Bidet toiletes, anus hygiene, bleaching of the anus ... anus chat really!

S

stillwantmore

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What's it like? I just cannot fathom (get used to or absorb) the idea of a jet of water spraying my asshole ...um...clean? I personally use baby wipes vs. toilet paper because it's much cleaner. I dont even like the geysers of water shooting up my ass hole from the depth charge like shits I take sometimes! So, deliberately spraying down my ass after taking a dump...Hydromaxm...? There must be more to the system though than just using the spray...I mean surely that itself does not remove the dingleberries. There must be an accompaning wipe after ward right? If youre totally clueless about Bidet toilets...here's a good website: www.magicjohn.com

 
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OK Still, I will admit to having used a few. The ones I have used have mostly been in places where toilet paper is in rare supply, so it kind of made sense. In my experience, they have worked well, even to the extent of getting those "dingleberries" free. The problem is your ass is wet, albeit clean. So you have to stand around until it dries, or walk around with wet drawers, or use a hand towel (imagine accidental consequences here).

Positive things about a bidet are more on the female side. Ever gone down on a chick who had bits of TP in her crack? Or one that tasted or smelled of urine? Even one that just was dirty or smelled bad? A bidet will get rid of all those pesky annoyances.

I will say that from time to time I have convinced myself to install one on the boat. Some places TP is hard to come by, and saltwater is free. Have yet to actually install one though, but this could be the impetus to get me going.
 
you will obviously get your ass cleaner with a bidet than wiping with tp for 1 hour....but you will be wet and have wet spots on your pants...Hydromaxmmmm,not too attractive,but if you g/f tosses a salad (eats your ass), youre clean as a whistle :P :P :P :P :P :P
 
isn't that a french invention?

We used to have one a few years ago (more like a decade), and I think i used it once (cmon I was like 8). Can't remember though
 
It's a cultural thing from what I've seen. Arab people seem to use them, even if toilet paper is present. Personally, gimme charmin!
 
No experience with bidet for me. Its just TP then finish off with baby wipe. No it does not leave ya wet. If it did do you really think they would use them on babies. That would be instant diaper rash.
 
Haven't used one of these, but I usually wet the toilet paper, wipe, and then use dry toilet paper to finish it off. :D Anything else you guys wanna know? ;)

-ItsElectric
 
Not all bidés come with a water jet that sprays your ass from underneath.
Here in Portugal it is a very common bathroom appliance. Only in our case, the model we use comes with a regular faucet (just like you wound find in a sink), with both hot and cold water :P

So, how to use it properly?
1 - Wipe your ass with toilet paper as you usually do
2 - Sit at the bidé, run the water and, using some soap, wash your ass as you would if you were taking a shower. Remember that this step is only to clean your butt off of any "residue" that you weren't able to clean with the toilet paper. So it's not like you'll be getting crap all over your hand (sorry for the graphic image). Besides, you're using soap and water, so it is all clean.
3 - When you're done, dry yourself off using a towel. We usually use towels that are smaller than hand towels. Anyway, once you use the towel to dry your butt, don't use it for anything else other than drying off your ass (and don't share it with anyone else either) until you've washed the towel. This, I believe, is common sense :)
4 - You can pull your pants up without any risk of stains or wet spots, since you're all clean, washed, and dryed out :P
5 - Remember to always wash your hands after this (I'm sure you already do even if you don't use a bidé).

There you go, 5 simple steps. It's just a matter of habbit and I personally find it much more hygenic than not using it (it's a cultural thing, I guess), not to mention you can save some toilet paper too.

Other notes on the bidé:
- you can also use it to wash your feet if you come home after a day's work and don't feel like taking a shower.
- just as it is useful for washing twatts, it is also useful for a guy to wash his dick. Going down on a smelly pussy is one hell of a turn-off, so I think we should also do our best to make blowjobs enjoyable for those about to suck us :P
 
savageblue;428087 said:
bidés
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The only way to shit! Toilet paper is the most foul practice I know of...totally disgusting! Whoever came up with a paper that rubs the shit into your skin is sick. After you shit wash your ass!
 
I dont have a water jet up my ass but instead rinse the paper in the sink and wash the shiet out of my ass and than wipe it dry.
 
I am convinced that rubbing shit into your ass using toilet paper causes disease, how could it not? Wash your ass after you shit!
 
