When a Woman Has Become Sick of Loving.....How Can She Heal Herself?

L

Lightning

The Legendary Mistress with the Whips
Staff member
She has always felt that emptiness inside of her growing up in her home....She never knew how it felt to be loved by a Man unconditionally......so she sought that attention in every Man she met....She wanted to attract that Man, so she did just about anything to catch his attention...She thought being sexual would please & attract a good Man, but not knowing that a Man will thrive off a sexual appearance and put it into a sexual act and only look at her in that way. So she gives her love (body) to the Men she meets, but not knowing what love actually feels like...She only feels a physical satisfaction whenever she climaxes sexually, then after that, the love is gone and she feels empty again....

She thinks she's choosing the wrong Men, so she keeps looking and attracting them with her body....The same routine continues....The sex, the climax, the emptiness, then she's gone....Now she realizes that she is unsure that a Man will ever love her how she wants, so she decides to create a seed that will surely love her unconditionally... So she has that seed but now she still feels that emptiness inside of wanting love from a real Man....She has gotten so depressed & insecure that she no longer dresses revealing or provocative...Before, she turned down great guys who wasn't focused on her body but was more focused on her personality.....Those guys were Boring to her.....

So that great guy comes along and approaches her....She didn't expect it because she felt she wasn't attractive enough and she wasn't dressed to impress...She wasn't use to a Man being attracted by her vibes rather than her looks...He enjoyed her conversation and personality...All this felt unusual to her..so she was kind of hesitant with him...She wanted to stop talking to him, but she couldn't stop thinking about him...No One has never asked or cared about knowing the real her rather than only focusing on her outer appearance...He saw something in her special...He seen the hurt, the brokedness, & the emptiness inside her....So he waits patiently for her to open up while he embraces every good & bad thing about her......This is making her unsteady, confused, & sick inside....She's detoxing & throwing up all the things & memories that she thought was love that came from those other Men....She is curious & is thinking "Can this be that unconditional love" I was looking for??"

So as months, goes by....she finally opens up and expresses her feelings to him....He grabs her tightly by the arms, looks her deeply in her eyes and says...."I Love You....take all the time you need, Im not going nowhere, and whenever you heal, I will be there to lift you back up.".....She melts inside...She realizes she has found someone who is first attracted to her mind, acknowledges & embraces her flaws and willing to let her heal her broken heart & unsteady emotions....She also realizes that her body was not an important target to attract a real Man.....She realizes how foolish she was...She realizes if she had that Man or father figure in her life who actually gave their time & unconditional love to her, she would have made better decisions concerning the Men she chose...She knows now that the stimulation of the mind is more important than the stimulation of the body.......So she unites with him.

*If the mind is not stimulated, then the body is only going through a sexual routine that will never be satisfied.
 
Zambrodom3;623143 said:
That was a really good read, thank you for posting it. :)
Click to expand...

Thanks for reading it.

This was basically the story of my ladies relationship life growing up. It is something I thought I should share. This is pretty much the same case for most women in life and it is something that all men should be read.
 
So it is your and your wife's story? Wow, it really is beautiful, it really takes to have a golden heart and an even better eye to see through all that is physical! :)
 
Zambrodom3;623170 said:
So it is your and your wife's story? Wow, it really is beautiful, it really takes to have a golden heart and an even better eye to see through all that is physical! :)
Click to expand...

Well its her story, I guess you can say I'm in her story ;-)
 
Shit keep them coming I'm all for learning new things that can teach not only me but others as well and this taught me to have patience for not only emotionally battered women but normal women as well. Like I said in another post you should consider setting up some sort of ebook or and something to the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] paysite about understanding and getting women since you have a good deal of knowledge about the subject which could aid so many men since we are on here to better ourselves in the mind and body department and having that knowledge just adds to betterment of men of the [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] brotherhood. So as I said before keep them coming Lighting your doing us all a great service for it. :cool:
 
It took a couple years before she finally started healing from her past. We would fight allot if I did anything that remotely reminded her of it. It was a hard learning experience for me but Ihad to understand she was damaged from all of her past corruption.

