Help trying to get the ex back for one last booty call

smeyers said:

Damn sweets you predicted the future. She's been calling me up a lot lately. I've been letting her do the talking for the most part and mirroring/building rapport with her,......letting her hear what she wants to hear.

Only thing is, it came right back to bite me in my ass. Check this shit out. She talks about types all the time. The only one that really was her type was her first b/f that beat her. So when looking at guy number 2 and me, I'm thinking Hydromaxmmmm shit isn't adding up here, as to be expected with her crazy ass. On this topic, like I said she's been going out a lot. She's also been going places about 50% of the time with her one guy friends, who she says she's been friends with for a while, but they've never been really close, BUT they've been spending a lot more time together lately.

She claims this guy isn't her type because he's short and cut up, not the big bulky brute that she claims she wants, he has also slept with a good amount of women, (which I thought was a turn off for her, but I could be wrong), and this kid is always with another woman when he's around her, (sometimes people he's dating, but not neccesarily all the time, sometime's ex's that he's still stuck in mini leases with), but she claims he's been acting sort of weird when other guys talk to her.

HOWEVER, she also said that he is the male version of her, and that at times they get along really well, and other times that won't talk at all b/c they fight and are too similar. When she said that I started to smell the perverbial funk of emotional drama, which crazy bitches obviously love.

So like I said she's been calling me a lot, telling me about her crazy adventures at the bars, and work, blah blah, (like she does with other male friends that she didn't hook up with),.......but I'm thinking in my head o.k. build rapport, her escapades don't phase me, and possibly get her to agree that I meet up with her somewhere, take her home and get down to it.

WELL, today she calls and is like "How do you know if a guy friend likes you" And I'm thinking, son of a bitch, and she's talking about the dude I mentioned previously, and obviously the guy likes her. I asked her, "I thought he wasn't your type" and she's like "He isn't, but I just want to be preparred if something were to happen, how to respond"..............I'm thinking to myself yeah like what how far you have to open your mouth,..........I don't know maybe I'm wrong, .........this broad is the hardest woman to read ever, probably because she has no clue of self except that she wants what she wants, when she wants it, no hobbies, no interests, just baically like a little kid, ........have fun and get it my way all the time, which for little kids, and her, is constantly chaning.

But basically I'm thinking if she even asked me that, she most likely does like him, and I'm fucked. However, as an aside, she did get back together several times with the one ex that beat her, important to mention though, that he dumped her, and she was like 15, and 17 at the time, and 21 now.

Also, she was really complaining of scapular pain today, and I used to give her massages, b/c I needed hours for school for masssage therapy, and I told her that she should pop by after work, and I'd help her out, when we were cool she rarely passed up a free massage.................but what do you know, no popping by, and the phone stopped ringing, hahaha.

So I'm damn clueless right about now. B/c if she gets with this dude, I really doubt things will last, and I can hit the rebound, (but gotta be carefull I don't catch something in the process),.......however that's definatly cutting off my balls, which at this point probably don't exist anyway,.....since I'm scrapping at the bottom of the barrel. I can go the other route, which is totally don't pick up her calls, and just play it by ear in the fall. Because once school starts in the fall we are going to get hammered by work, and she'll rarely be able to go out or spend time with her friends.

The negatives to both options are: by ignoring her all together, I could be totally cut off for good, even come fall, but most likely she'll get over it, b/c she says how certain guys she knows from high school and stuff really get on her nerves, but then if they have the hook ups to get into the V.I.P. parites, she has no qualms about hanging with them for a while. ....................The negative to hitting the rebound is that I can go insane waiting around to get the timming right, and it could entreach me deeper into the friends zone if she's constantly coming to me with all her issues.

I wish I could get inside this girl's head, b/c it seems like I said with her things are constatly changing from day to day. But yeah she definatly uses what she's got to get what she wants like it's her job. I have no clue on what to do and/or how to combat this.

