Endless Potential, Major mental Block, Need Help

G

GoodLookingNerd

0
I was going to originally going to post this as a comment to a thread of one brother who had some serious size anxiety but this has gotten too lengthy, deep and emotional. WARNING, I KNOW I have some major fucking disorder. This has been a problem for fucking ever and posting/discussing this may make me reach some sort of catharsis but I still know what I have to do. This is elaborated below. Hopefully this will resonate with some other sick brothers, make people feel better about themselves or whatever. I don't know.

I was originally talking to somebody but just copy and pasted.

I know with my stats, I am "above average":

March 2017 stats

BPEL 7.8 in.
MEG 5.0 in.

I too am a virgin and have severe body dysmorphia. I am 6'3, have some extra poundage right now due to an injury but workin on it. Usually I am very strong and athletic and have been told I so many times I am very good looking. Girls on my campus always give me a quick glance and for the ones who have enough confidence, they give me a smile and give me a seductive hello.

I am also one of the top students in my chemistry program and have a solid 4.0. I just recently passed my national exam with flying colors and have been told by my professors that they see me doing whatever I want to do in this world.

Even with all these characteristics and achievements, I believe deep down that I am not yet complete and am not the man I want to be. Due to, yup you guessed it, my penis. I feel like shit all the time and when a girl is giving me signals I know I am gonna be turning her down due to me feeling like I will not be enough. I have really high goals and having a large penis has been the apex of my goals ever since I was 17 and noticed that men who have large members really do have an advantage in this life. Physically and really, PSYCHOLOGICAL.

It pisses me off that I can do all these things in life and being that I am so attracted to woman, I may still come up short to a dude that my girl has been with. I could literally be a billionaire and do all these amazing things but the fact that a guy has some more girth and the girl I'll be with has had more sexual satisfaction makes me think I have failed. It is really ridiculous even as I type this out but this is how I think and I have had therapy several times about this but still at the age of 23 at this point, I believe in order for me to get rid of this mental barrier and truly reach my potential is to get to my goal 9x6.

I have also have high testosterone levels which makes being "patient" that much harder. I am finally being consistent with a routine and am giving my self until I am at the age of 28 to reach that goal. Otherwise, I know life isn't gonna be good because I will forever be thinking about this.

It sucks man. Yesterday I went to go get a haircut. I looked real shitty because my hair grew out past the point I usually let it grow because I have stopped caring how I looked. The woman, who was in her mid 30's and pretty attractive, when finished my haircut told me "Oh my god, you are really handsome! Yeah, you look like a completely different person." She kept trying to talk to me afterwards and then complimented me about about my height. I told her I had to go but was fully aware of the signals. I just walking to my car, and a group of young attractive females were approaching me. They were all giggly and talkative but as soon as I was passing them, silence. A couple of them looked and smiled at me and the others gave me a quick glance and just looked away for a quick second. This happens a lot. This is just recently.

Really bad and I know I am probably one of the biggest losers I fucking know and it really kills me inside, but in my mind there is something telling me I have to have at least have a 9x6 to have sex because when I look down, it looks small to me. I almost came close to having sex a couple times and might share those stories, if it is even necessary.

I really want to enjoy life but watching so much adult entertainment, the media, having dudes overestimate theirs sizes due to similar insecurities, and listening to females talk about penis size, I am vastly prohibited in my physicality, mentality, sociability, and spirituality. I have two other threads, one on penile enlargement, and one on getting fit. I guess now I need to work on my mentality and this is most likely gonna be the most important one, cause man, it really is self limiting.
 
Last edited:
There's sooooo much more than size involved in sex. With a 5.5 BPEL and 4.75 MSEG I've had women tell me they missed how good the sex was when we were together.

While you're worried about your size she's worried that her ass is too big/small or her breasts are too small/not shaped right or "omg I hope he doesn't think I smell bad" and any other number of things. If your only insecurity is penis size and needing to lose a few pounds then the average woman has got 20 insecurities for each of them (and maybe more).

