Heartbroken...

[Zambrodom3]

Hey boys! I am back, I have been abcent for 3 weeks now, but I have my reasons. My story is long, but I would try to keep it as short as possible. I am here to hear what you think and to hear what you would advise me to do. I am in a very shit situation and I do not know what to do....

I met this girl on facebook 2 months ago, on a group of the staff we are in now. We work for a party company in Sunny Beach (the wild horny drunk party sex of Bulgaria). Here we get LOTS of tourists coming only to drink like crazy and fuck like crazier. Girls, boys, everything is here to drink and fuck and nothing more....

We met on facebook and it did not take long for me to see how supportive and understanding she is. How good and kind she is. How much she cares about me and how much she is the 1st girl to ever make me feel like I am a full confident man. She was having hard times when we chatted, idiot me- I stayed awake, spent all my free time with her- showing her, telling her how much I support her, care about her, love her.... Even in her hardest times, when she was in pain and crying, shaking, begging for help- I still was there staying awake, spending ALL my free time with her instead of doing my own stuff. Time passed and we met a week ago, this must have been one of the worst weeks I have ever had in my life... I was standing there on the parties looking at how the one I loved, who had spent all her hard moments with me kissing and fucking random guys in front of me. I asked her "Why do you spend time with people who can only be with you in the best time of theirs- drunk and horny? It is the easiest to be with such a girl... why dont you spend time with the people who would be with you no matter what, no matter where or when. Is there something anyone else can give you that I cant?".... Her answer was "there is nothing you cant and they can give me". It was a deal we had made- no feelings, just friends with benefits, she is not the bad one, it is just my fault that I fell in love. But please brothers, tell me, help me- WHAT should I do??? I see the girl I love fucking my colleagues (the ones I see every day) like crazy, kissing them, fucking them in front of me and I still cant say anything about it cause that was the deal- NO FEELINGS. I am NO ONE to tell her who she can fuck or not- I am not her boyfriend or anything. This is her life and I want to put no limits on what she can and cant do- I dont have the right to do so... I am just a friend and nothing more. When she is drunk, she treats me like shit and treats everyone else nice.... when she is sober she has problems and I am the only one that would LOVE to spend his time with her helping her, making her smile... To me her smile means a LOT!!! We had sex a few times... she orgasmed 5 times, I orgasmed 1 time, cause she asked me to... The only orgasm I want is hers, the only smile I want to see is on her face, the only one I enjoy spending time with no matter how bad she feels is her.... and I only get a broken heart... An idiot I am for STILL giving my love to someone who only hurts me and breaks me every time I see her with someone else, but what can I do- people tell me- leave her, she is not for you, what are you doing with her, you can do MUCH better, you deserve MUCH better... and I know it, but my mind and my heart dont go along it seems...


To me brothers, you mean a lot, to me you are a family that I can give my love to and still get love back. Please, help me....

 

[pdguy]

Your only 21, you have your whole life yet to fall in love with a girl who can be
loyal to you if that is what you want. Push her out of your heart before she
kills you emotionally. Are you really in love with her or just in lust with her?

Your better than that, you don't need one girl dragging you down each day
By now you should have the confidence to go out and get the one you really
want because you really don't want her (watching her fuck other guys all
day) you really want to be loved back and she's not that type of girl.
Just ignore the bitch and go on with your life.

Hope this helps you, if not I will have to find you in person and knock
some sense into you. Good luck.

 

[wazedi]

I totaly understand you....i know you expecting to go for her and try.but that not easy.i actually understand you cause that remind me a lot my ex-girlfriend.i was in love him her smile.i was doing everything i could so i can make her happy.after sometime she loved me and she loved the way i was such a nice guy.but you know what?she was still a slutty bitch.and that was a challenge for me to change her,make her a better person.But when we start fighting about our relationship problems(we was 1.5 year together) she start fucking around again.i learn it and we broke up.it was one of my worst period of my life because i gave everything and took nothing back.but i guess thats how relationships work sometimes.i still feel some pain...one year after we break up but that bitch create a small monster.i dont care much about women's feeling that much.i dont know if that good or bad.when we break up i was so angry with me cause i knew she was like that.i could see it,and i was still there.i did nothing but still trying.anyway...my advice is stay away from her.from my experience you cant change a person when she never have the willing to change her self.the only thing i am glad for our breaking up is that she make me wanna make a huge cock.so everygirl i fuck will remember it!!!stay away from that pain.sometime you will learn something hillarious about her and you will stop thinking about her the same way STAY HARD DUDE

 

[Lightning]

Hello Zam, first off we missed you here brother and so happy to have you back. I was starting to wonder where you went.

