Breaking Down Over Her

Hey all.
I usually have a rule of thumb about posting over breakups over the internet, but...if anything this isn't your average forum. We're all brothers, right? I know that this forum has grown to be more about growing as a person in addition to growing a penis. I thought it would be okay. If not, tell me.

You might know a bit of history about me if you've seen me post. I haven't posted in a long time; the forum tends to move real slow.
Well, I'm 20 years old. Young, yeah, I know. I hear it all the time.
When I was 16, I met a girl. Her name was Margaret. She was a quiet gal but very sweet. She was a fresHydromaxen and I was a sophomore. We became friends after she joined in a conversation about Star Wars. I'm not so big on Star Wars but she was. Well...I became her friend when she told me she didn't have a whole lot of friends. Turns out she was in the same situation I was in; it was hard to make friends when none of them gave you any momentum in terms of building the friendship. One conversation and that's it. Well, she was happy when I went out of my way to grow the friendship with her. The big problem was that I could only talk to her at school because she lived with this aunt that wouldn't let her have a life. No phone, no internet, no videogames, no reading comics, no drawing. Yeah, she couldn't draw. Well, 10 minutes every day was all I got. That was break time. We had no classes and we ate lunch with different people. So when my mom told me we were moving from Alabama to Washington, that meant we wouldn't see each other anymore.
But when I got up there I still thought about her. I had fallen in love. She was the sweetest person I knew, she communicated with me, liked the kinds of things I did, and if only she had a bit more freedom we could have flown through life together as soulmates.
But I thought not. So, I lived life. But one day she contacted me. Through the phone? Yeah! Her nasty aunt sent her to stay with her parents in North Carolina. We resumed our friendship. And one day, I heard from a now-ex-friend that she loved me, and she knew that I loved her. We got together. But it was a distance of 3000 miles between two kids that had no way of seeing each other. So the relationship went, for 3 years.

There were issues in the relationship, mainly communication issues. And she refused to come forth. She also didn't look like she was going to make any effort to move out of the house when she graduated, plus she was so loyal to her parents she unquestioningly followed their strict rules about everything. She constantly complained to me about how they pissed her off and made her do things that in the end was really child abuse considering how much real physical stress it put on her. She would use every time of the month as an excuse to be nasty to me, and wouldn't sit down and have any serious conversations with me because "I work so hard during the day and I come home to my parents screaming at me. At the end of the day you're what brightens my day, but I have to deal with this shit too?" She was changing gradually. She was talking down to me all the time like she was some wise sage and that I was having maturity issues. I know I'm not the most mature person in the world, but she wasn't in a very good position to be telling me that.

Well, we agreed that whatever problems we were having would be solved by Christmas, last year. That was the time we'd planned for me to come down there. I paid $600 for the ticket, but as all of you in the north know, it snowed like UNGODLY HELL that Christmas. I risked my life to drive 5 miles down to my parents' house in McMinnville. We'd planned in November that I would park my car there and my mother would take me to the airport so I didn't have to pay parking fees. Well, my mother's car wouldn't have been able to get out of the driveway so my dad took me instead. That has no real value to the story except that when he dropped me off at the portland airport, I'd found I was stuck there. I waited in line for 3 hours to find out my flight was cancelled. The earliest they could book me for? Christmas Eve. 3 days after I was supposed to be down there with my love. But that was actually a best case scenario since all the flights up to that point were also cancelled. Only on that very day did the planes start flying again. And so it was. I took a whole day to get down there but I eventually arrived at the Charlotte airport. It was 6:00 in the morning. She was walking towards me. She was beautiful. She was older, but she was cheery and happy like she was those years ago. She says I was like my old self too. We went home, I showered (hadn't done that in 3 days Christ.) and I went up to see her. We shared our first real moment together since high school. I was in her bed, we were all over each other, scared but excited, so happy, so relaxed. Unfortunately I was so exhausted I could barely move. My body was shaking not because of nervousness, but because I was using all of my energy just to avoid collapsing on top of her. We didn't have sex, because her birth control prescriber just HAPPenis EnlargementNED to mess it up for that week. Whatever. Anyway, we had a whole week planned out. But on the days she was working I could only stay home and wait. On another day, her friend came over for the whole day and spent the whole night. On another day, her OTHER friend came over for the whole day and spent the whole night. On Friday, Margaret's stepdad forced us to lift a bunch of firewood and take it inside "if we wanted the car for the whole day." But I couldn't protest, because Margaret was telling me this on his behalf because he was too chicken-shit to tell me himself. Margaret also took that day to tell me on his behalf everything I did wrong that week in terms of impressing her parents. I was devastated. But, apart from that, we had the whole day to ourselves. We drove to "place where you have fun on Fridays". Everyone has a place like that where they live. Well, Hickory was where the mall and the game stores were. After that we went home and I set her up with some things she wanted on her computer, and we played Strip Super Smash Bros. But right after that? I had to pack, sleep for 3 hours, and head to the airport. I was going home, extremely disappointed, extremely sad I was leaving the most important thing in my life, and extremely frustrated at everything that limited me and stopped me. So much energy, time, resources, planning and money spent on so little.
I mean, were my expectations too high?

