Same, that’s one of the reason why I couldn’t stay consistent on PE I always wanted to get high or buzzed from nic and weed, started doing shrooms got addicted and had this one bad trip I thought I was gonna stay brain dead forever started to feel like killing myself didn’t feel like living that day I somehow drove back home told my mom everything she helped me, was praying for me and crying I was losing my mind shortly after 2 hours often resisting killing myself because my mind was in abyss ( don’t know if you guys know how it feels to lose your mind ) I only took 1.3 g, my senses came back my long distance girlfriend broke up with me after telling her I was quitting everything ( 3rd time I told her I was done with everything I think she was over it ) it’s like everything that was bad for me left my life 2 weeks ago. The relationship the drugs the people I stopped cold turkey knowing I will get better and even if I didn’t I will keep fighting til death. now everything is slowly getting better my dopamine system was fucked up cause of the smoking nic and weed, I couldn’t do anything without doing that first, Now is different I got this fire in me always had it but was to weak to let it out like a caged animal. I work at a 7/11 so I see fucked up people all the time how these vices ruin them I really didn’t want that to be me cause I knew deep down I was greater I had potential to do great like every great person, started saying to myself just one more day one more high one more hit turned into months years I’m 21 right now I don’t want it to be a problem for me a decade from now. I had to admit to myself that I’m not a functioning smoker some people can smoke and be cool but every person is different, I had a couple temptations but I know I’m stronger without it. The day I took the shrooms I knew it wasn’t going to be a good day cause I wished it upon myself I was gonna end it all ( as in this bad lifestyle I had with addiction and not progressing in life ) I know it’s only been 2 weeks but everyday it gets better I didn’t have any good role models in my life but Im starting to think like I’m gonna be that role model, all my friends smoke weed and nic and snort meth best feeling is saving a friend really but that starts with you. Lead by example. I know it’s just nicotine and weed people have it worst trust me I know em they’re so deep into the shit it’s like they’re blind the light is filled with darkness that’s what the devil wants til you can’t take it no more and blow your head off these vices end up taking control of your life ( this is the for the people that smoke and know deep down they don’t perform at their highest potential when they smoke) like I said they’re functioning addicts out there as they say, the truth will always be hidden cause their ego gets the best of them, you really get to see the real in people when you start being truthful as it seems when I show all my cards with no fear, I’m saying all of this cause I know it can help a brother out everyday it will get better just make sure you’re being productive and know the reason why you quit smoking in the first place. the benefits outweighs the cons. Just for a 2 minute buzz or a high for what, when you sober up you start to realize a lot of things. Yessirr hanging weights off my dick while typing this, get this work in brothers even when you don’t feel like it. God bless 💯👍🏼