Simply get a cloth and wash your Anus with it, is that so hard? No big deal but this issue doesnt need making large. If people dont wash their shitter than they wont die from that. Mike (DLD) what you should be more worried about is your COLON and detox every 6 months because that is a place where allot of disease stars with 80% of Autopsy having problems in the colon.

When you detox with the relevant applications you shit strange stuff out that has been inside you for yonks. So washing your hairy shit hole doesnt matter in so much you need to get the real shit out of you or get a hose pipe and ram it up your ass and switch on to swill out the bowel and fart it all out.
 
redzulu2003;428747 said:
so washing your hairy shit hole doesnt matter in so much you need to get the real shit out of you or get a hose pipe and ram it up your ass and switch on to swill out the bowel and fart it all out.
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lmjao!
 
I think it is supposedly you should have a colon cleanse every 6-12 months you can lose up to 10lbs in the midsection area!
 
Turnover;428777 said:
I think it is supposedly you should have a colon cleanse every 6-12 months you can lose up to 10lbs in the midsection area!
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Well I am off the buy a pressure washer for my ass!
 
Thats correct you do lose weight and your colon area will shrink, giving a flatter stomach. Serious stuff guys. Never done it myself yet but know a few who have and seen enough blogs on those who do it with pix of the nastiness to know it works.

The shit that comes out is shaped like the insides of your intestines and is often very dark in colour with lots of mucus around it and smells BAAAAAAAAD. I have seen it in person when I was washing someone's ass several years back in hospital because they had recently been on a detox through the hospital via a special hose up the rectum and washing the thing out ... needless to say when they shat it was VILE and this person had a jelly like substance which was like a dead animal rotting .... my partner in crime that night, the new guy had to open the ward windows otherwise he would have keeled over from the vile evil wickedness of the air that night which came from this persons shitter!

I have used a shower head up my anus to clean out the shit which works great. Cotton buds are also nice for a sensitive bum hole :) I know DLD likes Lavender oil rubbed into his, not its not me but a Spanish maid whom has that 'delight'.
 
Well, I got arrested today for trying to wash my ass in the local water fountain:)
 
DLD takes his hygiene very serious and as most of us do so having a smelly anus isn't good is it? some guys like it licked for example (I'm not one of those).
I dont care if this thread makes it to 3 pages because its a serious subject matter that obviously wont be discussed in open places (I have never talked about it :) )

A tip for others I have found is to shave your arse hole with a really good sharp razor. I use a cut throat, different blades to the one for face and balls of course :) Do it in front of those large mirrors if you can on the floor so you can see better. What this does is remove all the hair and prevent your anus from sweating, which is a nuisance in summer and why people scratch it allot!

Something else is you wont get unpleasant smells from your arse with it shaved. Must be like a B.O under the armpits. I'm deadly serious guys and not being filthy because I do this and I aint weird either. I have noticed better hygiene from it, much better.
 
MAXAMEYES;429319 said:
If they saw yer dick, what was the charge? Bigamy?
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Nah, they got me for Buggery:) WHile I was on the water fountain my penis accidentally slipped into a passing by horse!
 
I wasn't going to ever bring this up probably but I think this thread is just right on. I encourage the use of the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] while doing the kah-kah, because it is a great way to reverse kegel and get maximum expansion in the tube. I'm not really joking if you do do the doo while wearing the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] it helps make the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] get a better fit.

REDZULU2003;429269 said:
Did you know about Mike liking the Lavender oil? would you do him the honours?
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Only if I get to do it wearing a maid's uniform.
 
Turnover;429095 said:
If you take fiber on a regular basis you can avoid this kind of shit.
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That is a fact. It pretty much settles any bowel issues you might have. Just make sure you drink plenty of water, or you'll feel like you have a stone turd pushing out of your anus and it will hurt :P
 
doublelongdaddy;428570 said:
I am convinced that rubbing shit into your ass using toilet paper causes disease, how could it not? Wash your ass after you shit!
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I agree 100%. You guys would be absolutely amazed at my hygiene. I take a shower after EVERY SHIT! Oh man, that was fun during my 6kcalorie bulking phase last year.
 
REDZULU2003;428747 said:
Simply get a cloth and wash your Anus with it, is that so hard? No big deal but this issue doesnt need making large. If people dont wash their shitter than they wont die from that. Mike (DLD) what you should be more worried about is your COLON and detox every 6 months because that is a place where allot of disease stars with 80% of Autopsy having problems in the colon.