She hated when men try to hit on her...She felt like an object and not a person. She wore all black and no makeup when she went out in public but at night she was the star of the show. She had everyman in the building wanting her while she was on stage, ironically I never seen her on stage.

The first night we ran into each other I was drunk at my good friends birthday celebration and I was mad at the world. I told her to fuck off and she hated my guts. Everybody hated me when I was drunk and use to talk about it. A week later i ran into her again while I was sober and I apologized for bing a dick. We then started talking about life, I invited her out to breakfast and from then on we've never been apart.
 
LIGHTNING;623262 said:
It took a couple years before she finally started healing from her past. We would fight allot if I did anything that remotely reminded her of it. It was a hard learning experience for me but Ihad to understand she was damaged from all of her past corruption.

She hated when men try to hit on her...She felt like an object and not a person. She wore all black and no makeup when she went out in public but at night she was the star of the show. She had everyman in the building wanting her while she was on stage, ironically I never seen her on stage.

The first night we ran into each other I was drunk at my good friends birthday celebration and I was mad at the world. I told her to fuck off and she hated my guts. Everybody hated me when I was drunk and use to talk about it. A week later i ran into her again while I was sober and I apologized for bing a dick. When started talking about life, I invited her out to breakfast and from then on we've never been apart.
Click to expand...

Do you mind telling us what you fed her with? rofl! :)

P.S- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmfOzFzYumo for you!
 
Last edited:
Lol on the video Zam. I was just being real with her. I was educating her and allot of women like when they can learn something from a man.

The first two weeks we slept in the same bed together and never had sex. We kissed and I held her naked body but I didn't make a move on her. That drove her crazy and turned her on. She said usually men try to fuck her the minute they meet.

She than began worrying about me being gay due to me not making a move on her while sleeping in bed holding her. I laughed and said no, I was giving you time to help heal. She had never experienced what i did to her. It kept her guessing and women like mystery. That sealed the deal.

If you can learn how not to be a typical man in a ladies eyes it helps create mystery.
 
LIGHTNING;623272 said:
Lol on the video Zam. I was just being real with her. I was educating her and allot of women like when they can learn something from a man.

The first two weeks we slept in the same bed together and never had sex. We kissed and I held her naked body but I didn't make a move on her. That drove her crazy and turned her on. She said usually men try to fuck her the minute they meet.

She than began worrying about me being gay due to me not making a move on her while sleeping in bed holding her. I laughed and said no, I was giving you time to help heal. She had never experienced what i did to her. It kept her guessing and women like mystery. That sealed the deal.

If you can learn how not to be a typical man in a ladies eyes it helps create mystery.
Click to expand...

smooth
 
going all out;623197 said:
Memoirs of lighting A [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] exclusive :cool:
Click to expand...

:)
 
doublelongdaddy;623509 said:
I wish I had a similar story.
Click to expand...
same here Mike we all need a beautifu, intelligent, fullgrown woman to live whit, lonely and cold nights are not meant to be spent alone hahaha
 
Zambrodom3;623511 said:
Give it some time DLD. :) By the way, this might sound a bit awkward- but how can you describe your daily routine? :)
Click to expand...

Well the depression has not let up and it has been 8 months so my life is very limited right now. I sleep a lot because things can be too depressing if I am awake too much. I get up and do my work, get my PE in and watch some tv and sleep. I do see my grandchildren and son almost everyday, that is the high point of my life. But outside my schedule I have too much fear to venture off, this depression is a killer and it destroys so much of my social life. I just pray that God allows me to feel joy again soon. It is hard to eat and exercise is impossible. I guess you could say my day is a battle of depression and anxiety, day in and day out. But, usually, when the weather becomes cold I snap out of this, kind of sad it has not happened yet.
 