I was once in your shoes. I messed around with many younger sluts, adult entertainment actresses and strippers looking for love in all the wrong places. I would do exactly what you are doing now. Spend all my time listening and supporting all their problems and giving them good advice, love, and entertaining and holding them. All this to find out I was just a side dude or a sugar daddy.

Just like I once was, it sounds like you are the nice, mushy, needy guy and most young immature girls don't want a nice guy, they want a bad boy or thug in the younger years of their life. You are going to have to get past this and find a more mature lady at least 28 years old or preferably early 30's who has got past the party and slut stages of her life and is not thinking about random cock everyday. You may be able to find a younger girl who has a kid already that settled down and matured faster from having and raising a kid. You are a mushy that got trapped with a slut and it happens to the best of us. I grew a steel heart due to this happening to me many times when I was younger that when I did meet good mature women that wanted to be a strong relationship with me, I ended up treating them like shit. It took many years for me to study women and girls and learn the game and learn how to love and fully trust the right person once I meet them and that didn't happened until a few years ago.

So my brother, I leave you with this. Find another lady to get over this one but look for someone mature and settled if that is what you want right now. It don't make no sense crying to her telling her how much you love her because that is a turn off to her and she will use you more and pull you in deeper. You are better off ignoring her and playing the bad boy that don't have time for her when she needs you. Then she will start missing you. Maybe even start showing up around her with some other really hot chicks or girlfriends of yours to make her see you don't need her. Maybe get some really hot chicks to start hitting you on Facebook so she see's that. Girls want boys that other girls want. At this age, it is all a game brother and you must know the game to get what you want. I wish you the best.

 

[Anthony78]

It's easy. You want what you can't have. I went through the same situation in 07. The best thing got you to do is ignore her and stay away from her. Girls like that are mentally unstable and she's playing games with you. Stay away from her for a month. Don't look at her don't talk to her and DO NOT MENTION HER TO ANYONE YOU WORK WITH. Then she will try to talk to you.

 

[DLD]

It's easy. You want what you can't have.

The number one cause of Heartbreak!

Zam, We love you here and you have the full support of the Brotherhood. You will be in my prayers.

 

[Disco Dave]

Hey Zam; I was 2 days away from starting a "Where The Heck IS Zam" thread. Lol. Iam not lying. Good to see you back. Now from the words of the ancient Romans. "You cant turn a hooker into a house wife" LoL. So simply fuck her in the ass and then smack that broad with a dirty,sweaty Flaccid Jackit and be done with her. If you dont have a Jackit, then you can use mine. Lol. But on a real note, Dont look at her. Look through her. She has no self respect and she cant learn that over night. Time is precious so dont waste yours. She will only become serious with you when she needs a father for her unborn baby that may not be yours. Semper Fi.

 

[DLD]

Hey Zam; I was 2 days away from starting a "Where The Heck IS Zam" thread.

Thumbs up for the LOVE this Brotherhood has!

 

[Lightning]

She will only become serious with you when she needs a father for her unborn baby that may not be yours. Semper Fi.

So fuckin true. In fact, one of the strippers I was fucking with that dragged me in deep ended up getting knocked up from someone else while I was with her. When I found out, she bragged on how he was going to take care of her and the unborn baby. That dude completely dissed her and left her hanging and then she tried to come back crawling and crying. By then I already met another chick I started getting serious with. The chick I was with was cool with me being in a polygamy relationship and the other girl that got knocked up was down with it as well. However I said fuck that hoe and left here hanging. She ended up moving back with her mom and got on welfare. She named the baby after me.

 

[DLD]

She named the baby after me.

Thoughtful Ho

 

[tef1]

Let her go Zam. You don't want someone who is fucking other guys in front of you. Find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

 

[DLD]

Let her go Zam. You don't want someone who is fucking other guys in front of you. Find someone who will treat you with the respect you deserve.

She is out there and she will be the one that gets you through this! Keep your head up Zam!

 

[Shenlong]

Wait, you had an agreement? Was this before or after your facebook chats because, if I'm reading this right, the agreement didn't come into the picture until you met IRL and, if so I have two questions:
1) Why did you agree to that?
2) Do you honestly think she's unaware of your inability to keep feelings out of it?

Unless I'm misinterpreting your post, she's using you.

 

[smerc]

What Anthony78 said + what LIGHTNING said about badboys.

Ignore her and whenever or if-ever she tries to get back to you, don't pay her as much attention as you used to (don't respond as quickly and respond less than she does to you).
This will show you how much you actually mean to her if she gets back to you or tries to pull you in closer.

If you're part of the circle of people that actually care about her and she sees you slipping away, but still doesn't do shit about it, then you know how much she is worth in that regard.