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Damn, even though this is five days ago or something it sounds like you should try not to be there for her right now. Let her figure this shit out for herself. If you want to be her friend that is one thing, but if you are playing games with her all in the name of holding out for one last hookup or whatever then you are hurting your chances of moving on from this girl. She won't figure things out at this rate especially if she isn't learning from her mistakes. This girl sounds like a mistake for you to be involved with in any way. I hope you close the book on this girl soon or all ready have. Whatever you do don't kiss this girl's ass. Ignore her calls from now on or if you have to answer the phone act disinterested or give her the honest truth and tell her to stop acting stupid. Next time she starts asking you advice on someone like that one guy tell her you aren't giving her advice on how to avoid/get with some fucking retarded version of herself. She will continue on some bitter path and eventually she will end up with someone shitty for herself and it'll be a way for her to continue on with her self-pitying ridiculous pattern in life. She hurts people and stays clear from people that could help her out to the point of finding someone that could care for her, yet won't because it'd interfere with the only thing she has a handle on which is her manipulative mannerisms. Most of us know some girl like this, but for your sake man don't bother with her anymore. Move on for yourself. Just look at yourself in the mirror and then laugh at this whole situation because you should be out there doing better for yourself. I hope that you find someone that knows they deserve better. It's the only way to firmly establishing and recognizing self-value.

yeah man, move on.

even if she is a fox in bed....there are plenty of foxes in the sea...

Wow, I've gone to a shrink once before, and you guys are totally kicking the hell out of any advice I've gotten from him. It's much appreciated.

Iwant8 your 100% on with what you were saying. It's funny b/c although she has been trying to hurt and be manipulative to me, she's done the same with people in school, although not as bad, but she after school was over, (she did her manipulative act to get these people to feel bad for her to get friends when school began in the fall, I'm shy, I don't know anyone here, my b/c doesn't treat me right, type deal, and some of the girls in the class were really nice too her and really tried to help her out)........I talked to some of them recently,........my former psycho hasn't called these people, (who supposidely they thought they were really tight with her), at all, no email, no nothing.

But the shinning moment was Tues. night. Sorry, just gotta get this bullshit off my chest, b/c the dumb bitch tries to play it like I'm the one who thinks oddly....sorta like the crazy calling the sane psycho. Anyway this kid that she was asking me about, like I said before, screwed up,........and now they're just friends, probably only temporarly though, b/c the way she talks about him, obviously this will change.

Check this shit out though guys, and mind you that they aren't going out,...yet,....he got denied thus far........which makes this even more messed up.....she tells me the other night on the phone........ "Yeah if a guy came up to me at a bar, and started talking to me, Mr. X would get really pissed and not talk to me for a couple days"

Her tone made it sound like it like she was bragging, turned on, or something............so I'm like is that a good or a bad thing,..... She said both,....."It's good b/c he won't put up with my shit, but it's not good in that he won't clear the air with me and say what made him angry, he'll deny that he's mad so it won't make him look weak"..............so basically I guess once this guy calls her out, then he's totally got it in the bag........and by the way this is exaclty what she does as well, gets mad about immature shit, and deny's anythings bothering.........all about analyzing other pple but simply can not and will not say or hear anything about herself.

So I'm thinking to myself, since when is pouting, being immature and not knowing how to handle yourself, and having low self esteem, (espeically since they aren't even dating), considered attractive and not putting up with someone's shit???.....so obviously when I was trying to do the whole compromise thing in the relationship, and treat her well, and bought her lies that she's acting a certain way towards me b/c she's tired or in a bad mood from school and/or work.......so I would try harder to take the edge off for her, make her feel better. So now I'm thinking wow, she pretty much saw me as the biggest pussy/dumbass on the earth. She apparently sees sex appeal in basically the cro magnum man actions, ........she doesn't like guys to talk much, (unless it's about her, and she's in the mood to entertain questions.......attention attention attention), very possesive, and apparently act macho to the point where they're almost like characature sketches

So I'm thinking where the hell did this broad pick this bullshit up from. Then I remember her telling me stories about her dad,........this is the way her dad acted with/around her mom, and this is exactly what she wants. Her dad, in his mid 30's punched a guy in the face at a bar, out of the blue, for saying "Hi" to his wife. He also chased another guy who did basically the same thing, the guy got away, so he ripped a urinal off the wall of the bar. He also was in wrestling for two years in high school, he got kicked off both years during his first practices b/c he punched the guys that beat him in the face after he got pinned. The way she talked about her dad when she was telling this stuff to me, back when we started going out,......she was like acting like it was the coolest thing ever.