Not 3 months after, she took the time to tell me I wasn't right for her. "She knows me well enough and she knows herself well enough that she is absolutely sure the relationship would become extremely volatile later in life". But the reasoning wasn't clear. And all I expect if a person is going to breakup with me is no bullshit reasoning. "Just wouldn't work out" is a bullshit reason if I am sure of what would fix things. And I know that she had been communicating with me about 99% less from the beginning to the end. It used to be "call Tristan every day, talk with him for 2 hours on weekdays, 8 hours on weekends, instant message as much as possible". This worked for a long distance relationship. But now? It's like, a text every week. And now? 0% communication. Even though she said she still loved me but wasn't "in love" with me, still wanted to be a friend with benefits and do those things that we do, only that she would call herself single. If she wanted space, fine. But I was willing to sacrifice all of those years of my young life to be with this perfect woman in the future. But she's not that person anymore. It's like she died, but she's still alive. And "i have to be ready for the point" that she might see someone, "just as I would have to be ready if you did". But that's not going to happen. If anything it sure won't happen for a VERY long time. But she is...well, was, perfect. Still is perfect-looking if anything. She could have anyone.

A part of me has been lost. Everywhere I look there's something from her. But everyone I talked to just wants me to pack up and forget she existed. When I texted her the other day I got "Don't call or text this number again, Margaret's mom." Her mom confiscated her cell phone and computer privilages because of her grades at her community college. But there are lots of ways to talk to someone. I know she's just cut off all communication completely.
She said she broke up with me because she was deathly afraid of losing my friendship. But that's bullshit, because the relationship was based on the friendship, and the friendship was having problems; not the relationship. If only she'd made the effort to communicate with me, there might have been a chance. I don't have anything to work with if I can't communicate with her. The distance was a huge handicap, and even though that wasn't the reason she terminated it, it was just another thing that conspired against me trying to form the life I wanted to live with her. I loved her so much I built a lot of parts of my life around her. But now it's like What do I stand for? I live a lonely life now, if not I did already. I don't have a whole lot of friends. I don't ever hardly get momentum from people. When I try and build a friendship, they're too busy with the people they've been friends with for longer, and I fade away in the background.

I know all of this is peanuts to a lot of you. I'm real young on this forum by comparison. But, it's been 3 weeks since she terminated the relationship, thinking only of herself, making every bit of sacrifice I made, everything I was banking, completely useless. And no matter how hard I try I can't get her out of my head. Especially our muffin daughter (That was a thing we had going on. We had a daughter who was a muffin. My mother actually sewed me a muffin-pattern for her and I found her little pockets for clothes.) We love her, though I'm the one that takes care of her, and every time I see her I'm reminded of her. It sounds sili I know, especially to those that have real kids, but keep in mind I really take it seriously. She's important to me.
Margaret was my absolute best friend. She's changed into one of the worst kinds of people out there.
And I know that whether it's really soon or really far away, she'll find someone some day, share everything with him that I once did. She'll probably have a lot more fun with him. I have nightmares every night and during the day if I'm not so occupied it hurts, I can think of every vivid thing going on in her room with generic hot other guy X. He is of course very good-looking and don't get me started on the cock thing. And he probably caters to all of her new interests of gothy-stuff loving (which appeared gradually mind you) and does everything I don't in that regard; probably is real thin and wears tight leather pants which is real sexy to her and something I'd never do considering my build. He probably likes German metal more than I do.
I like looking at ����, but every time I do I imagine her having a wonderful fun guilty time with generic hot other guy X. It eats away at me. I can't stop having nightmares.