I have just recently, had a relative that always came to me for support, talking, and ETC. Only to have it go in one ear and out there other. My point, a lot of women in their younger ages are all the same.
Some people just want to use you as a sensitive outlet, while they fuck other dudes that don't give 2 shits about them.

You don't HAVE to be an alpha, but I would suggest you don't put up w/ peoples (women's) bullshit.

It was a deal we had made- no feelings, just friends with benefits, she is not the bad one, it is just my fault that I fell in love.

Yes. You fucked up. If you want exclusivity, then go for it. If this deal can't be made. Then settle for a new FWB as you're only digging yourself into an emotional hole.
You sound obsessed the girl, that's not good @ all.

 

[smerc]

Wait, you had an agreement? Was this before or after your facebook chats because, if I'm reading this right, the agreement didn't come into the picture until you met IRL and, if so I have two questions:
1) Why did you agree to that?
2) Do you honestly think she's unaware of your inability to keep feelings out of it?

Curious to know as well.

You almost made it seem like you thought she knew you, before she even met you.
As well he you saying you care about her and love her, before you even met her.
Hopefully this is not the case. I feel my sanity slipping away.

You also mentioned her fucking random guys in front of you. Do you mean literally? Or do you mean the process of guys gaming her and her leaving TO GET fucked by them.

 

[Disco Dave]

Originally Posted by LIGHTNING
She named the baby after me.

Thoughtful Ho

Now that is the funniest follow up I read all day. I almost spit my drink on my phone.

 

[Zambrodom3]

Thanks A LOT guys, thanks a LOT everyone- for the support and care. [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] is the 1 place I know I will never be heartbroken at . You are all right, we have talked a lot of facebook and her most honest answer to the question "what turns you on the most" was "what I can't have, I am not interested in guys I can have". I realize this CLEARLY. It is just hard to stay away... WAS hard, today I've been doing my job pretty well with her rofl.

The way it was- I have never been in love with a girl. When we started chatting SO much I started sharing my story with her (I've had some hard childhood etc.) and she was the only one person that made me feel supported. I, as a person need to know that someone out there needs me and cares about me (what she was like when she was sick), my heart is FULL of love and I just need to point it towards someone rofl. I fell in love with her over facebook, because she was the 1st person to need me, to care about me... WAS.

The reason on why I agreed on the friends with benefits is that I am NO ONE to tell her what to do. The 1st time she did this, she came to me being sorry. I looked at her and said- Do whatever you want, do whatever you like. This is your summer and just have fun, do whatever you feel like doing. I DONT want to force her doing something she does not want to.... I want her to FEEL that she wants me, I dont want to limit her. If she does not love me, then I am NO ONE to tell her what she should do, with who she should do.


Come to thinkof it- we are COMPLETELY different. I want a family with kids, I want to give all my love to something... she HATES children and does NOT want to get married... EVER. What actually got me into her was that she was the only girl to make me feel SPECIAL. The only 1 to make me feel like I am a full confident man (cause I am very shy rofl ).

Today is her birthday... last night (when her birthday started- after 00:00)- she saw I wanted to be with her, but for some reason she does not want to have sex with me as well. She is kissing people in front of me (I am SURE she did that to hurt me intentionally). 4 days ago I went to her and told her- is that what you want- not love, but people to treat you as a pieceof meat? If that is what you want- then this is what you will be to me as well! She got angry at this, cause she does not want this, but the way I see it is this ACTUALLY!!!! Last night I treated her like that- she started hitting me and pushing me. 4 guys were undressing her and licking her boobs, kissing her lips in front of me (less than a meter away from me). She was just laughing.... I made her a present today- one she would love and she loved BUT I did this just to let her see how nice I am and what she just LOST. From now on- I will not pay attention to her, cause she LOST ME. And guys- I dont want to have sex.... I want to make love. If I get another girl it would not be what I want, and if I ever fuck her- I would make LOVE to her. But that does not matter... FUCK HER!!!!!

I am infinitely thankful for ALL your support and advices, I read and FELT every comment!!!!!! This got me MOTIVATED, the other guys she fucks REGULARLY,EVERY night in front of me is 23 cm-er (9 incher)... (he looked like a 7.5, but he said it is 9... YEA RIGHT rofl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). This is just motivation to me, this is just what I need!!! It will be soon that I will be back with vengance- spamming posts, trying to help and get help. Now, I am going to the party and I will see her fucking people again, but this time I would be just laughing, thinking on how bitchy this slut can actually be! Cheers [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words]!!!! You are something MUCH more than a site to me... you are my FAMILY!!!!! I hug every single one of you and know that Zam's heart is full of love, specially for you ALL!

