REDZULU2003

Its a marathon, not a sprint!
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I've kicked this up.

A place for those who are asexual or thinking of becoming asexual.

This is often dubbed Celibacy as well.

In this thread we can discuss anything surrounding it in a safe, private and respectful manner.

Discuss changes in your life because of it, perhaps background as to why you want to do it but this is not a must. I'll post my story around it tomorrow but for now can say I have been asexual [celibate] for 5 months now.

Thanks
 

Turnover

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Mar 22, 2010
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Fuck ya! Thanks for starting this Red. I want to say I gave up a lot when I became Celibate. I have never been through such a hard time in my life. For the first time it is looking like it is actually going to pay off for the best. I didn't know it at the time, and I don't want to go too much into details now, but I have a case going with a lawyer for somewhat of a large sum of money and yesterday they called and wanted to know some information that if I wasn't going to get the money there was no reason for them to want to know what it is they were asking; so it is a very good sign. Anyways it wont be the only thing that would have made it worth deciding to stick with remaining celibate, my story is a little more difficult because my situation is probably extremely different than anyone you will ever read here on MOS.

In 2007 I came out to my family I did not feel like I was appropriately fitting as a boy. A term used by doctors is called gender dysphoria which I have come to find out is somewhat of a put down when actually it is widely accepted as being called transgender or transsexual. There is a lot of controversy on this but it is not the point of the matter. When I finally came to terms with this to myself and to a place where I could admit it to any other person other than myself I was no sooner cast out of my families house with nowhere to go. This brought me to a housing facility in Los Angeles at the age of 22. I met lots of people like me who were on the street for different reasons. It wasn't so bad, it was one of the best transitional living facilities in Los Angeles and I was always treated fairly and well. The problem was I had such low self-esteem about myself I felt like I was not worthy of love. I never talk about this because this website is dominantly supportive of sex with women and even though I have had sex with a fair share of women and even have a very large percentage of female admirers who have always pursued me even currently, something about being a female does not make me feel attracted towards other women, even though I do find lesbian porn very erotic. For the sake of the story I will admit to having a desire to be with a man. I have never had a boyfriend, my whole life I have felt this way, but I have never met a person who was a match and we were to make a commitment.

While in Los Angeles lots of the kids there were either on the streets for most of their lives or not making any plans to get out soon. They would do a lot of sex work which is prostituting. Even though I never actually was a prostitute the way I learned how to be a girl was how a cheap slut would look. I even had such low self-esteem anyone could pick me up, I had no respect for myself I felt like who I was and what I had become was damnation and so I did not deserve to live with confidence or satisfaction. I have never had an STD thank God, but I would allow myself to be used by whoever I was with if they were saying the right things and promising everything I wanted. At times I had fun and going to new houses or getting new things for nothing but sex was fun and exciting. Years later when I would realize it was for what it was destroyed me. I cried night after night and hated my family so strongly I use to have a heart full of hatred about it. While I was out there some bad things happened to me. I was never technically raped but there were times I would tell someone to stop and they wouldn't and technically that is rape although I would consider myself lucky it was only what it was and it happened several times from girls as well. I had also been robbed, harassed by police, and chased by muggers.

All of this happen in a short period of time. Even though I had felt like I wanted to be female my whole life, ever since I can remember, I never wanted a pussy, and I never cared about the size of my penis, after I went through all of this I had a horrible complexion about my body, for the first time I hated my penis, and I had no idea what was the next step. I had lost all of my friends I had ever had who labeled me such a freak I was no longer good enough to hang out with, and my family would treat me like trash, and even today my brother and his friends have never let me just be a person who is invited around. Although I want to add some of my brothers friends have been very compassionate and loving towards me, this was a few years after we have gotten on better terms through lots of sadness and explanation, this is years after I have already had gone through so much. Now 2010 I had been wandering this way for a while. I had recently found a new job at a women's retail store . I had sworn off anything except sex with women, shaved my head, begged my mom for mercy, and begin trying to live a "normal" existence, my mom let me come back home for some rest.

