It's just not fair <:(

I had a post in the main forum similar to this but I felt posting one in this forum would be more suitable.

It just seems wherever I go I feel people are talking about how small penis is even though I have a decent flaccid size (about 4.75x5, erect size about 7.1x6 bp). But it seems no matter what pair of jeans I wear the top part always sticks out a little bit and I think it makes people think Im small.

The other night I was at a club and I saw a girl do the classic small sign to here friend. (You know the one Im talking about). I have tons more stories where Ive heard people talking about my size just be looking and the way it appears in jeans or shorts. It just doesnt make sense. I have an above average flaccid size, as well as above average erect size, but it doesnt matter and Ive been told I am an extremly handsome guy, and Im really tall (6'3) and very athletic but none of that matters because girls wont even give me a chance to take my pants off.

This frustrates me so damn much It's like I spend hours trying to buy a pair of jeans or shorts or something just to make sure my penis looks ok in them its like I cant even shop for style anymore. And I could live with this if I really was below average or average size but thats just not the case and I dont think my life should have to be this way. It's like I find myself wanting to tell everyone I see who may glance at my crotch or I think is glancing, every single detail about my penis and about how Im not small or even average for that matter. Sigh, I cant live like this. I think I acutally spend about 95% of my day thinking about my penis.

This post is mostly just a vent but if anyone has any good advice or life lessons they would like to share

It is all in your head my friend. You are paranoid.

scubaman70 said:

The other night I was at a club and I saw a girl do the classic small sign to here friend. (You know the one Im talking about).

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Nope. Sorry. What is this "classic small sign"? Please describe it. I really want to know what you mean. Hell, it coulda been done to me a million times because I was never even aware of its existence until just now.

My heart goes out to you and I am happy you have asked for help. First I would like to agree with philadelph that, indeed, it is all in your head but these "head" things have a very creative way of manifesting themselves into a very real problem. I don't think your problem is paranoia, although that is something you are going through, but more obsession and possibly compulsions. I go through very similar problems and can attest to things seeming very real...so real that I believe other people know what is in my head. It has caused me unnecessary hardships and has robbed me of even the most basic normality of life. Obsessions are extremely debilitating but there are things you can do to help give you better quality of life.

Let me relate this to myself and a typical situation, this will show how insidious this problem really is. For me it starts out as a simple thought...I will be looking at �naked people movies� and I think to myself, "wow that guys dick looks huge...I wonder if he is bigger than me" Most people would have this thought, soon forget it and go on with watching their movie but my brain does not work that way. The thought will spin in my head like a record and start a mental skip...."wow that guys dick looks huge...I wonder if he is bigger than me"..............."wow that guys dick looks huge...I wonder if he is bigger than me"..............."wow that guys dick looks huge...I wonder if he is bigger than me"....Eventually my concentration is lost and I get a nagging desire to challenge the thought with "real" evidence and prove it wrong. At this point the movie gets paused on the guy, I get every possible measuring device and start the long, fruitless task of proving the thought incorrect. Sound fun yet? Next I measure or compare or weigh or whatever gives me a rational conclusion in this mental dilemma. (did I just say rational?) Let's say this was a good night and I actually proved to myself I was bigger or longer or thicker or any other penis related "er". I then go back to the movie feeling pretty accomplished, I proved it wrong. Maybe a minute goes by and a new thought replaces the earlier one...."Maybe you measured wrong" then the argument starts between me and me. me will be played by the blue and me will be played by the red.

"Are you sure you measured right"...."I am positive"...."Nau, maybe you did it too quickly"..."No, I remember, it was a very accurate measurement"..."Just do it again to be sure"..."I don't have too, I just measured"....."What's a matter, scared?"...."No" ..."Then just do it"......

This thought pattern will go on until I go back and double check then the entire scenario starts over again. This could go on for 15 minutes or an entire day depending on when the record in my brain stops skipping. A double check will quickly become 3rd, 4th, 5th....100-check.

The problem with this proof, being the actual compulsion, is the obsession uses it as fuel to make it's value that much bigger...that much scarier. With each episode the obsession grows larger than life. Even though, at the time, I think the proof is helping it is really keeping me in bondage. An episode like this could put me in a mood where I think everybody knows my problem. My girlfriend, Jen, may make a totally innocent comment like "I'm feeling sorta sick" and, of course my deranged mind hears "you have a little dick" As sili as this sounds this is how far this insidious problem will go. It will fuck up my night, my relationship, my sex drive, my motivation...everything and this is only one example of my many obsessive problems.

I understand that your problem is different than mine but every obsession and compulsion share many of the same traits. I hope you are able to see the similarities in our situations. There is hope and things can get better but you will need to take charge and fight this thing. Again, I would rather relate this to myself in hopes it helps you. When an intruding thought comes in my head I need to make a decision to just ignore it. Such a simple thing but ignoring the starting thought will rob the obsession of it's powers and eventually you will be able to move on. When an obsessive thought has been around a while it dies hard so prepare yourself for battle. It may take time to erase these beliefs in your head but I promise you it is worth it. When you take charge and fight back it leads to a much better quality of life.

I can tell you all day long that no one is thinking about your bulge but until you believe it the words won't stick. This belief comes from you and your ability to destroy these obsessions. Here are some links to some articles I have wrote on the subject. I hope it helps.

I have never had this problem because I hate tight pants.

Mine sticks out like yours. Certain jeans make it look like a nub lol. So I only wear those jeans with t-shirts that cover it. I don't really have a measurement for my flaccid, since it is dependant on many conditions. I'd say on avg. 3-3.5. I know how you feel, but I don't think about it that much myself. Prolly b/c I'm not promiscuous. Wear boxer briefs. Should help keep him pointed down.