Favorite Cock Quotes

"Of course, once again, the frail male ego comes into play, and while condoms come in large, studded, ribbed and flavored varieties, you don't see small or petite or narrow models. We'll just have to see what kind of circumlocution the marketing folks come up with."

Food for thought

My father would take me and my brothers to pee, and you’re just dick tall, and your dad’s is out. This whale of a penis would fly out, and you have a mushroom cap that two hands could barely pull out from your body. And your dad’s penis would—thrummm! And you’d scream at this huge, hairy beast of an ugly—‘‘Goddamn! Aw, God!’’ And we’d leave the bathroom and all go, ‘‘Shit! Did you see that?’’

(quoted by Nancy Friday in The Power of Beauty)

"Are you cold?"

"It's shrinkage! Hasnt she HEARD of shrinkage??" 'George Costanza' Seinfeld


"Oh my gawd! THAT is a GIANT COCK!" Boogie Nights


"Cut! Call in the stunt cock! STUNT COCK!" Orgazmo


"Yeaaaa, suck it" Any �naked people movies� movie. LOL


"Under seven inches, eh! I dont think so!" Lil' Kim...song, Get Naked by Methods of Mayhem.


"Average size? Oh I dunno....probably 8 or 9 inches?" The Ladies Man answering a caller asking the infamous "What's average size?" question on an SNL Skit



"Scuse me, while I whip this out" Blazing Saddles

Originally posted by stillwantmore
"Average size? Oh I dunno....probably 8 or 9 inches?" The Ladies Man answering a caller asking the infamous "What's average size?"

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:D

Eminem (angry white rapper for those who dont know): "Oh no, Big Slim Dawg 80 pound balls, dick six inch long..."

Some good ones from Howard Stern:

Johnny says to Joey Boots when High Pitch Eric was shaving Joey's pubes, "That's either the smallest penis I've ever seen, or the biggest vagina!"

"I like to conquer. If my woman doesn't walk out of the room unable to walk, then I know I have not done a good job. I like a crippled woman. I like her wheeled out in a wheel chair. My women crawl away from me. I'm into rough sex. I like to grab you by the hair and throw you out the window ... Let's play some games, Goddammit."

"Me, I'm hung like a wet gerbil"


From the beginning of the song Insane Clown Possey song "Cherry Pie":
"I'm no cherry honey, it's just that youre so ....DAMN BIG!"


Robbin Williams in the movie Death to Smoochie:

[Smoochy lifts up a Cookie created by Randolph.] Randolph:
What are you, blind?
It's a cock! It's not a rocket, you sick f**k! It's a cock! Look. It's a cock and balls! A dick! Chorizo and the huevos! It's a big stiffy! It's a penis! Penis maximus! A willie! A weenie! Mr. Jiggle Daddy! The one-eyed wonder weasel! Don't you see that? It's Jimmy and the twins. Rumple Foreskin. He made this. It's made from dil-dough.


From Saturday Night Live: Fred Armisen: You know, when I first moved to this country, I was in third grade. And all the other kids in my school where white, Americanos. And I noticed, that when I went to the urinal to take a leak, my pene was bigger than all the other kids! So I went home to my grandmother, I say, "Abuelita! Why is my pene bigger than other kids? Because I'm Latino?" She said, "No. Because you're 23!"

from the movie NightWatch

"Sure I'm interested in 9 inches, I'm just not interested in fucking you 3 times to get it"

I read this from some guys yahoo profile:
"Life is like a dick. When it gets hard fuck it"

i was talking to a girl online the otherday.

the girl: you suck
the girl: dick
me: my name isn't Dick, its Peter, but close enough

This girl was telling me about her boyfriends cock. She said it had too many knots in it. I was like, what do you mean. She went on the say, "knot big enough, knot long enough and knot hard enough"

thats a good one DLD

Originally posted by doublelongdaddy
This girl was telling me about her boyfriends cock. She said it had too many knots in it. I was like, what do you mean. She went on the say, "knot big enough, knot long enough and knot hard enough"

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!

who can forget the aztec warrior in next friday? lol

I carnt remeber all the names he uses but its the part on Varsity Blues were the teacher asks Josh all the slang terms for a dick, dam thing goes on for hours.

STUNT COCK !- Orgazmo

I cant remember the name of the movie, but the line went

"It's BIG, it's BEAUTIFUL, and YOU'RE gonna LOVE it."


:D :cool: :D

"My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it? fuck no you aint seen it! it's the size of a peanut!"

- eminem, some random song i cant remember, lol

"His thing is so heavy!"
- Kristen
(19-year-old college junior describing the huge unit of her new boyfriend, who plays basketball for their college)