During this time it was made very clear to me if I were to ever try and not be a boy again I would be thrown out without hesitation. This drove me insane! I would sneak out at night and dress up, I would only be able to do this if I was dressing like a slut, and behaving as such, I was miserable and had no choice but to give it up. I tried throwing out all of my clothes and told my family of doing it who I thought would be proud but cared nothing less for my effort. It was during this time that I found MOS. Its funny to think about it now because at the time of joining I had no idea it would have become what it did to me. At the time I had very little contempt for life. I talked about sex with girls but I remember very well how it was other transsexuals I slept with otherwise I did not bring it up and I did really want to make the pussy wet. I did not want to be looked at how everyone else looked at me. Even now as I feel this place is like a home and you are my friends I choose my words VERY carefully because whether it is admitted or not its just not something people are able to feel comfortable unless they make a bold statement that they are "not that way". I have learned a lot at MOS, I can write anywhere no matter what I'm writing about like a professional, the way I talk is so much clearer and intelligent people think I am rich and have a very educated background, in some ways this is true. I have increased the size of my penis and that has always shocked me because it is so widely disregarded in our world, the fact I did it for free and it was so easy and fun has changed my personality from quiet and shy to comical and excitement. Not only did I make my penis bigger but all the while I did it I made my body in the best shape it has ever been in my life and I met the hardcore guys at MOS. You guys are like nights in shinning armor, Stillwantmore2, MAXAMEYES, REDZULU2003, and the Mustafa DLD. What does this all have to do with celibacy??

Ok so at the end of 2010 I had had enough. All year I had been trying to figure out wtf I was going to do about myself. Originally I had been planning to go to massage therapy school, make my body in really nice shape, make my dick large as possible, and basically just try and find someone famous to become like their personal playmate because I knew I had the face for it. Well I couldn't hide my screaming anguish inside to not be a boy. The last time I had had sex was some time in early summer 2010, but at the very end of October my brother had literally smashed my face in which is when I wrote a thread about hitting him with the PowerAssist which I did, but the truth is if my moms roommate had not pulled him off of me he would have beat me to a bloody pulp. He lifts heavy weights, he is over 300lbs, 2" taller than me, and he just has a huge hatred towards me for no other reason than I am a trans girl. Anyways I did get a couple licks on him but it was nothing like how he got on me. When this happen right after my mom told me I had to move out! After he had attacked me and literally kicked my ass he got on the phone and told her he didn't know what my problem was and that I just attacked him out of nowhere. So I was crying really hard and I was going on a walk in the neighborhood and I was sitting outside of somebody's house. This person came outside and asked me if I was alright and to keep a long story short sort of speak I was invited in and I had oral sex. That was the last time I had any kind of sex in 2010.

This is when I decided why the fuck was I living my life for anybody else. My family was treating me like shit anyways, I had made very little progress in becoming a massage therapist, I hated putting on a fake smile everyday like I was just like everybody else and how guys are suppose to be macho, feminine guys are weak, girls get to have all the fun and never have to feel guilty about liking a guy, they get to smell good and look nice and guys are rough, messy, and play in the dirt. So I said fuck it, all of you, I'm going to do what I'm going to do and if people don't like, not my problem anymore. Of course I was a lot nicer about it because otherwise it could have very much been my problem and to my surprise became a HUGE problem in my life when I thought I had everything planned out perfectly.

Well at the time I decided to be a girl again I had been talking with a guy I met on a website where I had been making connections with people who like girls like me with a penis, and they wanted to basically buy me, and I would not have anything to worry about because just like all these perfect tgirls you see in the porno's I would have all the money to become that which means today, right now as I am writing this, I would have flawless skin, and a flat stomach, and huge tits, and pouty lips, all the best clothes, jewelry, make up, money, etc, etc, etc, etc, and the catch was sex, which I was totally and completely fine with. I mean I wanted sex, realllly bad, part of finally coming to terms with that I was going to become a girl exactly how I had always dreamed was that I was FINALLY going to have all the sex I ever wanted and I never thought I would have ever chosen to make any other choice. So I had spent months and months and months talking to different people, and experimenting with ideas of what I may have liked or not liked. One thing I found I was very attracted to was bondage and I had been very careful in selecting someone who would match with me. So I thought I had found him and he was obsessed with me! Even today, right now as I am writing he has probably new emails he has sent me because he wants me to come live with him right now. Originally I had planned to do porn. I thought that would have been so fuckin' amazing! Plus I saw Red saying he wanted to start a porn label and even act in it with DLD and that is exactly what I wanted to do so I thought that was the direction I was going next. It was perfect, it was what I always wanted, I had already made the promise, committed, and had a date set to leave, and then of course I fell in love. Aww