You guys are totally right this being a roller coaster ride, it's a mistake to be involved with her in any way, shape, or form, and why would anyone be friends with a leach, who's also obviously loves to manipulate,.......well maybe except for a "retardid version of herself".....haha very poinaint Iwant8
And I can totally see her being even more bitter in the near future, b/c of her really wanting to get married in the next couple years............who knows though girls like that thrive off of crazy ass drama. BUT, this has been my M.O. with every single girl I dated, even though I really thought I've screened them all very well. Hell I didn't date for 6 years, 20- till now at 26, b/c my last long term girl ended up marrying a dude that raped her...........took me quite a while to wrap my head around that one........and that girl isn't even as messed up as this one is.

I don't know, I just feel that b/c the shit she is pulling is just plain fucked up, and now I'm at the point where I realize getting some is not going to happen, if it does then I'll be preparred for the apocolypse, haha. But girls, and certain guys that were somewhat similar to her, that I've dealth with in my life thus far, are so far in their own world that they don't often realize the full magnitude/scope of the bull shit that they pull on a daily basis. So basically, since right now time is on my side,.......eh sorta.....have way to much of it on my hands right now,......I'm looking to get the wheels in her head spinning, (actually with the help of my friend who does the DeAngelo Method like it's his job,.........its has been working considerably well as of the last two days),..........and then if things start to pick up at my job, (which I hope they will), or if playing little games with her gets too draining, (which probably will be soon), then I'll just drop the hoe like a bad habbit.
I'm just under the mind set now of using this as a learning experience in case I run into another situation similar to this,.....I'll know what works and what doesn't from jump.

Well guys although my thread is a little old, I just thought I'd keep everyone updated a little bit. The David DeAngleo double your dating stuff is definatly working for me, it's the exact opposite of what I would normally do, and I'm definatly still a MAJOR work in progress, but the more female friends I've talked to about this stuff,....they are all pretty much agreeing that most of the stuff is legit and would work on them.

It's actually working on the psycho as well, she's doing some things that are definatly very uncharacteristic in a good way and definatly is starting to want my attention, b/f she despised it. That being said, I'm not trying to get back with her, or going to try anything sexual, (unless she basically falls into my lap), etc. etc. I'm basically using this as a learning experiment/experience, and like I said b/f if things get out of hand, then I'll just completely cut the contact, which right about now would be insanely easy for me to do, unlike several weeks ago.

But anyone who is in any type of a similar situation,.......there are some nutty broads out there, .....I would definatly reccomend DeAngelo's stuff,.......also anyone who has somewhat mastered it,.......such as a good friend of mine........is an invaulable resource while your learning.

Glad to see your back on track!

Well guys unfortunately I'm updating this post b/c I'm going to have to see my psycho ex in school here coming up on the 21rst, and unfortuantly I'll see her a decent amount, and possibly for every single class, (thank God I lucked out with labs though).

So I'll give ya a run down and any good seduction masters out there....any help would be apprecitated. What I'd like to do is get her in a friends with benefits situation, (I'm also somewhat on the fence about this, probably play it by ear cuz). The best way to describe her is that she has the memory and attention span, and many times the maturity of a 3 year old. If I didn't mention it b/f, unfortunately most women like this, .menaing very attractive with a killer bod, ...end up being tremendous in the sack. She also makes me feel like a �naked people movies� star in the bed even though I'm mearly avg. size, lol.

Anyway, my big time character flaw is the few girls I have had sex with I can get big time OCD hang ups on fantasizing about having sex with soely them after the break up,..longer than is healty... at least the length of the relationship or longer. I've been making slow and steay progress in regards to her.

Anyway here's the rundown. The dude I origionally talked about b/f, where she was trying to make me her gay guy friend over.....basically she liked him cuz he's the "male version of her" (even though she wouldn't admit it she likes him) They do share some similarities she's an atention whore and so is he, they both have napolean complex's and both are never ever wrong, etc. etc.