It's messing with every aspect of my life, even the parts that are really looking up and going good for me, like my college classes and I am making new friends with relevant interests. But her? I don't think she's ever going to die in my heart. I really don't think she will ever die in my heart no matter how old I am, even if every person that reads this topic will say "You're so young Tristan you've got your whole life ahead of you". Even if I find a wonderful woman. Even if everything else I love about life falls right into my lap. I'll still have nightmares and daydream horrible thoughts. It's killing me. I feel like now I can't be myself, that I have to start doing all sorts of shit like Penis Enlargement because now I'll be running into girls that are way more superficial than Margaret was, and there will always be trust issues and people will always shy away from my being serious all the time.

I'm not some suicidal emo guy. But I certainly feel like there's not as much to live for now, because it will just be alone. If so I might die doing something fantastical that nobody does because there's the whole death risk.
I live each day, eating, shitting, sleeping, working, videogames, computer, writing, art, the usual stuff. But it's painful. Extremely painful. I've never felt such a horrid pain. I can take extreme physical pain. I'm very susceptible to pain of the mind, and that's probably why I felt so drawn here. From the common aspect of penis focus alone we've all felt pain of the mind. Well...a lot of things are attached to this. Margaret refused to do the one thing that would have brought back all aspects of the friendship, but instead chose to run away like she always does. There were no periods of change, nothing where I was given any areas to improve on. And when she finds that other guy, it'll feel just as painful as if she cheated on me, except it's justified and there's nothing I can do and nobody else will care.

I guess the bottom topic is...any advice? What makes love something we pursue? Is it really just because we're animals trying to find a mate? I am lost and I don't know what to do. I can't make any declarations about people or the way they work. But I thought I was safe for the time being. Why am I doing what I'm doing? Why am I here right now with this identity? Is there a reason or is it all chance in something that doesn't really exist? Or is this just a cruel game we all have no choice but to play?

dude, hang in there. It DOES get better with time.

Let HER go and focus on YOU.

She is gone and the real reason maybe her mom or dad not liking you for some reason. Maybe her grades ehhrrr degraded?! Maybe they were afraid of some unplaned pregnancy?! Who the f*** knows right? If she loved you like you seem to love her, she WOULD NOT leave you like that, that was way cold of her...

Onward my friend, life's little misteries abound and are there for you to uncover and enjoy, just don't get so attached next time around cause from where i'm looking, girls are becoming macho and starting to live the way of life that men used to live. Going out all the time with girlfriends and getting wasted and screwing some random dude every other night or weekend. Not attaching to any ONE guy, multiple partners and so on...You get the point, i'm sure.

Let her go dude, sooner the better for you. She looses, not you, because like you there are only a few.

Peace

Mike

I'm so sorry, man. You had so much invested in her, and it sounds like she did not have as much invested in you. Losing your first real love IS painful. And there will never be a love like that one. But that does not mean that there won't be a better, wiser, more compassionate, less fucked up girl waiting for you out there once you are back in circulation.

She grew up. So did you. But you both grew up in different ways. That week that you two finally got together. It read like she had planned it so that you two would not be alone the entire week. It's called "pussy power," and she was in control. That already tells me her feelings for you had changed even though yours were still hot as ever. That was some torch you were carrying for her, man.

When you are in your late teens your feelings are never stronger and your feelings for Margaret will never change--but they will fade.

And as they fade, you will be stronger and a better man for it.

My advice regarding your "daughter," get rid of the pillow. You don't have to throw it away, although it's not a bad idea, but at least get it out of your presence. Could you give it to someone, maybe?

Man, I feel for you. As they say, "This too shall pass." You're such a sensitive, bright guy. She's not worth you, man. There's a woman out there--someone waiting for you, your equal. But you have to be "out there" to meet her.

Sooo...revisiting this topic after 10 months.

