains or cause me to go backwards in size, thus causing me more anxiety. Like thoughts of failure or that I'll never reach my goals.
Being of thin build I was drawn to weight training, but after years I still look thin, I'm in good shape but nobody would think I lifted weights. I'm not really obsessed with getting big muscles, the point of mentioning it is that I put in a lot of effort, supplement eating tons of protein, but in the end it still feels like a failed, no matter how much I think positive, the good thing is I haven't given up.
This relates to Penis Enlargement in that I'm obsessed with getting a bigger dick, much like I was with getting bigger shoulders and arms, it all has to do with self image, and mine is so fragile it's ridiculous. Many days I hate looking in the mirror. I feel that the lack of decent gains in Penis Enlargement and in weight training are in someway related to stress/anxiety/too much cortisol. As I have tried many routines,
It may be just a general vitality thing. I've been to the doctor, bloodtests were okay, nothing wrong except anxiety/muscle tension/bad posture/fibromyalgia? I made my own ring of power so hopefully that will help with recovery and testorine in both areas.
I just don't want to wake up a year from now with the same 5.5" nbp x 4.5 girth I have now and the somewhat premature ejaculation. Try to kegels, but sometimes it cause me muscle tension, I had chronic prostatis a few years ago, with the kegels
I get harder, but I cum quicker, without them I'm smaller softer but can last longer

I feel my life is passing me by. Getting to a hard eight by next year I know would make me feel confident, because I did what most of the world thinks is impossible. All I need to do is figure out how to stay in a state were I get good workouts and I'm not overly affected by stress anxiety and muscle tension.
In closing I would like to say that this site
has made me a believer, if it was not for DLD and the rest of you guys expertise I may have given up. Now I know I never will give up. Any suggestions from anybody with similar problems would be greatly appreciated.
 
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