i need advise

Well the other night me and my g/f of 8 and a half months were messing around....we are both virgins and want to stay that way til marriage....we were both sober for the first time while messing around so i thought it was kinda special.....granted this is the 4th time we have hooked up like this

Anyways....me start messing around.....me playing with her tiits, licking/sucking/biting her nipples, petting each other and making out of course.

So i go down on her first.....i was doin this for about 10-15 min and had he squirming....so i thought i was doing pretty good.

So i get done with her and well first she makes me go rince my mouth out before we make out some more......so we are amking out....i take off my boxers hoping to get some oral....we are making out and she is jacking my dick.....i lay down on my back beside her (note the whole time we were messing around she didn't move from laying on her back) and she continues to jack my dick....i let her go for another 3 min or so and tell her to stop....she asks why....I tell her that she is hurting me and being too aggressive.....she was grabing too far down on my shaft, gripping too hard and pulling up way to far.....i would have started to bleed before i would have nutted

So i tell her that if she kisses it would make it better....giving her a hint.....then she says....i don't do that, i find it repulsive, nasty....I am like....are you serious?.....she tells me she has never done that before....and i tell her that i have never ate a girl out except her (which is the truth)....i tell her stuff like....what i did to you isn't nasty but giving me a blow job is....not is a mad tone just a normal question tone.....she says....but you pee out of it.....and I laugh and say....and what do you do out of yours....she says but girls wipe and guys don't....i don't know if she is just scared or what

Anyways....i try to teach her how to jack me off how i do.....so i will get something out of it....nothing was working.....so i didn't get my nut

Then i ask her the next day if she has ever gave a guy a hand job and she says yes....and i asked if they nutted....she says yes but what does that matter....I say i was just wondering and I must just be different

She continued to ask me if i was getting closer to cumming when she was doing that to me and i wasn't.....and she is like....why does it take so long....I said i am just like that and that she would appreciate that later down the road....she said true.

See like when i jack off to �naked people movies� it will take me like at least 30-45 min to cum unless i am trying to get a quicky...I try not to rush it so maybe it would help me in my sex life later down the road

Well know it is long but that is it....any comments?

Well i guess so... Many people say their prob with cumming to quickly comes from their youth, where they always had to jerk of fast as not to be caught. So why shouldn't it work the other direction... Well you'll see it when you had sex a few times

Humm, i always whipe of my dick after peeing. Finds it more clean that way.
That girl of yours seems to have sleeping on the biology lessons.
I think that, if one gives, you should get the same thing in return. Then its 50/50.

I have no idea how to cum faster, i guess it is different from mano a mano.

hopful said:

Well i guess so... Many people say their prob with cumming to quickly comes from their youth, where they always had to jerk of fast as not to be caught. So why shouldn't it work the other direction... Well you'll see it when you had sex a few times

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Yea that is what i heard and that s why now that I am at college and have my own room i just lock the door and take my time.....she will be happy in the end

she said she felt bad cause i didn't get anything out of it......and i asked her if she had a orgasm and when i was going down on here and she said she doesn't know....she can never tell....whiich basically means no....and said that lots girls can only cum when they are actually having sex.....which means double no

GhosT_DoGG said:

Humm, i always whipe of my dick after peeing. Finds it more clean that way.
That girl of yours seems to have sleeping on the biology lessons.
I think that, if one gives, you should get the same thing in return. Then its 50/50.

I have no idea how to cum faster, i guess it is different from mano a mano.

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I find that if i want to have a quicky....if i just squeeze my PC muscle alot i can cum alot quicker.....