 

[Lightning]

Originally Posted by LIGHTNING
She named the baby after me.
Now that is the funniest follow up I read all day. I almost spit my drink on my phone.

True fucking story dudes.

 

[Lightning]

Thanks A LOT guys, thanks a LOT everyone- for the support and care. [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] is the 1 place I know I will never be heartbroken at . You are all right, we have talked a lot of facebook and her most honest answer to the question "what turns you on the most" was "what I can't have, I am not interested in guys I can have". I realize this CLEARLY. It is just hard to stay away... WAS hard, today I've been doing my job pretty well with her rofl.

The way it was- I have never been in love with a girl. When we started chatting SO much I started sharing my story with her (I've had some hard childhood etc.) and she was the only one person that made me feel supported. I, as a person need to know that someone out there needs me and cares about me (what she was like when she was sick), my heart is FULL of love and I just need to point it towards someone rofl. I fell in love with her over facebook, because she was the 1st person to need me, to care about me... WAS.

The reason on why I agreed on the friends with benefits is that I am NO ONE to tell her what to do. The 1st time she did this, she came to me being sorry. I looked at her and said- Do whatever you want, do whatever you like. This is your summer and just have fun, do whatever you feel like doing. I DONT want to force her doing something she does not want to.... I want her to FEEL that she wants me, I dont want to limit her. If she does not love me, then I am NO ONE to tell her what she should do, with who she should do.


Come to thinkof it- we are COMPLETELY different. I want a family with kids, I want to give all my love to something... she HATES children and does NOT want to get married... EVER. What actually got me into her was that she was the only girl to make me feel SPECIAL. The only 1 to make me feel like I am a full confident man (cause I am very shy rofl ).

Today is her birthday... last night (when her birthday started- after 00:00)- she saw I wanted to be with her, but for some reason she does not want to have sex with me as well. She is kissing people in front of me (I am SURE she did that to hurt me intentionally). 4 days ago I went to her and told her- is that what you want- not love, but people to treat you as a pieceof meat? If that is what you want- then this is what you will be to me as well! She got angry at this, cause she does not want this, but the way I see it is this ACTUALLY!!!! Last night I treated her like that- she started hitting me and pushing me. 4 guys were undressing her and licking her boobs, kissing her lips in front of me (less than a meter away from me). She was just laughing.... I made her a present today- one she would love and she loved BUT I did this just to let her see how nice I am and what she just LOST. From now on- I will not pay attention to her, cause she LOST ME. And guys- I dont want to have sex.... I want to make love. If I get another girl it would not be what I want, and if I ever fuck her- I would make LOVE to her. But that does not matter... FUCK HER!!!!!

I am infinitely thankful for ALL your support and advices, I read and FELT every comment!!!!!! This got me MOTIVATED, the other guys she fucks REGULARLY,EVERY night in front of me is 23 cm-er (9 incher)... (he looked like a 7.5, but he said it is 9... YEA RIGHT rofl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). This is just motivation to me, this is just what I need!!! It will be soon that I will be back with vengance- spamming posts, trying to help and get help. Now, I am going to the party and I will see her fucking people again, but this time I would be just laughing, thinking on how bitchy this slut can actually be! Cheers [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words]!!!! You are something MUCH more than a site to me... you are my FAMILY!!!!! I hug every single one of you and know that Zam's heart is full of love, specially for you ALL!

Zam how old are you?

her most honest answer to the question "what turns you on the most" was "what I can't have, I am not interested in guys I can have".

She answered your question there. Since you need her so bad, she is so turned off. Girls don't want a needy man, that is a big turn off. She probably see's you as a big brother that fucked her before now. She wants bad boys and thugs not nice needy guys as I explained earlier.

Women love stories and love to gossip. Whether it be problems from someone else to make her problems seem smaller or having someone to tell her problems and stories to. You are basically stuck in the friend zone. Either be her friend and let a million men fuck her brains out everyday and get over it or move the fuck on and disappear out of her life. She is using you dude.

 

[smerc]

Let her see you w/ another girl. I heard it's a good feeling. Unless someone gets feisty.

 

[pdguy]

In America we have a saying to not get caught up in all that love shit:

We Find'em Feel'em Fuck'em and Leave'em
and you would do good to do the same!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Shenlong]

The reason on why I agreed on the friends with benefits is that I am NO ONE to tell her what to do. The 1st time she did this, she came to me being sorry. I looked at her and said- Do whatever you want, do whatever you like. This is your summer and just have fun, do whatever you feel like doing. I DONT want to force her doing something she does not want to.... I want her to FEEL that she wants me, I dont want to limit her. If she does not love me, then I am NO ONE to tell her what she should do, with who she should do.