Well this guy was there at the beginning of the summer,and then got ticked at her and disppeared in the middle,.......(she starts calling me every now and then.....the few times I answered I just busted on pretty harsh, lol).....anyway I talked to her recently for the first time in probably about a month, to ask some quick questions about school.....and I get bombarded by the newest crap about this dude, (totally wasn't prepared for it and as usually as soon as I go to fire back, someone rings her, she takes the call and doesn't call back...lovely)......who I guess is back in the picture, and he's mad at her b/c she's doing the whole attention whore thing in front of his face, (she won't dress so much like it, however any male that will talk to her, espeically anyone cocky, crass, dangerous, etc.....you guys get the deal,....she'll totally get off on the attention).

Haha......whats funny is that they'll both meet up at the bars with their friends, (not all that big of bars mind you), and then they both do "their thing" haha..and don't talk to each other till closing time......that cracks me up. Even though they'll "hang out" during the week sometimes, so who knows, depending on how long he was with her, she possibly could've banged him,...over a month, probably,......under probably not....but I could be wrong. I'm not triping on that though unless I know I might get some. If that happens though I might, that dude has been around and my ex puts it on the guy whether or not he wants to use a rubber.

Anyway. My plan of action, since I'm going to be very busy with work and school during the week, (and both currently have zero options in those avenues), ....not to mention really broke, and living on my sisters couch for the semester, lol........is to try to work something during the weekends, (which is also going to be difficult b/c I'd have to go to the girls place,....(but I'm definatly going to try), and since I'll have some random down time, and so will she, I figure hell, I might as well take advantage of the situation, and get rid of some of this sexual angst.

So any suggestions. I'm all ears. The cocky and funny route seems to work with her but not as much as I'd like.......b/c all the seduction experts use it for "high quality women"......honestly she's not.......she's let a couple of huge drug dealers chat her up for hours consistantly at local bars........now she would never do anything with them...but that attention factor, ya know. It seems like I need something a little more extreme, but I don't want too extreme cuz I still wanna tap that, lol.

So it's like do I still sit next to her in lecture,..if I do ....do I act like her stuff doesn't bother me,...(cool and indifferent to show confidence).....even though she got turned on by getting to this other dude,....("I like it when he gets mad and walks off from the bar and won't talk to me for a couple days b/c guys were hitting on me at the bar, cuz he puts me in my place")......sick I know, but she pushed his buttons and got his attention, and apparently liked it. Or do I call her out on everything and get fired up a good amount? B/c I'm thinking even though chicks like drama, and apparently she does more than average, (this chick has gotten into girl firghts this summer b/c of people saying disrespectful things to her friends,....like I said her age is 21, but actions more like 14) Fighting all the time seems like it will do a guy in eventually, (it did it for her ex b/f me, but it took 3 months of fighting and meeting the new guy....me... to through attention at her)

I'm sort of thinking just matching her bipolarness. Not totally going spastic. But sort of being fairly mean and nasty the one day,....cocky and funny the next,.....and the nice sweat guy very sparingly......just really mix it the hell up. However I'm just not sure with an attention whore, that even mixing it up big time would help yesterdays news like tomorrows top story.

Sorry about the length guys.......like I said any suduction artits, players........or even "jerks" that can give me some good info. I'm definatly interested and all ears.

Wow smeyers, I just read this entire thread. You are spending way to much time drooling and thinking about this girl. Who the hell cares? She's only 1 girl, and girls are a dime a dozen. Even if you manage to tap that 1 more time, good for you, but I'm sure your feelings will only snowball from there. I say drop her- you don't need an emotional rollercoaster, and focus on what matters.

Edit: she sounds like the bitch in that song "Crazy Bitch"by Buck Cherry.

Wait to get back with her until you are 12x12, then.....

RIP her in two!!!!

Hahaha 12 x 12,....actually wouldn't take much b/c she's only 5'0 and 105lbs with small hips. It does motivate me to keep on tract for sure though. I acutally bought some volume pills from gollaith labs though, just in case, I get back with her though, haha.

Kal-el, your exactly right about the buck cherry song,...I tell all my friends thats her theme song. Bro I should cut you a check or something for reading that entire thread,...insane. Especially when I was really bugging out in the beginning.

