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Stripeee;742085 said:
Just remember, as stated by many others, PE is a marathon, not a sprint. I have found that if you will not focus on the end result but embrace the journey you will come out the other side golden
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Stripeee;742213 said:
Having knowledge of the end of the journey would only lead to more stress, just enjoy the ride
Happy new year to all the brothers. Now is the time to update this thread and unfortunalty it is not going to be a happy update. Over the Christmas period I have been talking to the dream girl from a long time ago, we have been talking very regularly and even met up. I really have begun to feel like this second chance is going to come true! But on the 1st of January 2018 this little dream smashes beyond repair I think. On the 31st I spent the evening with her and her friends in a pub and eventually club in our town. Things seemed great until 03:00 on the 1st of the new year. I heard from her friends in a local takeaway food shop that she had gone home with another guy. I walked past her house as it is near mine and saw her light was on. I knock on the door twice and eventually she answers, she seems confused and says she is tired and hungover and just needs to sleep. She also says she really likes talking to me after I subtly mention (while acting a little drunk) that her friends claimed she has taken a guy home, she denies this and wants to see me again soon. I know this is a 100% lie! For multiple reasons. 1) I walked around the block and saw her light still on nearly 30 minutes later. 2)(more significant the 1!) I know the guy and messaged him where he disappeared to after the night out, after a couple of Qs admitted he went to a girls house 3) she messaged me later saying she didn’t like my snapchat (which was a honey trap) around an hour after I left hers so she couldn’t have been that tired!
I’ve been lied to by a girl i thought was so genuine and honest, now I know I’ll get responses saying you aren’t in a relationship so who cares, but this girl is special to me as she was my 1st and the only girl who’s ever truly been interested in me and not just attention. I feel so stupid thinking she might actually still have feelings for me and want to rekindle a former romance. I poured my heart out to a very cold, cynical but realistic friend and he said make her feel guilty, ignore her messages, and make her almost hate herself for treating me that way and want to try and make things up to me. Whatever she has to say I’m not particularly interested in as she said the previous day she didn’t feel like meeting as she was basically on her period! Another lie!
I feel so angry, betrayed and upset right now by her that I don’t think I want to know her anymore! Which is a scary thought as I adore this girl. I had not seen her for 3 years but when I met up with her it felt just perfect being with her. But unfortunately I think she has just become a bad fish in a sea where many of the fish are toxic and therefore a bad catch. I just don’t know how I can try to move things forward with her and that’s what truly breaks my heart.
I’ve been lied to by a girl i thought was so genuine and honest, now I know I’ll get responses saying you aren’t in a relationship so who cares, but this girl is special to me as she was my 1st and the only girl who’s ever truly been interested in me and not just attention. I feel so stupid thinking she might actually still have feelings for me and want to rekindle a former romance. I poured my heart out to a very cold, cynical but realistic friend and he said make her feel guilty, ignore her messages, and make her almost hate herself for treating me that way and want to try and make things up to me. Whatever she has to say I’m not particularly interested in as she said the previous day she didn’t feel like meeting as she was basically on her period! Another lie!
I feel so angry, betrayed and upset right now by her that I don’t think I want to know her anymore! Which is a scary thought as I adore this girl. I had not seen her for 3 years but when I met up with her it felt just perfect being with her. But unfortunately I think she has just become a bad fish in a sea where many of the fish are toxic and therefore a bad catch. I just don’t know how I can try to move things forward with her and that’s what truly breaks my heart.
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Hate to hear that Strip. The only positive thing I can think of is at least you found out what kind of girl she was early on as this will likely save you a lot of heartache in the future. IMO, the best thing you can do right now is to not allow yourself to be at her beckon call as this will make her think that she can treat you any kind of way and you will continue to be there when it is convenient for her. I honestly believe that there is a girl out there, you have just not found her yet. Keep your head up and don't let her get you down
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Once you make ANY girl your sole focus you're doomed. A woman, by nature, wants a man that is his own person and someone she can fully respect. If you're pining for her like a puppy (not to mention stalking her), you don't have a chance...ever...with any woman. Once you've chartered your course for YOU, then you will attract all the women you could ever want, but the primary focus MUST be on you and your world, not some girl (idea) you have dreamed-up
She knew something was up and we talked about it the next day, she said it wasn’t true and said she was up video calling friends back at uni! I’ve seen a phone log type thing with times etc and it does appear to be above board. However she has been a little more distant than, well last year, but I still assume she wants to talk. I’m going to try n take on board this advice as it is very important!!! If I let her push me around I’ll get nowhere with her or any girl in fact. I need to handle this in the right way or it will come back at bite me somewhere in the future I’m certain
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I hate to say this, but she has already won (not that this is a game or anything). Do yourself a big favor and make yourself too busy to talk/think/obsess about this girl...she knows you're a puppy and will follow her every command
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Stripeee;749133 said:
Good advice from BSA Strip. You don't have to ignore them, you can speak to them in passing. Women have a built in computer that constantly runs data on which men they lead around with a leash and which ones will not allow it. The ones that don't allow it are probably the ones that use them for a booty call, lol. We don't want to beat you down but the truth of the matter is, this girl will never treat you any different than she does now if you don't show her that you don't need her. I have known a few like this and once you turn the table on them, you usually end up having your cake and eating it too
She’s actually admitted that she’s gone for guys who don’t show much interest in her and that’s why she’s slept with a lot more people than I had assumsed (and would’ve liked). How do I interact with her in such a way tho? Coz atm she’s been doing an essay for uni but she is still online etc coz I can see multiple times she’s been online ‘x’ minutes ago? Even tho I messaged over an hour ago. This is what I struggle with and probably always will unfortunalty, it’s who I am, it’s like in another thread I made titled “I’m a loser” I’m just that guy.
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Stripeee;749296 said:
since you recognize your 'weakness', you don't have to be 'that guy'...it's your choice and 'getting the girl' or not won't change anything
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Stripeee;749309 said:
make your focus YOU, not her (or any other girl). If you have any interaction with her, make sure you're controlling the conversation and make sure you're the one to 'end-it', (just say, 'hey, it's been great catching-up (or whatever), but I've got to go'...it doesn't matter if you are busy or not, just be in charge of the exchange)
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It comes down to self control and self discipline. As BSA stated, you have to control the conversation and make sure that she knows you are doing her a favor by letting her take up your time to talk with her. Don't get me wrong, this skill takes practice but once you have mastered it, you will be surprised how women will go out of there way to spend time with you