I do agree with the giving and recieving thing but i somewhat understand if she hasn't done it anymore....atleast she tried by jacking me off.....she needs practice at that though

Holy shit I've been in your exact position before. She ended up not wanting to do anythign anymore and we broke up a year later. What a miserable time. Now I just do the old women lol

mvalley,

Sorry, bud, but she sounds kind of selfish and insensitive. After eating her pie, she should have at least tried to give you a sucking off. Instead she was all "eww, nasty!" and you took it. Man, don't start off like that. I have always hated women like that. Try a few more times, but if she won't suck it, you ought to dump her! I apologize for sounding like a bastard, but a gal that won't suck a dick is not going to do alot of things, and you are going to be in for a long and dull sex life if you ever get hitched. My suggestion is, next time, have her lay on your chest and jack you off with the lights on. Make sure she knows you've cleaned good. Let her watch it and toy with it and get an eyeful. If it's still a no-go after that, I'd find a girl that liked sucking dick! The honest truth is, a dick has less germs than her mouth does, so screw that "dirty dick" shit. It's just an excuse!

Honestly, if you're waiting to have sex when you're married, you shouldn't be fooling around anyway. Oral sex is sex, no matter how you cut, play with it, or rationalize it. I'd give her time. I'd stop messing around period, because she does not seem comfortable with it. If she doesn't know if she had an orgasm then that means she's got apprehension or a hang up about something you are both doing, could be her conscience. I have had friends of mine say things similar to this, and it never surprises after they break up she tells me she wasn't really at all comfortable doing anything, but she felt obligated because he was her boyfriend. Sex can mess a relationship up, and very quickly at that. Just be patient, all things come in God's time. Save it for that one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. Then it has deeper meaning that just a "feel" good moment.

kong1971 said:

mvalley,

Sorry, bud, but she sounds kind of selfish and insensitive. After eating her pie, she should have at least tried to give you a sucking off. Instead she was all "eww, nasty!" and you took it. Man, don't start off like that. I have always hated women like that. Try a few more times, but if she won't suck it, you ought to dump her! I apologize for sounding like a bastard, but a gal that won't suck a dick is not going to do alot of things, and you are going to be in for a long and dull sex life if you ever get hitched. My suggestion is, next time, have her lay on your chest and jack you off with the lights on. Make sure she knows you've cleaned good. Let her watch it and toy with it and get an eyeful. If it's still a no-go after that, I'd find a girl that liked sucking dick! The honest truth is, a dick has less germs than her mouth does, so screw that "dirty dick" shit. It's just an excuse!

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OK.....obviously you are looking to get into a relationship for the wrong reasons by the way your talking......I am in love with this girl.....and i believe she is the one i will be spending the rest of my life with.....if she hasn't given head before i can deal with that....i understand where she might be scared or whatever......she said one day....and i will wait for that one day

millionman said:

Honestly, if you're waiting to have sex when you're married, you shouldn't be fooling around anyway. Oral sex is sex, no matter how you cut, play with it, or rationalize it. I'd give her time. I'd stop messing around period, because she does not seem comfortable with it. If she doesn't know if she had an orgasm then that means she's got apprehension or a hang up about something you are both doing, could be her conscience. I have had friends of mine say things similar to this, and it never surprises after they break up she tells me she wasn't really at all comfortable doing anything, but she felt obligated because he was her boyfriend. Sex can mess a relationship up, and very quickly at that. Just be patient, all things come in God's time. Save it for that one woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. Then it has deeper meaning that just a "feel" good moment.

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My def of sex is Vaginal penetration with a penis....and that is it
I am in this relationship for alot more reasons than her giving me head....if she deosn't want to that is fine for now....she will one day....we will start off with a hand job and go from there.

Uhhhhh...then why post this experience if you don't want feedback...? I have actually been faithfully and happily married for 10 years, kiddo. Why? Because our sex life is awesome! Without great sex, no marriage is going to last. That's just a fact of life. We are sexual beings, and sometimes the only way to deal with the stress and grind of daily life is to cuddle up to your sweet, sexy wife and get some TLC. Another fact of life is that people never ever change. If she thinks its gross and repulsive now, chances are she's always going to think that. If she is a selfish lover, she is always going to be a selfish lover...and if you are content to wait for her to come around, you're going to be doing the same thing 20 years from now...Just my opinion tho. I'm usually full of shit!

