REDZULU2003
Well-known member
As the title suggests I am near the edge mentally.
I have lost my job as a leading fireman after 2 years service.
Why?
I cant cope.
Not the job but with people.
I suffer from anxiety, depression, nerves, post traumatic stess disorder, paranoia and also have VERY mild Autism.
How the fuck I got in is beyond me, anyway I cant cope around people anymore or go out the house without nearing a panic attack.
I am still getting over being battered just 8 months ago by 20 drunken youths, they scared me mentally and physically.
Also still getting over the death of a close freind a year ago.
I hear voices, have weird thoughts, dont know where I am sometimes, get confused, get nasty, sleep all day, feel fucked off. gone off sex ----- the list goes on and on.
I have been going down hill for AGES now.
But I kept plodding along, get on with it was the family motto....but I cant anymore.
My lastday at work was a bad one.
I was getting more and more nervous around people to the point where I would make excuses up to get out the situation, like get the hoses done instead of helping the victim.
In the end I confessed to the Station officer.
I am making an appointment with the Doctor soon...I need more stronger tablets and some pharapy or SOMETHING to help me.
I aint the confident person some of you imagine, I in reality am weak and pathetic.
I cant even go to the shop counter to pay for goods without getting hot and panicky thinking someone is looking at me and gunna attack me.
Jeez, this is not even 1/10th of the story, its all long and complicated not to mention boring.
But this is whats going on now.
I am out of work, getting no income , no sick pay....nope ya dont get that just like that in the UK....I have to see the Doc' to medically see I am unfit, than I have to sign papers [lots] and after that I am only on £52 a week.
Anyways, I just needed to tell you all.
I am very down at the minute, I lossed my job and am lonely.
I dunno what else I can do?
I am a mental mess.
I have lost my job as a leading fireman after 2 years service.
Why?
I cant cope.
Not the job but with people.
I suffer from anxiety, depression, nerves, post traumatic stess disorder, paranoia and also have VERY mild Autism.
How the fuck I got in is beyond me, anyway I cant cope around people anymore or go out the house without nearing a panic attack.
I am still getting over being battered just 8 months ago by 20 drunken youths, they scared me mentally and physically.
Also still getting over the death of a close freind a year ago.
I hear voices, have weird thoughts, dont know where I am sometimes, get confused, get nasty, sleep all day, feel fucked off. gone off sex ----- the list goes on and on.
I have been going down hill for AGES now.
But I kept plodding along, get on with it was the family motto....but I cant anymore.
My lastday at work was a bad one.
I was getting more and more nervous around people to the point where I would make excuses up to get out the situation, like get the hoses done instead of helping the victim.
In the end I confessed to the Station officer.
I am making an appointment with the Doctor soon...I need more stronger tablets and some pharapy or SOMETHING to help me.
I aint the confident person some of you imagine, I in reality am weak and pathetic.
I cant even go to the shop counter to pay for goods without getting hot and panicky thinking someone is looking at me and gunna attack me.
Jeez, this is not even 1/10th of the story, its all long and complicated not to mention boring.
But this is whats going on now.
I am out of work, getting no income , no sick pay....nope ya dont get that just like that in the UK....I have to see the Doc' to medically see I am unfit, than I have to sign papers [lots] and after that I am only on £52 a week.
Anyways, I just needed to tell you all.
I am very down at the minute, I lossed my job and am lonely.
I dunno what else I can do?
I am a mental mess.