This, to me, seems like a mistake. You gave her free roam while making commitments you knew you couldn't uphold.
I respect how much you care but sometimes there needs to be a limit. Don't forget, you have your own needs to consider too.

Good luck in your recovery, I'll be rooting for you Zam.

 

[Disco Dave]

I've notice that shit like this tends to happen during the summer time. Because its usually too cold to be fuck-hopping during the winter. But this is how you should get back at her. Tell her that since she doesnt mind fucking for free; than you can set her up to fuck dudes at your school for money. Once she see the puppy love mantality is now gone and you're confronting her on a strictly business relationship; She will look at you differently. Now she may get angry at the idea but atleast she will know that she is no longer worshipped in your eyes. Check Mate.

 

[Anthony78]

Just ignore her. She treated you like shit and you went to her party. That doesnt make any sense.

 

[ShadedSam]

I agree with everyone else. Ignore the shit out of her. You SHOULD NOT have given her that present! That only shows your a weak beta that is only there for her to shit on, take money and attention from, and never fuck. Also, the only thing better than ignoring her is fucking other chicks, and letting her KNOW (subtly but make sure it gets out). Even if they aren't as hot, she will think "Wait, I'm hotter than her, why is he having sex with her instead!" Chicks like her LOVE getting with guys who are with other women.

 

[8incyclops]

Arghh what everyone said ignore her! Turn your back on her even literally,check your phone,don't stare at her while guys are banging her.o

and go find a chick better looking than her and hang with this new girl so she sees this! Smile laugh joke with the new one
if she hits you again say "Don't you dare do that again!!" Now go away!!! With a aggressive ALPHA male voice

Your the nice guy she wants to confide in you talk to you then make you feel like a beta male by hurting you then banging other douche bags girls are mean.

Also this helps " Fuck your ugly what did I ever see in you dam" and walk away I know I'm bad

 

[Satyr]

Good to have you back, Zam. Bad that you're going through such an ordeal.
you strike me as a very empathetic and encompassing person with no intention to hurt your fellows. I don't know for sure but can't imagine that retaliative acts as suggested here by some will give you any comfort or satisfaction. I think the best thing to do would be to just distance yourself from her and all the emotions that the social interaction with her stirs up regularly. You're very young and I don't want to sound precocious but wounds in your age tend to heal relatively fast and new options tend to pop up in short time as well (though it may seem to you otherwise right now, but once you're "in the game" things run comparably easy in your age. It gets way more complicated later, believe me). You should capitalize on this ability and try to go on with your life as fast as possible and find another girl. that includes to not waste any energies (be it for grieving, reconciliation or retaliation) on this girl anymore. The faster the better. So basically I can just concur with what a lot of people said here: ignore at all costs.
Good luck.

 

[tbone77]

seems to me you kinda want what you can't have as well...funny how it works sometimes. since she seems to want what she can't have, if you want her, you're going to have to be scarce. if she wants to sleep with you, turn her down. time to flip the script, bro. to be honest though, this won't ever be a healthy relationship. if that's what you're looking for, cut ties, and don't look back. because you are the guy with the true feelings, you're the one that's going to get hurt.

 

[Satyr]

if that's what you're looking for, cut ties, and don't look back. because you are the guy with the true feelings, you're the one that's going to get hurt.

exactly! don't invest anything into this anymore. Any kind of further involvement will hurt you in some way, even it it might get you some kind of temporary satisfaction. let go and free yourself of this whole affair.

 

[Lightning]

Zam, everyone here has made really good suggestions. You can cut it off the bad boy way or be a gentleman and do it the gentleman way.

I ask you this, if this girl is this big of a slut, why are you still so in love with her? If you feel its a phase she is going through, then you are right. This phase may take another 8 years or so before it's over. Are you willing to wait that long while everyone is fucking her brains out every night? After this phase is over, she will not care about cock ever again. This happens with most girls that turn into women. It's like all things for many of us, if you really enjoy doing something in the beginning and you over do it for many years it becomes boring. I remember when I wanted to be a graphic designer and did everyones flyers for free out of love and then when it became a demanding job, I got so sick of it. To this day I do not want to see the word Photoshop or Illustrator even when I need to do it here.

Please move on brother.

 

[Zambrodom3]

Yes, moving on is what I started to do and what I am doing now! She showed some interest for attention last night on the party, but I did not even look at her. It hurt a little- wanting to be with someone and still ignore him, but FUCK that BITCH! rofl

LIGHTNING- To your questions I will now answer.