I don't know if that was stupid. I don't know if it was a huge waste of time and I never was able to stop crying about it every night until recently. I began to accept it was just something that may have become a beautiful friendship and even though I have to force tears not to drop, I never stopped having as much love for this person as I had the first day it happen. So instead of going and living in a beautiful home, and getting all the money I would need to get everything I wanted, and all the things I thought about night after night after night when my mom gave me no choice one day in January to be a porn star or live on the street, something in my blood just kept telling me to hold on for love. It has been hell, I never let a single person have me since then, and it has not been an easy decision. I am a very attractive person and sex is such a confidence booster for someone like me. When people say mean words to me, laugh, or treat me bad, sex was always there to comfort me and I would think even though I have experiences of bastards in real life there are times when I get to run away and hide and have lots and lots of fun these people never know about. Plus with sex I would literally never had have to deal with these bastards again EVER! Not only did I have to say no to sex, but I had to dress different than I ever knew how, I had to do it without anything else except believing; knowing one day if I was right nothing was going to make me give up. I had to live in a scary neighborhood and around people who were negative, evil, destructive, and violent. What I would have been disappointed with was the absolute heartbreak I would have felt when I knew the first lips that were on my lips were not the person that I wanted them to be with. Anything after that would not have been what I wanted, I would have hated the house, the money, the clothes, the lifestyle, I would have just hated myself when I knew I had given up on waiting for what I had wanted since I was very very young which is my first boyfriend.

So I still have never had my first boyfriend, and I have not had sex in almost a year although it has only been since early November I have been celibate. I have made it this far and it was hell, it really was, the hell it was was like no other hell you could understand unless God was trying to teach you a lesson. Even though I still dream about the person I fell in love with I have done my best, at least I have begun to try and see another perspective although it is not easy to accept this person is not interested and I went through all of this for someone else. Because whether I get the money from the case or not I still have until September to live where I am and I just found out about a really awesome job I was told I already have so I'm waiting to get more details now today. I struggle with not having sex when I don't think there is someone out there for me and it hurt so bad I don't want to believe in love anymore at times. I am not completely opposed to dating women either but right now at this moment my heart still belongs to the man I fell in love with whether I like it or not. I would also still be open to doing porn one day but at this time it is not likely. I had to go through so much I feel strongly emotionally changed by it all. Even though I think sometimes if you guys end up doing porn why the fuck did I not do it?! Then I'm going to kill myself or something. Seriously I never wanted anything more in my life that I would become celibate at such a drastic time in my life. It feels like I am never going to have sex again and I think about becoming some kind of spiritual guide who commits to a life without sexual gratification forever because the attitudes of people who are promiscuous are so disgusting to me I would hate to ever be apart of that lifestyle. But I don't know what it is that I am supposed to do because I can't think of having sex with anyone literally a single person and if I think about him with someone my heart sinks 1,000 feet and I don't wish for anything except death.

I think when you go through a traumatic experience like I did and change your body so significantly like I did you become attached to somebody in a way that is more like loyalty of a trusted companion whether it be family relation or animal instinct nothing shifts my desire to change it, not even the person himself threatening to cut me out of his life, and even saying that scares me that I am doing something wrong. Whatever the reason is it brought me to where I am today and if it were to even end as God only allowing me to be trapped in a celibate life forever if only being close friends was all I it was available to me I feel like in some way it is worth every last tear I've cried.
 

rhino19

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May 11, 2011
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Hell of a post Turnover! I makes me realize a few things I never thought of before. Celibacy is somthing thats not in my cards but I applaude you for your dedication and being who you are!
 

DLD

doublelongdaddy
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Celibacy is one of the most beautiful gifts a man can give to himself. For me it has been really getting to know who I am and learning to truly love and accept myself for who I am. I have struggled over the past years with my relationship with Jen, as many know, and after she left this time I was left with me, plain old me and I did not like what I was seeing. Sex, at the time, would have simply been a mask of the things I needed to work on. The last thing I want is to bring a bunch of baggage into a new relationship. I am growing to really care for myself and love who I am, it is a moment to moment thing but I am making positive progress. Someday I may have sex again but for now it is all about me and getting myself in check. Things like going to the dentist, getting a physical, eating right, resting properly, etc. etc. all this is happening now, I am doing things to better myself. I admire both you and Turn for trying this, you will find so much in this journey.
 
