Fantasy

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Help you w/ what? A suggestion?

don't want to be with anyone else

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You don't want to be w/ anyone else as a life partner, but you do as a sexual one. So you need to rephrase the statement. You might not mean long-term or even part-time sexual partner on the side, but it's still being w/ someone else in an intimate though short, relationship.


I wouldn't do it. You might find out that you've been missing something. What then?
You either quit before becoming too involved w/ wanting more or you start craving other women and ending up ruining your marriage or your life depending on if you hate yourself afterwards.

Do you have kids?

Is there spice in your relationship? How is her libido?

I'm not married, but maybe some swingers here might give you some advice on a few things.

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Hmmmmmm, now I see what it is. Your SEXUAL relationship is NOT good at all. Well, for the "she is never in the mood" thingy, I guess you two should have a serious talk about that. And about your fantasy- worry not, it is something VERY normal- to fantasize about this (especially when her libido sucks and yours breaks the roof), but if you REALLY love her, I would advise you not to do this. Hopefully there will be brothers that have been through the same, they will give you the best advices around. I hope you sort everything out with your girl and make the right decision .

Anytime I bring it up to her, her response is. "I won't be with you if you cant leave me alone about sex" or "I'm not going to do anything if I'm not in the mood" or "Sex isn't a big deal for me so leave me alone" I would be fine about not having sex all the time if I could get that "release" some other way but she does not that that. She says when I do that it makes her feel like I'm not attracted to her and that she's not good enough for me.

You are not missing anything! The sanctity of marriage is a blessing. I can tell you from vast experience, cheating was never worth the experience I wanted. If I was loyal in my youth I would still have a wife and a life in a complete family. God gives us gifts, and a mate is one of the most precious. If you violate this you stand in risk of losing it. You have someone you love that loves you, good and bad, cherish that and hold on to it tight!

doublelongdaddy;592221 said:

You are not missing anything! The sanctity of marriage is a blessing. I can tell you from vast experience, cheating was never worth the experience I wanted. If I was loyal in my youth I would still have a wife and a life in a complete family. God gives us gifts, and a mate is one of the most precious. If you violate this you stand in risk of losing it. You have someone you love that loves you, good and bad, cherish that and hold on to it tight!

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I agree 1000000% with the WHOLE DAMN POST!!!!!!!!!! I have never cheated on the girl I love, but once I fingered another girl. I can tell it to you- it is NOT worth the pain and guilt you would feel! It is NOT worth it!!!!

Im not 100% happy with her because of the way things are right now but I do want to be with her because I know we can be happy together just everyone had there rough patch. I don't want to cheat on her but I do fantasize about it and idk how id react if one day I was at a bonfire with friends and it was right there in front of me waiting. I've turned it down before but that was when we were 150% happy and had sex all the time.

LNL;592248 said:

Im not 100% happy with her because of the way things are right now but I do want to be with her because I know we can be happy together just everyone had there rough patch. I don't want to cheat on her but I do fantasize about it and idk how id react if one day I was at a bonfire with friends and it was right there in front of me waiting. I've turned it down before but that was when we were 150% happy and had sex all the time.

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A good marriage is a mix of good and bad, it is getting through the tough places that really build it's longevity. Remember, there is always a chance when you cheat that there will be some feelings that may make you believe the new girl is better than the old but I did this too and I can attest to the fact that the new girl got old even faster than the old. In the end having a mate is all about having someone you trust that will be there for you no matter what. I wish I had this in my life and I feel the reasons that women do not take interest in me is chastisements from my past indiscretions.

LNL;592248 said:

Im not 100% happy with her because of the way things are right now but I do want to be with her because I know we can be happy together just everyone had there rough patch. I don't want to cheat on her but I do fantasize about it and idk how id react if one day I was at a bonfire with friends and it was right there in front of me waiting. I've turned it down before but that was when we were 150% happy and had sex all the time.

