Hey, gang! I'm recovering nicely and even skipped the pain pill tonight without too much discomfort. I am an "all-natural" guy and don't want to be a pill-popping addict. I'm a little sore and my stomach's a little woogy, but I prefer to be clear-headed.
What happened was this: Sometime last week (I forget what night it was) I was moving things in the shop around. I decided I was going to move the big metal cabinet that holds all our cds and dvds to the other side of the store by myself. I'm a big man, so I put my back to this probably 800 lb cabinet and started shoving. I had to bounce it a few times with my back to get it to move and I guess that's when I did the damage. Not as young as I used to be...
Saturday was busy so we ordered pizza after close, which I ate with heaps of jalapeno peppers. About 1 am, I was talking to my son in my office and was like, "Ooh, belly's feeling funny..." About 5 am, I was in the shitter, screaming, "Damn those peppers!" At 10 am Sunday morning, I told my wife to take me to the emergency room.
I was in some serious pain. The ER staff treated me like I was a big baby as I screamed and moaned in pain. They nevertheless took x-rays, a cat scan, blood work, and urine and stool samples, and they ran some fluids in me via a roughly placed IV that left a very large and swollen bruise. I got several different pain medications and a shot in the ass as we waited there about 12 hours for the results. The doctor finally strolled in to say that everything was normal. I probably had gas or needed to have a good
Bathmate. Haha! Like I was faking all the heavy breathing and howls of agony. I wanted to kick him in his smirky face!
Went home. Wife gave me some gas medicine and made me drink a bottle of some citrus laxative. Spent the rest of Sunday night and Monday morning screaming with the raging shits and still having these convulsive, painful spasms in my right flank and back. It felt like being stabbed with a big butcher knife that was also wired to electric current. All Monday I laid in bed as still as possible, but every time I moved, it would spasm, which made me yell and clench, which would set off more spasms.
Tuesday we went to a different hospital. After about 14 hours there-- all the same tests and shots and smirky attitude-- the doctor finally strolled in and announced, "Well, we know what it is. You have a ruptured spleen." He then proceded to tell me that I couldn't possibly be in so much pain from it and gave me some pain medicine and sent me home to rest.
I kind of lost track of time then. I spent the night trying to control the spasms and not be such a baby about it. Jedi mind power. Ended up back at the ER due to fever and shortness of breath. I couldn't eat and I guess I was just getting wore down. Perturbed, the doctor admitted me and consequently put me through hell-- out of revenge, I guess. IVs, bloodwork every 8 hours, this thing on my legs to "keep me from getting bloodclots" that inflated and deflated. They put me in a bed that kind of swelled up around me, which made the spasms worse cause I had to fight it to move around. The nursing staff was annoyed if I asked for anything. I was NPO and not even allowed to suck on a rag to wet my mouth. Believe me or not, during the night I even got sexually fondled by a nurse. I swear, she came in to dope my IV and actually grabbed and rubbed my dick! I was pretty drugged out already, but I know what happened... My wife had gone home earlier to rest, and finally I had had enough and started yelling out the door for them to call her and get me out of there...which they did not do. They just shut my door.
My wife got there the next afternoon (after I had had more cat scans) and I made her peel those fucking inflatie things off my legs and get me out of that bed into a chair. The doc finally idled by at around 3 pm and said they were going to keep me one more night for observation, but it didn't appear that I was bleeding internally and would heal okay if I took it easy for a couple weeks but I was like, "Fuuuuuuuuck thaaaaat! I'm leaving today, so you might as well take this iv out! I'd rather lay in my own bed and scream. At least I'll have a better nurse." (That got me a very nice IV removal, let me tell you, my arm is still swollen)
AND THESE ARE THE Penis EnlargementOPLE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO TRUST AND BELIEVE WITHOUT QUESTION...??? HAHAHA!!!
If there are any med students out there reading this, please believe someone when they say they are in pain. People generally are not fakers or big babies. Unless you're in it for the money, I guess. Then I'd say you're going into the right business for it. I can't wait to see the hospital bills for all that needless BS.