doublelongdaddy;623807 said:
Well the depression has not let up and it has been 8 months so my life is very limited right now. I sleep a lot because things can be too depressing if I am awake too much. I get up and do my work, get my PE in and watch some tv and sleep. I do see my grandchildren and son almost everyday, that is the high point of my life. But outside my schedule I have too much fear to venture off, this depression is a killer and it destroys so much of my social life. I just pray that God allows me to feel joy again soon. It is hard to eat and exercise is impossible. I guess you could say my day is a battle of depression and anxiety, day in and day out. But, usually, when the weather becomes cold I snap out of this, kind of sad it has not happened yet.
Click to expand...

thanks for sharing DLD. we all wish there was something we could do to help.
 
doublelongdaddy;623807 said:
Well the depression has not let up and it has been 8 months so my life is very limited right now. I sleep a lot because things can be too depressing if I am awake too much. I get up and do my work, get my PE in and watch some tv and sleep. I do see my grandchildren and son almost everyday, that is the high point of my life. But outside my schedule I have too much fear to venture off, this depression is a killer and it destroys so much of my social life. I just pray that God allows me to feel joy again soon. It is hard to eat and exercise is impossible. I guess you could say my day is a battle of depression and anxiety, day in and day out. But, usually, when the weather becomes cold I snap out of this, kind of sad it has not happened yet.
Click to expand...

I see what you mean DLD! But ok, I will tell you something and you tell me where I am wrong, ok? :)

It is YOU YOURSELF that can make you feel joy once again! GOD has given you the perfect environment- the human body- now it is up to you to control how life goes for you. If you want to find someone- go to adult-relationship sites, go out and try to meet someone. GOD has given all of us everything we need- it is up to us to get what we want. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, but I think it would be best to leave the brotherhood for a month or so- have your break, spend time with your family, with your friends- go see Jazz in Florida, try to meet someone new.... Me and YKM will take 100% care of the site during your absence, worry not! But I am telling this to you as someone who thinks of YOU and I think you should do the same! It is true that the brothers need you here, but more unhappy you are- the less productive you are- this is a golden rule in companies, this is why they always try to give their workers good rest and relaxation. Damn it, go to a spa or something, go to a sauna and have a cold shower afterwards (I love that!), do whatever, but snap out of it. If you don't do it- it will continue to chase after you and you'll have to keep running away. Do not do this- realize that even if you're needed here- YOU NEED YOURSELF more than any of us! I am really serious, please think about this and tell me what you think, if you go on a break- me and YKM will keep the forum as great as we can! Just remember- anyone who tells you to stay here and keep on being depressed does not think of you- he thinks of himself! I am giving this advice to you as a friend! :)
 
Mike is a really good man, he has been by my side through the ups and downs in my life and I wish we can be closer daily because I have no friends I can trust and be open with. We plan on getting together right after the holidays.
 
LIGHTNING;624220 said:
Mike is a really good man, he has been by my side through the ups and downs in my life and I wish we can be closer daily because I have no friends I can trust and be open with. We plan on getting together right after the holidays.
Click to expand...

Wouldn't it be cool to have a PE session together? rofl! It'd be like, no no no- grab a little under the glans, yes just like that. rofl!
 
Zambrodom3;624221 said:
Wouldn't it be cool to have a PE session together? rofl! It'd be like, no no no- grab a little under the glans, yes just like that. rofl!
Click to expand...

hmmmm...my first thought is it my be a bit weird lol. but i guess you all have seen some of my vids so i'd be the only one seeing someone else cock for the first time. lol
 
youknowme123321;624258 said:
hmmmm...my first thought is it my be a bit weird lol. but i guess you all have seen some of my vids so i'd be the only one seeing someone else cock for the first time. lol
Click to expand...

Hhahahhahahahhaha!
 
Do you guys know how [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MoS[/words] started?
 
LIGHTNING;624360 said:
Do you guys know how [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MoS[/words] started?
Click to expand...

I think so... As much as I know it is something like:

Mike made his incredible gains and called you to go and see him. Then he showed you the stretch marks and all of a sudden magically [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] appeared.... ok, maybe it's not EXACTLY how it happened, but I'd love to know more about this! :)

- - - Updated - - -

8incyclops;624365 said:
Let's do it!!! 😉
Click to expand...