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Sorry you're going through this. I've never had a long term relationship myself. This is because I don't believe you.should have to work for happiness when it comes to a situation like this. I get out of relationship once a girl shows any signs of jealousy, rudeness to service works (waitresses, etc.), treating her parents not great and many other things. If the sex isnt good I fizzle out the relationship whether it is towards the beginning or after a few months. i've cheated before and have been okay with it in the past. It's not something that makes you feel great. It is also risky to your significant other b/c of disease which is the one thing that would really weigh on me the 3x i cheated on someone which is why i haven't cheated on someone in 5 years.

It is tough to say what is right for you to do. You know yourself and your wife much better than any of here. you are in a tough spot. Take some time and right down how your feeling about the situation you and your wife are in. Why you think it is happening. if just the 2 of you can solve it. fantasies you have that include her. ask her if she has any. Just to get all your thoughts in one place. then you can reorganize what you have written. get rid of stuff or add stuff that you didn't write down at first. This will help you think more clearly about it and not forget anything you may want to talk to her about. you could even give it to her to read eventually once it is all written down clearly. Just a suggestion.

You obviously love her a lot and want to express that with her physically but it seems it isnt being reciprocated and that is leading to your wondering eye becoming more enticing.

The biggest things that are "pushing me away" are she doesn't act like she appreciates anything I do for her. I work 12hours a day 5 or 6 days a week and I make well more then enough money to were she doesn't have to work, so I gave her the proposal that she doesn't have to work as long as she takes care of stuff around the house and she did for a good 5months then it stopped. Now when I come home I'll have to do laundry or pick up her dishes and glasses from the day, take care of "her dog she loves so much" vacuum the house etc or it won't get done. Another is sex, what can I say I'm a guy with a very high sex drive and I can't help that, sometimes its because I'm just in the mood and want to fuck, sometimes its that in the mood love making and sometimes I'm just stressed out and need that release. Now I mean I'd be fine with masturbating but she's like 100% against it, I never knew this until we were showering one day and I just started doing it lol and she almost left me over that. I do everything for her with no complaints(rub her back/feet/neck/head. Itch this, scratch that etc) but the second I ask for anything it's a big deal. Like if my back hurts after work, I have to stand in the shower with the shower head on massage lol. I've tried taking to her about this stuff before and it never changes, honestly idk what to do. I've given her plenty of chances to change and I myself have changed for her and its still the same. Its like sometimes shit is horrible and idk if I want to be with her then the next day it could be the best day ever. We've just been together so long and ive never been with anyone else and ive never experienced a break up so idk how id deal with that. In the years we've been together the longest we have been apart is one weekend like 48hours.

Seems like you're a nanny to a grown ass woman. Did you make another thread on pegym before? I swear I seen it somewhere.

If you're not happy or see a future of things becoming better, you get out of the situation. There is no point in staying around if you feel the other person is not fulfilling the other side of the relationship bargain. That being said, you're going to want to talk things out and try to make them better. That's really all you can do. What you don't want is someone changing themselves just to suit your happiness when they themselves don't want to act like that towards you in the first place. Basically them being fake just so they get benefits from being in a relationship w/ you.



I agree w/ DLD a tad. You just have to determine can you live w/ this type of bad. I say your situation is more horrid than bad though IMO. Seems she is deteriorating towards you which is much different than just having a bad argument w/ someone.


What do you mean she almost left you due to you masturbating near here in the shower? Was it just an argument? How did it go?

She needs the talk. Shes not depressed is she? I would hate for someone to leave a situation when the other person is mentally deteriorating and CAN be good, it's just the other person didn't take the time to try to fix things that could had ended up perfect/much better.

