Dick Punches! Most complete exercise EVER

[Longth]

This one is really simple people.

Step 1: Lay your dick out in front of you on the table. Erect works better but flaccid you can do these bundled and really pound the crap out of your cock.

Step 2: PUNCH THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR COCK. There will be a ton of swelling. You should punch your dick AT LEAST 50 times with ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL FORCE. Pretend it's your mom, and just MURDER THAT COCK.

Step 3: Tie a knot around your dick as tight as you can. Preferably with a hardened duck fat wire. Then chug hard liquor until you black out. Be sure to have pain killers on the ready.

Step 4: Wake up in total agony and behold. You will have an enormous, black cock. All you need to do now is enjoy it until you pass out from the pain or amputate it. I recommend amputation cause that shit is infected dude. You black out again and you're going to just straight up die.

Step 5: Amputate penis.

Step 6: Get your amputated penis stuffed so you can put it on display above your television.

Step 7: Get bionic dick.

Step 8: wish you had your old not bionic dick.

I'm bored

 

[youknowme123321]

This one is really simple people.

Step 1: Lay your dick out in front of you on the table. Erect works better but flaccid you can do these bundled and really pound the crap out of your cock.

Step 2: PUNCH THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR COCK. There will be a ton of swelling. You should punch your dick AT LEAST 50 times with ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL FORCE. Pretend it's your mom, and just MURDER THAT COCK.

Step 3: Tie a knot around your dick as tight as you can. Preferably with a hardened duck fat wire. Then chug hard liquor until you black out. Be sure to have pain killers on the ready.

Step 4: Wake up in total agony and behold. You will have an enormous, black cock. All you need to do now is enjoy it until you pass out from the pain or amputate it. I recommend amputation cause that shit is infected dude. You black out again and you're going to just straight up die.

Step 5: Amputate penis.

Step 6: Get your amputated penis stuffed so you can put it on display above your television.

Step 7: Get bionic dick.

Step 8: wish you had your old not bionic dick.

I'm bored

I will make the video for this!

 

[Longth]

I will make the video for this!

I don't always troll

But when I do it's freaking ridiculous

 

[VoorheesXIII]

Made me laugh sooo much!! Should stickied in the newbie section! 😂😂😆

 

[boohoohoo]

I wouldn't mind a bionic dick.

 

[youknowme123321]

I was making the video but i passed out during stage 2. guess my cock will have to remain the same

 

[Longth]

I was making the video but i passed out during stage 2. guess my cock will have to remain the same

lmao

Clearly you need to be black out drunk for it to work!

 

[Longth]

I was making the video but i passed out during stage 2. guess my cock will have to remain the same

And post what you have so we know what you did wrong!

 

[youknowme123321]

lmao

Clearly you need to be black out drunk for it to work!

move that to step 1

 

[youknowme123321]

And post what you have so we know what you did wrong!

i'm pretty sure the problem was trying to do it in the first place lol

 

[Longth]

Should I add a disclaimer?

Or maybe it'd be more fitting if Satyre did?

 

[stillwantmore]

Sounds as good as sticking your penis in a jar of wasps. I have actually seen that one posted before.

 

[longstretch]

Well it's only 8:30 AM here but that's enough internet for me today

 

[LONGERDICK7+]

I will make the video for this![/QU

YKM Hey wait a second think twice..

 

[boohoohoo]

Well it's only 8:30 AM here but that's enough internet for me today

That made me lol.

 

[samuriajack]

omg i jumped from 6' girth to 7" girth this really works , though i reccomen dropping a 50 pd weight on it insetad of a punch remeber the higher you drop it the more force builds up at impact

 

[Zambrodom3]

I don't always troll

But when I do it's freaking ridiculous

That was HILARIOUS! rofl!

 

[Longth]

Actually, a hammer works best. Multiple whacks up and down the entire shaft until you black out.

 

[Longth]

FYI for anyone severely handicapped this is a joke.

Just don't

 

[master_mind]

Common guys I just replaced my dick with a elephant trunk. But there is only one problem whenever I come across sugar cane my dick pops out and stuffs sugar cane in my ass. Lol

 

[Longth]

Common guys I just replaced my dick with a elephant trunk. But there is only one problem whenever I come across sugar cane my dick pops out and stuffs sugar cane in my ass. Lol

At least we all know you have a sweet ass.

Har har

 

[acromegaly]

I love having my cock slapped feels great, getting a blow job and right before I can orgasm my wife pulls it out and starts hitting it, I freaking love it

 

[samuriajack]

tell her to give you a uli next time you get a bj and have her suck you dry tell em how it feels id love to get a bj while the girls ulling me

 

[boohoohoo]

I love having my cock slapped feels great, getting a blow job and right before I can orgasm my wife pulls it out and starts hitting it, I freaking love it

Part of the reason I am so obsessed with gaining length first is that I want to be able to slap girls on the face with my cock lol.

 

[Longth]

Part of the reason I am so obsessed with gaining length first is that I want to be able to slap girls on the face with my cock lol.

Not all it's cracked up to be

I want to be longer to emulate some favorite scenes where the dude teases by running their dick up to their stomach or up their back.

Yea, I know you know what I mean.

 

[acromegaly]

tell her to give you a uli next time you get a bj and have her suck you dry tell em how it feels id love to get a bj while the girls ulling me

she cant fit her hand all the way around it

 

[Longth]

she cant fit her hand all the way around it

Girl's got some tiny ass hands then damb.

 

[acromegaly]

Girl's got some tiny ass hands then damb.

no, my dick is getting fat lol
http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/...ust-bathmate-sex-and-kegels-am-i-big-yet.html

- - - Updated - - -

especially the base, [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]bathmate[/words] grows your base girth like crazy

 

[Longth]

no, my dick is getting fat lol
http://www.mattersofsize.com/forum/...ust-bathmate-sex-and-kegels-am-i-big-yet.html

- - - Updated - - -

especially the base, [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]bathmate[/words] grows your base girth like crazy

Sorry. Feeling dickish humor coming on. That's some shit if you get your girth there sans [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]bathmate[/words]. I did that to my girl once. She was pleased to say the least.

 

[Longth]

Yea. I've noticed my base girth is massive. I like to have a gradual increase from glans to base. Easier to get in the door and crazy pressure at full penetration.

 

[boohoohoo]

Once again, I can't wait to get into the girth portion of my PE journey and buy a [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]bathmate[/words].

 

[huge-girth]

This one is really simple people.

Step 1: Lay your dick out in front of you on the table. Erect works better but flaccid you can do these bundled and really pound the crap out of your cock.

Step 2: PUNCH THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR COCK. There will be a ton of swelling. You should punch your dick AT LEAST 50 times with ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL FORCE. Pretend it's your mom, and just MURDER THAT COCK.

Step 3: Tie a knot around your dick as tight as you can. Preferably with a hardened duck fat wire. Then chug hard liquor until you black out. Be sure to have pain killers on the ready.

Step 4: Wake up in total agony and behold. You will have an enormous, black cock. All you need to do now is enjoy it until you pass out from the pain or amputate it. I recommend amputation cause that shit is infected dude. You black out again and you're going to just straight up die.

Step 5: Amputate penis.

Step 6: Get your amputated penis stuffed so you can put it on display above your television.

Step 7: Get bionic dick.

Step 8: wish you had your old not bionic dick.

I'm bored

I will never do this. Reading it frightens me.

 

[DLD]

I will never do this. Reading it frightens me.

Me too