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Actually. Dd the same thing at some point. Had a tough breakup and i cutted out sex for half a year. I was broken down and had no self esteem.

Took it as a travel to look inworth instead of trying to look right to the rest of the world. Learned alot of things and after that half a year i started dating again with a lot more confidence and i had ekstra energi.

I met my ex who tryed to mind fuck me again ( she was a psyko)

But my esteem was on a whole other lvl and i kind of felt sorry for her, she kept trying to attack me on all pounts she cold find. And ended up bursting into tears.

Here i was comforting the girl i had been with for 2 years who tryed to mind fuck me ( she knew every little thing about me) but i had moved on and i felt wonderfull. She couldnt hit me because there was nothing to hit. I had moved beyond that.

And i loved my life every bit of it
Celibacy is good for periods in your life. Although i believe that sometimes being a man whore is aswell.

But females tends to fuck up guys sometimes you gotta stop up and think about what your doing with yourself and who you are. If you dont know yourself. Then your doing soemthing wrong, correct it.

My take and experience of it
 

REDZULU2003

Its a marathon, not a sprint!
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Great additions to this thread. So ATM who is actually Celibate and for how long? for me its YES and its been 5 months now but I have gone for over 12 months in the past.
 

Turnover

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doublelongdaddy;431750 said:
I am going to break my celibacy and have sex with this bitch I know names Rosie, she is wicked tight and she has five, fine sisters!
I hope she is Jewish and she doesn't slap you for cumming inside her.
 
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I am 21, and I have been celibate my whole life. In other words I'm a virgin. In some ways it sucks. I'm in college and most of my friends are now or have been sexually active before, and being the one guy in the group without a story to tell can be kind of depressing. It's not that I couldn't get laid if I really wanted to, but getting laid just to say I have been seem empty and meaningless. I'm a Christian and take my faith quite seriously, especially lately after my parents divorce. No more porn (but my imagination has been very active ;). I believe in the sanctity of marriage and that sex should only be done between a man and his wife. Which means until I have said wife that means no sex. So to occupy my time I'm going to work on improving my equipment so that I have a nice big surprise for her on our wedding night.

Thanks for the support.
 

neckercube

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Feb 14, 2012
Messages
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Similar story here, IchBinDerKaiser. Still a virgin at 23! I did have a girlfriend in high school for 9 months but she had a celibate deal until marriage.
I think I will remain celibate while I do Penis Enlargement. Even after I reach a good bencHydromaxark in size, I'm not sure if I would go searching for women everywhere. I'd probably just be the individual "nice guy" I always am and continue with my business until someone takes a interest in me. When I finally do get into a before sex situation, it's going to be awfully hilarious admitting I'm a virgin and them seeing my Penis Enlargement'd penis. On the other hand it'd be really awesome to do a lot of one night stands and see all of the reactions.
 

going all out

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Oct 7, 2010
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man I'm 23 and a virgin too but my reason for that was at 14 or 16 years old I can't remember which one I develop Hidradenitis Suppurativa (hs) the simplest way I can describe it is to show you some picture's View attachment 24977 View attachment 24978 that's just one of many pics about it, I don't have it as bad and as other people and as of now I think mines has gone into remission so hopefully it stays that way plus keeping an positive thought works wonders for you; any who since I had this I felt that if a girl would see this on me they would freak out and never want to see me again or worse spread rumors about what I have around the school which I sure as hell didn't need that to happen so alas I stayed a virgin but I haven't regretted it, I think its somewhat neat that I am a virgin knowing that I can control my sexual urges to some degree. Plus I can do pe in private so I won't have anybody distract me. So keep on pe'ing pplz and lets get our dicks growing
 

rebel2011

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Feb 20, 2011
Messages
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I am in the same situation i think Dld was in. The girl i truly love and i are no longer together so i have been celibate since October. It was kinda a loose new year resolution to not have sex this year. The way i figure it is if i respect myself i will be able to focus on myself and become a better person for it. Also if i truly love this girl i will respect her and wait. Hopefully we will end up together and i can honestly tell her i did not have sex with anyone. I had to tell her i did once before and i felt like Shit.

I know that waiting for a woman isn't the right reason but it is what i feel to be right to in a way show my love and devotion if we get back together. So Im 4 months in right now. I really have the urge to Fuck someone but i will try to refrain myself.