When you detox with the relevant applications you shit strange stuff out that has been inside you for yonks. So washing your hairy shit hole doesnt matter in so much you need to get the real shit out of you or get a hose pipe and ram it up your ass and switch on to swill out the bowel and fart it all out.
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Your language is hilarious, and what you said is so true.

Colonic Hydrotherapy is the word mate.

Also, pure water fasting, candida cleanse, and parasite cleanses are important.

Going in for a colonoscopy myself in a couple weeks to get things checked out (I am only 25). Colon cancer runs in the family so I want to be safe early.
 
Some good points here. I think someone should post a good routine for cleansing.
 
Well a colon cleanse is a really great idea if someone has never gotten one. They are fairly inexpensive from online or a health food store, even some regular grocery stores. What it is is basically like supplements you take daily for approximately 2 weeks. Over years and years and years your intestine becomes stored with matter that never fully breaks down and it stores inside of your abdomen for sometimes decades! When you take the supplements designed to break up this toxic waste in your body it flushes itself out of your system and a really nice side effect is your midsection of your belly decreases:) I have heard you can get this build up inside of you from even just taking Aspirin; ever... Well, this is all fine and well and all but you want to have a regular healthy diet regardless afterwards and any time in life. This will keep bowl movements at the correct function which is after each meal by medical standards but I have experienced once first thing in the morning is all that is needed for the entire day, sometimes depending on meals only one other time for the day. I take a regular dose of Flax Seed Oil supplements this is for my other supplements and it also keeps the fluids dismissed. I also occasionally take a diet pill called Abdominal Cuts and this works similarly flushing out fat of my system. This is all fantastic but without a healthy diet it is all relatively useless as it will all replace itself in a short period of time. The good thing about eating healthy and using these supplements is you feel healthy almost always, getting sick less, and having lots of energy, including thinking clearer, passing gas does not smell dreadful, and the best is your ass is not full of shit, bowl movements are normal, and your anus will be a healthier color than dark and stained from an unhealthy lifestyle.

Of course I have lived an unhealthy lifestyle in my lifetime and I have heard you can bleach your anus if you want to lighten it up which is probably what some pornstars do when they have such beautiful and pink assholes. I was thinking to use the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98 ]Bathmate[/words] as a like a douche lol eeeew, that is more a joke and not a recommendation of mine but if someone were to experiment with please let us know how it goes.
 
REDZULU2003;430061 said:
You cant leave it at that :) Provide more info and links if possible
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HaHaHaHa, that is all I know!!
I Googled and this was first one I found http://www.bleachbum.com/anal-bleaching-techniques.html, I was going to do this with the rest of my treatments when I was planning on doing adult entertainment, but now I will just have to wait until I have a mate to help do it for me, since adult entertainment stars are such dirty sluts!
 
Turnover;430086 said:
HaHaHaHa, that is all I know!!
I Googled and this was first one I found http://www.bleachbum.com/anal-bleaching-techniques.html, I was going to do this with the rest of my treatments when I was planning on doing adult entertainment, but now I will just have to wait until I have a mate to help do it for me, since adult entertainment stars are such dirty sluts!
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Why the fuck would someone bleach their butthole? Maybe some of those over-abused, adult entertainment whores. I think after they get fucked in the ass enough their butt hole starts to look used up and abused. Dirty hoes!
 
doublelongdaddy;430101 said:
Why the fuck would someone bleach their butthole? Maybe some of those over-abused, adult entertainment whores. I think after they get fucked in the ass enough their butt hole starts to look used up and abused. Dirty hoes!
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LoL
 
WOW I have seen it all now. Bleaching shitters ay! Now if that closet skank ho Rihanna started bleaching her turd bucket, every cunt would want a pink rosy arse hole right? Just needs one to make this 'IT' :) Bleaching arseholes ... who'd have believed it. Maybe just MAYBE this is the way guys with dark dicks from clamping and other methods could go? those ingredients, could they work for bleaching a cock? or would it look so pink it be like porky!

What would happen if this was applied to the skin accidentally? worse case scenario you are dark skinned and end up with what look like milk stained pathes around your fucking butt cheeks for Christ sakes!!! how the fuck do you explain this? and in the changing rooms what a cunt you would look like, more so if your black skinned with white pathes on your arse ... looking like a dairy cow almost and the guys would have every right me thinks to tell you get the fuck out that changing room dirty mutha fucka.
 
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