TreasureHunter;575397 said:
I can understand why his girlfriend would be upset. When you think you know everything about your partner and you accidentally discover something about them that you weren't even looking for, it feels like that partner was living a double life and misleading you the entire time.
Yes, I can see your point here, however, I'm failing to see the validity in
only practicing P.E. in a non-secretive way to remedy situations like these! What, are we obligated to tell all our partners about P.E. on the first, second, third date? That'd be like a woman having sex with you to discover you have a tiny penis, you just don't know until you get down there, or until you really start to get to know your partner very well. There's no right answer obviously and each situation will be different. So, the cats out of the bag now. I mean, there are endless discussions on whether we should explain P.E. to our partners and family, or not. I strongly believe we have the right to do P.E. and keep it private without feeling guilty about "leading a double life". I just don't fully buy that conception. If your partner isn't down with it, how does that
not make you question the mutuality of the relationship, or how future struggles may unfold and be resolved?
TreasureHunter;575397 said:
Shifting the blame from yourself to the "jealous women" with "insecurities" for discovering the truth about you sounds manipulative and dishonest, as if you don't want to admit that you have a problem so it must be their fault. This is abusive behavior.
Well, what do you define as a problem then? In my mind, I have no problems when it comes to my P.E. practices. �����������, I can understand because it has been proven to negatively affect the mental and physical well being, especially if explored excessive. Also, how does having a jealous and insecure partner suddenly relate to the other person being manipulative and dishonest? I don't believe we're doing anything "wrong" by P.E.ing, and frankly P.E. is very mental, so having someone break you down can play a negative role in self-confidence, self-esteem, individuality, and most of all your goals and gains! I think the real issue is the ���� addiction, as some women would take personal offense.
TreasureHunter;575397 said:
I think what he's doing shows that he actually cares about/loves his girlfriend if he's willing to admit he may have done something to upset her and is trying to fix that mistake, treating her like a person rather than as some nobody. Most people just do shitty things to you and then "move on" with their life and expect you to do the same, as if you weren't just betrayed. Maybe his relationship is worth more than ����������� and the internet.
Solid point, and that's the other side of it. I agree, if he feels like he has to make amends somehow and start to be open and honest, because he absolutely loves his GF and the relationship means more than his P.E., then go ahead by all means let it ruin your P.E. endeavors. (Or not, and keep being secretive and dishonest). Also, moving on isn't so bad. I believe, if you're with someone and it starts to go downward and things become irreconcilable or just straight nasty in terms of trust and anger/abuse, then get out! It's more respectful to take a walk down another avenue when things start going into the gutter. It's healthier for both.
TreasureHunter;575397 said:
On the other hand, I'm not sure if deleting your account is going to do much. All of your posts will still be here, your name will still be there. What people don't understand is that they leave a trail of evidence behind everywhere they go, and if she does find this account she's going to see "I'm still here, I'm just gonna start a new account" which will lead to more trust issues. Maybe the better thing to do would be asking for your current account name to be changed to something else so she doesn't look for your user name.
This is the point I was trying to make. Coming here to
MOS is great because you can bounce things off the brotherhood and get solid feedback. Now I'd have to agree that the original cry for account deletion and anonymity is exactly how I'd feel if I was "caught" doing something I felt was wrong. However, yes you're at a crossroads, and like I mentioned before, you have to judge your relationship for yourself and decide whether it's worth having to "keep secrets" and "abuse" your partner (per say) or shrug it off, do P.E. and talk to your girl and try to explain what it's all about, and give a real strong representation about your feelings and what drives you to do these things. You have emotions too, right?
The only thing I can absolutely understand is that women, especially, can make a man feel crappy about themselves because they in turn actually feel crappy about
themselves. It's a vicious cycle. Anyway, we've all been different places and experienced different things and that's why were here! In this life! Please don't let your future become admissible only through a simulacrum of sincerity. Hope this gives you something to think about, OP.