What is celibate? No sex no oral? What about hand jobs or self stimulation?
 

newbiefor9

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Jul 6, 2011
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IchBinDerKaiser;473315 said:
I am 21, and I have been celibate my whole life. In other words I'm a virgin. In some ways it sucks. I'm in college and most of my friends are now or have been sexually active before, and being the one guy in the group without a story to tell can be kind of depressing. It's not that I couldn't get laid if I really wanted to, but getting laid just to say I have been seem empty and meaningless. I'm a Christian and take my faith quite seriously, especially lately after my parents divorce. No more porn (but my imagination has been very active ;). I believe in the sanctity of marriage and that sex should only be done between a man and his wife. Which means until I have said wife that means no sex. So to occupy my time I'm going to work on improving my equipment so that I have a nice big surprise for her on our wedding night.

Thanks for the support.
Me too! I have a girlfriend and we are waiting till we are married. I think celibacy is a blessing in this day and age!
Cheers
 

Scypher

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Sep 23, 2010
Messages
102
I think celibacy is a great thing. I have pretty much done it all(not trying to brag, please), had sex with numerous girls, had numerous girlfriends, done the single and ready to mingle thing, and to be completely honest, I find it all empty. I have realized that unless you have a destination planned (marriage, long term relationship), doing things that satisfy you for the moment (friends with benefits, sex partners, dating someone just to date them) gets you nowhere. I feel celibacy comes in to play here perfectly, instead of pursuing those things that have no future in them, remain celibate. Take time to work on yourself. Like others have said above and from what I have experienced in my past, sex can cover up insecurities and things you need to work on. It's better to take the time by yourself, to prepare yourself to be with somebody. That way when you are with them, YOU are fully ready and not lacking because you took the time to prepare yourself. This preparation could pertain to Penis Enlargement (and I think for all of us here it most definitely should atleast include it!) but it could also pertain to health, fitness, hygene, faith, job, ect, ect. For me, I have been celibate over a year now. It started right after I was messing around with a girl that I did not want to be with, I just was messing around because there was simply the option to mess around and I said "ok." Because there was no foundation built, no future in a relationship because she wasn't a girl I would date, it simply went nowhere. We messed around for a while, and then after a while, I got bored. I realized I shouldn't be doing this, pursuing something going nowhere with no gratification other than the small gratification that came with the sex. After that I realized I needed to do things differently. Being celibate has been a great thing for me. Sex is no longer a crutch. I love sex, but I don't need to have it. Yea I want it but I can wait for it to be in the right situation. This time of withstaining has allowed me to fully enable myself for that next relationship (hopefully marriage). I have been able to get all areas of my life in check, including climbing that Penis Enlargement mountain. Like someone said before, I'm using this time of celibacy to fully prepare myself so that when I do meet that lucky lady, I can suprise her definitely with big somethin on our wedding night along with many other suprises!
 

Dick_Slinger

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Feb 2, 2011
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I think celibacy is a sure fire way of turning gay slowly but surely, or is that slowly but shirley?
 

REDZULU2003

Its a marathon, not a sprint!
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14 months Celibate here and no shit holes been on my mind :)
 

Tomek

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Mar 1, 2012
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Wow I don't know how all of you do it :). I'd lose my mind LOL. I've been with my girl for over 4 years (beginning of fresHydromaxan year in highschool). We started having sex at 15 and it has gotten ridiculous to say the least LOL. I do think it is great that all of you are doing this though, and although I don't believe in the whole saving sex for marriage thing, I do believe that you should save it for the person you intend to marry. I knew when I was a fresHydromaxan in highschool that we'd get married. If I didn't, I would've waited along with the rest of you guys. What all of you are doing is fantastic, and one day when you marry and have kids you'll look at your family and be glad you did it.
 

REDZULU2003

Its a marathon, not a sprint!
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Good way of thinking. I just stopped not for religious reasons but because I wanted a challenge and tbh couldnt be arsed with going around having loose sex anymore. I have had many tasty snacks if you like :) eaten at the finest and not so finest places, yet I desire .. no I yearn for that one thing .. LOVE .. true love and I would love to have it from a fantastic girl to settle with but that wont arrive while being so sexually active, as is why I have taken the challenge. It will make me appreciate sex more, make it so more special when she comes around and in the meantime I can just tug myself off :)
 

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