There will come a day you will have sex and realize that it's not all about size. As I've gotten a little bigger I've noticed that I can give even more but I've learned what to do during sex. It's actually really simple. Pay attention to what she's doing. 1 nighters it's not as easy because you're figuring her out as you go. Once you get into a steady sexual relationship and learn her (and hopefully she's learning you) you'll have times where you think you're good for another 20 minutes easily but her orgasm causes you to have an orgasm and you can't fight it. There's no stopping it whatsoever. It doesn't matter if you've got 5" EL, 6" EL, even 8", you'll both collapse on each other and she'll be fully satisfied... with the exception of wanting it again.

Having not experienced sex yet I understand the hangups and not knowing if you're good enough makes it all harder. I'm not saying to run out and just have sex with the first girl you can but if you can drop your fear and give it a shot you will find out that you don't need to worry as much as you do.
 
cladre60;735721 said:
There's sooooo much more than size involved in sex. With a 5.5 BPEL and 4.75 MSEG I've had women tell me they missed how good the sex was when we were together.

While you're worried about your size she's worried that her ass is too big/small or her breasts are too small/not shaped right or "omg I hope he doesn't think I smell bad" and any other number of things. If your only insecurity is penis size and needing to lose a few pounds then the average woman has got 20 insecurities for each of them (and maybe more).

There will come a day you will have sex and realize that it's not all about size. As I've gotten a little bigger I've noticed that I can give even more but I've learned what to do during sex. It's actually really simple. Pay attention to what she's doing. 1 nighters it's not as easy because you're figuring her out as you go. Once you get into a steady sexual relationship and learn her (and hopefully she's learning you) you'll have times where you think you're good for another 20 minutes easily but her orgasm causes you to have an orgasm and you can't fight it. There's no stopping it whatsoever. It doesn't matter if you've got 5" EL, 6" EL, even 8", you'll both collapse on each other and she'll be fully satisfied... with the exception of wanting it again.

Having not experienced sex yet I understand the hangups and not knowing if you're good enough makes it all harder. I'm not saying to run out and just have sex with the first girl you can but if you can drop your fear and give it a shot you will find out that you don't need to worry as much as you do.
Click to expand...

On Point!
 
People are too worried about themselves to worry about others!
 
doublelongdaddy;735797 said:
People are too worried about themselves to worry about others!
Click to expand...

Sometimes yes.

We've got a double edged sword when it comes to knowing about sex in the last 20-ish years. Today's generation has the ability so learn so much more than our parents and their parents before we even have sex thanks to the Internet. It's good because anything you wanted to know is available.

It's also bad because you can develop those insecurities thanks to camera angles and unreal expectations.

20 years ago a friend of mine who was natually HUGE said he had no idea how big he was until he joined the Marine Corps AND someone pointed it out to him. He hung longer than I was hard (I was able to figure that out based on hand size when he picked up his megacock in front of me). If he was reaching adulthood now he'd be watching adult entertainment and thinking "why are these guys so small?" or even with some of the "enhancing" angles "looks like I'm average."

Relax. Enjoy sex. It's a fuckload of fun. I've had some mid-sex questioning of size with some women and it resulted in them getting a super aggressive pounding, screaming orgasms, and a satisfaction in my head of "she may not think I'm huge but she won't forget that orgasm anytime soon."
 
There are times where my anxiety reaches an all time high and the emotional stress of this idea hits me really freakin hard. Especially when I go out and see all the honey's I could be bringing back to the house.

Right now I am not feeling any of that and am doing what I need to be doing. I really do want to achieve my goals though more for me than for the chicks I will be impaling in the near future. :)

Due to how society women's and men's appraisal for having such a characteristic, my confidence at times is directly linked to the size of my member. Not all the time. But when it is, it really is overwhelming and it obscures my thoughts heavily and is the only thing I can think of during those times. Starting this thread was really one of those times.