My days seemed to be fine for awhile. During Spring, the challenge was simply with the program I was in. But I still cried. Summer came along and I was so happy to be out of the room that caused so many unhappy memories for me. I met a lot of new friends and I loved my program, I was working my okay job and everything seemed to be going fine. I felt completely over her, and life seemed perfect. Well, perfect enough for someone in my position. Though as school started and things began to get ever more challenging, I began thinking about her again. I resisted all attempts to check anything even remotely related to her, thinking it was better to THINK she was actually in a very shitty situation after leaving me and that I'm fighting to get ahead and am winning. Though...
I made the mistake of checking Margaret's facebook profile about a week ago to see that she found another guy relatively quickly. Seems that in a week she was over me, in a month met a guy, and the next month was with him. They've been together and now all of the updates are, well, the usual lovey-dovey shit. It sounds way more genuine than it ever did for me, and I feel like after looking at this, my entire relationship with her was just me being used for 3 years. I want her dead. I seriously want her dead. It would be, how you say, NICE. It's good revenge for all the time of my life she wasted.

And yet...some strange-ass part of me still wants to be with her. Perhaps who she used to be, but that's impossible. Every day it's like a stab in the back. How can someone be so cruel? How's it possible? Surely there are sociopaths in the world. But Jesus Christ, who was *I* in love with for all that time? Was it just a broken soul? She would always say "So you want me to go back to the broken person I was when I was in high school?" Well, in a matter of speaking yeah. She was sweet, she was nice, she was cool and calm and collected. She was my ideal woman that I was willing to sacrifice my young life to be with. What the hell was wrong with me? I'm not a person who makes bad choices. That's one of my best traits. But this? What is this?

Right now the days consist of me getting my new life going and battling the conventional uphill battles in an attempt to distract myself from continuing to question how it's possible for someone like her to keep going with new friends and a loving family and even having someone love them. Nobody tends to pay attention to breakups because they happen a lot. It's like family deaths; painful but too frequent for any one person to deal with. If you're not directly affected by it you can't feel much of the pain and therefore feel none of the hate that goes with it. But goddamn is it a mystery to me. Now, knowing the kinds of friends I have it shouldn't take too long to meet a willing partner at SOME point. But until that time I fight my own battles and life seems very much like a challenge. She seems all too happy, and I feel like...a tortured soul, represented and portrayed by the world as pathetic and vengeful, while she is a beautiful and mysterious member of society. And no doubt if I made any attempt at hurting her I'd have all kinds of people hunting me down, targeting me as "the angry ex" which is ALWAYS the bad guy in society no matter what. Though I really want to hurt her. I'm not going to lie. I never claimed to be a saint.

But I feel that people are trying to get me to be one, or at least get back to being myself. I ain't no killer, no anti-intellectual overly emotional guy. I'm level headed and calm, and my emotions are all but unexpected. There's never going to be any sense of closure. She's never going to contact me and if she even THINKS about doing so, she'll get a firsthand explanation of why nothing good will ever come out of it. It makes a man with a heart cry, to have no choice but to think of hurting someone that they used to love and cherish so deeply they would have taken a bullet for them. What does this make my other relationships? How prone are they to these kinds of disasters? Am I just going to have to live the rest of my life in fear and paranoia of this shit happening? Friends have betrayed me a lot of times in the past, but nobody will even bother trying to fix a person who's paranoid to the point of being driven in a corner. That person will simply wither and die as everybody walks near them.
So I picked myself up and tried getting into the illusion that people really are trustworthy. Don't really know what else to do, as I always feel lost. I'm very good at maskmaking though. I'm not necessarily lying, so much as my very existence hangs on the string of my forcing myself to believe that I can place my life into other people's hands. It ain't making things any easier.

Simply put, I'm conscious and I can move. I can be Tristan, and I can fight my battles just fine. But damn if my feelings towards THAT FUCKING Penis EnlargementRSON won't go away no matter how much I try to force them away. And I did everything I could to make that happen.

Everything is OK in the moment. Remember this, situations do not matter, only state of being matters. If you can stay in the moments and understand the latter you will always be OK. People do not determine our emotions we do. A situation may seem hopeless but it is vital that you see it as hopeful and find the clues left for you to reach for greater and greater happiness. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad as it gives you contrast to what you really want.

Visit this website: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/

This site will help you

Most of guys have been where u were buddy, so take it as one of life lessons. Time will heal u, it always does. Keep focusing on your studies abd occupy your mind with activities. If possible get a girlfriend and have fun with her. You need a new girl that would show u enough attention so that you forget abt ur first love, some call that rebound but I call it the first step in recovery.