1- When we chatted she told me that MANY people know her in a different way- when she is drunk, when she is in a good mood, when she is in a bad mood etc. But she told me that I am the only one that actually saw the REAL her, the way she is, not pretending, not hiding. I fell in love with this person. I realized what you said 4 days ago now.... that if this is not the girl I love then why would I still have feelings. Well it is maybe because I know that down there lies the real girl- the one that I loved is somewhere down there and I know that this is the REAL one, not the fake one.


2- (answer to everyone!!!)- When we chatted it all came as nothing more than sex talk. Right in the start I told her "Women are all the same- they like to be treated bad and treated like shit, I do not understand that, but I guess that is the way you women are...". Her answer... well it was "Yes, I know that some women like this, but I am not like that. I have had a boyfriend- my 1st boyfriend was the rudest person to me. I gave him everything and he treated me like the biggest shit- laughing at me, spitting me, hitting me, making fun of me in front of everyone just to make me feel worse and worse..... I dont like bad guys, I like nice guys, I dont think that it is cool to be a bad guy. For a serious relationship- I would ALWAYS choose a nice guy- even if he is UGLY, AWFUL in sex, poor instead of someone who might be a star, but treat me bad". She has talked me about her last boyfriend who she truly LOVED (and from her stories- it was LOVE really). She said he was not the hottest, richest not anything, but he was as nice as a man could be and he gave her all his care- that is why she fell in such deep love with him. I am no different than him I see that, but it looks like she is just in a phase of her life where she just wants a break from feelings, cause after he left her, she was hearbroken and she can not allow herself feelings anymore. I know that my way- the nice way- is the right way to her heart, but I know that the door is closed and no matter how much I try to walk that way, the door would still be closed.


This is why, boys. I have read EVERY comment of yours and I feel ALL your support. I am now following your advice. It is hard to see that someone who you want to be with SO much wants your attention and you still ignore it (last night rofl), but it seems it is either me who is going to get hurt or her who is gonna feel pissed off at me for doing this. She is not the bad guy of the story- it is just that feelings came on the wrong place at the wrong time and we cant control that. I am following your advices boys!!! I will keep my friendship with her, but will no longer give her the care and support she needs. I will not IGNORE her, but I will ignore her needs. Thanks... BROTHERS!!!

 

[Disco Dave]

She seems like she may make good as a practice sex partner. Take advantage of her kindness. She may be of some use to you. I think both of you can benefit from this FWB situation. I wouldnt totally kick her to the curb if she is willing to trade your sympathetic-ear for some pounding-pussy practice. (Without the emotions) This could work. Think about it.

 

[Lightning]

"Women are all the same- they like to be treated bad and treated like shit, I do not understand that, but I guess that is the way you women are...". Her answer... well it was "Yes,

All WOMEN want to be treated like Queens (rare cases excluded). Many little girls seeking bad boys want to be "treated like shit".

When I was with my ex after 15 years, I started going out and partying. She stood home every night while I was out having fun at strip clubs, bars, etc. I started not paying attention to her anymore. She thought I was out fucking every night when I wasn't. She eventually started fucking everyone in our neighborhood and in the state to get back at me so I left her. Unfortunately for her, I hit a phase in my life that I wanted to party and I tried to bring her with me at times but she always ruined the night. So yes, moral of the story is most women/girls will fuck allot of other men to try to forget about a man they loved to get over him.

 

[Lightning]

She seems like she may make good as a practice sex partner. Take advantage of her kindness. She may be of some use to you. I think both of you can benefit from this FWB situation. I wouldnt totally kick her to the curb if she is willing to trade your sympathetic-ear for some pounding-pussy practice. (Without the emotions) This could work. Think about it.

Well said. On this level it could be good if he can emotionally detach himself from her.

 

[Satyr]

yes, but the crucial question is if you, Zam, are up to the difficult task of detaching yourself from her emotionally while still using the benefits of this relationship.From what I've read out of your first post you seem to be just too involved to play it like that. I (as anyone else here) may very well be wrong since I don't know the situation or her in detail but this could fire back at you. Just a thought...

 

[ShadedSam]

Disco Dave, he tried that, but he became attached even while trying his hardest not to, so that isn't the right answer.

Zam, you may be right that "deep down" she is different than she is acting, however, whether that is true or not (I don't think its true, I think she is playing you), your actions should be the same. Because even if deep down she wants to be with a nice guy, she certainly doesn't want that right now, and she probably only thinks she wants that, when, in reality, she wants the opposite.

But I think she made up the story about wanting to be with a nice guy. What probably happened is there was a nice guy, she treated him like shit, so he eventually left her. Do you want to be the second nice guy that that happens to? Yes, she probably likes nice guys because they let her get away with treating them like shit. So ignore everything that she says or has said, instead look at her past ACTIONS.