For now, I want to get down to my target weight and start working out again to get a good physique. Then keep hitting the PE and being consistent. Using the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]Bathmate[/words] and filling that thing up is giving me a sense of self confidence. It's kind of lame but seeing the potential from growing in that thing and becoming leaner is making me feel better about myself.

I think just by working on my goals and staying focused my education will keep the anxiety at bay. And when I believe I am ready to finally crack this shell of self limitance, then I will take the steps to finally start enjoying life. Sounds kind of lame, but that's how I am thinking at the moment. Might change along the way.
 
GoodLookingNerd;735836 said:
There are times where my anxiety reaches an all time high and the emotional stress of this idea hits me really freakin hard. Especially when I go out and see all the honey's I could be bringing back to the house.

Right now I am not feeling any of that and am doing what I need to be doing. I really do want to achieve my goals though more for me than for the chicks I will be impaling in the near future. :)

Due to how society women's and men's appraisal for having such a characteristic, my confidence at times is directly linked to the size of my member. Not all the time. But when it is, it really is overwhelming and it obscures my thoughts heavily and is the only thing I can think of during those times. Starting this thread was really one of those times.

For now, I want to get down to my target weight and start working out again to get a good physique. Then keep hitting the PE and being consistent. Using the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]Bathmate[/words] and filling that thing up is giving me a sense of self confidence. It's kind of lame but seeing the potential from growing in that thing and becoming leaner is making me feel better about myself.

I think just by working on my goals and staying focused my education will keep the anxiety at bay. And when I believe I am ready to finally crack this shell of self limitance, then I will take the steps to finally start enjoying life. Sounds kind of lame, but that's how I am thinking at the moment. Might change along the way.
Click to expand...

I'm not telling you to go out and start having sex with every woman you can but you will learn so much, and possibly lose a lot of your insecurities, once you've had sex a few times.

Given your mental state if you're going to have sex with someone she needs to be a warm, kind woman. You don't want some bar slut who will bang just about anyone. You don't necessarily need to be in love with her but it should be someone you can be open and honest with. If you get lucky enough to find a girl who you can tell that you're a virgin before you have sex with her and she doesn't laugh at you or make fun of you then you're golden. Us guys, well we love the opportunities we've had to deflower a virgin because we know we were there first. Women do feel the same way. If you find one that is truly understanding of your virginity you are going to have some amazing times with her.

I'm telling you from experience though that making your penis huge and THEN learning how to use it might not be the best. I've gotten about an inch bigger since I started PE and it's just making sex even better. It's like having a race car and learning how to drive to its full potential and then upgrading it to the moon and beyond.

On top of that if you're truly huge there will be some limitations. You have to let them adjust to girth and length if you're beyond normal. I've had sex while still somewhat plumped up from a [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]BM[/words] session and I had to start off slower due to the added girth. I only knew that because I already had experience and knew what I was doing.

I know 1 conversation isn't going to have you doing a complete 180 but I encourage you to take some steps forward. You may be missing out on some great relationships due to insecurities. It's not all about sex either. The feeling of knowing someone wants you around is nice and comforting. Start to step out of your comfort zone a little at a time and you may find that these things are much easier than you thought.
 
cladre60;735857 said:
The sad part is I can help others yet my own life is just fucked. Go figure lol.
Click to expand...

I found much freedom and peace by helping others. Eventually I was able to apply the advice I was giving :)
 
doublelongdaddy;735921 said:
I found much freedom and peace by helping others. Eventually I was able to apply the advice I was giving :)
Click to expand...

I just need someone to do the things for me that I say need to be done to fix my life. That'd solve my problems lol.
 
cladre60;735943 said:
I just need someone to do the things for me that I say need to be done to fix my life. That'd solve my problems lol.
Click to expand...

