Patience is a very useful thing to develop, very difficult in some instances, but very valuable.
And what works for me when trying to develop sexual [words=http://fleshlight.sjv.io/c/348327/302851/4702]stamina[/words] is the recognition that you might have to let the overpowering urge to ejaculate completely subside before you bring on further stimulation in an attempt to initiate release.
One way to describe it is to think of waves. Waves of pleasure, waves of stimulation, waves of control. Orgasm gets caused by waves of pleasure, usually overriding everything else. A guy gets lost in the feelings, sights, sounds, fragrances of sex and it sometimes overloads his capacity to deal with all of this intense sensory input...BOOM...orgasm.
And usually becuase what you're doing feels soooo damn good y'just can't stop. Cannot.
Now think of waves of stimulation: building to orgasm. BUT, if you stop stimulating your sexual equipment (not just genitals-brain/nervous system too) before you lose control, you can, by practice, "reset" your loss of control point a little higher each time. The critical point is to keep control and stop the stimulation before you lose control.
This is where the images of "waves"comes in handy. If you were to chart most guys sexual responses the lines would look like the Himalyas. Near vertical line for the stimulation/excitement, reaching a short, abrupt, sharp peak and then followed by an equally vertical drop...usually referred to as "nap time."
Now think about converting that first vertical rise into a staircase, rising levels of excitement that you actually control. You control the rise of each step and you control the length of time spent at each step.
Orgasm is not a precarious peak to be reached and then fallen off of, but a plateau to be explored. At your leisure, at your own pace.
As you spend more time exploring your body's response to sexual stimulation you get a better feel for your reactions. You'll recognize what type and amount of pleasure and for what duration you can endure without actually having an orgasm.
Sometimes, mostly in the beginning of your quest, you will ned to stop all input entirely to stop your building orgasm. This is the "steps" level of control. This is where you actually have to rip your cock out of that beautiful pussy or that talented mouth in order to keep from coming.
But as you progress you can learn to lessen your orgasmic urge and...well..."ride it out" a little.
You won't need to stop completely, just slow down a bit. Or change something up to give a different type or intensity of input.
After you smooth out those sharp peaks to staircases by conscious thought and physical action then comes the time when variety in your lovemaking becomes instinctual. No conscious thought involved. No decision making- no hard choices (pardon the pun) made in the name of sself control.
This is where the waves of control take their place in your sexual talent pool. This is where the ability to sense your own and your partner's excitation, your levels of, or loss of, control. This is where the steps get smoothed out into long, lusty sinuous waves of greater and lesser pleasure. You no longer fear losing control because you are in complete control.
And it all comes naturally.
You ride those waves like a pro surfer. "Go with the flow" suddenly makes absolute sense.
She comes when you want her to, and you come only when you want you to, too.
Orgasm is no longer something to try and avoid, but something to enjoy at the moment of your choosing.
Your waves of pleasure and waves of control have become the same . And that's when things get REAL good! Because as you gain physical control you also learn mental control. As your mental control increases your physical control follows. It's a self-augmenting cycle.
The better you get: the better you can get.
All it takes is dedication and practice. So, a dedicated and enthusiastic (and usually energetic) partner comes in very handy!
