I am near the EDGE

Red hang in there, this really sucks. You have been such an inspiration to me as I have been reading your posts since the PP days.

I can also say how fucked the UK justice system is, my next door neighbour got beaten up by his BOSS and got screwed out of his money, the man only got a fine not even a sentence.

But at least you know you have a problem which is the first step to being cured.

Hope you get better.

Originally posted by REDZULU2003
THANKS ALOT MAN, I wonna say to you all that my mind is all over the show, I mean I am snappy at the moment, so if you guys notice this at least you know why....I aint being funny with anyone personnaly, just that I am feeling like shit.

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RED what medications did he give you? There me be a 4 to 6 week adjustment period until the medications gets to a therapuetic dose. I know for myself I am still adjusting my meds after years:s You have to be real easy with yourself and realize it is going to take some time so don't be hard on yourself.

You have already made some very big steps in going to see a doctor and bringing your emotions to the group. Things will get better because your doing the right stuff.

I will keep you in my prayers.

DLD

Come on give me a big smile bro. You are gonna be fine. If ya need a shoulder or a friend I'm here for ya.

Redzulu....can I recommend some good reading that has had a profound impact on my life? The first book is called "Maximum Acheivement" by Brian Tracy and the second book is "Telling Yourself the Truth" by William Backus and Marie Chaplan. The second book has a lot of spiritual stuff but if you can get past that it is a good book. The principle of the book is to find positive and real truths about yourself that you know are true and tell them to yourself verbally everyday. The first book by Brian Tracy is basically about the same, but even better. It contains several "laws" that when applied can change your life. It's more about how the mind believes what it is told if told enough times. So start telling yourself some real, postive, and true facts about yourself that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt to be true. It works!

Red, hang on stay on the meds give them time to work.
US courts are A damn joke as well they stole $7000. from me and gave me $1200 back and tried to tell me how lucky I was to get any back:fight: :fight: :fight:
anyway don't give up things will get better, I will be praying for you as well.
LT

thanks alot my band of brothers.
Means alot.
DLD also needs your support too .... maybe we could open a therapy class

just a quick update on my progress in case anyone wants to know.

I seem tobe more content recently, I am also trying toget back with my ex so thats helped.
Receiving therapy soon, and my medication is kicking in along with the BAD side-effects of the other wearing out, these side effects included mania and violent fits
I still get bad episodes but no where near as bad.

Since leaving this board full-time and haveing a break has done me the world of good.
I have only posted about 4/5 times in the last few days, I wasnt suppost to, well I said I wasnt but I had to discuss things with a freind and congratulate the new mods, plus theirs this.

Yes so its looking BETTER thank god, my girl freind could be coming back, I will be back in work by the months end and my mind is feeling better, but I have to keep this up and not let slip.

I shall be back here full-time back to normal in 2/3 weeks but if things carry on going great for me I may stay part time [coming here few times a week].

I also saw the superbowl and I wanted Carolina to win, De homme was so unlucky he played a BLINDER, it was the kickers fault he blasted a shit one right near the end, damn that gave NE great field position ad they took full advantage of it.

cya guys soon

Glad to hear it RED. Time and dedication are the best healers. Life can't be shitty all the time. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. This is where we must keep going.

Good luck
Lappner

I wish you the best RED, stay strong. Keep working that tool and believe in yourself, we do!:rocker:

Sorry to hear about your struggles man, that's some heavy shit.

- W a x N

Red,

Read "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind"

It is a good read. The book is by. Dr. Joseph Murphy

Ill do that some time man, cheers.

Zulu man, first i gotta say i know where you're coming from on UK justice. Its the shits, makes me wanna get into politics just to lock the twats up and keep them off the streets. I'm all for plenty of jailtime for scum like this.

Just hang in there man. There is nothing original i can say. You *will* heal over time. You do *not* know what good things might happen tomorrow. I took a few setbacks 2 years ago and suicidal thoughts filled my head real quick. I lost my girl, my job, my self-esteem, my confidence and developed some strange dark thoughts. Its hard to explain but life became meaningless and seemed to have no point at all. There seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel. Shit, i couldnt even see the tunnel.

But i've come through it all. I am happier now, and my confidence and joy at life has returned. I am glad i stuck it through and am looking forward to things. You are not alone mate. And when you are better you *will* be stronger. All those cliches are TRUE

On a practical level, i found this helpful - think of those worse off than you and be glad for what you have. Think of the people who have lost limbs in accidents and how much they would give to be you. Think of the starving kids in the world, the people dealing with cancer, aids etc. My point is you should remind yourself how much you have to be thankful for.
Personally i watch a lot of history/war documentaries, and never stop being humbled by the stories of guys like you and me (probably younger) who lost their lives fighting for a cause they believed in...and we dont even know their names.

Anyway, hope some of my rambling makes sense. You're a hell of a positive contributor to this place and I'm sorry to see you are down temporarily.

Red you big drama queen

Just gonna throw my $0.02 in as well.

I don't have half the experience that some of the guys here have, I'm only 18 after all, but I've been through some tough shit myself.
Up until I was about 14, I was the kid in school who didn't really have any friends. I hung around with this group who didn't really like me, they used to pick on me and stuff and they didn't talk to me, y'know. Then one day I figured I'd had enough. I walked away and spent every moment of free time by myself, I promised I wouldn't go back to them no matter what.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I met a girl and fell in love. She loved me too but we couldn't get together cos she couldn't leave her psycho bf, and I got fucked over for 2 years. I was headed for a mental breakdown - I nearly did go crazy because of it and I was lucky that she left.
So I reformed again. I became massively more confident around everyone and everything, after all, nothing could possibly hurt me as much as what had happened. I'm now much happier and probably the only popular kid I know who has no enemies. I can take the fucking world on.

The point to this story has already been expressed (much better) in other posts. You can turn your life around, no matter where you are, no matter how low, no matter what, you can go from the bottom to the top.

My idol in life is Frank Sinatra. I love his music for one thing, but even if you don't, some of his life can really be inspiring. He was probably the most popular singer in America in the 40s, and then in the early 50s - his career plumeted, he'd left his family for a wife who didn't love him, he was abandoned by all his labels, his voice was haemorraging, he was trying to kill himself, he was down to 120lb, he was a total wreck.
But he landed a role in a movie he was perfect for, won an Oscar, and blasted back to the top of his form. Having hit rock bottom, his work had 5 times the power and emotion, the public adored him again, he was a superstar.

Plus Sinatra was hung like a fucking horse. No kidding.

Red, we're with you brother

thank you all

So things are going well lately?

yep. for once.

That is great red! Piggy!:D

Well REDZULU2003, you have got to stop feeling sorry for yourself. You Must assert yourself, gain confidence, listen to people as talk to you and give you advise. Have a few bevies mate, try smoking the wacky tabacy, learn to relax. If you continue to feel depressed have a wank. don't go through life getting puddled. I don't know how old you are, but I bet that your under thirty, single, and do not have any social life. Try going down the boozer, have a game of darts, or snooker, try getting a nice piece of tail, or a good Blow Job. This is from someone who has been there mate.

REDZULU2003 said:

As the title suggests I am near the edge mentally.
I have lost my job as a leading fireman after 2 years service.

Why?
I cant cope.
Not the job but with people.
I suffer from anxiety, depression, nerves, post traumatic stess disorder, paranoia and also have VERY mild Autism.
How the fuck I got in is beyond me, anyway I cant cope around people anymore or go out the house without nearing a panic attack.

lossed my job and am lonely.

I dunno what else I can do?
I am a mental mess.

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