Anyway, I am proud of you! That is great that you have been able to ignore her, that is a REALLY tough thing to do. Keep at it and step it up a notch if you can. Like 8incyclops said, say negative things to her regarding her looks, etc. while you are with another girl (and only after you're with another girl otherwise it just sounds pathetic). This will show her that she isn't good enough for you meaning you're better than her, and girls always want to be with people who are better than them.

 

[DLD]

Disco Dave, he tried that, but he became attached even while trying his hardest not to, so that isn't the right answer.

Zam, you may be right that "deep down" she is different than she is acting, however, whether that is true or not (I don't think its true, I think she is playing you), your actions should be the same. Because even if deep down she wants to be with a nice guy, she certainly doesn't want that right now, and she probably only thinks she wants that, when, in reality, she wants the opposite.

But I think she made up the story about wanting to be with a nice guy. What probably happened is there was a nice guy, she treated him like shit, so he eventually left her. Do you want to be the second nice guy that that happens to? Yes, she probably likes nice guys because they let her get away with treating them like shit. So ignore everything that she says or has said, instead look at her past ACTIONS.

Anyway, I am proud of you! That is great that you have been able to ignore her, that is a REALLY tough thing to do. Keep at it and step it up a notch if you can. Like 8incyclops said, say negative things to her regarding her looks, etc. while you are with another girl (and only after you're with another girl otherwise it just sounds pathetic). This will show her that she isn't good enough for you meaning you're better than her, and girls always want to be with people who are better than them.

Real talk, nice post!

 

[smerc]

ignore everything that she says or has said, instead look at her past ACTIONS.

Agreed. "Judge me by my actions and not by my words".

What she stated just seems to be about perception. She wants to be perceived a certain way by you, but her actions say otherwise.

seems it is either me who is going to get hurt or her who is gonna feel pissed off at me for doing this

You pretty much could say she put you in this position of pushing her away.

I will keep my friendship with her, but will no longer give her the care and support she needs. I will not IGNORE her, but I will ignore her needs

Not sure what friendship means to you, but care/support is a broad term. Even some care/support/need is needed to sustain a 'friendship'.
So you might want to rethink your stance if she asks you where you and her stand as far as companions go. As it's kind of a contradiction since it wasn't defined(the above).

 

[RUBY10"]

Zam, kogato go vidish tova brat pishi molq te. Ne se predavai, i izvinqvai che ne bqh tuk da ti pomogna, moya greshka.

 

[Zambrodom3]

Yes boys. I see what you all mean. Benefiting from this whole thing is what I wanted to do and I tried. I saw that a fuck buddy is a great option to have in this situation, but it seemed like she had NO interest for me (and I am unsure whether I should show interest now since that would break my ignore and would make me look her weaker in her eyes- like I cant go on without her etc.), so I might try her again, but am not sure if this is the right thing to do...

Today she came to us drunk again and she started shaing how afraid she was of having STD or HIV, cause of the unprotected drunk sex she had... But to be HONEST there is ONE thing I do not understand at all!!!! WHY is it when she is drunk she is willing to fuck everyone and is SOO easy to fuck, but when I try to get my sex she does not want that!?!? I will try again and see what happens, I will just make sure she is very drunk (this is the part where I see that it is all hopeless when it comes to feelings and the BEST I can do is just benefit from a fuck buddy to bring me pleasure and experience). From now on I will be the one that will try to USE her, not her using me! I will be the one that will try to benefit as much as I can from the situation rofl.

Thank you brothers, I will not give up, I will try to get the best out of the situation AGAIN and I hope it works this time... this is the best I can do at this rate. And I KNOW that she will MISS ME. Just wait till she goes back to her country and realizes what she actually did, foolish whore rofl.

All the best, Zam

 

[Lightning]

Honestly, if she is fucking dudes left and right and always drunk as much as you say, I'm pretty sure she has had a hell of allot of unprotected sex by now. And now you say she is worrying about STDs? Dude, wtf are you still trying to pursue that? Do you want to get STDs from a girl that don't give a fuck about you? You are allot safer having sex with a prostitute than a slut.

 

[DLD]

Honestly, if she is fucking dudes left and right and always drunk as much as you say, I'm pretty sure she has had a hell of allot of unprotected sex by now. And now you say she is worrying about STDs? Dude, wtf are you still trying to pursue that? Do you want to get STDs from a girl that don't give a fuck about you? You are allot safer having sex with a prostitute than a slut.