Ok, you want me to bring my Bib Starter, [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]X30[/words] and [words=http://fleshlight.sjv.io/c/348327/302851/4702]Fleshlight[/words]?
 
Zambrodom3;624377 said:
I think so... As much as I know it is something like:

Mike made his incredible gains and called you to go and see him. Then he showed you the stretch marks and all of a sudden magically [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] appeared.... ok, maybe it's not EXACTLY how it happened, but I'd love to know!

Yes sir that is how it happened! ;-)
Click to expand...
 
LIGHTNING;624389 said:
Zambrodom3;624377 said:
I think so... As much as I know it is something like:

Mike made his incredible gains and called you to go and see him. Then he showed you the stretch marks and all of a sudden magically [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] appeared.... ok, maybe it's not EXACTLY how it happened, but I'd love to know!

Yes sir that is how it happened! ;-)
Click to expand...

Hahah! I remember DLD posting this somewhere. :)
Click to expand...
 
Zambrodom3;623898 said:
I see what you mean DLD! But ok, I will tell you something and you tell me where I am wrong, ok? :)

It is YOU YOURSELF that can make you feel joy once again! GOD has given you the perfect environment- the human body- now it is up to you to control how life goes for you. If you want to find someone- go to adult-relationship sites, go out and try to meet someone. GOD has given all of us everything we need- it is up to us to get what we want. DO NOT GET ME WRONG, but I think it would be best to leave the brotherhood for a month or so- have your break, spend time with your family, with your friends- go see Jazz in Florida, try to meet someone new.... Me and YKM will take 100% care of the site during your absence, worry not! But I am telling this to you as someone who thinks of YOU and I think you should do the same! It is true that the brothers need you here, but more unhappy you are- the less productive you are- this is a golden rule in companies, this is why they always try to give their workers good rest and relaxation. Damn it, go to a spa or something, go to a sauna and have a cold shower afterwards (I love that!), do whatever, but snap out of it. If you don't do it- it will continue to chase after you and you'll have to keep running away. Do not do this- realize that even if you're needed here- YOU NEED YOURSELF more than any of us! I am really serious, please think about this and tell me what you think, if you go on a break- me and YKM will keep the forum as great as we can! Just remember- anyone who tells you to stay here and keep on being depressed does not think of you- he thinks of himself! I am giving this advice to you as a friend! :)
Click to expand...

Thanks for the help Zam and I know you guys have my back. This year has been the hardest one yet, it seems as though my issues have gotten worse with time. I usually am in a good state of mind this time of year and the depression leaves me but that has not happened yet and we are into December, which means I have had depression for almost 9 months now. This has never happened before, usually by November I am in a much better place. I feat that the depression will just bring me to a mania completely skipping the hypo-mania that I need so badly. I plan on going to see Lightning soon and hopefully work through some of these issues. I have a great therapist and she is the best I have ever had but we still can't get a handle on the depression. I feel like I have let so many people down by not becoming well this year but I am doing the best I can. Please just keep me in your prayers!
 
jordey;624527 said:
the darkness is just the increased blood. it goes away usually if you take a few days off from pumping. as far as frequency, do as many days in a row as you can whilst still being able to recover
Click to expand...

Wouldn't my gains go away or get slowed down if i take a few days off? i have been doing this for 5 weeks straight
 
doublelongdaddy;624457 said:
Thanks for the help Zam and I know you guys have my back. This year has been the hardest one yet, it seems as though my issues have gotten worse with time. I usually am in a good state of mind this time of year and the depression leaves me but that has not happened yet and we are into December, which means I have had depression for almost 9 months now. This has never happened before, usually by November I am in a much better place. I feat that the depression will just bring me to a mania completely skipping the hypo-mania that I need so badly. I plan on going to see Lightning soon and hopefully work through some of these issues. I have a great therapist and she is the best I have ever had but we still can't get a handle on the depression. I feel like I have let so many people down by not becoming well this year but I am doing the best I can. Please just keep me in your prayers!
Click to expand...