It's the power of perspective and context...far easier to identify and suggest cures from afar. can't see the forest cuz the trees are in the way, type thing
 
Big Schwanz Acht;735949 said:
It's the power of perspective and context...far easier to identify and suggest cures from afar. can't see the forest cuz the trees are in the way, type thing
Click to expand...

Oh no, I can see the things that are wrong and need fixing. Just seems like the mountain of them is too high to climb, too big to go around, and too massive to bulldoze down with just 1 of me. I need 6 of me. 5 of me to do the work and 1 to supervise.

It'd end up like the movie Multiplicity though where they would all end up taking turns on my wife and wearing her out. Then I'd try to have sex with her and she'd be exhausted.
 
cladre60;735972 said:
Yes.

C4.

Wrecking ball.

Bulldozer.

Mass grave.

And a dump truck full of money.

Lol.
Click to expand...

K...let's try a different approach. What if you were atop the mountain? Is the view better, or is there just more crap to see? Would an influx of $'s solve this or is it more 'family' issues? The good thing about money, is that you can always go and make more...just up to you...if it's people/family, that's far more complicated and fluid
 
Big Schwanz Acht;735992 said:
K...let's try a different approach. What if you were atop the mountain? Is the view better, or is there just more crap to see? Would an influx of $'s solve this or is it more 'family' issues? The good thing about money, is that you can always go and make more...just up to you...if it's people/family, that's far more complicated and fluid
Click to expand...

It's complicated with lots of moving parts. There's some mental road blocks too. It's actually similar to what's going on that started this thread. A lot of times when you have failed repeatedly you realize that you don't get let down if you don't try. Just gotta get over that part and things can start moving again.
 
Big Schwanz Acht;735999 said:
we're our own worst enemy...just wait till you hit 50 (LMFAO)
Click to expand...

If I can't accomplish the insanely short list of goals I've set for the time I turn 45 I won't even give a shit about 50. The list keeps getting shorter every 5 years. I can't shorten it any further.


Sorry for hijacking your thread GLN but as I'm sure you can see many of us are in the same boat. It's name is Life Issues and Insecurities. You are not alone sir, not in the slightest.

Anyone know where the paddles are to this boat? I'm still trying to fix the engine and if someone doesn't paddle the current well keep pushing us away.
 
cladre60;736146 said:
Gotta be careful, the current may send us crashing into a reef and we end up as shark food.
Click to expand...

Stay out of that salt water and you will have no worries! :)
 
cladre60;736025 said:
Sorry for hijacking your thread GLN but as I'm sure you can see many of us are in the same boat. It's name is Life Issues and Insecurities. You are not alone sir, not in the slightest.
Click to expand...

For sure brotha. Yeah right now I am geeking about some things I could potentially work on and probably make some money and also keep making progress on getting fit.

Being occupied and just doing things really takes this idea and compresses into another area of my mind. It isnt necessarily gone and having the wrong stimuli in front of me could necessarily bring those thoughts up.

While I do want to have a bigger penis, I think with time and some self investment, I will be relinquished of "I have to be (this size) in order for a girl to really get off."

I was using the [words=https://officialhydromaxpump.com/?uid=6&oid=2&affid=98]bathmate[/words] and had a temp girth of 5.7 inches. Couldnt get a magnum condom on and I still thought it wasnt all that big. I was reading about a guy on thunders who had starting stats below mine and he is now 9.5x6.3 and he still thinks he is small. Basically a little above my goal and he is still thinkin like that. Man.

Even with the supposed "issue" I have readin that I was shaking my head. And a lot of other people no matter how much progress they make still have this mindset. Makes me think how ridiculous how we worry about things. Im being hypocritical no doubt but I am aware of how ridiculous it can be.

I do want to get to a better place though before I start messing around with women and for the time being I am ok with that. Getting lean, make some money and then save up enough to move out........... and make some girth gain. Lol. I still think I can "improve" myself in that regard before I insert into a female.

But yeah. Other than that I can live with being in a self improvement stage while I stay focused on education and other things. I say that for now and I am pretty sure things will change.