Oh...and sex is more than just vaginal penetration. Any time one or the other of you is getting your naughty parts stimulated, you're having sex.

Amen Kong.

kong1971 said:

Uhhhhh...then why post this experience if you don't want feedback...? I have actually been faithfully and happily married for 10 years, kiddo. Why? Because our sex life is awesome! Without great sex, no marriage is going to last. That's just a fact of life. We are sexual beings, and sometimes the only way to deal with the stress and grind of daily life is to cuddle up to your sweet, sexy wife and get some TLC. Another fact of life is that people never ever change. If she thinks its gross and repulsive now, chances are she's always going to think that. If she is a selfish lover, she is always going to be a selfish lover...and if you are content to wait for her to come around, you're going to be doing the same thing 20 years from now...Just my opinion tho. I'm usually full of shit!

Oh...and sex is more than just vaginal penetration. Any time one or the other of you is getting your naughty parts stimulated, you're having sex.

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Your right....people will never change,,,i should know that.....no one can change......I will dump this girl of 9 months who i love and who loves me and who is the coolest girl i know and go get a slutwho will suck my cock now and fall in love with her and marry her....even though all she wants me for is my cock...that's what i will do....thanks, Pops

All i am saying is I have never said anything to this girl about giving me head......then i do ask her and turns out she has never done it before and is scared to do so at the moment....remember...she said one day she will.....And i love her enough to wait for that day.....does that make me a pussy or something?

Chill out, buddy! :D Your original post made her sound like a bitch. You guys are fooling around for the 1st time sober. You eat her out. She makes you rinse your mouth. She beats you off like a gorilla, almost making your dick bleed. Then she won't return the favor, cause she says your dick is repulsive. Then she bitches cause she jacked you off too long and you didn't nut!

Now you say she is a sweet little virgin who was just scared of your pee pee the first time she saw it.

Which story is it?

I'm no asshole. I give advice (which you asked for) based only on what I read. I was not there. I'm sorry I offended you, and I am glad you love your gal and will wait for her to get up the courage to be more intimate with you. The picture you painted with words in your original post was not very flattering of her, and I responded to that on your behalf. Now you say it was mainly your fault and you sprang it on her kind of suddenly. Big difference.

If she is willing but inexperienced and a little afraid, the only thing you can do is ease her into a more intimate sexual relationship. Be honest with her about what you want, but don't beg or coerce her, because the last thing you want is for her to feel as if she has been physically or psychologically forced into doing something against her will. She'll hate you for it. What you have to do is communicate your desires while letting her know that it is perfectly fine for her to say no.

You: "I really want you to kiss me down there."

Her: "Eeww, gross! I kinda want to but I'm scared."

You: "That's okay...is there anything you want me to do to you? Just tell me. I won't think bad of you. I just want us to be totally open and honest with each other about our needs and desires!"

Her: "Really? Oh, you're just the best!"

If this advice pisses you off, I don't know what to tell you, except that you need to make up your mind whether she's a good girl or a bitch, because you paint her both ways.

kong1971 said:

Chill out, buddy! :D Your original post made her sound like a bitch. You guys are fooling around for the 1st time sober. You eat her out. She makes you rinse your mouth. She beats you off like a gorilla, almost making your dick bleed. Then she won't return the favor, cause she says your dick is repulsive. Then she bitches cause she jacked you off too long and you didn't nut!

Now you say she is a sweet little virgin who was just scared of your pee pee the first time she saw it.

Which story is it?

I'm no asshole. I give advice (which you asked for) based only on what I read. I was not there. I'm sorry I offended you, and I am glad you love your gal and will wait for her to get up the courage to be more intimate with you. The picture you painted with words in your original post was not very flattering of her, and I responded to that on your behalf. Now you say it was mainly your fault and you sprang it on her kind of suddenly. Big difference.

