- Joined
- Jun 3, 2003
- Messages
- 126,172
For men who are plagued, like me, with checking rituals that surround measuing this may be familiar and perhaps helpful. First I want to describe my situation and see if anyone can relate. This is a typical obsessive attack:
I will wake and go into the bathroom and take a morning measurement. The measurement is excellent but I still see it as being small. I become convinced I measured it wrong so I measure again. Same measurement but my anxiety is now much greater and I still don't make the connection between what I just measured and how it looks to me. I then try to put the measuring device away thinking I will be able to forget about it and move on. In some twisted way in the back of my head I am convinced I did it wrong. After much anguish doubting myself (almost a mental argument between my doubting self and my rational self) I go back and measure again only now I am getting the same measurement but I am feeling smaller and smaller with each episode. This goes on until I feel completely satisfied (can take anywhere from 5 minutes to hours) I did everything perfect and I have extinguished all my doubts.
I know the problem here is that my self-view is off and the ruler is accurate. But during these episodes it becomes difficult to remain rational and realize this. I have found that giving myself a time limit on measuring (limited to 3 measurement) has been helpful and I think I know why. After taking a "quick" measurement I am able to put away the ruler and move on with my day. Even if I am not completely satisfied with the measurement this time limit seems to help eliminate the repetitive circle.
Being obsessive compulsive is a disorder that requires a compulsion in order to be a disorder. What do I mean? Well applying it to the above episode a visual picture can be painted showing how O.C.D. works, thrives and continues to control those afflicted. O.C.D. always starts with some intruding thought. In this case it is "My penis did not look at long as it measured"...everyone has these types of unwanted thoughts but most people have the ability to rationally filter them out, not the Obsessive Compulsive. The O.C. has this thought and the nagging desire for proof to counter the negative thought becomes relentless and the compulsion (measuring) is done over and over and over and over, sometimes for hours until these horrible doubts are squashed.
The problem with this chain of obsessive-compulsive thinking is that we never really get satisfied. The compulsion is a temporary fix to a problem with the way we think. As a matter of fact when I compulse around an unwanted thought I am bringing validity to the thought and telling my brain this thought is real and scary. If I was able to have the thought and move on without problem solving my brain would eventually become desensitized to the thought and it would no longer hold value (hence, the compulsion would no longer be necessary)
My problem is that it becomes very hard to resist the anxiety releasing compulsions because they temporarily fix the problem. But believe it or not when I give myself a strict time limit to the action and move on even if I get an answer I do not like the thoughts go away much quicker. It's called starving the obsession. If an obsession has no compulsion to feed on the obsessions become powerless.
I will wake and go into the bathroom and take a morning measurement. The measurement is excellent but I still see it as being small. I become convinced I measured it wrong so I measure again. Same measurement but my anxiety is now much greater and I still don't make the connection between what I just measured and how it looks to me. I then try to put the measuring device away thinking I will be able to forget about it and move on. In some twisted way in the back of my head I am convinced I did it wrong. After much anguish doubting myself (almost a mental argument between my doubting self and my rational self) I go back and measure again only now I am getting the same measurement but I am feeling smaller and smaller with each episode. This goes on until I feel completely satisfied (can take anywhere from 5 minutes to hours) I did everything perfect and I have extinguished all my doubts.
I know the problem here is that my self-view is off and the ruler is accurate. But during these episodes it becomes difficult to remain rational and realize this. I have found that giving myself a time limit on measuring (limited to 3 measurement) has been helpful and I think I know why. After taking a "quick" measurement I am able to put away the ruler and move on with my day. Even if I am not completely satisfied with the measurement this time limit seems to help eliminate the repetitive circle.
Being obsessive compulsive is a disorder that requires a compulsion in order to be a disorder. What do I mean? Well applying it to the above episode a visual picture can be painted showing how O.C.D. works, thrives and continues to control those afflicted. O.C.D. always starts with some intruding thought. In this case it is "My penis did not look at long as it measured"...everyone has these types of unwanted thoughts but most people have the ability to rationally filter them out, not the Obsessive Compulsive. The O.C. has this thought and the nagging desire for proof to counter the negative thought becomes relentless and the compulsion (measuring) is done over and over and over and over, sometimes for hours until these horrible doubts are squashed.
The problem with this chain of obsessive-compulsive thinking is that we never really get satisfied. The compulsion is a temporary fix to a problem with the way we think. As a matter of fact when I compulse around an unwanted thought I am bringing validity to the thought and telling my brain this thought is real and scary. If I was able to have the thought and move on without problem solving my brain would eventually become desensitized to the thought and it would no longer hold value (hence, the compulsion would no longer be necessary)
My problem is that it becomes very hard to resist the anxiety releasing compulsions because they temporarily fix the problem. But believe it or not when I give myself a strict time limit to the action and move on even if I get an answer I do not like the thoughts go away much quicker. It's called starving the obsession. If an obsession has no compulsion to feed on the obsessions become powerless.
. That is the way I broke my obsessive thinking. But still I have a problem, I want to see the gains as quickly as possible. But I can do nothing for that 