The whole size complex thing affects a lot of men I believe but you will never hear a conversation like that in person. In this modern era, for the people who are affected, think that if we are not [X] we will not be good in sex and will have psychological issues that will stem from that. Focus and concentration may hinder due to your questioning of your own's self worth of being a man. Motivation and lack of interest of doing things, pretty much sounds like depression.

It does help though having just venting even if it wasnt in person with people. Still feel as if I could of reached some sort of catharsis and could deal with these issues slowly over a course of time.
 
MOS is the only environment I feel safe to discuss (in such detail and honesty) the subject of size. GLN, I wholeheartedly agree that the vast majority of men are at least concerned and a high percentage of those men could be deemed 'obsessive'. When a good portion of my 'mind-space' is occupied by my 'johnson' and how I can grow/improve it, then I can only imagine many others feeling the same...fortunately Mike has created an oasis of information and a calm environment in which to share.

I consider ourselves lucky since the overwhelming majority are 'lost at sea'
 
Big Schwanz Acht;736327 said:
MOS is the only environment I feel safe to discuss (in such detail and honesty) the subject of size. GLN, I wholeheartedly agree that the vast majority of men are at least concerned and a high percentage of those men could be deemed 'obsessive'. When a good portion of my 'mind-space' is occupied by my 'johnson' and how I can grow/improve it, then I can only imagine many others feeling the same...fortunately Mike has created an oasis of information and a calm environment in which to share.

I consider ourselves lucky since the overwhelming majority are 'lost at sea'
Click to expand...

Some thoughts that procur in my mind is that many men are aware of the subject of size nowadays. Through media, conversations amongst other guys when masculinity gets involved and especially when females get a hold of the subject.

That's kind of how I got into looking into PE. A conversation with females. At 17 I was unaware of the importance of size but having that conversation introduced a whole new avenue in my life that I wanted to take action in. Then I became obsessed but started when I was 19 and really never got into a routine and probably never really made gains. Finally at it now.

I think many men actually know about penis enlargement but talking about that subject in person with another dude is a rabbit hole men do not want go down in.

This is certainly a conundrum because I think deep down men do not want to be rejected just as women. Women can certainly improve their looks and health as can men, but then the whole size thing becomes kind of a stopping point if that is even an issue for that particular man. But for those who are aware of the methods then they can apply and get to where they want to be.
 
Big Schwanz Acht;736327 said:
consider ourselves lucky since the overwhelming majority are 'lost at sea'
Click to expand...

The Island of Misfit Toys :)
 
I agree, also...the penis holds much mystique for women especially given the fact that almost all their (mis)information is largely anecdotal (and we know how accurate they aren't, lol) so each experience they have either supports or refutes the reports they've heard from friends/relatives/etc. I also believe men perpetuate these myths in order to 'seem' larger than they are...hence the endless cycle of deceit.

Here at [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words], we have the opportunity to 'rise-above' and no longer participate in the lies cuz we have the size to back-up the claim
 
You've always wanted to be a pro baseball player. Physically you aren't built for it fully but that's something you can work on, getting a little more muscular where needed and getting faster. You spend years preparing your body getting to the perfect build. You're also getting older. Guys younger than you are being scouted and brought up through the farm teams and no one has even looked at you. Now you're getting to the point age wise you'll be super lucky to even get an offer. No one knows you. Why? How did this happen?

Because in all that time you were worried you weren't physically right to play the game you weren't playing! Now you've missed countless opportunities that you'll never get back. To top it all off while you look like a baseball player you don't know how to play because you never did.

You can improve while playing the game. You need to shake the mindset of "sex is going to suck unless I'm huge" because it's going to suck if you don't inure what to do.
 
Big Schwanz Acht;736389 said:
Here at [words=http://www.mattersofsize.com/join-now.html]MOS[/words], we have the opportunity to 'rise-above' and no longer participate in the lies cuz we have the size to back-up the claim
Click to expand...