... I see what you mean. But tell me- what is it that takes you out of your depression, what do you do to cheer yourself up? What is your favorite thing to do (outside of PE), what is it that makes you truly happy? You don't have to answer me, answer yourself- what is it? Whatever it is-then just start doing it. Plus, Christmas is coming, the time of the year when we are all together. Try spending some quality time with your son, grandson, with your friends... Listen DLD, I really admire you and I really want to help you somehow, but here the only one that can help you is YOU! You don't have to answer me, answer yourself! :) Much love!

8incyclops;624612 said:
Sounds like you need a big hug😊
Click to expand...

Definitely! If he was in my country I'd pay him a visit immediately! :)
 
Zambrodom3;624620 said:
... I see what you mean. But tell me- what is it that takes you out of your depression, what do you do to cheer yourself up? What is your favorite thing to do (outside of PE), what is it that makes you truly happy? You don't have to answer me, answer yourself- what is it? Whatever it is-then just start doing it. Plus, Christmas is coming, the time of the year when we are all together. Try spending some quality time with your son, grandson, with your friends... Listen DLD, I really admire you and I really want to help you somehow, but here the only one that can help you is YOU! You don't have to answer me, answer yourself! :) Much love!
Click to expand...

It is like a light switch that just switches on, nothing I do can cause when the switch happens, it just happens. I wake up and the depression is gone and hypo-mania is present. From there I feel the greatest joy of my life. For about 2 months I have complete relief from the depression, everything is brighter, happier, exciting, new, elevated, incredible...everything I perceived as being bad in the depression starts to make sense and I can see and feel its value. After about 2 months of this things start to go too fast for me to keep up with and I slide into mania. Mania can be good in the beginning but over about a 6 week period it becomes too much and I end up needing help. This is how my life has been for 13 years and I truly wish I had control over it but I don't. Medication does not work, forcing myself to do things that bring me joy during the hypo-mania does not work, the only things that works is waiting for the switch to flick on.
 
doublelongdaddy;624752 said:
It is like a light switch that just switches on, nothing I do can cause when the switch happens, it just happens. I wake up and the depression is gone and hypo-mania is present. From there I feel the greatest joy of my life. For about 2 months I have complete relief from the depression, everything is brighter, happier, exciting, new, elevated, incredible...everything I perceived as being bad in the depression starts to make sense and I can see and feel its value. After about 2 months of this things start to go too fast for me to keep up with and I slide into mania. Mania can be good in the beginning but over about a 6 week period it becomes too much and I end up needing help. This is how my life has been for 13 years and I truly wish I had control over it but I don't. Medication does not work, forcing myself to do things that bring me joy during the hypo-mania does not work, the only things that works is waiting for the switch to flick on.
Click to expand...

I am really sorry to hear this DLD, specifically because I can relate. I was diagnosed Bipolar years ago, but I didn't believe it was true so I ended up being hospitalized over 6 times in the span of a few years. Recently I began to take medication and thank god it works, but the major side effect is that I have put on over 60 lbs of weight. My mania was so bad that I got into trouble many times because people just couldn't grasp that I wasn't in control of myself. I honestly loved my former manic states because I had so much energy, but hopefully I will never return to that point again.
 
boohoohoo;624836 said:
I am really sorry to hear this DLD, specifically because I can relate. I was diagnosed Bipolar years ago, but I didn't believe it was true so I ended up being hospitalized over 6 times in the span of a few years. Recently I began to take medication and thank god it works, but the major side effect is that I have put on over 60 lbs of weight. My mania was so bad that I got into trouble many times because people just couldn't grasp that I wasn't in control of myself. I honestly loved my former manic states because I had so much energy, but hopefully I will never return to that point again.
Click to expand...

That describes it perfectly. I wait through endless depression for the short periods of hypo-mania that bring me joy. It is a tough illness to deal with and very hard for most people to understand. I really get to the point where I miss myself so much it makes it hard to do anything. Once I hit mania no one can understand me but still it is far better than the depression. No one should have to suffer with depression, it shits on every part of your life and strips you of anything good...it is the ultimate liar.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top