So chin up, go out more and reconnect with your peers.

doublelongdaddy;369392 said:

Everything is OK in the moment. Remember this, situations do not matter, only state of being matters. If you can stay in the moments and understand the latter you will always be OK. People do not determine our emotions we do. A situation may seem hopeless but it is vital that you see it as hopeful and find the clues left for you to reach for greater and greater happiness. There is nothing wrong with feeling bad as it gives you contrast to what you really want.

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Amen. DLD with the assist on the Buddhist tip! Its been a while now, and this thread is pretty much dead, but the context is forever around us. We all in some way or another desire to possess others in some way. Often this takes form in romantic relationships. Possession, in its simplest form, seems to be a way we psychologically deal with our own mortality. We begin to see ourselves in the mirrors of others' eyes. The fantasy you played out in your ming about "hot guy x" is not about her as much as it is about your, and ultimately our, desire to be significant and, in a way, immortal. If we are 'special' to someone else, especially someone we find 'special', we can better cope with a world that we know inevitably goes away...

To me, the most insightful look into relationships comes from literature found in some forms of Existentialism like Sartes "No Exit", in which the revealing line "Hell is other people" is said, and psychological text like "The Denial of Death" by Ernest Becker. Also some pop Zen Buddhist stuff can really shift ones thinking. Anyway, I have felt and thought most all of what you described and realized that those emotions and thoughts were nothing but mechanisms for my own self-destruction. Enlightenment into the human condition overall can free us from our tailor made chains.

b23;373613 said:

Amen. DLD with the assist on the Buddhist tip! Its been a while now, and this thread is pretty much dead, but the context is forever around us. We all in some way or another desire to possess others in some way. Often this takes form in romantic relationships. Possession, in its simplest form, seems to be a way we psychologically deal with our own mortality. We begin to see ourselves in the mirrors of others' eyes. The fantasy you played out in your ming about "hot guy x" is not about her as much as it is about your, and ultimately our, desire to be significant and, in a way, immortal. If we are 'special' to someone else, especially someone we find 'special', we can better cope with a world that we know inevitably goes away...

To me, the most insightful look into relationships comes from literature found in some forms of Existentialism like Sartes "No Exit", in which the revealing line "Hell is other people" is said, and psychological text like "The Denial of Death" by Ernest Becker. Also some pop Zen Buddhist stuff can really shift ones thinking. Anyway, I have felt and thought most all of what you described and realized that those emotions and thoughts were nothing but mechanisms for my own self-destruction. Enlightenment into the human condition overall can free us from our tailor made chains.

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It's finding the point in the heart...hopefully all will find this in this lifetime but when they are ready they will find it.

Im sure that Shion is well over this girl by now it was last year this month. I was thinking though anybody going through the pain of a break up might browse over this thread.

So having gone through a devastating break up myself last year in feb I htought Id leave my two cents

It hurts really really REALLY bad and there's Nothing Anyone Can Say to possibly make THAT PAIN go away. Literally nothing. You dont choose who you love and if you really have an emotional attachment to that person #1 understand is it is going to hurt. BAD. But the upside is that it does go away. It may take twice as long as you were in the relationship but I 100% guarantee we find a way to manage.

I tried to commit suicide last year when I saw a pic of my ex in lingire in some guys bed 2 weeks after we broke up online.

She was a real hot piece. We went through total hell together. We dated a month short of a year and lived together. She used to hit me and it was a lot of emotional turmoil dating her.

I was emotionally depressed for about a full year before I started to feel over her.

What I learned was I did get over her. Everything reminded me of and I couldn't picture life without her. But I am such a stronger person becauz of it.

Get outside as much as you can. You dont have to through away everything that reminds you of her because that could be anything but add new things. Getting outside is important because sunlight and fresh air gives positive Ions. Walking along the beach. Do not drink or get high this only will make u worse.

Remember this too There is more than enough FISH in the Sea It my not seem like it now but u will meet someone as beautiful or more beautiful who will love you for you. And you do not need someone that doesnt want to be with you. There are plenty plenty women out there that would love to be with you. They are all over the place.

Exercise, Join a group to meet others in a healthy setting, go to the library and read books that are uplifting or interesting, write, grow as person and others will see.

She may even begin regretting letting you go once she sees you are over her and have grown as a person and are actually a desirable man.