If she is willing but inexperienced and a little afraid, the only thing you can do is ease her into a more intimate sexual relationship. Be honest with her about what you want, but don't beg or coerce her, because the last thing you want is for her to feel as if she has been physically or psychologically forced into doing something against her will. She'll hate you for it. What you have to do is communicate your desires while letting her know that it is perfectly fine for her to say no.

You: "I really want you to kiss me down there."

Her: "Eeww, gross! I kinda want to but I'm scared."

You: "That's okay...is there anything you want me to do to you? Just tell me. I won't think bad of you. I just want us to be totally open and honest with each other about our needs and desires!"

Her: "Really? Oh, you're just the best!"

If this advice pisses you off, I don't know what to tell you, except that you need to make up your mind whether she's a good girl or a bitch, because you paint her both ways.

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Kong,
Sorry for the confusion....after i read over it i did realize i did make her sound like 2 different people....so lets try this again....

She wasn't a bitch about it at all.....she was just curious....she jacked my dick for all of 5 min...and she wasn't doing a good job and i was trying to show her how to no success.....so i was just like stop cause i am not getting anywhere.....then when i tell her to use her mouth she just simply said she doesn't do that.....she has never done that.....and she finds it nasty....she wasn't calling just my dick nasty...she was talking about all of them.....and she said one day she will do it but she isn't ready for it now.....I was just more ready than she was.....so we just cuddled and spooned naked and went to bed

I liek what you are saying about easing her into it....that has been my plan all along....and I like that whole dialalog thing you did....sounds like a good idea

It is just the girl is real inexperienced and needs practice...and i will allow as much time as she wants...I am not going to be forceful....that is the last thing i would ever want to do on a girl....makes it sound like rape to me which is one of the things i hate most in this world

Sorry for the responce kong...I take it all back....You have given some great advise that i will use in the future...thanks alot

kong1971 said:

mvalley,

Sorry, bud, but she sounds kind of selfish and insensitive. After eating her pie, she should have at least tried to give you a sucking off. Instead she was all "eww, nasty!" and you took it. Man, don't start off like that. I have always hated women like that. Try a few more times, but if she won't suck it, you ought to dump her! I apologize for sounding like a bastard, but a gal that won't suck a dick is not going to do alot of things, and you are going to be in for a long and dull sex life if you ever get hitched. My suggestion is, next time, have her lay on your chest and jack you off with the lights on. Make sure she knows you've cleaned good. Let her watch it and toy with it and get an eyeful. If it's still a no-go after that, I'd find a girl that liked sucking dick! The honest truth is, a dick has less germs than her mouth does, so screw that "dirty dick" shit. It's just an excuse!

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Ha, you're a pig! This cracks me up.. obviously you must have a lot of physicality in your relationships and nothing meaningful. I once dated a guy, a guy I consider my first love, and we didn't even kiss for the first 3 months of our relationship. We established a connection, not a physical or superficial bond. I almost feel bad for you. If the girl's not ready, she's not ready. Respect her if you really care for her.

IHaveAVagina said:

Ha, you're a pig! This cracks me up.. obviously you must have a lot of physicality in your relationships and nothing meaningful.

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Hey, Kongs a big guy....can you blame him for slapping his wife around a little :D jk....

But yeah, this is different than you and your man not kissing....this guy ate her pussy, and she didnt return the favor....

Thats a no-no in my mind, and for this crime in some countries women are tied to horses and dragged through the streets, hit with a mace, and pelted with beets :s

IHaveAVagina said:

Ha, you're a pig! This cracks me up.. obviously you must have a lot of physicality in your relationships and nothing meaningful. I once dated a guy, a guy I consider my first love, and we didn't even kiss for the first 3 months of our relationship. We established a connection, not a physical or superficial bond. I almost feel bad for you. If the girl's not ready, she's not ready. Respect her if you really care for her.