Word to Life!
 
cladre60;736440 said:
You've always wanted to be a pro baseball player. Physically you aren't built for it fully but that's something you can work on, getting a little more muscular where needed and getting faster. You spend years preparing your body getting to the perfect build. You're also getting older. Guys younger than you are being scouted and brought up through the farm teams and no one has even looked at you. Now you're getting to the point age wise you'll be super lucky to even get an offer. No one knows you. Why? How did this happen?

Because in all that time you were worried you weren't physically right to play the game you weren't playing! Now you've missed countless opportunities that you'll never get back. To top it all off while you look like a baseball player you don't know how to play because you never did.

You can improve while playing the game. You need to shake the mindset of "sex is going to suck unless I'm huge" because it's going to suck if you don't inure what to do.
Click to expand...

great analogy
 
Big Schwanz Acht;736557 said:
great analogy
Click to expand...

Back when Terrill Owens was still playing for the Eagles and running his mouth about being such a great football player I said "dunno what he's talking about, the man has dropped more balls than puberty." It was the perfect analogy for his playing style.

I'm good at analogies. Bad at everything else it seems but I'm good with them.
 
cladre60;736566 said:
I'm good at analogies. Bad at everything else it seems but I'm good with them.
Click to expand...

And therefore you are. Be careful with self-talk it can make you believe the things you say are true.
 
cladre60;736440 said:
You've always wanted to be a pro baseball player. Physically you aren't built for it fully but that's something you can work on, getting a little more muscular where needed and getting faster. You spend years preparing your body getting to the perfect build. You're also getting older. Guys younger than you are being scouted and brought up through the farm teams and no one has even looked at you. Now you're getting to the point age wise you'll be super lucky to even get an offer. No one knows you. Why? How did this happen?

Because in all that time you were worried you weren't physically right to play the game you weren't playing! Now you've missed countless opportunities that you'll never get back. To top it all off while you look like a baseball player you don't know how to play because you never did.

You can improve while playing the game. You need to shake the mindset of "sex is going to suck unless I'm huge" because it's going to suck if you don't inure what to do.
Click to expand...

Yeah brotha I agree. Awesome analogy.

I understand being the age of 23 now and not having dipped in some pussy at this point may have some sense of detriment attatched to it but not entirely.

With some self analysis and really figuring what I am about I am really doing this for myself and not for women. I envision an optimal individual that I can realistically become by becoming more fit as well as reaching my PE goals. There are several more traits but those are some of them.

I believe that once I make some serious progress with these goals, I will become more confident with myself and I can transcend onto having relationships and/or just go full on Gengis Khan and fuck just about every female I come across.

Hearing a lot of females talk and partaking in many discussions, I kind of see a reoccuring theme. A lot of women are very insecure and maybe moreso than me and they have an extreme amount of expectations for guys they want to get with. And then I'll see they become highly irritated at little things which to me is extremely annoying. There are many things and I can keep going on but I kind of made my point. These are what I consider the beta females. And I really do not care for them. Not really mysogynistic but if I do not like the majority of the female population then I guess that is arguable.

I have several really cool female friends whom just absolutely refrain from having any of those non appealing characteristics and females like that are the ones I want to get with. Too bad they are a rarity. Society does place unrealistic expectations amongst both sexes and I am a victim of it.

Still though, I'd rather reach my goals before I get with girls like this. To me it shouldnt be all that bad because within a couple more years of self investment I see myself being close or pretty much achieving these goals and the self doubt should really be non existant at that point.

I enjoy having complex discussions and critical thinking but associating with the majority, they really don't care about that.

Following the algorithm of falling for a female purely out of lust and not having that deep connection that looks past the physicallity of the individual is really bothersome. I was in that situation with one chick I was kind of dating.

I would like to elaborate but I think I have typed/talked enough. Ramble ramble ramble....

Summary : Make self better, then fuck a bunch of females. Then possibly get that "special someone".
 