Heh, I wish I was over it just that much. It's more complex than "I still love her", it is to say that I still have some feelings for someone that a girl used to be, and that her new relationship is proof she will never go back to being this person.

The pain has lasted a very long time, and I think it will continue to...at least until I can make sufficient connections or get into a new and improved relationship. But you're right; the best absolute possible thing that can be done is to keep living life to the fullest, go places, do things, and bring yourself as far away from the pain as possible.

Damn it HAS been a year already. I feel like I've been loafing around a bunch!

Shion;375883 said:

Heh, I wish I was over it just that much. It's more complex than "I still love her", it is to say that I still have some feelings for someone that a girl used to be, and that her new relationship is proof she will never go back to being this person.

The pain has lasted a very long time, and I think it will continue to...at least until I can make sufficient connections or get into a new and improved relationship. But you're right; the best absolute possible thing that can be done is to keep living life to the fullest, go places, do things, and bring yourself as far away from the pain as possible.

Damn it HAS been a year already. I feel like I've been loafing around a bunch!

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It takes time to get through this process, be gentle with yourself.

Thats the right idea. The only the thing Ill mention is u dont need to be in another relationship to get over her. That wont be fair to who u start dating because that just using them u know u wouldnt want someone doing that to u right. You need to independent in a relationship. You cant depend on someone else to make u a whole person because nobody wants to take that burden on except for Mothers. You need to be happy with yourself, or at least working toward making a life complete and then you meet someone who is along those same guidlines.

Ie they have friends, you have friends, she works, you work, then you meet and compliment each other. If you date someone to make you a complete person you will never be complete and you will never be happy.

Ive been in therapy my whole life. Mostly by choice. I started at 15 or 16 because my parents made me and now I go by choice. I learn most of this type of stuff there. So Im not just guessing or making any of it up. I hope this helps and good luck. It may even take another year to "GET OVER HER" and that doesnt mean u stop loving her but u will know what I mean when it starts happening.

PM if u want to ask me anything.

Turnover;375919 said:

Thats the right idea. The only the thing Ill mention is u dont need to be in another relationship to get over her. That wont be fair to who u start dating because that just using them u know u wouldnt want someone doing that to u right. You need to independent in a relationship. You cant depend on someone else to make u a whole person because nobody wants to take that burden on except for Mothers. You need to be happy with yourself, or at least working toward making a life complete and then you meet someone who is along those same guidlines.

Ie they have friends, you have friends, she works, you work, then you meet and compliment each other. If you date someone to make you a complete person you will never be complete and you will never be happy.

Ive been in therapy my whole life. Mostly by choice. I started at 15 or 16 because my parents made me and now I go by choice. I learn most of this type of stuff there. So Im not just guessing or making any of it up. I hope this helps and good luck. It may even take another year to "GET OVER HER" and that doesnt mean u stop loving her but u will know what I mean when it starts happening.

PM if u want to ask me anything.

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I used my artwork to get me through the rough times. I literally painted myself through the sorrow into happiness.

Date someone else. And QUICK.

The more girls in between, the easier it is to forget.

And ... there is always someone better, at 20 you will see. Just don't limit yourself, be open to new experiences.

I'm VERY open to new experiences. I just don't see very many of them as of late. Everyone's gone on this damn campus. And going out to places doesn't seem to yield much either unfortunately. I keep at it though.

BTW Skyfox I checked out that seduction website. It has kind of a tangy flavor to it. I like the idea of men who dedicate themselves to pursuing one thing, though it feels a bit strange being on there. On one hand I always feel like I'm doing something wrong; on the other hand I feel that I should continue to be me. But who am I? Someone I want to be or someone who's trying to become who I want to be and struggling day to day because of the many problems of life?
The past can have a lot of effects on the entire thing. Not just relationships I mean anything. It kinda weighs on you. I really do try to shift my thinking as much as possible but often end up becoming fatigued moreso than not. I dunno, what do you think of it?

Studies have shown that even signing up to a dating website helps just after a break-up.

I personally am talking to 3 girls at once. Love 1 of em ... but use the other 2 to balance it all out. It's not easy. Emotionally anyway. But I'm continuously trying to expand the girls I talk to to get over a heart break that happened years ago ...

As far as this site relates ... it helps my dick is larger than average. And I can fuck.

Yeah that would help wouldn't it? I'm kinda still a virgin. Sucks.