The best way to get over an obsession is to replace it with another. This may not be the most therapeutic method but it damn well works. At the point you are Zam your desires are based on what is very difficult to have and this will drive a man crazy finding a way through it to get what he wants and in the rare case you do get what you want, what do you really get? A justification for your desire. This justification will last about 10 minutes until the obsession returns to attack and destroy everything you worked so hard to get and then you will be left at square one again. I know this because I accomplished this with my X-Girl Jen. She left me and was out doing everything I could not bare but my obsession over her grew more and more until it became crippling. I did whatever I had to do to get her back and when I finally did it lasted less than 3 months and those 3 months were pure hell. Letting go is hard to do but once you do you will allow the right person room to enter your life.

An additional concept I would like to put forward is maybe becoming abstinent for a while. Taking time to yourself, learning to love and appreciate all the parts of yourself that may now go ignored can be refreshing and teach a man to gain a great inner self confidence. Sometimes a mate is nothing more than a filling missing from our own personal psyche. If you learn to fill that part of yourself with self-confidence you will shine so much brighter and allow for the good to walk into your life.

 

[Disco Dave]

Honestly, if she is fucking dudes left and right and always drunk as much as you say, I'm pretty sure she has had a hell of allot of unprotected sex by now. And now you say she is worrying about STDs? Dude, wtf are you still trying to pursue that? Do you want to get STDs from a girl that don't give a fuck about you? You are allot safer having sex with a prostitute than a slut.

I agree totally. Zam; Now that I think about it; you should be looking for some younger, cleaner chick that you can control.

 

[DLD]

I agree totally. Zam; Now that I think about it; you should be looking for some younger, cleaner chick that you can control.

Control may be something Zam also gives up, sometimes it is ok to not be in control, sometimes a balanced, equal relationship will be exactly what a man needs. I say this from experience, women hate to be controlled and will rebel even against the things they love to escape control.

 

[Lightning]

The best way to get over an obsession is to replace it with another. This may not be the most therapeutic method but it damn well works.

An additional concept I would like to put forward is maybe becoming abstinent for a while. Taking time to yourself, learning to love and appreciate all the parts of yourself that may now go ignored can be refreshing and teach a man to gain a great inner self confidence. Sometimes a mate is nothing more than a filling missing from our own personal psyche. If you learn to fill that part of yourself with self-confidence you will shine so much brighter and allow for the good to walk into your life.

Zam, this is really good stuff right here that DLD wrote.

 

[Disco Dave]

Zam, this is really good stuff right here that DLD wrote.

Zam: they may be right. But let me tell you this. You need a wholesome young chick that wants to experiment with sex the same as you do. A chick that is curious to slowly test the waters. This is why guys use to go after good persona fat chicks. Just because both parties felt comfortable while learning sexual techniques without the worries of being laughed at. Now I am not saying fuck a fat chick but you can find a young pretty chick that is insecure who just wants to experiment and possibly fall in love at the same time. So I suggest somebody that is sexy but shy. The shy ones usually dont know how sexy they are. And they are willing to experiment with the good guy. Just catch them before the Dick-head alpha male gets to them first.

 

[tbone77]

dude, stop going after the drunk slutty chick. she's bad news. stop lowering your self value...pretty soon this chick is gonna take all the value/confidence you have left, and you'll be standing there a lone with nothing. good women aren't going to lower their value for you.

 

[Lightning]

Zam, another thing also depends on where you are in this chapter of your life (school, new career, artist, etc). Chicks can be a big distraction in this phase of your life if you are not yet established. They can mislead you off your path and fuck up your future by making you fall in love/fussy whip you and then cheating or hating on you and having you being distracted from the bigger picture in life. I've been there and done that myself.

 

[Zambrodom3]

Well thank you everyone... AGAIN ! Your words really help me and now I can confidently say that I dont give a fuck so much. I am not sure if I even wanna have protected sex with such a disgusting whore rofl. I will make sure to follow DLD's advice, I have read it in the book "The power of habit" recommended to me here in [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] by Asanon (thanks bro rofl)- just poit it toward someting else, replace it, this is the easiest way . I am now MUCH better than I was before. You gave me all I needed! I am sorry for being a pussy and whining so much though rofl. NOW Zam is about to have some good time, a good summer.

 

[DLD]

Well thank you everyone... AGAIN ! Your words really help me and now I can confidently say that I dont give a fuck so much. I am not sure if I even wanna have protected sex with such a disgusting whore rofl. I will make sure to follow DLD's advice, I have read it in the book "The power of habit" recommended to me here in [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words] by Asanon (thanks bro rofl)- just poit it toward someting else, replace it, this is the easiest way . I am now MUCH better than I was before. You gave me all I needed! I am sorry for being a pussy and whining so much though rofl. NOW Zam is about to have some good time, a good summer.

Good to see your mind is so open!