Be aware that the "special someone" may come into your life tomorrow. She might be the right someone for 6 months or 60 years. Sometimes certain people come into our lives to teach us certain things and then you go your separate ways.

I failed to take an amazing friendship to the next level, where it should have gone, because of my own insecurities. One of them was penis size and my sheer ignorance over what was actually considered average (which is exactly what I was). The relationship probably would've ended anyway due to circumstances beyond our control but over 20 years later I still regret it. Had I of gotten over myself we could've learned so much more about life and love (and sex too, but life and love are good things to learn about too).

Remain open to that possibility. You may be pleasantly surprised or worse - look back years later with tons of regret.
 
cladre60;736726 said:
Be aware that the "special someone" may come into your life tomorrow. She might be the right someone for 6 months or 60 years. Sometimes certain people come into our lives to teach us certain things and then you go your separate ways.

I failed to take an amazing friendship to the next level, where it should have gone, because of my own insecurities. One of them was penis size and my sheer ignorance over what was actually considered average (which is exactly what I was). The relationship probably would've ended anyway due to circumstances beyond our control but over 20 years later I still regret it. Had I of gotten over myself we could've learned so much more about life and love (and sex too, but life and love are good things to learn about too).

Remain open to that possibility. You may be pleasantly surprised or worse - look back years later with tons of regret.
Click to expand...

Yo Clad I want to say I really appreciate the fact that you are trying to talk some sense into me brotha.

At one end of the spectrum I feel that I need to go on the path that I stated above and on the other end I really should just bash these ideologies, while still continuing with bettering myself of course, and see the pleasures and seize opportunities at the right moment. It's just that the first mentioned path seems to have a stronger pull on me at the moment.

No doubt, if I were in your position talking to me I would be going off and telling myself that I am gonna have huge regrets and this state of depression that I may be in may amplify 10x later on in life. And that "special someone" may have actually come in your life already but due to your dumbass insecurities you have missed that opportunity.

It does worry me having that possibly being the reality but I do not like to think like that due to a couple of reasons.

I HAVE CHANGED. A lot. I am not the same person I am right now than I was last year. A lot of events have happened up to this moment where I think really differently about the world and the vast majority of females are not going to really enjoy the person I have become now because my views are too extreme for the general public. So my "special someone" before last year is not going to be the "special someone" for me now.

Once I am truly confident with myself, I will be dipping into a lot of pussy. I still love the female form more than anything else but the ideologies that exists in the minds of many females just doesn't appeal to me. They are just gonna be practice. UNLESS, that special someone comes into my life at that stage where I am comfortable with myself.

The question I have, what's another two years? I will be 25, with my B.S., I came into college into a later time but that is another story, and I will be physically and mentally better. I really want to be that person before I begin touching skins with a female. It is idiotic, narcissistic, close-minded and selfish. But I cannot shake off that bug in my head at the moment and I just see the only way to deal with it is to continue doing what I am doing.

Again, in your position, I would pity myself but this what exists in my mind, and tbh, I think this "damage" that exists in my mind is relative to many brothers out there. We just don't hear it too often.
 
So what's another 2 years? Is not that much, just 730 opportunities to be cumming inside of hot, tight, wet vagina or a drooling mouth with a flicking tongue. That's all it is, no big deal lol.

I'm not a sex addict but I am obsessed with sex. I started experimenting with masturbation at the age of 11 and by 12 it was pretty much daily. As I've gotten older and been in relationships having pussy has become my security blanket. Just knowing that I have someone willing to have sex, even if we aren't having sex daily, it's comforting. I'm sure all of that is tied into some deeper issues that I probably need to address.

