dmoney101, i don't know what you're approach was but your muscles seem to be very similar to mine.
For the exercise i gave you it is necessary to stop everything you are doing and focus on these muscles. There is no way you can hold this at MAXIMUM strength for 20 miniutes THREE times. When i say maximum strength, i don't mean sitting there at the computer holding a kegal and having a drink, eating dinner, and plucking armpit hairs. I mean teeth clenched, fists squeezed and anus tight enough to suction cup yourself to a window. Try bringing your knees up and crouching into a ball while you do the exercise. You need to really mentally push yourself for these few miniutes and even after you are done and you are still able to kegal, don't worry about it, it has worked hard enough. Remember every other day..
If this still doesn't work I have another exercise for you but i would rather here that you at least stick this routine for a little bit because it will teach you how your own muscles work and how they feel when they have been worked hard, you must really hone your sences into this area to feel them.
Post back and let us know how its going!!
BxB