When I did it she said it just made her feel like shes not good enough for me. shes never told me she's depressed just that she's unhappy with where we live. My parents have a big house so we are staying with them while we save money for a down payment on a house, id like to get 50% saved up but she just wants to do it now but I know in the long run putting 50% down will be much better. She says that's the main reason she's unhappy and acts the way she does but she has it fucking made and I've pointed that out to her. So many girls would love to have it as easy as her, get to chill at home all day and not have to work and get everything you want. Shit I'd love that lol. I've had other girls tell me in front of her that they'd be so lucky to find a man like me, idk what it's going to take her to realise that she has it easy, maybe telling her I want a few days break? But I've always thought that'd make things worse because I'd see how great it is to be free lol

LNL;592374 said:

But I've always thought that'd make things worse because I'd see how great it is to be free lol

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So everything you said about how iffy she is being, she claims is due to the living situation you all are in?
Do you really think she treats you odd intimately due to her and you living in your parents house?

I can see her point about that though. It's not her parents and that would put me in a uncomfortable situation.

How long have you all been living there?

Have you thought about taking a vacation and seeing how she acts?

I wouldn't put any money down on a house if I thought things wouldn't change. You just need to find a way to figure out if life will get any better.

If it was me. She would need to get a job and fix the sexual side of the relationship before any house shit happened. You're just going to be taking care of her it seems for the rest of your life. Most people wouldn't put up w/ that shit. Everything you've said paints the picture that she's using you and not giving anything in return.

Yes she says that's the reason and that's she's been on her period for 16days. But in the past we've fucked on her period multiple times. Ive told her I refuse to but a house with her until she changes her attitude and she says it will change 100% once we move, but I told her I need to see change before. We rented a place for awhile then both agreed it would be easier to save money for a house staying here, it was fine up until about 2 months ago. My parents can be very nagging and ask alot of questions about where we are going, what we are doing, trying to tell us what to do etc and I agree its annoying because we are adults but at the same time I kinda just ignore it and she let's it get to her. We've lived here 7months now. Ive been planning on going on a vacation for our anniversary but that's in December. Honestly I don't think the sex will ever change, she says it's not a big deal in a relationship to her, but at the same time she should want to keep me happy right? I'd do anything to keep her happy.

I was unsure about posting about this but earlier today I was giving her a foot rub and rubbing on her legs and what not and I guess she noticed it was turning me on and started rubbing me with her feet, I told her before in the past it was a random fantasy to get a foot job from her and today she did that, it was very random and surprised me because she said she'd feel weird doing it.

Hopefully that's a sign of improvements on the way then because in your earlier posts you seemed adamant that your "fantasy" was not something to dismiss. I'd hate to see things worsen again and you end up following through on it because you have nothing to gain and everything to lose. Good luck.

It's unlikely to change...if she wanted out of your parents house she would work and contribute. or she would have continued contributing around the house. You have a lazy, selfish, rude, greedy girl. point that out to her and it may change her. i pointed it out to a friends g/f before and she actually changed b/c he was going to leave her otherwise and if she went back to it he'd leave her.

Yep... what the others said. She is using you. Until you see her change and start doing something for you- STOP doing so much for her. I recently had a "give 100 get 1" relationship experience and I can tell you that was SHIT!!!! I do NOT want to give you a bad advice, but the relationship you described above is NOT a healthy relationship. You have 2 choices at this rate:

1- You get her to drastically change and give you 100 for every 100 you give her (and no less!!!!).

2- You end it all.

Try to make her change- go to a therapist (the ones that are supposed to help married couples when they are having hard times (i dont remember how those professionals were called though)) or have a SERIOUS talk with her... i dont know.

Good luck and I wish you the best, but I am telling it to you- being used and abused is DEFINITELY not a relationship you want to be in!!! I hope you find your happiness brother, Zam

Zambrodom3;592510 said:

1- You get her to drastically change and give you 100 for every 100 you give her (and no less!!!!).

2- You end it all.

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Agreed. just give her these options. both end with you being happier. option 2 you'll feel down a bit at first most likely but you'll soon feel a weight lifted off your shoulders.