Anyway, if that's a no BS 7.8" BPEL that you're starting with your larger than I am after doing 6 months of PE. I started a full 2" smaller and spent many years believing I was small when in reality I was average. I compensated for what I thought was a lack of size by fucking their brains out. After many years I realized that only 2 women ever got their lips all the way to the base of my penis and only 1 of them was slamming her face in for more. She was literally trying to inhale my cock while I was cumming, zero gag reflex. After she got done she was saying things like how she couldn't wait for me to get hard again to feel me inside her, how she knew my cock was going to tear up her tight pussy.... the chick could inhale a horse yet she was legit stroking my ego.

Anyway, regret sucks, but it's better to regret something you did than something you didn't. I'm glad to hear that your views are changing and you've progressed but I'd love to hear that you broke down the mental wall, had sex, and found out what you've been missing out on. I think a lot of your fear is partially about size and a lot more about the unknown. The same women you hear say things like "omg he was huge! He had an 8" cock and I loved it!" would say a REAL 8" chick was over 10".

And keep this in mind....a girl told me as long as I had at least 3" and knew what to do with it she was happy. Wait, did you say 3 INCHES?! That's, well, ummm, small.

Her reply was simple. "My middle finger is 3" long and when I pull my legs up right I can get it and my index finger in all the way to the knuckles. I can fuck myself silly like that and I'm satisfied. If you've only got 4" and know what to do I'll make sure you cum as hard as possible when we're done."
 
Ok so...... I am kind of thinking about my "predicaments".

I had a pretty good day apart from the massive amount of paperwork I had to do today. I went to my college to get everything setup for the fall semester and there were a lot of cute females. A lot.

Usually I would have this sense of anxiety because of a number of things but because I have been actively changing the things I want to change in my life I feel better about myself. Despite the banter I created within this thread, I am feeling a little better everyday. I have also been reading a fucking shit ton and applying it is helping me shape the mindset I want to have. I am nowhere near where I want to be but I believe I am slowly getting better.

I was able to talk to some females I knew and I was pretty much anxiety free. It is a little conceited, but with my weight loss and haircut, I looked in the mirror in the first time for a while and noticed I looked pretty damn good. Lost a lot of facefat and my cheekbones are showing which I've read that women really like features like that and it shows some "masculinity" or some shit. Whatever lol. Sounds kind of gay but anything for that initial point of interest right? Point is I am getting a lot of attention and that is kind of feeding my confidence and may be a contributor of helping me with my issues.

I talked to this German girl who is a cashier in the bookstore and she was pretty much following me around the store and talking to me. She is pretty cute. I am like a whole foot taller than most chicks at 6'3 and I am starting to realize at this point in my life it is an advantage. Like fuckin seriously bruh. Wtf lol.

Before I used to be a crazy fitness fanatic and I told myself "I am not gonna get with a chick until I am absolutely shredded." I got down to 10% bf and then went down to 8% then I got injured and gained fat back. I had chicks constantly checking me out and I was being told by chicks "she thinks your fuckin hot!" My confidence was boosted exceptionally.

I kind of want to get down to those levels and then I think I will be pretty good with my mentality and maybe start getting that "bug" out of my head. Being better physically makes me feel better about myself and helps with my mentality.

Writing this out was actually approving my positivity but then has resurfaced the issue as I think about it. Fuckin weird but I'll continue with getting shredded first and then see how it impacts the anxiety and self doubt. Still doing PE though part of the daily routine and is therapeutic.
 
Being comfortable talking to women is a huge bonus. Now move to step 2 which is getting them comfortable enough to take off their clothes and have sex.

You never see a good looking guy with an ugly chick (military bases excluded, totally different topic). However you will see an ugly or out of shape guy with a hot chick. Why? He was able to talk to her. How they hooked up had nothing to do with his looks, his body, or the size of his penis except for the fact that HE was okay with all of it.

You don't have to be totally ripped and single digit body fat to get women. Actually some will be put off by it and think they aren't good enough for you when really, emotionally and mentally, they might be perfect. Nothing wrong with being in shape, not at all, but you need to keep taking steps to be comfortable with YOU. I'm glad to hear you're making progress mentally, now start making progress getting the head in, then the shaft inch by inch....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top