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Hee hee hee...honey, I have been happily married for ten years. My wife would tell you that I am the most wonderful man in the world. Why? Because I bring her flowers every day and kiss her ass all day long? Nope. Because I am HONEST and I am MYSELF.

Time to grow up, Vagina. Romance gets you through about two years. Three or four tops. Honesty and being yourself gets you through a lifetime.

If, by physicality, you are implying I beat my wife, then you are quite wrong there as well. I would KILL someone to protect my woman, but I would never touch her in anger or deliberately hurt her.

Communication is the key to having a strong relationship. If you are too scared to tell your gal that you need your dick sucked, then you are not going to get it sucked...and then you are going to resent both not getting it sucked and not being able to discuss with this other person your needs.

Do you communicate with your special someone? Do you allow him to be open and honest with you? Do you see him for the real person he is or the person you think he should be?

A long term relationship is a fucking war, not a holiday, and I want someone I can trust to cover my back. If there is not honesty (and I mean realistic, impolite, sometimes unkind honesty) there is no trust.

If you punish your man psychologically for being honest about his most intimate and vulnerable sexual desires, do you really expect him to be able to discuss any other matter with you honestly?

If you want to be married to a woman, be a lesbian.

If you like men, then you have to realize that we are all horndogs.

Kong...as usual you present a good point...You have to communicate HONESTLY...it can't be this beating around the bush umm ohh ummm I kind of need...well you get my drift...You have to be open and honest with each other, and if it can't be that way then it's not going to work out...When I think about what kind of relationship I desire more than anything it's an honest one, where everything is out on the table, and yes I can be sweet and loving all I want to be, but at the same time I will stand for what I believe in and will not be walked all over just to "satisfy" my counterpart on a whim... Relationships are fun but they are also a lot of work...and the man must be the leader in the relationship otherwise it is doomed to fail....why??? Because as a woman they will get bored and leave because of the wussy needy behavior of the man...Women want strength in their men, but also a gentle spirit... 1 Corinthians 13:4 is a perfect depictrion of Love as it is a description of God, God's love, but also our love for that one person that we would call husband or wife...I want to be able to protect and provide for my wife when the time comes, and that is why I wait so that I will be prepared for that future...and to grow into the man the Lord desires me to be...

kong1971 said:

Time to grow up, Vagina.

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That line made me chuckle. :D

I agree with most of what both of you are saying (Vagina and Kong). Having been dating the same girl for 4 years (and now engaged), it's been made clear that romance isn't the ticket. It's still nice to have, but it's most definitely not going to hold together a relationship. I can be exactly who I am and say exactly what I think without fear of what she'll think, even if I know we'll disagree. And vice versa. We're both completely open and honest with each other. Not to say it didn't take a lot of growing up to get to this point. But the flip side, like Vagina was saying, is that I haven't had sex or done oral or anything like that with her. I think most guys here put way more focus on the sex and not enough on the actual relationship (not you Kong, generally the not married/attached guys). I've never had sex, but I seriously doubt it's as fulfilling as having a wonderful relationship. And I know that since we've built such a foundation, that the sex is going to be way more meaningful. But also, Vagina, that doesn't mean that I don't want to get it on like mad. It's tough to restrain ourselves. :D Guys are really all horndogs.

I am starting to wonder why IHaveAVagina is here. She doesn't even kiss a dude for 3 months? This is a forum for discussing mainly penis enlargement and I'm not sure or not, but it sounds like you have never even seen one or touched one.

I think you just like being surrounded by a bunch of males and chatting with us.

As for the no head situation. Fuck that dude. What a stuck up bizatch. Girls that are too good to suck dick are lamo. You better not give her any man. That just isn't right. Most of the time girls will not get off from oral if they have not had sex for a while. Most girls that I've heard anyways. Mine was the same.

I feel you on not getting off from the hand job. My g/f of almost 5 years never has successfully got me off from one. <_<