Basically I do OCD on some things, I guess it's part of my personality, whenever I really want to get something accomplished and it's really against the odds, I sort of just get obsessive, which works with a lot of things, but is the absoulte wrong thing to do with women. However, like I said, unfortunately for the time being, .....unless I hit the lottery, or find a very well high paying part time job,.......I'm sort of screwed for options.

So I figure well, unfortunately she's an option, and I must admit I'm drawn to the sex with her. I figure if anything, (now that I know what she's like and have my emotions and compsure better in check and a better understanding of her and women in general)......I might as well use it as a learning experience. Basically how to get some and still keep my sanity/compsure, and stress level down with a crazy bitch,lol....I honestly think it could come in handy one day, b/c there's a lot of attractive girls out there that are very similar to her.


Also, like I said, unfortunately for me this year from next week - mid May, is probably going to the absolute worst for female options. I was spoiled b/f....own room with cool roomates at Penn State, a decent side job that paid $$$.....thus plenty of options. Now it's a couch in the living room at my sisters apt. (who acts more like my mother than my sister), at a community college, (with my program I never see see anyone outside my class), broke, and with a very low paying job. So even though what everyone is saying is totally right, .....I figure well, since that's basically my only consistant option and the sex was outstanding, might as well give it a go........I won't have to see her after December anyway,...(we do full time clinicals from Jan-May).

*** I had a similar experience back when I was going to PSU,...messed my head up a good bit, so I decided just to focus on school and work, and not women, for 3 years,.....and although it's like comparing apples and oranges b/c of the choices and time frame.........I feel like I wasted some good opportunities,.......with this I feel if I don't at least do something that I'll be wasting another year, and kicking myself for not pursing an opportunity that could've resulted in awesome sex, haha.

Smeyers, It would be good news if you bump that chick again, but in all reality, it might lead to more problems down the road. Because of what I read, it sounds like you're pretty hung up on this chica loca. I think in the long run, you'll be better off if you severe all ties.

Back in the day, I can remember this one chick I was dating, and the sex was great, I thought she was the best ever and I'd never get anything better. Than comes my next GF, well it turns out she was even better, and I definetly thought I won the lotto or something with her. Then we broke up, along comes another girl, who it turns out was even better in the sack than both of them. I could go on and on but you get the point. There's plenty of girls out there, don't just settle, or think that they're the best, cause I gaurantee the next one will be just as good or better.

Kal-el, Thanks for the advice. I'm hoping the next chick is decent in the sack as well, haven't been with a lot, only three,.....more of me being too damn picky than anything.....but the 2nd one.....ouch,.....muy mal, lol. That probably clouded my judgement some, with her I was never so turned off to sex in my life, she was just sooooo bad.

What your saying is correct though, about cutting ties,.....it really sunk in after reading a good amount of seduction ebooks and articles, ..b/c they deal on how to get women that are of high value,....and this girl isn't,...unfortunately though this seems to be the case with a lot of girls in their early 20's, her being an extreme example. Looks like I'm gonna have to go MILF hunting, lol.

Although this girl has a sweet, caring, vulnerable, and nuturing side to her, (which besides her physical attributes is a lot of what attracted me to her in the first place).......her issues with men and relationships would bascially make any "normal guy"......one who isn't into keeping her in her place via phyical abuse,......want to run.

I'm just going to have to try extremely hard to keep my focus off of doing anything or acting a certain way b/c of her,......if lightning strikes twice, (I doubt that it will happen with me, but who knows), and she would happen just to jump on me, I'll take advantage of that, other wise b/c I do tend to get OCD on things I really want, I better just stay away as much as possible. I can really just sort of sense that she likes this other dude now b/c of all the emotional roller coaster rides he's given her, and with her immaturity, even if I were to go all out....... there's no absolutely no garuntee.

I'm going to have to work on a pretty large group project with her that's due in November, so that will definatly be an interesting test of resolve,......really interestng. I saw her online today for a quick second.....and I used to be cool about things.....but probably know b/c I know she's getting online to see if he's on,.....(after finding out some stuff about her she tends to repeat patterns with guys).....it just really sent a spark through my system........this semester will be interesting.